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      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here.  


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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/13/2013 in Posts

  1. 31 points
    I like to be friends with everyone. Even those who have traits which I greatly dislike. That said, I dislike 3 main groups #1 People who believe they are absolutely right and do not consider the possibility of being wrong. I constantly avoid being that kind of person. This is why, even when I *believe* I am totally and completely right, I still try to avoid making comments as "This is the way it is"... I rather go with "I think it is this way" and leave a door open for discussion. #2 People who lie. I can't stand people who constantly lie. If I can't tell the truth, or do not wish to tell the truth, I'll rather don't say anything. #3 People who think they are better than you. I have a friend that, even tho is a good person, mostly, suffers from this. You can't ever tell this person that you bought something. It doesn't matter what you bought, a pair of pants, new car tires, or a cellphone. He will always tell you that either "you paid too much", or "you bought an inferior product" and that "you should have consulted with him first". So annoying.
  2. 24 points
    So, as the title says, I managed to get over a massive fear yesterday (or even a small handful); namely, being in a room full of people I barely know, and loud music... all in aid of being at my aunt's vow renewal with my uncle. It was a wonderful day, and I met more of my father's side of the family... and I seem to prefer them to most of my mother's side already. I'm really damn proud of myself, and I did it all for my aunt - I'm rather close with my dad and aunts. EDIT: I have a feeling I may have posted this in the wrong area.
  3. 18 points
  4. 18 points
    Just wanted to tell you all that, after a very long, hard road, my book is finally complete! It's release date is the 2nd April (World Autism Awareness Day). It's around 70,000 words long (376 pages). The foreword is written by the lovely Liane Holliday Willey, EdD and I am very honored that she was able to do this for me! Also, to run alongside the book, there will be an interactive timeline, which will consist of various videos, photographs, letters and artwork that fit with each chapter. This will be available within the next week. http://www.willowhope.com/products/the-other-side-living-with-aspergers-syndrome I wrote this book to try and help other people with Asperger Syndrome, and their families. I hope that my experiences and the way I have dealt with situations will guide others so that they can further understand themselves, feel less alone, and hopefully go about getting the help they need – whether that’s a diagnosis, or just ways to cope as a person on the spectrum, in a world full of people who see things differently. I talk about my childhood and how that fits into place and makes sense to me now that I am diagnosed. I also speak about my struggles through school and my teenage years, and how this was the most difficult time in my life, but was also when I found out I was on the spectrum. I then go on to talk about my partner and my new life with him; my various projects on raising awareness of the Autistic Spectrum and how I have learnt to cope with being an Aspie living in a normal world. “WillowHope, like many people on the autism spectrum, is a visual thinker. She can peek back to her earliest memories and bring them to life with detail and elaboration as fresh and vivid as a sharply taken photograph. WillowHope’s story is like her name, filled with hope. She expresses her memories with articulate thoughts that bring the reader into the world of Asperger syndrome and autism.” – from the foreword by Liane Holliday Willey Publish Date: 2nd April 2014 (Autism Awareness Day) Category: Self Help | Asperger Syndrome | Autobiography ISBN: 978-0-9927847-5-1 Pages: 376 Author: WillowHope Foreword: Liane Holliday Willey
  5. 18 points
    So I was officially diagnosed yesterday My psychologist said I ticked pretty much all of the boxes for Aspergers Syndrome and that they already knew I had it from my initial assessment. She is sending the final report to me and my GP at the end of this week (I've already seen the draft copy though) and she is also writing me a mini report for my boss outlining that I struggle on the phones and stuff. They've referred me to an occupational therapist who is looking forward to meeting me, as she specialises in the sensory side of AS and apparently I am very sensory. I think I'm feeling every emotion at the moment. But mainly I'm happy and relieved that I finally have my diagnosis
  6. 16 points
    I guess this is more aimed at those who don't have a diagnosis. And really, my first question would be, how did you come to the conclusion that you have Aspergers? Then from that, are you getting a formal diagnosis? And if so, what will happen if they say you don't have Aspergers? But for those of you with a diagnosis, do you ever worry that it is a mis diagnosis? Either because you just feel it doesn't fit, or because you sometimes look at how other people are and worry that you're coping better so maybe you don't have it? I sometimes think that I've 'grown out' of Aspergers, until I realise that I've just learnt to cope better as I've gotten older. Though, mostly that's due to isolating myself in my home with Chris, or just on my own when he's at work. And as for going out, I rarely get out of my car unless it's somewhere I know won't be busy, or I'm familiar with it.
  7. 16 points
    ... At a time! Despite the name of the thread, this is not about the song "One Little Victory" by Rush. No, this is much more serious (and not about music.) I realise that I've never formally introduced myself on the forum. And I also don't think I've ever posted the story of how I was diagnosed, at least not publicly. I won't go too much into either. And I won't talk about how the Danish education system works either, even though it's a part of this story. I will however, talk about what has happened to me in my life these past 5 years. The good and the bad. I'm posting this (even though it might be utter rubbish, or you might not care) because I feel that it might give some of you hope. Or at least something to read when you're bored... In fact, you may want to grab a snack, as it's going to be a long one! Going back to my childhood, I've always known I was different in some way. I couldn't understand some of the things that happened around me, and I didn't feel that I fitted in. I also remember clear signs of anxiety in my childhood. But not knowing I had Asperger's was the worst part. My parents divorced when I was 5 or 6, and I guess that left a scar on me as well. Let's have a look at my life about 5 years ago in 2010. I was 15 years old, I had just had a mental breakdown, and I stopped going to school. This was mainly because of bullying and being completely fed up with sitting in a noisy classroom with 30 other students. So I quit. Bad decision? Maybe. Maybe not. But one thing's for sure: I couldn't take another day, let alone stay another minute. I was severely depressed and anxious all the time, suicidal, and half a year later I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, Social- and Generalised Anxiety Disorder, plus severe depression. I was basically scraping the bottom of the poo barrel (not literally though!) I was offered meds for anxiety and depression, which I gladly accepted. I tried a few different ones, and eventually settled on a combination of meds that helped me, even though they had heavy side-effects. A year passed where I stayed home, being miserable and close to a psychosis. I was terrified of leaving my mother's apartment. I was basically a hermit. Leaving my home was literally painful, not to mention just living in general. Think a constant 10 on the anxiety scale, when I was outside. Now, don't ask me how, but somehow I found one little glimpse of hope in the distance. It only took a whole year. That little speckle of hope and will to fight, led me to start at a new school in a class with only a couple of students, in order to finish my exams. They all had either Asperger's or anxiety, or both. Starting at a new place in my condition.. Well, it wasn't easy. Far from it. This was actually one of the toughest periods of my life. But soon I discovered that the teachers there, were the kindest and most understanding teachers I've ever had. Not to mention the students who were all lovely too. That helped me through a lot, knowing that no matter how much I hated being there, there were people who I cared about, and who cared about me. I only needed 1 more year before my exams, but it took me 2. But despite all the challenges, I managed to complete the exams at last, and with good grades! It's now been almost 2 years since then. So what have I been doing in this time? I've been working on bettering myself. I try to challenge myself, as often as possible, while not overdoing it and burning out. Baby steps, they say! One little victory at a time. I've come so far compared to 2 years ago, and especially 5 years ago. It took lots of time, and A LOT of hard work, but it has definitely paid off. I'm not depressed anymore. My anxiety levels are much more tolerable and I'm feeling better and better all the time, with only the occasional anxiety attack. I go out much more often than I used to now. And the meds I'm taking are working much better than what I used to take. Eventually, I may get off of them I'm also seeing a psychiatrist who specialises in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and she has helped me loads, I have my own mentor who I train various things with, like going various places, etc. I will also *hopefully* start studying again soon. I'm thinking this summer/autumn. So yeah, I'm in a much better (less terrifying) place now, things are finally looking good for me, I have the will to live, and I'm positive about the future (most of the time.) This might not seem so amazing to everyone else, but what I've gone through and how far I've come, really is an achievement to me. But this is only the beginning, and I have so far to go. The battle is never over. So what is the point of this story? Well, my point is really that there is always hope out there. No matter how far down you are, who you are, or where you are from. There's always hope, even if you can't immediately see it. Some people say that "time heals all wounds", and while I think that's true, I also think that you have to work for it. It does get easier with time though. And as much as I hate this saying "No pain, no gain" it's actually true to some extend, in my opinion at least. A wise man once said, that there are people out there who loves you, even if they don't know you yet. Just because you're human. Thanks for reading! ~Alex P.S. If I can do it, then YOU can do it too!
  8. 15 points
    Got married a few weeks ago. I have to say, I feel a heck of a lot more "secure", now that this is an official thing and not just another live-in relationship. Looking back, I had a lot of anxiety and crankiness during the few months before the wedding. I don't know if it was the stress of the event, or probably just fear that she would back-out. Either way, it's all gone now. The best part was just a few minutes before the ceremony... the judge asked if any of our friends or family were going to serve as witnesses. My bride had already chosen her mother to sign as witness, but we didn't ask anybody else. The judge noticed my daughter jumping around and told me: "you know, if your daughter knows how to sign her name, she can be your second witness". I thought a witness had to be a legal adult, my little girl is just 10. "She can??? Oh hell yeah!!". And my daughter's signature is now forever immortalized in my marriage papers. :D
  9. 15 points
    I put a thread up last year about NT hating and why we do it. I might make a few enemies on here for putting this up but I think it's necessary. Please stop blaming NT's for all of your problems. Yes NT's make it hard for us, trust me I know this. I have been bullied my entire life by them and humiliated time and time again. But it is NOT ALL NT's. By writing off people because they aren't an aspie is discrimintation and stereotyping (that's what they all supposedly do to us right?). My point is, yes SOME NT's treat us like shit, but most of them don't know they are doing it and a lot of them are lovable, approachable, friendly, compassionate people who want to understand us and help us. My boyfriend is an NT and he is the most understanding person I have literally ever met in terms of my Aspergers. My mum is NT, my sister is NT as well as a few others and guess what? (You will never believe this!) they are actual decent human beings with the same insecurities we have! Crazy right? *sarcasm* I'm sorry for being like this, I very rarely have rants like this and preach to others, but I'm getting tired of it and I'm getting tired of being public enemy no 1 because I "stick up for the enemy" Keep in mind that a lot of discrimination from their side comes from lack of awareness on Aspergers. Ridiculing them because they are not an aspie is down right ridiculous and treating them badly isn't going to improve their opinion of us. I know what you're thinking, "who the hell is she to tell us what to do?". I'm no one really, I'm just trying to make you stop and think before you encourage hate. If you want to hate anyone, hate me for attempting to be a good person and for getting you to be one too. We are all on the same spectrum people Note: I am not doing this in reference to anything one particular person has said, it is something that I have noticed over time over many discussions and over the course of my lifetime.
  10. 15 points
    Willow, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry that there are such horrible people in the world that they would take the wonderful thing you are trying to do and use it to give you abuse... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2pCEh4tOhw&list=UU2OdMVzzL6SaOKyP0dTcllQ&feature=share&index=7 It is absolutely despicable that people say and act in such a rude and nasty manner to their fellow human beings. And now I want to say Thank You for sticking with it as long as you have, it can't be easy letting the whole world in, I spend almost as much effort keeping it out, I learnt a lot about myself from your videos and when you consider you're more than ten years younger than me that is no small feat and I learnt a lot more coming here to this wonderful haven you provide all of us. So please don't be too disheartened by these ignorant people, what you are doing really does make a difference and help people, perhaps we should speak up more often and drown out those others!
  11. 14 points
    I came across this recently, you might have seen it. I must admit it gave me a pick me up http://everydayaspergers.com/2013/09/08/10-reasons-to-embrace-your-aspergers/
  12. 14 points
    I did it. I'm over all bad stuff that had happened in the past. I was in therapy for more than one year but I finally with it. 2012: I started an education in the health service. I didn't cope at all so I ended up in therapy. I got diagnosed with Aspergers and stopped my career in health service, so I went back to university where I had already studied during one year. It took me a whole year to realize that I can use my strengths better in a different area. When I started university again it was a really tough time. As I was still exhausted from the year before I had a lot of meltdowns and anxiety. But the better I settled in the more my past closed in on me. All kind of memories started to came up. All kind of horrible memories. They made me depressive so I was put on medication for that. They worked, they gave my energy back so my fight with the memories had to continue. It was a very hard time. It was horrible as well and as my energy went down again I decided to postpone my studies a bit so I did no academical work last term. It payed off. It was really hard work but I did it. I have to say I'm proud. And very grateful. I'm fine with my past now. I'm happy again with my parents and siblings. I'm looking forward to my future. I'm thanking to all people who helped me trough that time. And I need to mention this forums as well. Especially Alex's topic (called something like "my little victory" if I remember right) encouraged me a lot. I'm a very impatient person. His story showed me that I need to be patient and take baby steps but that I can put all my energy in those baby steps. Thanks a million Alex. Maybe I can encourage others as well: "You can do it!" Even if your situation fells like it will never ever improve, it can if you put a lot of hard work in it. But don't only work hard, make sure you work clever as well.
  13. 14 points
    I had my diagnosis done and I've got aspergers. I am still the same person. I am just different from others I know.
  14. 14 points
    Please READ this because the more awareness for this the better. I know it's long to read (took me longer to type!) but it's for a good cause: Aspergers falls on the Autistic Spectrum. The current statistic for Autism is 1 in 100 and that's only the people who have received an official diagnosis. I was only diagnosed a couple of months ago and some people don't get noticed until much later in life. It took 9 months for me to get assessed and diagnosed, others as long as a couple of years, some not at all. That should give you an idea on the lack of funding that causes these waiting lists and also the lack of awareness out there. A lot of GP's still don't spot it and misdiagnose us with depression and anxiety disorders without noticing the underlying cause. People with Aspergers are usually very good at hiding it because we try to fit in over the years and mimic others behaviour, however trying to understand other people exhausts us on a social level and usually leads to us isolating ourselves once in a while. Many of us can't hold down jobs due to anxiety. Those that can are often misunderstood in the workplace or struggle with social pressures and sensory issues. I personally struggle maintaining friendships/relationships due to my brain not understanding body language or expression well. I also have sensory issues (bright lights and loud noises) and have been bullied my whole life for being "a bit odd". I find talking about things that don't interest me hard work and can become very obsessed with my own personal interests. I struggle empathising with others which makes it look like I don't care and can often upset people with brutal honesty. These are only a FEW of my traits. PLEASE read this and share. It's suprising how many people don't know what ASD is and as a result, make us feel worthless, stupid and even invisible at times (sometimes unintentionally). So please respect us. Remember, we automatically hide our traits to make your lives easier. We shouldn't have to do this so please be more understanding and accept us for who we are. Thanks. http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/what-is-asperger-syndrome.aspx
  15. 14 points
    The Doctor was really wonderful. She said I obviously have Asperger's. She said it sounds like my children do too, and she suggested hippo therapy! She said that our insurance (Tricare) will pay for it, and there's a therapist who lives really close to us. So we'll all get to go meet horses together! Of course it will take some time for the paperwork to go through, but YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so giddy right now. Today's appointment was really helpful.
  16. 13 points
    I just did this as a blog post, but I'll paste it here incase it helps. I found all these myself, but please add your suggestions
  17. 13 points
    So, after searching for a while (obsessively I must say) about how the traits can be different for girls, I wrote down what I believe can be a lot of my traits/characteristics related to Aspergers. Although I don't have a formal diagnosis and I'm still not 100% sure if I'm truly an Aspie, in my heart I feel I am most of the times for a lot of different reasons when I look at it both emotionally and rationally. My Aspie Traits - social awkwardness (not knowing what is adequate and ok to say or when to say it, not knowing how to carry/to end a conversation, although I've learned to adapt and can do it now, but it can be still really awkward many times) - bluntness (being too direct and not being aware when coming across as rude, arrogant or too blunt - or being aware only afterwards or even days later) - perceiving, understanding and communicating very black and white - being too intense and obsessive with especific interests (spending many hours searching, reading, learning everything that is to know about the same subject. For instance: Languages, Asperger's Syndrome, fully raw diet, parenting, education) - social hangover (feeling extremely tired mentaly and emotionaly after long periods of social interaction) - Not having the need or the urge to socialize or go out much, except with very close ones (if I go out twice a week that's probably enough social interaction and I don't need or feel like wanting more stimuly) - strongly dislike of light touch - quick temper (exploding or feeling an intense rage out of a sudden and without a warning, and cooling down just as quickly) - not having energy and hating small talk, superficial empty tedious talks especialy with people I don't know or don't feel connected to - overthinking and overanalysing everything all the time - being really annoyed by some sort of noises or when there's too much background noise (for example, in crowded places when everybody just talks loud at the same time, it's just too much stimuly to process and I tend to feel really irritated and willing to leave) - having a hard time keeping a job (it can be quite hard having to leave the house every single day at the same time, dealing with the same people constantly which can seem like a contradiction because I feel I like an need a routine, but just having to leave the house when there are days I don't feel like leaving the bed, can be really hard) - enjoying and needing a routine and familiar places that I feel comfortable at - not having too many friends or actually having friends, but only 3 that I trust 100% that they'll let me just be and respect my quirky unique different introvert way of being, the real me (which very few people actually have seen and truly know) - prefering one on one interactions (that way I can really connect with them and we get to know each other, to have deep intelligent badass talks) - dislike going out in groups or engaging conversation with a lot of people at the same time (which I find confusing, superficial, pointless, uninteresting and a waste of time. If I'm with a group of friends I really like and have a connection with, I can enjoy it. But otherwise, I'd prefer to just watch and be quiet and I will enjoy it unless I feel like I have to participate, talk or answer questions) - very creative and imaginative. I have my own world and reality inside my head and life is so much better inside my world than reality (Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there.) - I tend to to everything I can by myself. I love self learning, to taught myself things and I'm good at it. For example: English, French, crafts, learning ideas/concepts and how to dos and succeeding when I try to do it like cutting my hair just by watching videos and such - extremely loyal with strong inner principles that are very important and serious to me - high sensitivity and picking up on others emotions and energies like a sponge - picking up details everyone misses, hidden meanings, abstract ideas - thinking outside the box, coming up with creative solutions - feeling different my whole life, not being able to fit in anywhere (not feeling truly comfortable to be me or really accepted) - although I'm not picky when it comes to food, I can eat the same thing everyday without a problem (like pasta, or like when I was in the hostel in Guarapari. I ate omelete (always prepared the same way: eggs, cheese, tomato, pimenta calabresa and I would eat it with mostarda. I did it for 2 weeks every single day, not noticing it until now) - doing things in a certain order like showering, or the way I walk the stairs when arriving home (taking 2 steps at a time even when tired), doing certain things in a certain way and never changing it, like it feels safe/familiar/predictable - feeling anxious when knowing I'll have to socialize with people I don't know very well or/and in new places I've never been too. Having to prepare myself psychologicaly for that and still feel very anxious, afraid, not comfortable - expressing myself and my thoughts way better on writing, rather than talking - losing track of my thoughts while I'm talking or trying to explain something and forgetting what I was just saying and taking too long getting back to it or not remembering it at all (which difficults a lot talking to unknown people, because of the awkward silences and not being able to have a natural flow on the conversation) - having a really complex mind with thoughts, sub thoughts, sub sub sub thoughts. Constantly making connections and spoting patters in everything and everyone - having a brain that doesn't shut up, is always active, that take in a lot of information/details/subtleties at the same time and can't help to analyse everything all the time (both internaly and externaly). Sees a puzzle in everything and collect the pieces together with time until it makes clear sense - I feel like I adapted so well sometimes that it is actually quite common for me to hear "you, an introvert? But you're such an extrovert!" (No, I'm not, trust me.) That's just an example of how I fake it so well, and how I managed to adapt socially (although I can still be very awkward sometimes) - I prepare myself before going somewhere like I ponder first what I might need/always think ahead (for example, if I know I'll stay out for long, I bring water, think about where I can buy something to eat near where I will be - I hardly ever forget anything from keys to phone, charger, some paper or anything I know I will need that day. I have all planed out so I dont have to worry about it later. It actually saves a lot of energy and it prevents anxiety which is good, because Im already too anxious - having a hard time learning and remembering subjetcs in school that are taught oraly like History and Geografy So, that was HUGE and I apologize for that. I would really like to know how much can you all relate to what I believe are my traits and do you think they all can be related to being an Aspie or maybe not. Thank you for being lovely and welcoming to the forum on my first post. I already like it here a lot <3
  18. 13 points
    1. My YouTube account is currently set to private, nothing has been deleted. 2. I have not grown out of AS, I have merely put myself in a position where I have so much control of my life that I am rarely affected. 3. Asperclick will remain live and it will always be mine. 4. I have no issue with it being public that I have AS and offer my help and support to the community. I do however have issues with the fact that some of my videos are genuinely painful for me to watch and think about other people watching. Until I decide which videos I am happy with, they are all unavailable. 5. I have not stopped doing videos but they will always focus mainly on my past because that's the only advice I gave to offer. Videos may be remade rather than just being made public again. But hopefully all the topics I covered will still be covered by the time I'm done. 6. I thought I was clear in my statement and had already said most of this. 7. This is part of why I'm stepping back a bit, because everything I do is analysed and it's very draining and it's not how I want my life to be. 8. Comments on my videos will probably be disabled. I don't deserve to be judged the way I am for trying to help.
  19. 13 points
    I'm going a date this Thursday we are going out for dinner I'm going too buy her supper and a nice bottle of wine I'm a little nervios but I know will be ok
  20. 13 points
    Because living a normal life without any challenges would be bloody boring. And as humans, we do the majority of our learning and character developing during the most difficult of times - and that, depending on how you look at it, is the greatest gift we can be given. We just don't see it that way at the time. Now if you're tired of being depressed, and you want to be happy, then it is YOUR responsibility to actively do something about it. A few may sympathise, but most aren't going to care. And as harsh as that sounds, that's just life. Which is why you need to have your own back, and to not blame outside forces for your circumstances. The reason why certain people rise to the top whilst others plummet, is because the people at the top are never passive. They're active people, and take full responsibility for themselves and everything they do. They don't fear failure, because they know failure waits for success. They don't beat themselves up for making mistakes, because mistakes are part of the defining process. And they don't fear the future, for they are far too focused on the here and now to even notice. It can be a cruel world, yes, but you can put up a fight and assert yourself above that mindset. You just have to want to. And if you're waiting for someone else to do the work, then you're going to be waiting for a very long time. Probably not what you wanted to hear when you put this thread up, but I don't ever see the point in mollycoddling people at times like this.
  21. 13 points
    Hi everyone, I'd like to take a few minutes to talk about our future plans for Asperclick. We've been going for over 6 months now, with a lovely, friendly core base of users - things are going well. I've been a lot more active in the past couple of weeks and have really been enjoying it. I've made some great friends (and met a couple in real life ). It's also been great to hear what a difference this place has made for some people - that kind of feedback gives us a feeling we really can't describe, though if I had to try it'd be "warm and fuzzy". It makes everything worthwhile. So, the obvious question seems to us is... how can we help more people - and help those people more? Over the past few weeks, we've been drafting out some ideas on how to develop the site further. I think it only makes sense to share our initial ideas with you, in case anyone has suggestions or things they'd like to request. The Goal I guess this should really be our 'mission statement' - or at least some variation of this: Asperclick aims to be a large, friendly community for anyone with or anyone affected by somebody with Asperger's syndrome, high-functioning autism or similar autistic spectrum disorder. Asperclick also aims to make life easier for those that match the previous description in a number of other ways - in everyday-life, employment, love (should one desire ) and friendship. We're planning to build a number of additional 'modules' as well as to revamp the existing forum - which will all become what we're calling "Asperclick V2". The Plan Some 'features' or points that will apply to the entire site: - The new version will be fully-responsive, so you can interact with all Asperclick has to offer in FULL from desktop's, laptops, tablets, phones, etc. Currently the mobile theme we have leaves a lot to be desired and removes quite a lot of functionality and information from the interface. We don't think mobile-users should be lumbered with a sub-par user experience. - We aim to support internationalization (i18n) with the new version. This won't happen from the start (our English community is still only small), but software will be designed and built to be easily expandable into other languages. - We already take your privacy and data security extremely seriously. With the new version, we'll be taking that a step further. With the recent NSA/PRISM scandal in the US and similar schemes being protested in the UK, it's clear that the majority don't find this acceptable. We plan to host/store all user-data on servers in a country like Sweden or Iceland - both of those countries support internet freedom without censorship. We feel we'd be putting-off new users or doing our current users a disservice by continuing the host Asperclick in a country where the government can just 'take' YOUR personal information from our servers at the drop of a hat. - For those interested in technology, we're planning to use EmberJS for the majority of the frontend for the new version, with NodeJS or Ruby on Rails for the backend. More on that and the rest of the development stack later. The Forum Invision power board (what Asperclick currently runs on) is great forum software, but it's really quite old now - of course it's still in active development and constantly updated, but the format remains the same. I'm not discounting familiarity, but this is 2013 and we can do better. We're planning to build our own platform from scratch that is fully customized to our(your!) needs. I won't go in to too much detail here since I have WAY too many ideas to mention, but to summarize: - A reputation system. Having some way of showing a user's reputation is a good thing - it gives users (new ones in particular) an idea of somebody's status in the community - if someone has a high reputation, they should be someone you can trust. Currently, we have post count and 'reputation' - solely based on how many likes one's posts have accrued. I wouldn't say that was an accurate representation of reputation at all. We plan on having the primary stat next to users BEING 'reputation' (rep), and having an algorithm that takes more factors into account. Things like how much up/downvotes one's posts have had (more on that later), post count, active membership duration, infractions, etc. This is by no means perfect, but we can tweak it. So the reputation weights might look something like: New Thread +2 New Post +1 Upvote +2 Downvote -5 Visited for the day +5 Love-Post +10 Infract -x (100 default?) - Up/Downvotes for each post. Currently you can 'like' posts to show your support or agreement with what someone has said. It only makes sense to have the opposite be possible too - each post will have a counter with up/down arrows so you can easily and quickly show your (dis)agreement with a post. Up and downvotes will be anonymous. We were also thinking of letting people 'love' a post. Up/downvoting or 'love'ing someone's post would adjust their reputation by different amounts. Loving a post would award more reputation than an update and wouldn't be anonymous, but users would be limited to 'love'ing 2 (or there abouts) posts per day. The idea is, it would be an indication that the user *really* likes, values, supports or agrees with the post in question. - Anonymous posting. Lots of people might not want to create an account or login with facebook to post in the interests of privacy or hiding their identity. We shouldn't stop those individuals from posting, so we'd like to support anonymous/account-less posting. Obviously these users wouldn't benefit from private messaging or anything like that, and it would be policed quite heavily to keep a handle on spam. - New content. Currently, to find new content you can few the 'recent topics' list - works great whilst the forum is still small, but when it's busy (multiple threads/minute) you'll miss a lot - you can receive notifications of activity in threads you're subscribed to or manually go into each forum to look for new threads. We'd like to overhaul that, with more of the main UI being used to help you find both new content and content you're active or interested in. - Reputation-based moderation. This is definitely still at the idea stage, but I'd *really* like to have some kind of system in place where members gain moderating priveleges in line with the amount of reputation they have. The idea being, if you're reputation is high enough, you're probably a valued and respected member of the community - enough so to handle reports and so on. I don't like how 'authoriative' other forums can come across - members vs mods - to the extent where I considered changing the Administrator's group here to just be 'Member', so I didn't stand out. I didn't in the end for a few reasons - everybody already knows who I am, it might be confusing, etc. The point stands though. - No "Information Overload". There's quite a lot of unnecessary information on IPB's interface. We'd aim to massivley reduce that, whilst improving the design aesthetics, maintaing (and improving) functionality and focusing on readability. Here are a couple of examples of what we were thinking (desktop and mobile to show you how it would be responsive, too): - http://postimg.org/image/57nfn057b/ - http://postimg.org/image/pjeg0xbgh/ - Lots more features, user experience improvements, etc. Social Network We're going to build a social network. There, I said it. A social network built with aspies in mind - extremely configurable privacy-settings, away from the information-overload of facebook, fully integrated with the rest of the site and community. I don't have much more to say on this at the moment, just that I'd definitely like it to happen - and so would everyone else I've mentioned it to. Personal Dashboard The idea behind this section is to provide as many software-tools to aid aspies as possible. So for example, at the moment we have plans for; a calendar for aspie's to add appointments to (which they could be reminded about by email and/or SMS), a day-trip planner, budget-planner and other things of that nature. Another idea was an 'obsession-tracker', which pulls obsession-related articles from Google alerts or other sources, straight to your dashboard. Open to suggestions. Jobs Board This is a really important module, in our opinion. A jobs board with jobs that make special accomodation(s) for employees with ASD's. A lot of the unemployed members here aren't in their situation through choice - they just can't find a suitable working environment. We'd actively search for employers that make these accomodations to post their job openings. It's a win/win situation - unemployed aspies might find a job they're comfortable in and employers benefit from the intelligence, attention to detail and focus that (most ) aspies bring to the table. Dating A lot of aspies struggle with (romantic) relationships. I've thought a dating site for aspies would be a good idea for a while - I know Wrongplanet built one, which looks kind of dead/90's. The main problem with dating sites is trust - it's too easy to fake your identity or lie. If a site get's a reputation for that kind of thing, it won't work. We were thinking that REQUIRING x reputation on Asperclick to use the dating site might help 'validate' users to be trustworthy to some extend, before they can contact others. Beyond that, it'd be similar to many other dating sites, matching people on their interests, personality traits, etc, etc. Open to suggestions. ----- That's an overview of the modules. There is far too much to write about each of them for me to give a full summary here. I've hopefully give you enough for you to share in our vision and give us your feedback though. Money I'd really love to dedicate myself to developing Asperclick full-time. I know that's not going to be possible until we're a much larger community, but monetization is something to think about. I will ensure the plans I mentioned above happen in some capacity, alongside my regular work, it will just take time. Everyone has been very generous so far in donating towards the cost of hosting for Asperclick. I wish we didn't have to ask - but it's nice to have people contact us WANTING to help (which is why we setup the donation page) - we certainly won't refuse help. As the site grows, so will the costs and we've thought of a few ways to try and cover that outside of relying on donations. - Charging employers for listings on the jobs board. This is common practice in online recruitment. The rates would be reasonable compared to generic job board sites as a sign of our appreciation that employers are willing to reach out to the AS community by building comfortable workplaces. - Allowing users to bypass the reputation requirement to use the dating site. This might seem a bit 'selly-outy' at first, but willingness to pay is a form of validation in itself - which is all the reputation requirement serves in the first place (validation). - Tasteful advertising. By tasteful, I mean INFREQUENT adverts that are designed to match the aesthetics of the site, for products or services relevant to aspies which WE approve of. So for example, weighted blankets, jackets that hug you, genuine things aspies might like. - And finally a user-funded option. We were thinking of allowing users to donate a small amount £1-5 (their choice) monthly, should they want to. The idea being that everyone that finds this place useful could hopefully afford a tiny amount (to them) monthly to support it. Supporters would intentionally get very little (or no) benefit from donating. The site being online is their gratitude. I don't really like how other forums will try to 'sell' subscriptions in return for menial perks like PM box space, avoiding flood control etc - those are things that will be based on reputation. We will be completely open with Asperclick's finances. We will always make Asperclick's 'income' public information. Should the day come where it's possible for me to work on Asperclick full-time, we'll need to draw money from it to live, but that will all be disclosed. In the (hopeful!) scenario that Asperclick could create a substantial income over time, 'excess' income will be put towards the WillowHope Foundation - we've spoken of that briefly in threads before. It will be a charity aimed at helping those with ASD's. More details on that later. Parting Thoughts I just have one last part to add - that is that we PROMISE to you that we will be extremely cautious with any changes we make to Asperclick. For example, when V2 is finished (after extensive testing and beta period), all data will be migrated seamlessly - nothing will be lost. The forum we build will be extremely intuitive so as not to alienate anyone. Also, we really have no idea how long this will take yet. A long time. I'd be most comfortable saying 1-2 years. We refuse to rush and will make sure we get this right. That was a long post. So. Thoughts?
  22. 13 points
    Toran - I'm quite surprised to find just how little you seem to think of Willow (and by extension, me, since there is a little about the forum we don't discuss) and how you think your personal situation excuses you for a lot of your behavior on the forum tonight... I'm not really sure where to begin. I don't want you to think I'm attacking you, (I feel like I've said this to a lot of people lately :/) I just want to try and have you understand. Try and keep that in mind when reading this. These are facts - the definition of a 'fact' being a statement based upon tangible or measurable evidence. You've derailed 2-3 threads in the last couple of days for no good reason. You've attacked other members and Willow.You have mentioned the situation with your daughter... a lot. There's nothing wrong with that and we definitely do care about that kind of stuff, but it doesn't mean you should be treated any differently or excused from the prior points. You've been abusive towards other members, you received warning points for it (details were in the warning note). Sofi has been abusive. She has received warning points. There are no favorites here or anyone that the rules don't apply to. We definitely do root for freedom of speech, provided that the speech in question isn't a direct attack/provocation of another member or posted in the wrong place. A thread where somebody is trying to organize a meet-up and make a few friends is not the right place to start a debate and start throwing accusations of discrimination. Go ahead and start a seperate thread for it (though I think Kuribo beat you to it). I haven't deleted or edited any posts here, despite you bashing Willow and the forum... is that free enough? I'm not sure why you think Willow is 'nasty' or how we've treated you unfairly. You're an honorary member, won the 'Asperclicker Award' (!!!) and we've tried to help you where possible with the forum (changing your profile picture, info, creating your signature, etc). Willow was actually going to post you the painting you ordered a while back tomorrow, just because we knew you were going through a rough time and thought you might as well have it. We're a bit disappointed to be honest. I don't have a lot else to say and am still undecided on whether it's best to nuke this thread from existence (since it's extremely... 'ugly') or leave it as a reminder for days to come of how ridiculously out of hand things can get, but lastly: We are sorry to hear about the situation with your daughter. Even those that you've angered and have lashed out tonight I'm sure don't like to hear about cases of self-harm and what-not. I for one would like to offer you support, in whatever form I can, since it's obviously taking it's toll on you. But that's extremely tough when there's what feels like a 'turf war' going on right now.
  23. 13 points
    I want to point out that it is not, and never will be, acceptable to pick on a member here, for any reason that I can think of, but especially not just because you 'don't like them' or they 'don't fit in' or they 'ruin the vibe'. None of those are good reasons. It's not a popularity contest, it's a forum for people on the spectrum and we are not the type of people to push someone out for those reasons. We’re a community and like in any other community, there will be people that don’t get along. Like I've said before, I'm not here to try and patch things up between members that don't get along, I'm just here to sort out things like spam and abuse etc which may happen, and to give the warnings out when needed. I can't be expected to act as a go between when members fall out. I expect that you would be able to come to an amicable agreement via PM, and not on the public forum, because that just leads to a negative atmosphere if it ends up spread across several threads. We have a block function and you can choose to not see anything from a certain member. Please use that rather than PM'ing me telling me that you don't get along with someone. More often than not, it will end in an argument which means that you're both likely going to end up with warning points from taking stabs at each other, and then it really does become my problem, but please, for everyone's sake, just take a step back and think about blocking them before it gets out of hand!
  24. 12 points
    As a mother with a 15 year-old boy with autism diagnosed when he was 12, Willow's forum and her personal responses to my limited understanding of the condition, has deeply helped my family to carry on. Willow had taken time and lots of sympathy replying to our messages full of sadness and hopelessness. We felt so appreciated by her comments lifting our spirits. Not only Willow has supported us, but a few of the forum members have enlightened us with their knowledge and personal experience. Thank you Willow for your effort and kindness.
  25. 12 points
    got a date tommarow taking her to the theam park.
  26. 12 points
    Thank you all, you're too sweet. I got the official diagnosis today - I'm most certainly on the spectrum. I'm still letting it all sink in, but wow, I am just so relieved.
  27. 12 points
    There was really only one person who we could give this to (I think you all know who it will be)! Congratulations to... ...Tylermc! You will get your certificate and the Asperclick keyring, just like everyone else, but since this is the top prize, and as a personal thank you for being such a good fan, I had a 1st edition copy of The Girl In The Panda Hat printed just for you, since I know you wanted one and we don't make it anymore for sale, so I'll sign that and send it with your other prize!
  28. 12 points
    I'm officially-diagnosed, but this is a topic that matters to me. I have no problem whatsoever with self-diagnosed people. I usually advise people that they needn't bother seeking an official diagnosis unless doing so would help them to access services and support, particularly if they live in a country where it costs money to get an assesment. There exists a small minority of people who falsely self-diagnose for attention, but they really are just a small minority. I often feel sorry for them due to the unjustified hostility and bullying they find themselves victims of on sites such as WrongPlanet.net. Even as an officially-diagnosed person, I can't stand people like this. When a self-diagnosed person comes to a forum for support and ends up being deliberately made to feel unwelcome by some asshole who thinks he automatically knows them better than they do, I always try to stand up for the self-diagnosed person. Moderators on other sites aren't nearly as strict about bullying based on diagnosis status as they should be.
  29. 12 points
    I'm sure that people leaving the forum has nothing to do with you. I think that people are just bored, tired, fed up, etc with things happening in their lives, and certain members interact better, are more fun etc. They attract other members, so if they leave then those others they attract leave too.
  30. 12 points
    Well I've had a very hard time stopping myself from ringing him and giving him a piece of my mind (but you asked me not to so I won't). I've never come across a man who is so selfish and inconsiderate as him. He will never deserve you as a daughter and will never appreciate you for who you are. You are everything to me and Jason and we wouldn't change you for the world. I love you just as you are and always will and you can always count on the both of us to be there for you and for Chris. Don't let your dad get you down you're far better than he is and have such a caring nature that he takes advantage of. Lots of love Mumma xxx PS He should always ring first, everyone else does!
  31. 12 points
    Old stuff only, as despite being a photographer, I always forget to photograph my work (more the case I think of get rid of it as soon as possible as I have taken as much as I have taken as much as I can out of the piece and when it is finished, I always think I could have done better, so get rid fast) But ;
  32. 11 points
    Today I went to the bank. Friday isn't normally such a busy day, but when I arrived there was a huge crowd outside the bank waiting to get in. Normally I'd go away and come back another time, but I had urgent business to do that couldn't wait. The bank has double security doors, an outer door and an inner door, with a gap in the middle big enough for two or three people. When you go in, both the inner and outer doors are shut for about 20 seconds and you are stuck between them, before the inner door is released and you can go in. This situation makes me feel very trapped and claustrophobic, but I'm ok with it if I go in alone. Today, there was a huge crowd outside and the doors were manned. A girl was supervising the crowd, letting about 4 people in at a time. I thought, this is going to be a problem, I don't know if I can go into the narrow gap with 3 other people. I decided to wait in line, but to tell the girl that I'm claustrophobic, perhaps she'll let me in on my own. When my turn came, I started to panic and couldn't go in, and I stuttered that I'm claustrophobic. An old man who was also waiting said "what's wrong with you? Why are you so upset?" and he went in even though it was my turn. I went in with him, but then the girl wanted to cram another 2 people into the gap so i'd be pressed up close to him and I just couldn't do it, I panicked, I pushed my way out hurting my leg, and started shaking and couldn't breathe. Then the girl let some more people in, and I calmed down a bit, and the girl let me in on my own. When I got in, there were a lot of people waiting, I was still feeling shakey so I took my queue ticket and went to the back near the window. There were a lot of people and I would be waiting in the queue for at least 2 hours. I put my headphones again and music, because it calms me down and blocks it out. One of the staff saw me, and said something to me, but I couldn't speak. She went away for a bit and came back, and I was able to speak this time. She said that she could see that I was under a lot of stress and asked me what I needed, she would serve me so I wouldn't have to wait. She took my papers and sorted everything out for me. Then, she brought me round the back away from the crowd, and made sure my passage was clear to leave the bank. I can still hardly believe that a person would be so kind to me, and want to help me without judgement, and I'm very grateful to her. I'm glad that there are some understanding people out there who are kind enough to help a stranger. Has anybody else had an experience like that, when a person was kind to you when you weren't expecting it?
  33. 11 points
    Just found this on Liane's Facebook page (not sure why I've not seen it already), and thought I'd share it; it's a really great, in depth interview, which I thought might be useful for people
  34. 11 points
    Hi, I feel i'm addicted to this forum. Since I joined I'm spending so much time here. Its really well designed and people are so friendly. I just wanted to post this to say that I'm having a good time here. Thanks Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
  35. 11 points
    We are getting a puppy!! My mum has breed my dog and is buying me a puppy, I think it may be partly my birthday present too. But if my dog doesn't have puppys then we will buy one once we've saved up for one I'm so excited, we've picked the name out and in a month or so will start looking at them We have to find a house we can have pets in but so far I think we have found one! We just need to sort the deposit out and pay for referencing ) Exciting stuff!!!! One of the other reasons we want a dog, is that they help me massively with anxiety and calming. The phyciatrists recommended this to my mum which is one of the reasons we had Coco although we wanted one it just made it happen sort of thing. Anyway its true, she helps me hugely and I'm more effected and attached to her than anyone else other than Josh. Does anyone else find this? Or have a pet that has this effect on them? I'm super excited to get a puppy! We have been doing some online shopping (browsing) for things we will need! Eeeeek.
  36. 11 points
    We have a thread elsewhere for this: http://asperclick.com/topic/1550-autism-card/ But I'm starting this one because I wanted to include all the info in one post I've designed an 'alert' card, for those on the Autistic Spectrum to carry around with them. The idea is that if you get a bit overwhelmed or you aren't able to get your point across etc, when you're out and about in public, you can hand this card over and it will just go some way to explain why you're flapping and struggling to breathe! I've written myself, and didn't look at any other cards beforehand, because I didn't want to 'copy' any others. As you can see, it's got the WillowHope/Asperclick colour scheme etc, so it's not dull. I tried to make it a bit more 'funky' etc. than the usual ones, and not as...insulting. I don't mean that in a bad way as such, I just mean that after seeing some since designing mine, and from what I can remember from my old one, they seem to make us look kind of useless, and I just wanted this one to be worded a bit nicer. You can get them from my store here. They cost £1.50 (plus shipping) and once I've made back the money it costs to order them (pretty expensive as it turns out ) then the money will go towards the running of Asperclick and the general expenses that come from all the other things I try to do to help They will be the size and thickness and durability of a credit/debit card, so will fit into your wallet/purse and should last a long time! Front: Back:
  37. 11 points
  38. 11 points
    A build up of stress and negative emotions, or maybe in response to a big change or injustice, coming out in an outburst of maybe crying and physical extremities.
  39. 11 points
    Me having read some of these 'suggestions'
  40. 11 points
    My local police department got back to me and would like to meet me to learn more about the work I do They said they do have a card, but they didn't say much about it, so we'll see.
  41. 11 points
    Morning all, You may or may not have noticed that we had some downtime this morning (8:30am - 9:00am BST). Glad to report we've now moved to our new server. Hopefully that should sort the issue with any database errors you may have been seeing occasionally. Everything appears to be in check, but if you spot any bugs or errors that have appeared since the move, let me know and I'll investigate. Thank you all for your patience.
  42. 10 points
    Well I just graduated from College, got an AS in Environmental Engineering Technology, and a bunch of Certificates in Sustainable and "Green" things.
  43. 10 points
    I'm not sure why I always want to know why things are as such or why things happen. I always want to know the cause of things and now I'm even thinking of why I always want to know the reason(s) why something happens/something is the way it is. With or without research, I like to come up with theories and possibilities. Do you ever find yourself finding explanations to things? If so, why do you think this happens?
  44. 10 points
    Does anyone else here often have difficulty understanding humour? By this, I mean: Understanding sarcasm, and knowing when a person is being sarcastic. Understanding when something said is meant to be taken as a joke, and when it is serious. Picking up on references to popular culture. Getting the joke, understanding why something is funny. Banter, wind-ups and teasing. Understanding banter, being able to follow it and return it. knowing when someone is trying to wind you up. Double entendres Understanding Gifs. These are often lost on me because I can't make the connection between the gif and the point the person is trying to make. They are abstact and often not direct. I believe that eveyone has some level of difficulty understanding humour; not all people get all jokes 100% of the time, but I seem to have a lot more difficulty than most. All the above present some level of difficulty for me. It can be quite a serious difficulty, because so much of social interaction is based around humour. People like and want to be with people who are fun. Social groups bond together because they share jokes, laugh together, banter, and this is what is fun for then. The group develops its own culture. If you don't /can't join in this, then you aren't part of the group because you don't share in its culture, and you are an outsider. The group then won't include you in its activities. Many people find me boring and don't seek my company because they think that I'm boring. I don't do banter, I don't get other people's jokes, I don't get when something is meant as a joke and I take everything seriously or literally, I don't realise when someone is being sarcastic, I don't understand their references to popular culture and so they think I come from another planet (humour intended there ) I often find that I can't relate to or join in people's conversations because of this, and I seek out more 'serious' people who like being with me the way I am and don't mind if I'm not 'fun' all the time. Growing up, I had a very hard time because people picked up on the fact that I was unable to tell when someone was just joking or that I just didn't get things, and I often got very upset. My siblings made a kind of game of it by winding me up on purpose I still have difficulty with this, though I'm glad to say that my siblings no longer wind me up on purpose. It's not that I'm completely lacking in humour; it's just that my sense of humour is different than theirs. I would say I have quite a childish sense of humour, I like slapstick comedy and toilet humour, and I like absurd, surreal humour like Monty Python. I also like playing on words and puns. One of my favourite movies is Life of Brian
  45. 10 points
    I see it like this: The only label a person can have is his own name. We are all just people, different people. Nobody is exactly the same with anybody else. Even twins are different. The only reason I ever wanted a diagnosis is for myself. To answer some questions. I don't talk about it. I don't want to be an Aspie or the girl with the anxiety or the girl with the eye glasses or nothing. I just want to be Aggie. And I want a fair treatment, an education that fits all kinds of people, a job that I love and deserve. My English are not so well so I really hope I am using the right words to express my thoughts. To sum up, I believe in choice and respect. If someone wants to get a professional diagnosis, then that is what he should do. If he doesn't, and he is ok with the self diagnosis, then that is fine too. As a future teacher in special education I will try not to focus so much on the diagnosis but on the child. I want to treat him/her not like a list of characteristics but as a unique human being.
  46. 10 points
    I always find these posts odd because women aren't some mystical entities that humans have yet to discover and study... Women are people, and they should be treated as people. I've never met a biological female (speaking of NT's, too) who wants the same things from a man as another woman does. Women are so varied, that you just have to act like yourself around enough of them, and you're bound to find some that click with you at least a little bit. It's a good idea to know what you want from a partner and what you can offer to them before you date, so you don't just blindly go after people for unknown reasons. And all relationships take effort and compromise, so while you don't have to change who you are for your partner, adapting yourself a little bit to make the both of you more comfortable with each other is what needs to happen. You won't always get everything you want when you want it and maybe never at all; that's not how life works. Being in a serious relationship is basically trying to fuse 2 completely independent lives into 1 functioning team, while still remaining individuals. If you want to seriously date, be prepared to give to that person a little bit by adapting yourself, and find someone who's willing to do the same for you.
  47. 10 points
    Hi all, Sorry about the downtime this morning/this afternoon. I noticed the site was down when I was in a meeting at work, but couldn't hop on the server to fix it. As you can (hopefully ) see, it's now fixed. And for those that are interested: This downtime was a knock-on effect from the issues we had a couple of days ago. Turns out MySQL doesn't like it *at all* when the disk gets full. It's temp files were borked, some tables needed repairing, etc. Anyhow - all sorted and shouldn't be a recurring issue.
  48. 10 points
    What Will I Get Points For? Cooldown | 1 Point | Temporary Ban (decided by staff) | Removed After 1 Day This is used to prevent or stop arguments or public meltdowns from happening, used to limit the damage you may cause to yourself or others. Signature or Profile Violation | 5 Points |Removed After 2 Days No rude images depicting anything of a sexual nature. No GIFS. General Warning | 3 Points | Removed After 1 Day This can cover any number of small wrong doings. Excessive Advertising | 5 Points | Removed After 2 Days If all or most of your posts are advertising yourself in some way, expect to get this warning. Inappropriate Language | 5 Points | Removed After 1 Day This covers anything from swear words being used in an offensive nature towards others, to language which is purposely meant to insult another member(s). Spamming/Baiting/Arguing | 7 Points | Removed After 2 Days Repeated posting on purpose, backhanded comments, passive aggressiveness, arguing, flaming, etc. Continued Misconduct | 10 Points | Removed After 5 Days If you have been warning already about language, profile or signature violations etc., you will be given this warning. Abusive Behaviour | 15 Points | Removed After 7 Days If you have been previously warned about your behaviour towards another member(s) and you continue, you will be given this warning. Bullying | 20 Points | Never Removed (staff discretion) Extensive and continued abuse toward a member(s) after being warned more than once. What Do The Points Mean? 10 Points | Content Moderated For 1 Day 15 Points | Content Moderated For 2 Days | Restricted from Posting for 1 Day 20 Points | Content Moderated For 3 Days | Temporary Ban for 1 Day 25 Points | Ban Any number of warnings can be given, and can stack up pretty quickly if you’re on some kind of rampage, so just bear that in mind.
  49. 10 points
    Hi all I've made a new forum called 'Debates' which will be for 'Anything which will cause a heated, opinionated discussion; religion, politics etc.' I will be gradually moving threads over to this new forum which will hopefully make it more clear what kind of thing I would like to be posted there in future. Posts made in this forum do NOT count towards post count. Reason being that these threads usually get into an out of hand argument and I don't think people should be increasing their post count through an argument! I'll be honest, I do dislike having to moderate the kinds of threads which I've made this forum for; a lot of the time it's about a topic I don't fully understand or am not personally interested in and so it's harder for me to read through everything and decide who's fault the argument is etc. A lot of the time in these threads, people tend to end up launching personal attacks, which is beyond what I would like to see: a healthy debate or discussion, but keeping in mind that opinions differ and that's fine, that's life. You can't then be angry with that person elsewhere on the forum, it's not fair on everyone else for something to be dragged across the forum into unrelated discussions, because you had a different opinion to them about whatever topic you were arguing about. So, this new forum is going to be mostly unmoderated. I expect you to be mature enough to keep what goes on in this forum, in this forum, and if you really want to make it personal and continue arguing/falling out, then there's a place for that too: personal messages. Please, and I'm asking as nice as I can, don't bring unrelated anger into other threads. If something is becoming a debate in a thread elsewhere, then stop and make a thread in here about it to continue. Thank you
  50. 10 points