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      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here.  

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 09/17/2017 in all areas

  1. 6 points
    'Clubs' are a new feature for the forum, and I thought I'd do a quick post to let you know how it works. Head over to: http://asperclick.com/clubs/ to take a look - you can start your own club (I've started a photography club), and you can choose how that club is run to an extent. Once I've approved the club you, as the owner of the club, will be able to*: pin and unpin content hide and unhide content move content lock and unlock content delete content split and merge content *within clubs which you are admin of only. So it'll be kind of like running your own sub-forum of Asperclick and I won't be using any of my admin capabilities on your clubs beyond me initially approving it. Fun ideas which I thought might be nice are things like a book club or a film club, you could start the club and then when you have members you could agree upon a book or a film which you would all read or watch and then discuss together. Or a debate club etc., just think back to the clubs at high school or what hobbies you have etc., and go from there! Hope you enjoy this - I'm quite excited to see where it will go! Willow
  2. 6 points
    I hope you feel better soon. It is hard to break the cycle of negativity. Try to think of even one thing you are thankful for. Happiness starts with being happy with what you have in the present, even if it feels like you don't have enough. Also, remember, it always feels like other people have it better, but everyone goes through troubles. I hope you find things to be happy about soon.
  3. 6 points
    A person's hobbies or interests does not determine their intelligence or intellect. Stating that people on the Autistic Spectrum aren't typically empathetic, is a very narrow minded viewpoint, usually reserved for those who have little to no understanding of Autism. There are many generous, philanthropist footballers, that have given millions to various charities.
  4. 6 points
    I had my interview today. Honestly, it wasn't as bad as interviews I've had in the past, but I have a feeling I didn't get the job. It's okay though. One of my friends had an interview for the same job today, and she said that she didn't think hers went very well either, so I don't feel too bad about it. At least I tried.
  5. 5 points
    This is something I wanted to say, particularly to any young Aspies who are feeling particularly lost, confused or alone. A state in which I am very familiar. I've come to the point in my life, that I actually am very pleased with who and what I am. I have no problem with having Aspergers, and in a way, I'm proud. I find myself in a sort of middle ground. I've noticed there are some Aspies who are of this mindset:" I am what I am and I shouldn't have to change for stupid NTs and their backwards world". I've also noticed Aspies who are of this mindset: " How do I fit in? How is it done? I just wanna make friends, I just want to fit in, tell me what to do, help, help!" I'm right in between, because as far as fitting into the NT world, I want to insofar as that it benefits me. There's no getting around the fact that sometimes you need other people to get things done, and most of those people are NTS who need the world to make sense and be neat and tidy in their judgments throughout the day. I'm past analyzing it, NTs out in the world help civilization function, and that benefits me, so I push myself to fit in so long as it benefits me. But I don't consider it to be changing myself, I consider it to be another tool in my toolbox. And when I see Aspies struggling to fit in and be like NTs, I have the tendency to want to pull them aside and say,"the more desperate you are, the further they'll push you away." They're pack animals. If you're acting weak, they'll see you as weak, and they'll distance themselves. If you embrace who and what you are with no shame and no need of their approval, you will often come across as an alpha, and you'll have their allegiance. But do you really want it? I just wonder sometimes, if Aspies really want to be like NTs, or if they just want it to be easier, so it makes sense to say they want to fit in. Don't get me wrong, I remember wanting to fit in when I was a kid. But looking back, it was never truly that I wanted to fit in, I just wanted less confrontation. I don't like the idea that an Aspie is feeling some pressure from someone or some situation that's causing them to try to mutilate who they are in order to "fit in". What is fitting in, anyway? It's fleeting, for one thing. And doesn't have nearly the amount of meaning and sentiment young Aspies think. Don't try to fit in because you think there's love to be found in it. Fit in only so long as it benefits your day-to-day life. That's my opinion, anyway. In my own experience, the more I've tried to fit in, the more unhappy I became. The more I've just let myself be free to be me, the happier I am. And for the most part, people either like me or don't. And as it happens, any time someone has not liked me, they're not interesting in any way, so it doesn't matter. If you ever managed to change yourself to fit in, you'd be living in a cage of your own creation. Know how to function in their silly little world, but at the end of the day, know who you are and love it. The words happiness and love are so misused and misunderstood. No one is responsible for my happiness. And love is not the same as attachment. Happiness is not something you go off on an adventure to find, it's already in your possession. It is there, ripe for the plucking, every moment of every day. And love is found at the center: orbiting you is all the debris left behind from relationships gone wrong, all the little hurts and failures that left scars and misalignments. But none of that is real, and none of it is you. The only you lies at the very center, untouched by worldly affairs. And all that you are is love. In case you were wondering who you are.
  6. 5 points
    It may be that with football comes along teams, scores, league tables, numbers etc which (as data) appeals to the autistic mind in a similar manner to timetables, train/bus numbers, telephone directories etc. Also that most sports in general have rules and structure which also appeals
  7. 4 points
    @Biker1 I do get the statement of not being a fan of people. I've said that many times in a similar enough way to you. And analyzing, I think it's because I've had so many negative experiences with people and because I'm an introvert. However, seeing how I'm here on this forum, I can say that statement is only true to some extent or could be rephrased because I do talk to some people and I genuinely care about others. Some people, I've found, even if they are very few, are nice and genuinely care. I don't really know what advice to give you or what else to say, but I also hope you feel better.
  8. 4 points
    My long term memory is phenomenal. My short term memory is not. I'll forget I wrote this post in about ten minutes time, and then I'll be surprised when I receive a notification for it. The more active your mind, the more you have to forget. Your brain just goes on auto-delete.
  9. 4 points
    I think that this anxiety or uncertainty is a part of autism, as we don;t always know where we stand with other people and where we fit into the world.
  10. 4 points
    Its sad to see Aspies being judgementful towards other Aspies just because of interests We are all different people, like @Nesf said not every Aspie is going to be into trains spotting maths and computers I feel (and its a shame) that you are trying to single them Aspies out, you mention about being singled out in team sports in school, yeah loads of Aspies was, even me.....but now your doing the exact same has them popular people
  11. 4 points
    Just the other day I was listening to a well known philosopher on the internet who was very judgemental when it comes to people who commit suicide. He said everyone who ever committed suicide was, as he put it, an "asshole". Reason being that in his eyes suicidal people just need to stop "bitching" and seek out the help they need. It was pretty ignorant. The guy apparently doesn't know what he's talking about. He went on about having contempt for people who ended their lives. He basically gave them all the finger which was pretty disgusting. He went on about how it was selfish as the people who the deceased had been close to would suffer due to it for the rest of their lives. So basically what he says is that no one can commit suicide because it's inconsiderate to the people you're close to which sounds like grade school level philosophy to me. I'm pretty sure that if this "philosopher" ever became suicidal himself he'd see that he's seeing it all wrong. Roxy, I have been through a suicidal period in my life and I think that it's very important to keep going even though it may seem like there is no hope. Ok? You don't strike me as someone who's on the verge of jumping off the Golden gate bridge. Being unhappy can be fixed. You just need the right information, for instance. Or you need to adjust the way you perceive things. Find out what is most important to you. Some people end up in a situation where there is no hope. I'm reminded of a guitarist who was euthanized after ending up in a situation where he would have to stay in bed the rest of his life attached to some machine. Unless you are in a situation like that I'd say keep fighting. It's kind of like this... You want to go somewhere but you look around you and you see no way of getting there. And you and look and you look...and you kind of get exhausted and you might get frustrated and you might start thinking there is no point and you start giving up. Say you were to give up... It would be pretty sad if there actually WAS a way to get there but you just didn't see it. So you'd end up having given up while all you needed to do was take a few steps in a certain direction. The way to a happier life exists. Ok? Just try to relax, talk to people, keep your chin up and find out what that is. Find something to do. I'm sure you've got things you're passionate about. Find out what those things are and focus on those things. It's very gratifying to achieve success in your chosen field. Contribute something. Go start a restaurant. Make people happy. Go to medical school. Find a cure for cancer. Become an artist. Go work in construction. They sorely need people in construction. And so forth. Break free from the suffocating mist of depressing mentalities and do something worthwhile.
  12. 4 points
    Suicide is never selfish or even wrong, but it is not the answer to your problems. You need to reach out and get the right help, from professionals really if you're at the point of thinking about suicide. You need to go to a doctor and tell them how you're really feeling, if you haven't already.
  13. 3 points
    I think generally as Aspies we have difficulties with interpretations and prefer very clear rules and distinctions. I used to work as a teacher and the sort of issues you mention are ones I've encountered many times and I understand your frustration. Whether students are too loud depends so much on the context, e.g. the activity they're doing, start or end of a lesson or the school day. It's not easy to judge what level is right except to be guided by whether the noise level allows the best conditions for learning and doesn't impinge on other classes. The optimum noise level though isn't silence or even quiet except for certain tasks. As much as possible you can be guided by what you see and hear in other lessons and what students and teachers say but that again is only an approximate guide as expectations and preferences can differ so much. I would ask your students and staff about whether they feel sound levels are OK and to let you know if they think they aren't. What isn't right is if no-one tells you or undermines you as the teacher who came into your room did. If she or he felt the sound was too loud this could have been tactfully mentioned to you afterwards. I hope you get some clearer guidelines and things get better for you.
  14. 3 points
    It's logical that the students are going to be a bit noisy while packing up to go home, one can expect that. Perhaps the other teacher hadn't finished his lesson yet, or is very strict. Does the school you work at have a bell? If so, it's probably best to keep them quiet until the bell goes, after that it's the offical end of the period and no one can really complain about the noise.
  15. 3 points
  16. 3 points
  17. 3 points
    The first new TheAnMish video has appeard in nearly a year. Apparently she is now very busy, and that's why she hasn't posted much.
  18. 3 points
    Actually, I think I ought to apologise to the football group and maybe then start afresh. I hope they carry on and enjoy that thread. The lesson is appearances can be deceptive. Football may well be a minority here but just lots of posts among a small group. In my case The Beatles is close to a special interest and yet this was a hugely popular group (even more so than football). The downside is I don't live in 1967. Anyway for the record, I do offer apologies to anyone who got offended. Added to that I liked football better in the days of Gordon Banks who lived locally. Most sports I liked in an earlier era. For example I hate modern boxing but loved the Tyson era.
  19. 3 points
    Courses are often suggested as a good way to make new friends or social contacts and that can happen sometimes but probably more often for the neurotypical members rather than those with AS. At least you've tried this course Rainbow and it's possible other ones might be more successful with students and teachers who are more on your wavelength. Gone Home is right that it's best not to expect too much from courses - perhaps focus more on what you can get out of them in terms of skills and knowledge and look upon any social benefits as a bonus.
  20. 3 points
    Thats always been my experience when I have tried college or courses ... If I tried again I think I would just try and be more self contained and expect less from other attendees. Hope you manage the last 3 sessions. Fitting in isn't everything
  21. 3 points
    @Dr-David-Banner Seeing as I started that thread I feel I have a right to say something on this matter. Primarily, you have started numerous threads which have I no interest in and yet I have never said a word because I have no issue with that. You should show more respect to the interests of others.
  22. 3 points
    There's no set rule as to what an autistic person may or may not be interested in - that sounds like stereotyping to me. We aren't all into trains or computers or maths. I keep hearing how people with Asperger's are supposed to be some sort of maths genius that never stops talking and can't learn foreign languages, but I suck at maths, am good at learning foreign languages, and don't talk much. We are all individual people and what we are interested in is a product of our environment and our personality. Actually, lots of people on the spectrum are into sports. I don't know whether it is true or not, but I've heard that Lionel Messi is on the spectrum. I'm not into sports either, and find them boring. Watching sports on TV is basically entertainment, a spectacle, and you don't learn anything. I guess I need/value information and knowledge over entertainment. I have been to a couple of football matches, but it didn't do much for me.
  23. 3 points
    You need hard evidence (legal recordings, documentation) to challenge an organisation - being realistic it will cause you stress as they will likely defend themselves and you need to work out if its worth it. They may just label you as the problem I would guess highlighting things with the management would be a first step. There is alot of bad behaviour against vulnerable people in social care. I've found that where there is bad behaviour there is always a chain of people in the hierarchy supporting it or covering it up. I hope things improve
  24. 3 points
    If it was just a one off comment, just try to forget about it. They probably weren't thinking when they said it, maybe just really busy with their job. But, the 'lower functioning' people aren't stupid either. Nobody is.
  25. 3 points
    My interest in jazz lies mainly in jazz fusion, which has some overlap with progressive rock. While exploring progressive rock, I also delved into jazz fusion/jazz rock, and came to appreciate the work of artists such as Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock, Mahavishnu Orchestra, or artists with strong jazz influences such as Modry Efekt, If, Blood, Sweat and Tears, Frank Zappa, and artists which combine jazz and ethnic styles, like Arco Iris, Mekaal Hasan Band or Lot Lorien.
  26. 3 points
    Again, even native speakers have accents, but they are different from what those who learn a foreign language as an adult have and sometimes each other, but there are ways to tell a non-specific native accent from a non-specific non-native accent. And as a child, it actually takes some time to train your muscles to produce all the sounds in your own language. And even some native speakers have "accents" in their own language, for example speech impediments. And actually, could it be that you, due to Asperger's syndrome, speak a little differently from other native speakers? The difficulty that most foreign students have with [th] isn't just because the sound doesn't exist in their native language. It may just be harder than any sound in their own language. It is the sound that English aquiring children master last and a certain portion of native English speakers, including many on the spectrum, never learn to say it at all.
  27. 3 points
    Its almost impossible for someone speaking a language other than their native one without their native accent getting through. I'm native English and can speak French with quite a good French accent. To most English people I sound French, but most French people can tell I'm English. I'd love to speak with an unmistakeable French accent but I think I'd need to become quite obsessive about reaching the goal. If I mastered such whilst living in France, my English speech patterns would probably start to come out sounding quite bizarre.
  28. 3 points
    I guess all kinds of things happen relative to stress levels experienced. I think you could relate these symptoms to autism but everyone will deal with stress differently ... some may just shut down. Releasing anger in a different way? ... Exercise in any form, getting out for a change of environment, or a new intelectual or physical challenge can focus the energy, but suppose its preferable if you don't get angry. Difficult I agree, as sometimes it can be hard to know exactly what the stressors are that you can influence. I find I have to be careful what I get into ... as I get too into it. You could research meditation ... it can be a game changer when it comes to dealing with life. I've certainly experienced what you describe and these periods do pass. Situational stress is something that will need dealing with for life so ... I find it can be useful to deliberately make relaxation / switch off time - as otherwise I forget to relax
  29. 3 points
    Ich spreche kein Deutsch, aber ich habe Google übersetzt, um diesen Satz zu schreiben. Ich hoffe es klingt nicht so schlecht
  30. 3 points
    Ich habe an der Universitat uber vier jahre Deutsch gelernt. Auch habe ich i.m Frankreich Deutsch gelernt. Es war sehr seltsam. Vielleicht nach Achtzehn Jahre habe ich viel Deutsch gelost, aber es scheint mir nicht so schlecht aber mit viel Fehlen.
  31. 3 points
    That's true I agree. Our definition of success has to be different to NT's.. our potential has a different ceiling. We can overcome and outdo ourselves, but you can't measure us against NT's in terms of saying it's a failure not getting a job, relationship etc.
  32. 3 points
    I deal with depression by keeping myself busy, giving myself small projects to work on such as tagging music files, giving myself small treats. Over the years I've learned that most people are basically selfish, they look after themselves first and then look to other people if it suits them. I keep myself to myself and don't expect much from people so I don't get disappointed.
  33. 3 points
    I love when you say you want to show love and open up because the word needs more of that, more good people that care and love others for no matter who they are. ☺ It may be really really hard to except the fact that you are not alone, but even here on the forum people are here to be supportive and are part of an aspergers family. And there are us in the world who would want to be friends. So Don't give up. I've been there on those days where it is so dark I just think about hanging myself. But then I deprive myself of all the beauty I will miss in the world. Like the kind people such as yourself. From a friend ☺ And your not weird your different, be proud of that
  34. 3 points
    @Roxy I don't know whether suicide is selfish but I would not like to come across a body. I doubt its something that can be forgotten. For that reason I would be reluctant to end things early. I can relate to a lot of what you said .... but .... I don't think suicide is a good idea. Your feelings have no choice but to change with time as life is fluid. Rather than focusing on what appears to be missing - I think its better to review what you have got - and decide what you will do with it. Don't push yourself for no reward ... diminishing returns just end in total exhaustion / burn out. Alot of negativity / depression is a symptom of stress. Stress may be deemed situational ... ie: remove oneself from the situation, change the situation, forget the situation if its a useless drain on mental resources. Focus on activities that improve sanity. The more content and solid you are in yourself, the more likely you will attract what you wish for. We all have to live in hope and try and make the best out of what resources we have. I hope things begin to turn around and change for the better
  35. 2 points
    We all speak different languages in this club. So, I've had an idea so that each of us can get something out of each other. Basically, each new post is for a new foreign word, but we'll go progressively through the alphabet. It is OK to skip a letter if you can't find a word meaning with a particular letter, e.g., Q. If you can't find a word beginning with Z, its fine to go back to A and start again. The word chosen should be a foreign one of a language of your choice and also translated into English. Please only post one new word at a time so others can take part. I also encourage, people to reply with a translation into another language. If we're a few letters along, its still fine to reply with a few translations in one go, for example, f, g, h, but please keep within one post. OK, I'll start Avion (French) = Aeroplane
  36. 2 points
    I wouldn't worry about this PandaPrincess - I think you did the right thing at the time. If you are a new teacher in a school such as a substitute teacher it is best to precisely follow the instructions of other teachers unless it's an emergency such as a student who is very clearly ill. It is far better to be too strict in these cases than too lenient. Students can sometimes "test" a teacher by asking to go to the bathroom and agreeing to it unless it's plainly essential can be seen as a sign of the teacher being a "soft touch" and lead to them pushing other rules. If you're uncertain of the policy in a gym lesson you should ask other people who teach gym on what they do - or if they're not available some other senior teacher - but if you've been advised by another teacher not to let the students go out it is safest to follow that advice. You could even tell the students they can bring bottles of water to the lesson if you're worried they might get thirsty or tell them to drink enough beforehand but the safest policy is to check on what other gym teachers do.
  37. 2 points
    Yeah, it's not fail safe. But I do find that people tend to respond well to genuity and sense another person's sense of self. A lot of it is about attitude and how you carry yourself. There have been ideas I've expressed to NTs that they don't get on board with, but I can still get away with a degree of deviance without it alienating me or causing social problems. But truth be told, it's possible they all talk about how weird I am when I'm not around, I just really don't mind. It's their right to do so and doesn't need to change me. And that's the attitude people respond well to. It makes people feel stable and comfortable to be around someone who is stable and comfortable with who they are. And the other thing is that NTs have oddities and whimsies too, they're just afraid to express them for fear of rejection. When you express your own it sometimes encourages them to do the same and that's how bonds are created. But that's another topic. 😀
  38. 2 points
    Good to see you back Eliza. I've certainly done similar things and for similar reasons and I'm sure many other people have done the same. When we go through difficult times in our lives we may not want others to know - perhaps we feel a sense of embarrassment - and shutting ourselves away, maybe until things pick up again, is a tempting response. However sometimes it is good to talk about our situation to supportive people and they can help, whether it's just offering a sympathetic ear or offering some practical advice or support. Asperclick is always a good place to talk but there will be people in your everyday life who can help although I know it's not always easy to let them know we're going through difficult times. I think the most important thing aside from talking to people is to get your mind occupied. Getting a new job - even if it's just a few hours a week or for a short-time or volunteering - can help you get over the loss of the previous one and it gives you something to do. If a new job isn't available try to find some other activity that - ideally - you enjoy and which refocuses your mind from your problems. I hope things are better for you soon.
  39. 2 points
    So do you want friends/family? Do you think they are better than 'other' people? I'm not having a go or anything I suppose in some ways they are better than other people but perhaps because you hold them to a higher standard they can also let you down very easily too. I'm not really sure how you manage to have no friends at all, they tend to force their way into my life and while I am completely shit at keeping in touch they tend to reach out to me every so often to keep things going, I suppose it can be done but it must require some real effort to push everyone away. I am going to assume you have a motor bike, how the hell do you go out on that without meeting other bikers? You pull over for a smoke within 10 minutes you have 6 friends (on a nice day), you pop in the shop you got 4 admirers by the time you get back to the bike, it doesn't even really matter what bike it is, it could be a bandit, a harley or a CBR. Does being jobless at this time of year bother you... cause I have to say this time of year is one of the easiest to find work if you're not fussy, perhaps you could even do some volunteering? Plenty of charities and soup kitchens crying out for help as the winter comes in, especially if you don't have family commitments over the festive period. I assume you are on benefits so volunteering won't interfere with that but it will get you up and out and around people and seeing mostly that there is some good in the world but also perhaps that some people have it a lot worse than you... even if you can't face doing that maybe next time you see a homeless dude stop and give him a smoke but instead of walking off chat to him while he smokes it, you never know you might make a friend but even more than that it might snap you out of your slump to realise no matter what you think you are not alone on this earth, even if you wish you were you're life still impacts others. What I'm trying to say is that your life is your own and only you are responsible for it but you must have made a big effort to exclude everyone from it and if you regret that, well it is very easy to let people back in, you could start here online... feel free to PM me anytime, or you could go meet people at a volunteer place, colleagues will quickly become friends and as long as you don't push them all away eventually a friend will either become or introduce you to family. It just so happens that I am at a bit of a lose end this year for Christmas and I am thinking about maybe going to help out at a soup kitchen or some such. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by praising apathy... if we are truly apathetic we wouldn't have answered at all, but I do think it can be difficult for us to know what you need to hear, it's a pretty tough title and post, we don't want to say anything to make you feel worse, but we don't really know you well enough to help.
  40. 2 points
    Maybe you should set some guidelines in your classroom. Like the students can talk, but not be too loud. Maybe you can use the 6 inch voices method? I think I remember teachers using it on me in the classroom or I can't remember if I used it on students. That's why I can't remember very well how it goes, but what I'm trying to say is use a method where they know what it means by you just saying the name of the method. Some teachers I guess might be quiet towards the end or maybe class doesn't end until the bell rings, whatnot. At first when I read your post, I thought that maybe she likes her classroom quiet, but that doesn't mean you have to also keep yours quiet, after all, it is your classroom. I don't have experience with the logistics of running an 8-3pm classroom so I don't really know how that works. But, I think if other teachers start complaining then you will have to lower it down at least a little maybe because neighboring classrooms are like having a roommate. Like a good roommate would be mindful of their roommate and whatnot while remembering they also have to get their own things done. Like be mindful of them, but also be mindful of you. To be honest, I think that teacher went a bit overboard if she raised her voice like that. There's no need for that. She could have told you at least without raising her voice. Doing what she did, I believe should not be the way to get someone to stop or start doing something. I wish you could carry and manage your classroom however you want. You can't always please everyone. What do you mean by they will think you're being over dramatic? Do you mean that if you responded to their assumptions with the real reason, they'll think you're being over dramatic? I can relate to wanting to explain myself because I don't like being misjudged. Could you ask a teacher who seems nice and non-judgmental what are their guidelines in their classroom? Like for them what is considered too loud? etc. Would that be okay to do? I believe this is a learning process and people learn from others. I remember I had teachers who'd meet with other more experienced teachers and they'd get ideas from them.
  41. 2 points
    Native speaking pronunciation of English varies widely, but if a non-native speaker hasn't fully mastered it fully, one can tell from their accent that English is not their native language, but why is that? What is the difference between native and non-native accents and what's the explanation for that? *One is staccato talking. Native speakers of continental European languages often sound as if they put pauses between syllables when speaking English, and I believe they aren't the only ones who do it. You don't get that in native accents in English. *All native accents in English distingish between [v] and [w], most other languages don't make this distiction. Take for example, the words 'west' and 'vest'. Pronouncing <w> as [v] or <v> as [w] or mixing them up marks one as non-native speaking. *The distinction between the TRAP vowel and the DRESS vowel is also standard, even though the pronunciation of each of those two vowels varies between native accents. *Most but not all native accents have the two [th] sounds. And in ones that don't, it either becomes a flat [d], or an [f]. Some Irish do pronounce it like [t] or [d] in all positions. Pronouncing the <th> like [ s] or [z] is distinctly foreign. Native speakers from some English speaking countries and areas may say one of the following: *Wot's da madda wiv dat/'at red bed? [Afro-American Engilsh or Pittsburghese] *Wot's the metta with thet rid bid? [New Zealand and South Africa] *Wot's the mutta with thaht radd badd? [Certain regional accents in England] Native speakers from some places pronounce the <r> in all positions, others only pronounce it only at the beginning of a syllable - including between vowels. There are a few native accents with a trilled <r>, at least at the beginning of a syllable. But 'Vot's ze metta viz zet red bed' is distinctly foreign sounding.
  42. 2 points
    I haven't heard of any link between autism and dementia/Altzheimer's... in fact, I think that the opposite is true, that people with active brains tend not to get dementia or Altzheimer's. Sleep deprivation can impact health, though, it's important to try and rest in the evening and get enough sleep. Memory loss can be caused by a number of different reasons, and isn't necessarily permanent. It can be caused by stress/trauma (PTSD), depression, sleep deprivation, medication, alcohol/substance abuse, hormonal changes - if you're not sleeping well, that is probably contributing to it.
  43. 2 points
    @Dr-David-Banner thank you for saying sorry, i appericate it and im glad you accept that people can be intrested in anything they want
  44. 2 points
    I think the fact that football is a very popular activity which "appeals to the masses" doesn't make it somehow of lower value. Some things that are popular may appeal to the lowest common denominator but others are popular because they are genuinely good and deservedly resonate with many people. The Beatles were remarkably popular - does their mass appeal mean they should be avoided in order to not be "one of the crowd"? Popularity and quality are not inversely related. It's important to follow the things we like without consideration of whether they are popular / unpopular or critically respected / denigrated. Some people with AS are drawn to more unusual interests and there's nothing wrong with that but there's equally nothing wrong with them following more popular activities. You make a good point about how football could / can be used to judge children at schools. It's certainly true that many children have miserable experiences of being the last to be selected for football or other sports, or of their lack of sporting ability being mocked. That may turn some of these children off but many of them do still enjoy sport. Mostly they still enjoy watching it but some find some other way to play the game, e.g. with their friends, or return to team sports as an adult in a more mature and supportive environment. Children realise that the problem is not in the sport - which may be very enjoyable - but in the behaviour and attitudes of other children.
  45. 2 points
    I agree. Imagine if in real life people had their thumbs either up or down during a conversation ... its a form of distracting peer pressure ...
  46. 2 points
    Like many people when i was growing up I only really listened to chart music, i.e. pop and rock. As a late teenager and young adult my musical interests started to specialise and deepen, principally into soul music of which I am still a great devotee. There is a crossover between soul and funk into jazz funk and i became interested in some of these sounds. That widened into soulful jazz fusion. After a while this enveloped jazz rock, most notably via the work of Miles Davis and early Weather Report. Then came an interest in the much more challenging and experimental "free jazz" such as Archie Shepp and Pharoah Sanders. Ultimately i started to explore some more mainstream jazz sounds. My jazz preferences still largely comprise a twenty year period from the mid-1950s and the onset of hard bop through to the mid-1970s. The earlier and later periods don't really appeal to me although i haven't heard much mainstream jazz from the last few decades. While there may be some big fans of jazz on Asperclick it would also be interesting to hear the thoughts of those who perhaps only like the crossover material or perhaps particular artists / collaborations. Jazz has been very influential, even if that influence sometimes slips under the radar.
  47. 2 points
    Omg - even more than me!! ?
  48. 2 points
    Usually "hallo". That's the formal one commonly in use. If you wanted to ask someone something you could say "Hallo, kan ik u wat vragen?" which basically translates to "Hello, could I ask you something?". That way you keep distance and you show respect. Often times people then right away indicate that you don't need to be so formal but it's best to be sure! Also "u" is very formal. It's "you" in English but the type of "you" where it's "Could I ask you something, sir?" and thus rather formal. Less formal would be "jou" or "je". Kan ik je wat vragen? Kan ik jou wat vragen? Jou especially is very informal. Best not to use that in public. I'll post an audio clip of me speaking Dutch next week or so. Basic Dutch. Dutch for beginners.
  49. 2 points
    I feel better since I didn't go to my volunteering today I think my way of dealing with my depression and loneliness is to shut myself off from the world and I can cope.. it's less painful. Anyone relate to that?
  50. 2 points
    Probably worth mentioning that a new club can't have any discussions until this is enabled separately. I didn't realise this at first as it was not intuitive at all, and I would've missed it completely if someone hadn't sent me a private message to say that they couldn't post in the club. To do this: Click on "Manage Club" and then click on "Topics". Click on "Save". I'm assuming that you can choose different names and descriptions but I'm still not completely sure how to use all of this.
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