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      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

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Sofi

See You Soon...

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Sofi

Hello my Asperclick friends,

As you may (or may not...) have noticed, I have not been posting near as much over the past few weeks or you might've noticed, when I have posted, it's been quite negatively/angrily. Unfortunately, this is because I have been facing quite a few problems with my life and mental health, more than what I have openly posted about and perhaps more than I have realised myself until very recently. Maybe more than I still don't realise. It became too much and it has escalated very quickly and for this reason, it's been decided I must go to get as much help as I can from a residential hospital. The help I need is far beyond what I can do staying at home and being at home is contributing to my problems at the moment.

The problems do include my Autism and how it is affecting me interpreting things and identifying/controlling my emotions but it also goes beyond Autism and a whole other set of mental health issues - intense paranoia, anxiety etc. which has led me to some very shameful and bad behaviours over many years now. The biggest problem is, I haven't told a single person some of the worst behaviours (I haven't even admitted to that until now.) But, I am prepared to admit and tackle these behaviours in the hospital. It's going to be insanely difficult for me to talk about them because it's been locked up inside of me for years, making me feel completely alone and trapped.

The most important thing is that I have accepted I need the help and I am willing to get the help now, I think that is the best frame of mind to go into this with. I have already been trying really hard to change some (of the easier) things whilst still at home and I have done quite well so far. Apart from some bad times over this weekend, but I guess that's why I'm needing the help urgently.

It is only because of Asperclick and the friends I have met on here which has helped me to realise my problems and that I need help. So, thank you for starting me to get my life back. I am looking forward to coming back here feeling a lot more healthy and positive and calm, and a lot less angry.

I have to go tomorrow (13th) informally or else, I'll have to be sectioned anyway. And, I have no real indication of how long I will be. It all depends how it goes and how I am doing but I think it will also be that I can go back to living at home as soon as it's really safe. I'll miss all my Asperclick friends very much but to think of you will give me inspiration to keep going.

Sofi xx

(This may all sound very positive, I'm actually terrified :()

 

 

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Heather

Oh Sofi, I'm so glad I logged onto Asperclick today.  I had been wondering what you had been up to.  I don't like to keep pestering with messages so hadn't messaged you lately and I'm sorry about that too.  I also noticed there weren't many posts from you on here when I logged on the other day.  Though I noticed you were around on the active users and you liked one of my posts I think. 

 

I'm sure the residential hospital will be good for you and I hope you are able to regain your mental health to a degree where you can get back to more normal life at home again.  You will be in my thoughts a lot and I hope to talk to you soon when you are able to again.  You are an amazing strong woman Sofi and a great friend and you are going to be okay. :)  See you soon :)

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Sofi

Oh Sofi, I'm so glad I logged onto Asperclick today.  I had been wondering what you had been up to.  I don't like to keep pestering with messages so hadn't messaged you lately and I'm sorry about that too.  I also noticed there weren't many posts from you on here when I logged on the other day.  Though I noticed you were around on the active users and you liked one of my posts I think. 

 

I'm sure the residential hospital will be good for you and I hope you are able to regain your mental health to a degree where you can get back to more normal life at home again.  You will be in my thoughts a lot and I hope to talk to you soon when you are able to again.  You are an amazing strong woman Sofi and a great friend and you are going to be okay. :)  See you soon :)

 

Thank you very much Heather  :)

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Caroline

I don't know you very well but yes, you seem very strong and if you feel you need it it's probably the best thing to do and you will come back feeling much better, so good luck and see you soon :-)

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spiderwoman0_2

Sofi I'm so glad you've realised that you need extra help and I think it's very brave of you to admit this.  I think it will do you the world of good.  Try not to be too terrified and don't rush your recovery, these things take time so take small steps.

 

Me and Mr S wish you all the best for a speedy recovery and we'll be waiting for you when you return :D

 

Take care sweetie :D

xx

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Ben

Your at the very bottom now, the only direction you can go is up. It isn't going to be speedy either, it will be a long, slow process. But during this experience you will learn everything you need to know about yourself. You'll come out of it a new woman, unquestionably stronger than when you went in. 

 

You'll also have clarity of who Sofi is and exactly what Sofi wants. The first step you have taken in this process; you realised you have a problem. You also realise where these problems stem from, which means you >>CAN<< beat them. And I believe you will. 

 

You just need to believe you will too. 

 

I'm not saying this to be nice, or to support you either, you don't need that. You just need to hear the truth. No amount of words will help you without action on your part, which you have also begun by taking this massive step on your life quest. 

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iggy

Sofi, I think you are the bravest person I know. And knowing that, I know you will be fine and wish you well tackling the problems that you have built up. I am certain you will be back before you know it.

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Sofi

Sofi I'm so glad you've realised that you need extra help and I think it's very brave of you to admit this.  I think it will do you the world of good.  Try not to be too terrified and don't rush your recovery, these things take time so take small steps.

 

Me and Mr S wish you all the best for a speedy recovery and we'll be waiting for you when you return :D

 

Take care sweetie :D

xx

 

Thank you Mr & Mrs Spiderman :) xx 

 

 

Your at the very bottom now, the only direction you can go is up. It isn't going to be speedy either, it will be a long, slow process. But during this experience you will learn everything you need to know about yourself. You'll come out of it a new woman, unquestionably stronger than when you went in. 

 

You'll also have clarity of who Sofi is and exactly what Sofi wants. The first step you have taken in this process; you realised you have a problem. You also realise where these problems stem from, which means you >>CAN<< beat them. And I believe you will. 

 

You just need to believe you will too. 

 

I'm not saying this to be nice, or to support you either, you don't need that. You just need to hear the truth. No amount of words will help you without action on your part, which you have also begun by taking this massive step on your life quest. 

 

Thank you Ben. I appreciate it, this is very true. I feel like accepting there is a problem, even if I maybe do not realise the severity of it yet, is almost half of the battle. 

 

 

Sofi, I think you are the bravest person I know. And knowing that, I know you will be fine and wish you well tackling the problems that you have built up. I am certain you will be back before you know it.

 

Wow, thank you Iggy. That's nice of you to say. I think bravery is what I'm going to need. 

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Nesf

I agree, it's very brave of you to go to the hospital, and to come here and tell us about your problems. Realising you need help, and seeking it has already put you on the road to recovery. I'm sure you'll be well looked after there and that they'll do their best to help you settle in and get comfortable, and give you the help and support you need.

 

So I hope you make a speedy recovery, and look forward to seeing you back! you will be missed!

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Scaly Piscine

Hope it all works out for you. The anticipation will be much worse than the actual event you're anticipating, I'm sure you will be fine once you get settled in.

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CherryCola

Good luck Sofi! I'm very hopeful for you since you seem aware of your problems and you're taking the initiative to do something about it. No one can expect more from you.

 

I will think about you tomorrow. Otherwise, see you later I guess! :)

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Alex

It is very brave of you to admit that you need help, and to take such a big step towards feeling better. Well done, my friend.

 

I wish you good luck on your journey, and I will be sending you happy thoughts while you're gone! :)

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HalfFull

I hope this will work out for you Sofi. I know a lot of us on here will be thinking of you. Take Care.

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luckydip

Hi Sophie

By admitting to yourself you have a problem you have a already taken the first big step. Good luck on your road to recovery.

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Mike_GX101

Had no idea things were that bad but hope things go alright with you Sofi.  Perhaps you might be allowed internet access there because afterall you do need to maintain some level of socialising and networking which always helps the asperger's.  You could always ask them!!  This is afterall just like any other routine and not something you can necessarily just give up - it will be hard.  Well safe journey and see you out on the other side - smiling we hope!!

 

Mike

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Megsmum

Hi Sofi, I'm pleased to hear you are going to get the help you need. You are a lovely young lady and you deserve to be happy in life.

This is a very big step you are taking and I'm not surprised you are terrified, I think any one of us on here would be too. You are going into this with as much positivity as you can which will help you a lot. Don't rush your recovery, take your time and remember you are doing this for YOU. It may seem like a long and sometimes hard road to recovery but it will be worth it in the end.  

I look forward to seeing you back on here when you are feeling better. Take good care of yourself. You are stronger than you think. :)

 

I will be thinking of you. x

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Sofi

Thank you very much everyone for your support  :)

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Smithy The Wizard

It was brave of you to tell us about your problems. I hope you have a speedy recovery and good luck. May Asclepius help you! :D

Your friend

Connor AKA Smithy

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Sofi

It was brave of you to tell us about your problems. I hope you have a speedy recovery and good luck. May Asclepius help you! :D

Your friend

Connor AKA Smithy

 

Ahh thank you very much, that gave me a big smile at a time I needed it, I am getting very nervous. I hope Asclepius helps me  :)

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Chicken_55

Take care Sofi and be kind to yourself. Take some soft foam earplugs with you as these places can be quite noisy, some soothing music on an MP3 player and some calming scent. Keep away from upsetting episodes involving other patients; try and find a quiet room where you can relax.

I speak from first hand experience of a couple of hospital stays.

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Toran

I'm glad to hear you are getting the help you want and I think your very brave and show a lot of courage and we will all be here when your home again and back with us here on the forum. Take care and good luck xx

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Xmas

Hi Sofi, I noticed that you hadn't been posting much lately and I thought you were just having a bit of a breather and doing other things. I am glad that you are now taking steps that will help you in the long run and I wish you a steady progress to recovery.

 

I will be thinking of you and look forward to hearing from you when you are ready. :)  Take care x

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mary

Hi Sofi

 

Sorry I'm really late into this thread, but I wanted to reply after you'd be settled in anyway in case you can read this.

 

I am so pleased to hear that you've gone to the hospital of your own accord and that you are seeking the help that you know you need.  It might seem hard at the start, but things will get easier... as long as you put your mind to it and don't just give up at the first hurdle.

 

Hopefully when you are feeling better and more able to deal with things you'll find everything a lot less daunting and perhaps be able to do lots more things that you've been wanting to do, but been unable to.

 

I really hope that this works for you and that you start feeling better and more able to deal with things very soon!  Just remember, it won't happen overnight but you're in a place where you can get all the support you need!

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Dakohi

Good luck!! ^.^

 

Hospital may seem like a bad place. I was also in there a couple years ago, for mental and health reasons... but it did help me.

 

Good for you for getting help. n_n see you soon~

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Sofi

Hello! It's me! Thank you very much for these supportive replies. I am doing okay, it is harder than I expected but it is getting much easier now. I think the worst part of it is over, when I had to admit things, and now I am just learning some new things for being at home. 

I am just home for this weekend at the moment. I guess that is a good sign to be allowed that. Hopefully I won't be there too much longer, I just need to have things set up in place for when I finally go home so I don't fall back into bad routines again.

I'm just going to spend time with my mum when I am at home but still have to keep to the *strict* routines I have from the hospital... :) 

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