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      Hello!   03/17/16

      Welcome to Asperclick! I'm Willow, the founder and moderator. Have a browse around the site and sign up to talk with our members. I hope you find the site useful

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  1. Another aspie vlogger from the same country as the owner of this forum. But she only has one video about asperger's, embedded right below.   Most of her others are make-up tutorials. Another aspie who breaks the mould by being into beauty, but I wonder if it is a special interest of hers. Does she go on and on about make-up? It seems likely that only those who know her personally would currently know. She does have a few other psychology related videos, including one about anxiety and even something called emetophobia. I have sent her an email, using an email address found on her about page, mentioning this site, but so far no reply from her.:(
  2. Singing to self soothe and feel better

    Hello, As some of you know I'm an adult with Aspergers. I have always loved singing to self soothe. I'm self taught and have not had any singing lessons.  I literally fall in love with songs and they get stuck in my head to the point where I can't do much else but hyper focus on the song. It plays in my head 24/7 and the only way to get it out of my head is to learn it and sing it and once I feel satisfied with the recording, it goes away.  I love this song from Beauty and the Beast. Hope you all enjoy listening to it as much as I've enjoyed learning and recording it.     It would mean a great deal to me if you could spare a few minutes to support me with this hobby by visiting my youtube channel which is very much in its infancy, only started recently to have one place to store all my recordings, like it or share it if you find it any good. Sorry about the funny faces i pull whilst concentrating on the notes   Hopefully this link will work for my channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPAIYdY6xr0uasCSBkynT3Q Thank you x
  3. Could I have Aspergers?

    Hello there,   I was chatting to my friends recently when we were all filling in a quesionare for something. One question was "what makes you different to your friends?" And a few of mine wrote "I have autism" (Aspergers or similar), and we were all surprised when they said this, as none of us knew that anyone in our group was autistic. Now, this was a very convenient way of me learning all this, but it led me to do some research, as I knew very little about Autism and Aspergers at the time, and wanted to make sure that I made the right approach and didn't worry them, now that they knew that I knew this about them.   So, I looked up what having Aspergers affected, and what the symptoms were. It wasnt long before I realised that I too had quite a few of these symptoms. I took a few online tests, and they all came up as in the range of someone who had Aspergers. I thought to myself "it can't provide a real diagnosis" but it has been bothering me since.   The traits I can relate with (from the list at http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/tc/aspergers-syndrome-symptoms and other sources) include: difficulty to make and maintain friendships; random finger or hand tapping; strangely formal language; strict(ish) routine (on weekdays); one sided conversations about one obsessive topic (Theatre); domination of conversations (difficult for others to get words in edgeways); heightened sensitivity (especially to sound); difficulty to fit in with others; being bullied for being who I am (which is different to others) and not putting any emphasis on being "cool".   I'm not sure really what to do and haven't told my parents about this yet as I'm not sure what to say or how they'll react! If, however, my suspicions grow, then I will definitely talk to them, but I thought I'd try on here first and see whether there is anyone here who can help me at all by saying "yes, you might have Aspergers" or "no, you're just being silly".   Thank you!
  4. Hello, Previously, in the symptom area of this forum, I wrote about symptoms I had and that I suspected I had Aspergers. Well, earlier this week I had a mental health assessment and got the results back today. The letter said, "Working Diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome to be determined by our Consultant Psychiatrist in a follow-up appointment." Basically, I am confused as what this means. Do you guys have any thoughts? Thanks, Saoirse
  5. Aspie Couples

    I'm curious if anyone else here is part of an Aspie couple. I've heard people speak of NT spouses more often, and this forum is the only place I really talk to other people with Asperger's, so as far as I know I've not met anyone else in my position so I'm wondering if there would be any parallels. He is the first person I've ever been with who was not NT, and it has been an entirely different experience from day one; there are still ups and downs of course. I would say the difference there is that the ups have been more extreme, as have the downs. For the first few years, it was sort of an emotional roller coaster. We, of course, became very attached to one another very quickly. I think it has been a huge blessing that while my husband was, at one time, more severe in his lack of social skills, he is now more highly functioning than me. He has spent years and years learning how to be an effective communicator, and he reads me so well that it seemed like witchcraft to me in the beginning. When he met me I was in a low place, and not even attempting to recover from trauma. He understood the things I was feeling and helped me practice talking and explaining things. Sometimes it pissed me off tremendously. There were times in the beginning of our relationship where he would literally make me sit down and talk to him about things, things I didn't want to talk about and had no idea how to talk about. It made me so mad that a few times I thought about breaking up with him, but then when I calmed down I had to reason with myself that he was trying to help me, and might actually be somewhat equipped to do so. Anyone I've dated has gotten on my nerves. Hell, for that matter, everyone will probably annoy me, eventually. Unfortunately, it's kind of just a matter of time. But with my husband, the things he did or said that irritated me were always, in retrospect, things I'd later realize were things I did. It has been rather eye-opening, and I can ever really get so mad at him, because it would be so hypocritical. It made me have to think about my choices. When I consider the times I've done something to someone that he does to me that's irritating ( such as being dismissive), it never occurred to me that they were getting irritated or hurt, and even if I did manage to notice, my reaction was sort of like, "Eh, they'll get over it". If they didn't get over it immediately, I would consider it a great inconvenience. I never realized how selfish I was until I lived with someone like me. Has this made me less selfish? Honestly, I don't think so, but it has made me more patient and compassionate, in a way. When he says or does something that's annoying, I think back to the times I've done the same thing, and wanted them to just not get offended, because being offensive had nothing to do with my words or actions. So, that's what I would do, I'd just get over it. I'd think, what's are you going to do, get a divorce because he wont take your suggestion or because he's been rambling on the phone for an hour every day lately while he drives home and you want that extra hour of "me" time? Of course not, because he's your favorite person in the world. And what would an argument do? It would only create a real problem, one that wasn't there, before. So I just smile, shake my head and move on with life. So, in a lot of ways, being with another Aspie has been like looking into a mirror, and it shows both the good and the bad, with some quirky differences that keeps things very interesting. I do sometimes feel guilty, or to be totally honest and accurate, I feel that I ought to feel guilty about the fact that since we've been together I barely talk to anyone else. The truth is, there were never very many people in my life to begin with because that's how I like it; the more people in my life there are, the more complications and obstacles that aren't worth the trouble. The few people in my life were either family members, or one of the two close friends I have, both of whom are NT and know what I am, and accept me. I talk to my family less, but that has been because they are excruciatingly irritating to me, and for me to keep them in my life at all, I need them to be in the peripheral, because that's all I can take of them. Basically, my human contact needs are met 100% by my husband, which I am well aware that in the NT world, is immediately classified as negative, wrong or unhealthy in some way. I know that when I was younger before I was diagnosed, that's what I would've thought, too. But I feel pretty confident in saying that healthy lifestyles can vary to an extent depending on the individual, as I have tried to exist happily with an common sort of NT life, and found it to be a living hell. As a married adult, I've only recently begun to live the life that pleases me, and sometimes that pisses people off, which is always a sign to me that they may be even more selfish than me, and don't know what love is. My husband is the only person I've ever known to see me whole and to understand me, and that has been the most fulfilling experience of my life. Even if he is a sh*t sometimes, like me.
  6. Found someone like me <3

    First post I have made here in a long time. Life has been pulling me in so many directions, but one very special change. An old friend I haven't talked to in a while (for good reason) called me up to ask him help move. Me, a complete wreck with bags under my eyes from stress agrees since I have a hard time letting people down.. A cute girl was in the passenger seat and I thought to myself "must be one his "side friends" (keeping it appropriate) Very shy girl, which attracted me to her right away because I'm shy to. AS me and my friend talked in the garage while moving stuff he said that she's very loyal. Big words to hear for me since I have been hurt over and over again. Being single for 3 years I was nervous as hell.. I used one of my best traits to try and make an attempt to communicate with her. Being a dork and using my humor. She didn't laugh very much. When things were finishing up with moving she was outside and I asked her if she was from the same town I live in, since I know most people around here. She said, yes, I didn't have a follow up so I just said cool and smiled >_< .. A few more pointless things and finally asked if she would like to casually just hang out with me and some friends that night for a get together. She tried to act like she was thinking about it and replied with a loud sure! Smiling in excitement. I didn't think she was going to meet me that night and I can't believe she drove all the way back just to see me! The night went great and we spent time laughing, joking and sharing things about each other playing some video games. The next day I waited without talking to her, I didn't want to come off desperate. After a few more hours I couldn't help it and sent her a message inviting her to my friends cookout. nervous as hell with 2 hours of sleep. She was excited and went with. Just as happy and nervous as I was! It was a slow miserable day, her looking amazing, me.. like a zombie. She didn't mind ^-^ Fast forward: We hung out everyday after that. And started officially dating on June 13th. About a week and a half after meeting. Here is the crazy part. after getting to know her more. I noticed she was really awkward just like me, laughed different than any girl, had trouble getting her words out and had a "learning disability" (hate that term) in school. I did to. She became flustered easily by quick information. She can't eat in front of people or focus on talking on the phone around others. The sweetest girl I have ever met.. And I am MORE than convinced she falls into the Asperger's side of life like me.    
  7. So a while back I took an online test I found and it provided me with the nice little web chart below. I think it sums me up pretty much perfectly, and I think I was quite fortunate in the fact that I kinda got the best of both worlds. It's almost like I have a 'switch' that I can flick between 'Normal' and 'Asperger's' as required. I have neurodiverse (Asperger's/HFA) talent and perception, but it doesn't inhibit the required normalcy to the point where it's debilitating. Here's the link to the quiz: http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php      
  8. The job I have right now I've had for a long time. In a way, it's been very good for me, because it's highly interactive and is major sensory overload. I've come a long way in my ability to deal with situations I once thought were impossible for me to handle. In fact, I've never disclosed that I have Asperger's. The reason I never disclosed it is honestly because I am so private, that I really didn't feel comfortable telling people I would otherwise not associate with something so intimate about me. It seemed unfair, though I've kept the possibility in my back pocket if ever it became too much and I needed my employer to take it easy, and understand why. Lately, I have been really wanting to find another job. It has become so hectic that it's becoming too much. It's crowded all of the time; crowds can really become too much for me to handle. People are stressed and pissy, and it makes me literally livid when someone puts bullshit on me early in the morning. Early in the morning is not a good time for me to be interactive, and I'm a ticking time bomb if someone is rude or demanding with me too early. My anger honestly worries me a little. I actually have violent thoughts towards people if they are confrontational with me, simply because they are entitled and grouchy. My responses have gone from trying to calmly pacify the situation, to barely getting out of the conversation without getting myself fired. In fact about a month ago there was this woman who was acting like a flaming lunatic and being very condescending, and I called her a f-ing bitch (mostly under my breath). She heard and freaked out, asked to speak to my manager. I've never had an incident and am one of the most valuable and veteran employees, so when she told him, he didn't believe her. She left furious, and has never come back. He asked me what happened and I just denied that it happened. Luckily, she was acting crazy and rude to everyone, and I acted perfectly calm and rational, so nothing actually came of it. Everyone just believed me and thought she was crazy. But it was a very close call. My dilemma is that I am feeling trapped by limitations I have. My current job has become so familiar and routine, that to break that routine seems like an impossible feat, sometimes. Every time I get close to it, I think, 'But it could be just as bad or worse. It's such a gamble.' Yet in the present circumstance, I feel utterly drained every day, and I don't even know how I keep doing it. I'm not sure what the best coarse of action is. Where does self-improvement end and destructive environment begin?
  9. As someone with Aspergers, I can say that it there are times when it gets to be a bit difficult to manage. Since I was diagnosed as a young child, I'd been able to overcome my issues with eye contact and a few other basic social cues. However, I have at least two problems that I actively face every now and then.  For one, my executive functioning skills. When it comes to simple things like doing laundry, making my bed and cleaning my room, it can be a bit of a problem. It usually takes me around a couple weeks until I do the laundry. As for my room, I'll clean up and make it neat until it gets completely disorganzed and messy. And when it comes more important tasks like project and assignment due dates, it's even worse. It's common for me to misplace my things and a lot of my papers that I carry with me usually get crumpled. (This is actually something I've had problems with for the longest time.) Due to all of this, I've suffered greatly in school for the longest time as well as with my personal hygiene.  Another problem I'd like to mention has to do with what I feel are shutdowns. Whenever dealing with a stressful situation, I often feel incredibly irritated (which I guess is quite normal for almost anyone), which usually leaves me to cry due to the intense emotions inside of me. If I could describe it, it's as if you're stepping into cold water and your body is reacting to the cold by shivering. With me, once I "step into my own emotions", I can't help but cry, and depending on how bad it is, I could go on and cry for hours. (I guess it's more of a sensitivity thing, I'm not too sure tbh)  And one of the biggest issues I have are with language. I absolutely hate when people are vague towards me, because in my head, I have no way of piecing everything together.    Example: Person 1: I've gotten both the pink and the yellow sponges for washing the plates/bowls and glass (respectively).  Me: What about the utensils? What do I wash those with?   It's embarrassing because it seems as if I don't have any common sense, people must think that I'm a complete idiot. And I also struggle with either finding the right words to say or my grammar would be almost completely off.  From the entire time I was diagnosed up until now, I was (subtly) told that being myself, as an autistic person, is wrong, and that I should try to act as neurotypical as possible. Right now, I just want to know proper coping mechanisms, things I can do so I don't keep continuing on with life like this. I'm just tired of struggling, missing important school deadlines, doing all of these things and never coming back to them, and just being messy all of the time. I want to find a way to do better but I'm not sure how.  Sorry for this long post, but if you've read it, thank you so much.
  10. Sound Induced Meltdowns

    Hello, there's always been a select few of sounds that have really bothered me since I was a kid. 1. Ticking clocks (They would become louder and louder in class and I would be unable to focus feeling angered and would have to cover my ears or ask to go to the bathroom to just get away) 2. Food being chewed. Even typing it out bothers me. My dad being the most annoying food chewer in the world as his teeth literally hit each other as he eats, it's the sound of the food to lol. There like bombs that I can't escape, #2 being the worst. If a person were just chewing (gah >_<) normally and not loudly it's not that bad. But when it is bad.. I have to get away as soon as I can by myself, cover my ears really hard like It never happened   Are there any sounds that bother any of you? What do you do when it happens? Have you found something that helps?
  11. I just saw a video of ten things you should never do in Dubai, I wonder what the autism situation is there.
  12. Hi,   I was wondering peoples thoughts on telling a partner you have Aspergers? I'm on the milder end of the spectrum and its not particularly noticeable... Do you think its important I let a possible partner know? I know you can't really answer it for me but I'm in need of advice. Emma x    
  13. http://m.tmz.com/#article/2016/05/03/50-cent-apology-andrew-farrell-autism/ Here we go again with a "cool" & "hip" person making fun of our disorder. This stuff really pisses me off. This is why I stay away from the "cool" people. 
  14. JC short Film series

    Just seen these, nice set of 6 videos by John Clark    
  15. Smilies/Emoticons on Autism Forums

    This is a bit of a strange topic, but I'm curious to know what people think about the use of smilies/emoticons as a means of communication on Autism forums. I've been told in the past that I over-use them and I've had people misinterpret the reasons for my use of them, but I personally consider them to be a great communication tool. One could sometimes be the difference between my interpretation of a post as friendly or hostile, and while I've gotten over this now, I do feel more at ease with people who use them a lot, and I'm able to understand the intentions behind their posts more quickly than I otherwise would. What do you think about them? Do you find them helpful and informative when it comes to online communication, or are they (as some people have said) an unnecessary annoyance that make posts more difficult to interpret?
  16. Self Diagnosis

    How many people on here are self-diagnosed?What do you think of people who self-diagnose?How do you deal with people who disapprove of your self-diagnosis?   
  17. 1. I don't fit in. I've never really fit in, not even in my family.  But my family is generally accepting of me. 2. I have trouble reading people--body language, social cues etc. But I've gotten a lot better at it over the years. 3. I have a very active mind. I'm always thinking, rethinking and thinking some more. It never stops!  It even makes my head hurts 4. Sometimes, I can't recognize people's face. Not even those I know really well. 5. I'm the queen of over analyzing. I guess that goes in the overthinking category. I go over things again and again in my head. In a sick way, it's actually soothing. 6. I always have special interests and obsessions. Most people can be interested in many things at once. That isn't me. For example, Heath Ledger. Most of my day consists of him--reading about him, looking for pictures of him, watching his movies, TV shows anything having to do with him. Same thing about Aspergers. 7. But unlike a lot of Aspies, most of my obsessions are not long term. Aspergers is. The Sims 3 is another one. But generally people are not. Psychology was. Next week, I could be obsessed with Viola Davis, Marilyn Momroe or someone or something else completely. 8. Repetitive behavior. I watch the same movies again and again. Same scenes over and over. Back to back. I listen to same songs, and sometimes read the same books. 9. I have sensory issues--mainly with sounds. I hate bloody sirens, motorcycle noises, people have overlapping conversations, unexpected noises, the ice machine at McDonalds etc. Earplugs and music help, but it doesn't always drown out the sounds. At home, I need my fan on at all times. Without it, I become overwhelmed, stimming like crazy. I can hear just about everything coming from the other side of the door. Some fabrics, like wool are a little tough to wear. 10. Some fabrics, like wool are a little tough to wear. I can't wear high heels. I can't wear skirts, or dresses. Rather, I prefer not to. If it were legal, I wouldn't wear clothes at all, LOL. But I mainly wear T-shirts, jeans, black pants w/ polyester blend, tennis shoes, flat shoes. Cotton is best. I prefer comfort over style, which is why I wear those things. 11. I don't spend much time getting ready. 30 minutes tops. Why do you need any more time than that? I shower, wash my hair when needed, put on my clothes and shoes, pack my bag and I'm ready to leave. 12. I prefer one-on-one conversations as opposed to group conversations. Any more than one person is too much for me. Even with one person, communication can be a bit hard. 13. Unwritten social rules? Oh boy, do I struggle with those! It seems like there's always some rule I should know that I don't. The rules are confusing. 14. It never seems to stick in my head. I'm talking about socializing. It's like I'm constantly having to learn and relearn the rules of socializing. People seem to know the rules automatically, while I'm always trying to keep up. 15. But luckily for me, I enjoy learning. And if I really want to learn something, I often self-teach. Which is easy thanks to the Internet. 16. The other day, my therapist said something about feelings. "Tell me how you feel.", she said. I couldn't. Not because I didn't want to, but I couldn't put it into words. I tried to, but I just couldn't. I didn't know what to say. I've felt that way many, many times in my life. 17. I speak too loud and too fast. Loud mumble, my brother calls it. 18. I've rarely had a friendship that lasted more than 3 years. Not because I didn't like the person, but because I had trouble maintaining the friendship. I still struggle with the rules. How often should I call? Every day, once a week? How often should we hang out? What should we talk about? Time to pull out the old script. 19. Most of the conversations I have happened inside my head. Whenever I go out, it's like I need a script to follow in order to make conversations with people. 20. Stop and start conversations. Even with people I know really well, like my family, I rarely have a smooth conversation. When I talk to someone, I often pause many times during the conversation. Waiting. I'm trying to think of what to say. I am waiting for the other person to say something. Sometimes I just lose interest and say "Bye". I assume the other person has lost interest. 21. I constantly ask questions, even when I have already gotten the answers to my questions. I recently learned that this is a symptom of Aspergers. 22. Usually, I don't feel a strong urge to socialize. I'm happy being alone. 23. I don't do the group thing. Even as a girl, I'd have parties, but I'd often hide away in some room just to be alone for a long time. Someone would always find me and say "Go back to your friends." 24. I think both in words and pictures, but mostly pictures. Little movies and slideshows happening in my head. 25. When it comes to expressing myself, I'm much better at writing than talking. 26. I don't know if I can describe myself as a black-and-white thinker. My mind is crazy and complex. 27. I often go off on a tangent with having a conversation with people. I have a point in mind, but I end up talking about something completely different. I lose track of my thoughts, but someone always keeps me in check. 28. What if I do have Aspergers, but I've grown more socially and as a person than I realized? 29. But I have a lot to learn still. 30. I often having to prepare myself for socializing. I need a script, and study the place in question before going there. Even with constant preparation, I still get anxious and overwhelmed, 31. I overshare a lot. I'd rather have real conversations with someone than small talk. Talk to me about your favorite movies, friends, life, what you're thinking etc. I want to know all of you. I want you to know all of me. I hate small talk. 32. I often eat the same McDonald's meal daily. I know it's unhealthy, but I have sort of an addiction to it. I do like other things though--chicken and broccoli Lean Cuisine, raisins, ravioli, pepperoni, pizza, eggs, peas, corn, boneless chicken etc. It just doesn't occur to be to eat them. 33. I'm a very loyal person. 34. People say that I'm very sensitive as well. I think it's true. 35. I have to do things in a certain way. Otherwise, I get a little annoyed. Take a certain bus route, or eat a certain food etc. Routine is very important to me. 36. I love trivia. 37. I'm a collector--of bags, quotes, books etc. 38. I have a ton of stims--classic ones like rocking or hand flapping. But others like rubbing my stomach, clapping, tapping the table, singing, feeling fabrics, knocking on my bedpost or any hard surface, pounding my fist on the table or my chest, playing with my hair etc.  Too many to list here. 39. I have strong morals and principles I have to abide by. 40. I have a very vivid imagination. I daydream a lot. I'm highly creative. 41. I can't eat raw foods or onions. I don't like the taste of alcohol. My stomach can't take it. And there's more, but I wanted to share this list with you.
  18. Hi, As mentioned in the help, support and advice thread, I have pasted below a series of short videos by Dr. T Attwood on Aspergers syndrome. I related with most if not all of it. I am curious to read what other Aspies on this forum think about these videos. I just want to know if anyone else has experienced these aspects in their lives or is it just me.    and finally   Thanks for your time. Mish   
  19. Hi sorry if in wrong place can't find a place to put it.. I've created a forum for autistic gamers a place we can gather and talk games, play online etc. Willow has this forum must be a massive undertaking and not enough time so i thought rather put more pressure on her i thought i'd create a forum just for us aspies to game. If you'd like the address leave a comment.   Marmite.
  20. Hi there, My name is Abbie Elton and I am currently studying a Masters degree in ‘Autism Studies’ with the University of Kent (UK). I am conducting research for my dissertation, which is about Sensory profiles of adults with autism, in particular comparing the differences between genders. I am looking for adults with Autistic Spectrum conditions who would be willing to complete two short online questionnaires. If you would like to take part, please follow the link in the advert below. Thank you very much in advance. Sensory Profiles of Adults with Autism: A comparison study between males and females Are you: • Aged 18 years or older? • Diagnosed with an autism spectrum condition? If so, you are invited to take part in this study which is investigating gender differences in sensory issues among adults with autism. I am currently a student at the University of Kent (UK), studying a Masters degree in ‘Autism Studies’. Recent studies suggest most adults with autism have some level of sensory sensitivity, but much less is known about how these issues differ between men and women. This research could provide important information about gender differences in sensory profiles. The study involves completing an online questionnaire called the Adult/Adolescent Sensory Profile tool, followed by a short demographic study. It should take no more than 20 minutes in total to complete. We will be happy to provide a summary of the results when the study is finished. If you would like to take part, please click the link below to begin. https://newqtrial2015az1.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cP97HoP11QXLavP Thank you, Abbie Elton