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      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here. Β 


  1. Miss Chief

    Miss Chief


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    Koby's Friend

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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/19/2018 in all areas

  1. 5 points
    Suicide isn't wrong. To commit suicide is the wrong decision often times though. I recently heard this interview with someone who's job it is to clean up the tracks after someone jumped in front of a train. He said it takes three hours in most cases to clean everything up. He also said that because he had seen what the impact of the train does to a person he would never commit suicide by jumping in front of a train.
  2. 4 points
    When I was in Tokyo, trains were the loneliest places in the world. I was always - 100% of the time, the only passenger on board without his face stuck to the screen of a smartphone. There's just so much condensed within these phones now that people live in a constant state of distraction. Spotify, Instagram, emails, YouTube, sports apps, news, weather, you name it, it's all in there. Trains in London even have built in phone chargers in the armrests. We're just becoming so dependent on them. In the early 2000's, you just went round to your mates houses and knocked on the door to see if they were in. I carried a mobile sporadically, and it was usually stashed in a rucksack.
  3. 4 points
    There are two ways of looking at this. On the one hand, suicide is selfish. A person taking their own life is not considering the affect it will have on their friends, family, work colleagues and indeed people who have to deal with the aftermath of their death. So in that regard suicide is wrong. However, you also have to take into account the feelings of the person who wants to/does commit suicide. They must be in a dark place, a place that nobody other than them can truly comprehend. Of course, suicide is never the answer but if they genuinely believe that is their only option then it is difficult to argue that it is truly wrong on every level. One thing is for certain, whatever angle you look at it from suicide is utterly tragic and has a devastating affect on all concerned. An anomaly here as others have said is someone with a chronic or terminal illness. I don't believe it is wrong then at all. We don't expect animals to suffer, when they are suffering that much they are put to sleep. It seems wrong to expect humans to put up with such hardship. @blacktiger911 One other thing I will add. Reading your other thread you posted today, I hope you can find some sort of help or support. You are clearly in a bad place and are feeling troubled. I am sorry I don't have any more practical advice, but please know that you are not alone and the people on this forum are here to support you.
  4. 4 points
    As others have said, I think in some situations it is less wrong because if the person has a chronic illness that is causing them unbearable pain, I would feel bad to not let them if that was their decision. But I also feel that it is wrong or at least a situation that should not be made easily because we cannot see the bigger picture and if we choose to die sooner than we would have otherwise, something else might not have happened which would have brought joy to someone. It is a very hard topic though, I have a hard time because I do not like seeing others in pain and suffering but we do not know what is just around the corner. And I believe pain and suffering can be used for good later... for an example, someone who went through pain and suffering and overcame it is better placed to understand someone who is currently struggling than someone who never did. Anyway I hope you are feeling better soon. I hope things get better for you and anyone who is struggling or feeling depressed or in pain.
  5. 4 points
    No, I get fed up with generalisations about people on the spectrum and this is yet another one. Actually, I get fed up with generalisations about anyone, on the spectrum or not.
  6. 4 points
    Diagnosis is only useful if you need help. If being you is ok then there is no need for diagnosis. Perhaps that’s what they meant
  7. 3 points
    Maybe you should take a vacation, plan something fun for you. Getting up at 4 am and not getting home by 7 pm sounds pretty awful and I would be tired from that too. Even with less of a workload. And if you recently separated from your partner, I think it is more understandable you need a break and need to spend some time doing something you love. Remember you have choices. If you choose to play video games, enjoy that! Don't worry about if others might think it is not enough of a life. But if you want to take a break, go for a walk, indulge in a good movie or a good book... try to relax and take time for yourself. If you feel you are working too much maybe you should ask if you could work a day less or a few hours less at least on some days.. Maybe you need to get help with your finances.. if you are working so much but still feel like you are not able to afford things, maybe you need to get some help/advice on that. Take some time for yourself though, that is my advice.
  8. 3 points
    It's not so much wrong as an incredibly bad, tragic decision, which doesn't solve any problems and causes grief for other people. But I don't think it should be a crime or illegal - we can't tell people what to do or not to do, and there is no way of enforcing such a law. I think that there are some special circumstances when it can be a 'right' decision, as in the case of euthanasia, when the person has a chronic fatal illness and is suffering or has a bad quality of life, and that person then discusses it with their family, and they come to that decision because the person doesn't want to suffer any longer and the family don't want to see the person suffer. But unfortunately, most suicides are the result of depression or PTSD and are often impulse decisions as the result of bad brain chemistry - and that is what makes it tragic, a waste of life and a really bad decision, because there are other, better solutions if the person seeks help.
  9. 3 points
    It's a common error to categorise AS or Autism with traits and characteristics, because it's all SO individualistic. I know some people on the spectrum who are massively extroverted and have larger than life personalities - one of these is actually a West End actor. Others are more introverted and/or shy (shy doesn't = introversion), and therefore don't crave the company of other people. Some (like me) teeter somewhere in the middle. Some have intelligence WAY beyond what is considered the level for a genius (can't claim this one I'm afraid), whilst others have severe dyslexia, and barely make it through school. Some are meticulously well organised, and then there's tossers like me who have thought patterns like Chinese puzzles, and do things in a frenetic and discombobulated manner. Some on the spectrum have melt downs, some are docile and detach themselves from reality for a bit. And then, you can go ahead and cut as many facets, dig as many valleys and create as many anomalies as you want into everything I have just said, and make as many combinations as you like, because you'll never have the same list of traits twice. Basically, as more people get diagnosed and ASD is gaining more recognition, it's becoming very obvious that this is a complex and very hard to understand condition. I'm actually finding it hard to understand myself now - I'm starting to wonder exactly where I slot into all this, or if I have it at all. Or if any of us do.
  10. 3 points
    Like @Nesf I think I got some of these wrong as I was trying to think of examples and if I thought of one I said yes but perhaps I should have also tried to think of times when I got things wrong, that might have been a more accurate/balanced portrayal. However, I also think that I have worked out quite a lot of this stuff since becoming an adult, I think I would have scored much lower when I was a teenager, but life experience and observing others has taught me an awful lot (I didn't even really start observing others until I was 14). Also I don't think it was that I ever lacked empathy (I've always been distressed by seeing others in pain or witnessing cruelty or injustice) but I do think that when I was young I didn't always pick up on things (cause I wasn't watching) or know what it was that I was seeing (cause I didn't have the experience to interpret the situation properly), this is what I have learned to do better as an adult. Anyways my score was 32/80.
  11. 3 points
    I got a really low score on this test, only 11, but I don't think that I lack empathy. I think I'm perhaps not answering the questions right as I should, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to answer them, but I put slightly agree or slightly disagree to many of them, and it seem to give equal rating to both the mild end of the spectrum (slightly agree/diagree) and the extreme end (strongly agree/disagree) and I don't think that this is right. Also, perhaps they should give more weighting to certain things, like feeling for people and animals which are suffering, as for me, this is basic empathy, and I certainly I feel for people and animals who are suffering. Many of the items are due to ASD traits, and not lack of empathy, they are not the same thing.
  12. 3 points
    An interesting test - thanks for posting it Gone home. Although I thought many of my answers showed a degree of empathy I only scored 17 so I'm not quite sure how the test was scored. As with many such tests the questions can be quite difficult to answer and depend heavily on context and specific situations. I think in any diagnostic situation there would be a need to discuss the questions and responses and not just look at the raw score. I suppose with AS empathy manifests itself in untypical ways rather than being absent or even reduced. For example someone with AS may not try to console someone who is upset because of fear of seeming intrusive or getting things wrong and causing further distress rather than not feeling for their situation.
  13. 2 points
    I visit about 7 places per day, 5 days a week, 49-50 weeks a year (cuz vacation). Go in, fix what's broken, get out. Recently reached the 4,500 houses/businesses mark and here are a few of the interesting things I've learned: 1) People need somebody to blame. People can't accept that stuff breaks. Even when you show them a corroded piece of copper cable... I mean, come'on ppl, copper? pennies? corroded pennies? copper oxide? Nope, ppl won't accept it. It must have been that whoever installed it, "did it wrong". Because "how come copper reacts with the oxygen in the air?". No no no... Either the installer did it wrong, or the equipment was defective or the cabling used was sub-par because somebody must have messed up something somewhere. 2) People hate to acknowledge their mistakes. I lost count how many times I arrive to find that the power cable was not plugged in. But people still swear "it was plugged in before and it wasn't working, I'm sure". I'm better off not pointing out that the power cable was unplugged... I'm better off opening the equipment, touching components in a geeky way, closing everything back up, quietly plug the power cable back in, say some geeky techno-babble and calling it a day. 3) Many parents of Aspie kids have lost all hope that their kids will ever amount to something. This one came as a surprise to me. When I meet parents of aspie kids, most praise their accomplishments and say they do have high hopes. They can't stop going on and on about famous aspies. But the moment I tell them I'm an Aspie myself, they loose all confidence in my ability to fix what's broken... because I'm an aspie. :\ They wait about 10 minutes and come back with some excuse: "something came up, we have to leave soon, we need you to stop working and we'll call later to re-schedule for another person to return and fix the issue at a later time". 4) Most parents of Aspie kids think very highly of themselves Not as surprising as #3 but, sometimes I remain silent about my own aspiness and instead just mention that I'm also a parent of an Aspie kid. Their conversation immediately switches "how difficult it is..." and "all the work that we do..." and "all the sacrifices that we make...". They give me their phone numbers and tell me to call them up if I ever need moral support in dealing "with this". With the "this" being the parenting of an Aspie. As if it was an unspeakable burden or something. 5) Everybody thinks they can do my job. It doesn't matter what it is that broke. The very first sentence people say is always: "I think the <insert equipment here> broke because <insert their opinion here> and can be fixed by <insert how they think I should do my job here>". Forget about the fact that if they knew how to fix it, they wouldn't have called for help in the first place. But this usually means I have to do my job twice. One to fix what's really broken, and a second "make believe" fix acting as if I'm following their advice, tinkering with what they want me to tinker with, even tho it has nothing to do with what's actually broken. Because if I don't check what they "think" it's the issue, they will call again and have another guy come in to check what they think it's broken... even after it's fixed. And I can't tell them they are wrong (see #2). 6) Many people think you know them and know about their lives and the people in it. This doesn't happen "a lot", but it happens often. Someone starts talking to you it goes like this: "Timmy was visiting aunt Lucy. I know he used the <insert equipment here> before he left. That's how long ago it's been broken". And I'm like... who's Timmy? Who's Aunt Lucy? and most importantly, when did he left? And how you know it broke when he left? Did somebody try to use the equipment after Timmy left? If so, when was that? Did Timmy came back? 7) People's mood swing tend to be global, reacting to external things. There are periods, sometimes weeks long, where most people are extremely happy, or extremely cranky. Like right after Christmas where most people are recovering financially from over-expending the month prior on gifts.. and they are cranky as hell. More often than not, I can't pinpoint what's the global trigger. But it seems to be a known issue on consumer retail as well. Some days everybody is just cranky.
  14. 2 points
    This is why I don't talk to people about having Asperger's. I don't like to be prejudged. Actually, I like to know what's going on when someone comes to fix something in my house. I want to learn and to understand. I'm likely to ask loads of questions in this situation. It frustrates me when a techie only gives me miminal details, or assumes that I don't need to know something, or doesn't want/can't be bothered to explain... I want to know!
  15. 2 points
    To be fair at no point did @Roxy say he or she, I kind of assumed it was a woman because there are kids and single mothers are more common than single fathers, I did assume said person was single since having a significant other involved would definitely be a complication worth mentioning, I suppose it could be someone who has joint custody (male or female) but I got the impression the kids were a constant fixture (again I was making assumptions) but I don't really see that it matters whether it's a man or a woman?
  16. 2 points
    Try to make the most of your vacation. Work and home will be there when you get back. It can be hard either at the beginning of a vacation and adjusting to the change in routine or after a while you just wanr to go home... It is understandable but please... Try to relax and do something you enjoy.
  17. 2 points
    It depends on the situation If a person has a condition which is going to kill them anyway and they can't take the pain of it any more, and they want to commit suicide to make the pain end sooner, I wouldn't disagree with their decision then tbh
  18. 2 points
    Who said this? Mr Bean? Thinking around problems is a basis of what I do! Abstract thinking, again, what I'm pretty much paid to do... if I couldn't do either of those I wouldn't get very far.
  19. 2 points
    I think that you need not to try to take on too much at once, and learn to recognise the little signs that a frustration meltdown is iminent - that you feel restless or that you start to stim more, or that you feel tense and irritible. Then, when you are feeling this way, it's time to take a break - go outside for some fresh air, or make yourself a cup of tea or whatever you normally do to calm yourself down. Frustration meltdowns are usually the result of an accumulation of stress and are never one thing, they are the straw that breaks the camel's back - you need to recognise it and take action before it gets to that stage.
  20. 2 points
    Getting hit on is a separate issue, I kind of deal with that a bit better, I am more confident handling that, I suspect it is because I mostly hang out with men and so I am more used to dealing with men, it was an issue when I was younger cause I didn't always pick up on the fact they were hitting on me until I was in an awkward situation and it would be harder to get out of whatever I had innocently agreed to (like going for a drink and me assuming he means as friends). I got there in the end and now I am pretty confident handling that kind of situation, I suppose it's a compliment really, although I still don't notice until it's too late if a woman hits on me, fortunately that happens less often People don't usually boss me around, but if someone pissed me off I would be rude too, I don't see why I should be polite if they're not going to be Having said that sometimes people think I am being rude/aggressive when I have no intention of being so, although this doesn't tend to be in casual conversation, it's usually if I am talking to a shop assistant/receptionist/manager type situation, I don't mean to be offensive but I am sometimes perceived that way. My mum (she isn't on the spectrum) told me that something similar happened to her recently and a person from a nearby table who was alone butted into her conversation with her friend at a cafe, he was going on about things like Brexit and immigration and being quite offensive/racist and she said she was just agreeing with him cause she didn't want to talk to him and she was scared she might 'set him off' if she disagreed with him... I wouldn't have done that in that situation, I would have debated them and tried to broaden their point of view but even if they weren't open to an alternative view, I wouldn't have agreed with something I think is reprehensible, I'm not saying I would escalate the conversation into an argument but I would be firm that it isn't something I agree with. Reason I mention that is cause while I get anxious about this kind of thing I am still assertive when I'm in the situation, I don't know why I get anxious about it when nothing bad has ever happened but I do, I DREAD going on buses (buses are definitely worse than trains too). Generally people just chat to me about all kinds of random stuff from the inane, current affairs/politics all the way to what seem to be big problems they're having, I always talk back and I'm polite unless they give me reason not to be but I just don't know why a random stranger will just start talking to me about anything, I mean of all the people they could chose why is it always me? Anyway, I think I have kind of taken us a bit off topic, it was just that the smiling at strangers triggered my mind in this direction since it's kind of similar and I have sometimes wondered if me smiling at someone gives them a kind of permission, I can tell when people are watching me so if I look at the person watching me and there's eye contact I might smile, however, sometimes people strike up conversations with me when I haven't even looked at the person, so it definitely isn't always that.
  21. 2 points
    @Miss Chief it happens to me, too, and when I was younger, sometimes I got a lot of unwanted attention from guys wanting to chat me up, thankfully that's stopped now. I wear headphones too and it helps, but people still do it. It wouldn't annoy me so much if there was a purpose behind it, that they had something to say, but often they don't and just seem to be talking for the sake of talking - perhaps they are just lonely or something. The worst is when people talk to me to tell me to do something, or what I should be doing, the last thing I need is to be bossed about or criticised by strangers. I'm usually polite to people, but if that's the reason they talk to me, to boss me around and tell me what to do, I get irritated and snap - they should just mind their own business.
  22. 2 points
    I do smile at people if they look right at me... it's almost a nervous thing, like I'm fine, just move along although I suppose there is an element of politeness too but by and large I only do it if they look right at me, mostly I try to avoid eye contact and therefore don't need to smile Like @Ben I end up in conversations with complete strangers a lot although unlike him I categorically do not initiate, people just always talk to me... it stresses me out about going out, I know it's going to happen and I don't want it to (like @Nesf I have social anxiety), don't get me wrong, I manage fine when it does happen (and again like Ben I've even made some friends that way) but I would prefer people just ignored me or left me alone, this isn't people hitting on me either (that's a whole other issue), this is just random people who are near me. It's even worse in some places like pubs, cafes, restaurants (when I used to work away if I was on my own I would go out for a meal on my own... it's shocking how many people from neighbouring tables would try and engage me in conversation while I was reading/eating) or buses & trains (they are so bad I hate using public transport), sometimes people tell me what I can only assume are quite secret things. Hell sometimes people that are walking in the same direction along the street have stopped and started walking along with me to have a conversation. This really bothers me... I don't see this kind of thing happening to other people so why does it keep happening to me? People tell me I have a trustworthy face but I don't really know what that means or how to change it (if it can be changed), I usually have a neutral expression on my face if I'm not actively doing something (like listening to someone or reading something, apparently when I do those things I makes faces that people misinterpret as anger or irritation). That's another things, I've tried listening to music with headphones and reading a book while out and STILL people start talking to me... I mean WTAF can't they tell I am otherwise engaged?
  23. 2 points
    An empathy quotient test. I don't know how good an indicator it is, but was surprised by my score which I thought would be higher. I guess scores may differ a little at different times. I scored 19 / 80 https://psychology-tools.com/empathy-quotient/
  24. 2 points
    A cube is a 3D square, so it has 6 square faces (4 sides and a top and bottom), like a box or a Rubix cube (obviously not the little squares that you rotate the cube as a whole I mean). No one should ever ask for your password, they should have an admin logon they can use to test it. Are you suggesting you were able to access your site files without a username/password? I strongly recommend you find a new host if that is what you meant since that means anyone else can do it too, this is called a vulnerability and if they haven't fixed it even though you notified them then they are not a good host.
  25. 2 points
    "Mine gave me a 'pass' and I had 20/20, but it told me that I must be out of practice because I took a lot of time to finish." That's why intelligence can't be tested in black and white. You need to callculate slowly for serious maths and get the figures right. Only in employment speed is an issue. And there's my problem. I can calculate expected currents in microamps but put me on a till or ask me to do a few quick sums and I'm clueless. The cause is hyperfocus. Detail dominates the overall approach. The damage is done when the student is told he (or she) is thick on the basis of speed. You can be slow but still have good potential for maths through patterns and detail. Also for me if a question isn't specific, I won't understand. I once started a Paul Cooijman test but the term "cube" left me reeling. I guess it meant "square" but just one irregularity will throw me. I lack the ability to assume or draw the obvious estimate. It has to be specific.
  26. 2 points
    I am much the same in terms of keeping my distance from other people in real life. I don't want to be seen as intrusive or getting too close and try to respect others' space and privacy. I feel that if they want more contact it's best to leave the initiative to them. However I'm aware that others may see things differently and interpret my behaviour as "stand-offish", "aloof" or "anti-social". I'm not sure if it were referenced in the empathy test but it's possible lack of social involvement in this way might be interpreted as lacking empathy - being uninterested in the lives of others. For me though it displays a different and important kind of empathy which is giving others space and privacy. Sometimes it seems people with AS cannot win - if they interact with others they are seen as awkward and lacking social skills and when they don't interact they are seen as being anti-social.
  27. 2 points
    19/80 I scored just taking it now Probably different by how I feel at certain times
  28. 2 points
    I got 60 points. Which should be against the norm for me. But I answered as truthfully as possible
  29. 2 points
    Aspies are intuitive. It is a gift to use but kept hidden as people love to trash anyone who is different
  30. 2 points
    As a child I would take working things to bits ... as an adult I take broken things to bits. I like to know how things work though in middle age I am not as interested as I was
  31. 2 points
    Well if you were paid you would need to be reliable. I'd see voluntary as therapeutic, work history and practice for paid work ... which includes dependability paid or not ... however you cannot help ill health. Do you know whats getting on top of you? Are there any pattern or triggers to your depression or late nights? Are you doing enough recreational interests to recharge? Sometimes when alot on, I forget to pursue interests and get depressed, but I realise these interests give strength of mind if I kick myself to do them. I suppose options are different days, shorter days, late or early shifts, or less days to see if you can get a sweet spot rota wise that you can manage. Leaving is another option, but the dead time may not be useful health or momentum wise so if thats a direction I would try and get an alternative placement first so you can keep things rolling without momentum grinding to a halt. Managers all have different styles to getting shifts filled ... the sickly sweet emotional blackmail is probably one of the better styles once you can defend yourself from having your heartstrings twanged and be able to assert your availability while keeping flexibility well within your limitations. People always push for more, so availability wise I would leave a safe margin for yourself that you can commit to and make sure you pursue your interests that recharge you. You seem to have done well so far ...
  32. 2 points
    Three things occur to me on reading this post. 1. It sounds like you have depression, and that is what is causing these issues rather than Asperger's. If you are to continue working, you need help for this. Perhaps you could speak to your GP? Obviously, your mental health should come first, sorting the depression out is top priority. 2. If this lady is running a shop and has several members of staff, then yes, she does need to organise a timetable and be able to rely on her staff being able to come in at pre-arranged times. Not turning up will probably put her in a difficult position, as she might not have the staff necessary for the shop and might need to ask another member of staff to come in and cover for you, so it is reasonable for her to ask this of you. If you want to continue working there, you do need to be able to guarantee that you can go at certain times. If you feel that you can't do this, then you probably should give up the job, or take a break from it until you have dealt with the depression. As for staying up late, if that's a reason why you are not going, that is something that you need to work on changing - it is reasonable to expect that they might make some accommodations for you, but you will also need to make some accommodations for them for it to work, a compromise - work on changing your daily routine so you don't go to bed so late, for example. Keeping a job, even volunteering, deos require a certain level of committment on your part.
  33. 2 points
    No, I don't think you are a psychopath detector, you are not a machine and please be aware, you will almost positively be wrong in the future even if you have good intuition about these things. The more knowledge you have, the more you observe someone and the more intuitive you are, the more you are going to be able to understand what is really going on with someone. Just because you were right a few times, does not mean you have some secret knowledge about everyone's mental state. I am sure it is because you knew your mother and father well, and people in your group, and so you had time to observe them and you had previous knowledge that you could use to "diagnose' them. But please try not to let this make you arrogant because just because you know one person does not mean you know everyone. AND it makes sense you would know your parents and group well. Your brother probably just had other ways of thinking about it, or maybe it was easier for him to think of your father as a narcissist, it might have been his way to understand his world. Point is, it is not a superpower or anything, it just shows you observed them as well as at least a psychologist would who diagnosed your mother and father and group. Not trying to downplay it but it's what I think.
  34. 2 points
    That sounds tough. I hope you and your sister can work things out to get to a better place because I think sisters are great. Sisters can also be the ones that most aggravate us since they know how to push our buttons. It is sad that she works so closely with autistic kids yet has this attitude towards autism. I agree you should try to keep her in your life for your niece and also it is a lot easier to forgive than to hold grudges. Although maybe it is worse than I think but i think it does not hurt to put some positive optimistic energy into the situation and hope for the best. It might be best to limit the time you spend with her especially on your own so you can keep your energy up more.
  35. 1 point
    I mean no harm with my comment just think its better to laugh at myself thought id say now
  36. 1 point
    Happy Valentine's Day πŸ’•πŸ’—
  37. 1 point
    I don't know where you got that from, I would say the complete opposite is true, people on the spectrum tend to be logical, they are organised lateral thinkers (thinking outside the box, seeing the big picture) they have an analytical approach, all of this contributes to us often being more intelligent than those around us. However, a lot of people on the spectrum also have learning disabilities (I assume you do based on posts you have made, the math one springs to mind where you said you had to approach it differently to how you were taught it... the very definition of a learning disability) and that can mean that they struggle to grasp theories during education and if they cannot find a way around it and this might give the perception that they are stupid when in fact it is just that they need to learn differently to others. People with learning disabilities are not stupid.
  38. 1 point
    I work with three other people with Aspergers. No one knows I'm an aspie. Sometimes I observe them and think I am higher functioning, but then sometimes I realize it's just expressed differently. Mine is almost always expressed through anger. And it always feels like it's so sudden and random. Upon closer inspection it's neither. Today at the end of my work day I found myself livid. When I get to that point it's all I can do to not completely melt down. When I have a meltdown it usually involves snapping at someone, cursing, making a snide comment, or some other negative thing that I immediately regret. The regret is always worse because it lasts much longer than the anger. I've had two of these moments this week. The first happened with my husband. He called me right after I'd finished doing a rigorous yoga routine and was cooling down and meditating. He asked what I was doing and I told him. I was mildly irritated to have to do conversing in this moment, but I think I managed to not express it. He said sorry for interrupting my meditation and I said something like, it's cool, no worries. Then he asked me some question. Then another. Trying to keep my cool... (being asked questions is a potential trigger for me, for some reason it can sometimes irritate me so much to have multiple questions fired at me, particularly if they strike me as pointless gap-fillers). Then, he said, are you ok? Hate this question. Pointless, even though it's well-intentioned. I guess cause if there's something wrong, I'd say so? I don't know! Hate that question especially. I said yes. With perhaps an undertone of, "I'm in the middle of trying to meditate and you're firing questions at me, didn't we cover that? " then he said " you been drinking or something? " Final edge-pushing stupid question. I yelled "No." It just burst out of me. He had hurt in his voice and the conversation quickly ended. I felt terrible all afternoon and apologized profusely when he got home. Then today. The moment of anger came when someone broke routine and I was forced to comply due to time constraints. I won't get into the specifics. But it immediately angered me to an irrational degree. I made a snide comment about it then left. I hated that it was the last thing I did before the shift ended. Why did I get pushed to that point over something trivial? It was a day of non stop sensory overload, people whining, bombarding me with time-wasting questions and chit chat, and at the end of that day, all I have left to hold me together are routines, and they were broken. I actually had this moment when I got home when I asked myself, "what's wrong with me?" And I was like, "oh, right. I have Aspergers." Kind of an amusing moment but at the same time, still disappointed every time I let my temper get the better of me. It feels like something possesses me, says something terrible or hurts someone, then disappears leaving me to apologize to someone and feel like a crazy a hole. And it's always just when I feel like I'm beyond being pushed to that point that it happens. I don't know if it's going to get any better and I'm deeply afraid that this limit I have had been stretched as far,as it will go and will prevent me from getting much further in my career and general development. Okay. Had to get all that off my chest.
  39. 1 point
    I wouldn't say I have a great memory in general but certain things I can remember very specifically. In particular I can give precise dates for when various things happened. I can still recall dates and times of things such as driving tests (quite a few before I eventually passed!), job interviews and lesson observations when I was teaching. Many of these didn't go very well and that may be a reason for me (unfortunately) remembering them. i can also give dates for some more positive events but also some apparently mundane ones. I can still remember the times of day when I would have certain lessons at school as a student and later as a teacher. I can also remember a lot of football scores and their dates from decades ago. I think the date focus of my memories relates to my long-standing fascination with days of the week, dates and calendar patterns. This could be a way in which an AS interest has framed memory. Others with AS may have no interest in dates but their own interests or preoccupations may have patterned the way their memory works. In some cases this can mean remembering with ease (no conscious learning or memorisation) details others would easily forget but it may make other things harder to remember. Often having a good memory is seen as being very positive. In many ways this is so but it depends on what is being remembered. The "ability" to remember a great deal about bad experiences is not very helpful. Sometimes the real gift is being able to forget the failures or frustrations in our lives, or at least to quickly learn from them and then move on. We need to be better at remembering successes skills and routes forward rather than looking back at things that have gone wrong.
  40. 1 point
    This could be my sentimental side talking, but this concept would be a great ending to a book. Especially if the dogs name was that of the plant or tree, Blossom for instance (who the fuck would name a dog Blossom?) Anyway, shut up Ben. I'm not going to lie, I felt slightly emotional when I read this. The relationship between you and this dog was the essence of an unconditional friendship, and having to lose that (in a world where these types of relationships are getting rarer and rarer) is always going to be incredibly difficult. I don't have anything to say that's going to change the world, and certainly, nothing that can make things better, but know that life is ever changing. It evolves and develops and takes many twists and turns. And while no dog will ever replace your friend, you, yourself, will only grow more dynamic and emotionally intelligent for the experience. Get yourself a dog. It won't be your friend, it'll be a whole new and different experience. Remember, different doesn't equal better or worse, it's just different.
  41. 1 point
    Scarcely ever do I have any interaction with strangers of the kinds mentioned above. Even in shops where I am a habitual customer the encounter is a very brief business-like affair with rarely the more social element I see with some regulars. It is possible there are differences in people's faces and demeanours which encourage or discourage "stranger interaction". Smiling / not smiling may play a part but there are many other factors. It's probably difficult to identify what these differences are and they're not necessarily the same as exuding "friendliness / unfriendliness". Perhaps it is an intensity that some people project (often unwittingly) or an air which suggests "not open for interaction" or "strictly business".
  42. 1 point
    No, definitely not. Eye contact makes me feel uncomfortable, let alone smiling at strangers.
  43. 1 point
    To answer the other question, yes, I have dyscalculia. It lasted most of my life. I also have spatial issues and don't drive and am very clumsy and slow moving. I am in a very strange predicament. I can now calculate the ratios of electromagnetic pulses to electron velocity but yet I am incapable of giving change in a shop. The simplest task is beyond me. Friends helped me to pick up shop work like facing shelves or stocking bananas but I tend to be too slow and detailed. They say I work well but just a bit slower. For the most part I'm unemployable and had difficulty all my life surviving in jobs.
  44. 1 point
    @Dr-David-Banner Do you have dyscalculia? I read in another post you said something like "to those of you who have dyscalculia..." so that's where my question stems from.
  45. 1 point
    If I could think of occasions where something it was asking me had happened, I put 'slightly...' and if it was something that was a problem for me, I put 'strongly...' but perhaps I should have disregarded things happening only a couple of times... but then I would have to put the opposite, and that's not true, either.
  46. 1 point
    Linguistics is indeed a fascinating arena. However, its also a hugely vast area. So imagine, telling every English speaking beginner this sort of thing, I presume that you'd be telling them thousands of word connections. A small minority might be endlessly interested, but most would loose interest eventually.
  47. 1 point
  48. 1 point
    At the moment, I have to ask the question whether bonds with animals are much deeper than with people. To me it definitely feels the bond with an animal is pretty much permanent and based around the stuff that really matters - and not circumstances. I can't say I particularly envy the people I know who themselves feel their bond with another person is their world. Honestly I lose count of the number of times these relationships fragment. If it's a physical relationship, so often one or the other partner will find someone else. Or grow apart. Neither do I envy my friends' relationships. Todays "best friends" I find become yesterdays news. Even beyond that, I sense my own friends tended to like to phone me up to discuss their own problems. I don't mind that but have to wonder if it's more supportive thing than a real bond. In short, I will choose animals any day of the week. They love unconditionally. They see you as you really are. They are always there for you. They yearn to be understood but most people don't leave sufficient space inside to let them in.
  49. 1 point
    I know because I have a different way of thinking than most people. I constantly want to know what will happen next (I don't like the unknown). I constantly want to know how things work, everywhere I go. I overanalyze situations. Some situations I could think of for a while, years even. I store a lot of information in my brain. That's what I have for now.
  50. 1 point