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Toran

Diagnosis

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Toran

I've had my diagnosis and I've been told i have aspergers this afternoon. Itsa relief to know eventually whats been baining me all my life. I feel a little odd strange even now I've been told but in a good way and i

have a support network now and so has my partner so things are picking up i hope its the start of a new understanding of life and why i feel the way i do.

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Toran

That's good! Yay! ^.^

That's good! Yay! ^.^

Thanks thats a good way explain it yay lol

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the strangest man

Congratulations dear chap, welcome officially but 2717 posts is a bit of a give a way.

Even more have another Yay!^_^

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Toran

Congratulations dear chap, welcome officially but 2717 posts is a bit of a give a way.

Even more have another Yay!^_^

Thank you friend :-)

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Nesf

Congratulations :D You've had your suspicions confirmed - that must be a relief for you :)

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iggy

That's great Toran, I know you said before you were worried about how you would feel of you didn't get an AS diagnosis after the obvious trials you have overcome over your life so far :) I'm very happy that you have been able to explain to your family and have access to support now :D

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Toran

Thanks nesf and Iggy its a big relief to find out that my suspitions were right and a few hours after I was told I feel like a huge weight has been removed from me. Will take a few days I guess but I have a support network now which will make a big difference for me for the first time I feel there's hope.

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Xmas

I am very pleased for you Toran, it must be such a relief for you. Someone has listened and understood, it makes such a difference I am sure. And I would like to echo the others...Yay!

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Toran

I am very pleased for you Toran, it must be such a relief for you. Someone has listened and understood, it makes such a difference I am sure. And I would like to echo the others...Yay!

Thank you it makes such a difference being heard and understood. The lady who did the assessment was very kind and understanding and gave a lot of information and contacts. It was such a good feeling to just be excepted for who I am with no other agendas other than helping me come to terms with things as they now are.

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spiderwoman0_2

That's great news, you must be so relieved :D

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Toran

That's great news, you must be so relieved :D

Certainly am spiderwoman i can now begin life knowing what my issues are finally.

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Toran

Ive found there are a lot more issues because of the diagnosis. Some people still wont believe I have it work has turned against me and im off sick again until a meeting to decide my future with the company. Im arguing with everyone because they dont understand how I feel or is it I dont understand them and Im wrong.

I cant seem to have an oppinion without someone saying its your aspergers talking so whats there left to do.

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Nesf

Ive found there are a lot more issues because of the diagnosis. Some people still wont believe I have it work has turned against me and im off sick again until a meeting to decide my future with the company. Im arguing with everyone because they dont understand how I feel or is it I dont understand them and Im wrong.

I cant seem to have an oppinion without someone saying its your aspergers talking so whats there left to do.

Yes, I get that from my sister and mum quite a bit. I think it's best you don't tell anyone else about it. i don't intend to tell anyone, after all, there's no reason why they should know. No one knows about it except family and a couple of my mum's friends she told. It seems really unfair that they are treating you like this at work, after all, haven't you done your job well up to now? What has changed? You are still the same person. What it comes down to is that people don't understand things that they aren't experiencing themselves.

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Toran

Yes, I get that from my sister and mum quite a bit. I think it's best you don't tell anyone else about it. i don't intend to tell anyone, after all, there's no reason why they should know. No one knows about it except family and a couple of my mum's friends she told. It seems really unfair that they are treating you like this at work, after all, haven't you done your job well up to now? What has changed? You are still the same person. What it comes down to is that people don't understand things that they aren't experiencing themselves.

I've always been the same but where I abide with the law within my job other drivers think nothing of breaking speed limits or road regulations just to keep the company happy. When they have got caught the company says its your own responsibility and they have to pay the fine and take the points on their licence. Now because I have this diagnosis they appear to be saying that's why you don't always get there on time because of the disability. So if I broke the road regulations like the others I would be OK whats that got to do with aspergers everybody has to abide by those rules or get the points on the licence. I think they are trying to use it as an excuse to say that's why I'm late sometimes and effecting the job. So they just want anyone prepared to drive fast then if they lose their licence just get somebody else that's the reason they are really doing it.

As regards to telling people I don't think I will bother as I was stupid to think with a diagnosis people would understand my mistake I don't think society is ready to except disabled people. No matter what so called help is out there when your in work or society the people themselves won't tolerate you that's how it seems from my experience so far anyway .

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Nesf

I've always been the same but where I abide with the law within my job other drivers think nothing of breaking speed limits or road regulations just to keep the company happy. When they have got caught the company says its your own responsibility and they have to pay the fine and take the points on their licence. Now because I have this diagnosis they appear to be saying that's why you don't always get there on time because of the disability. So if I broke the road regulations like the others I would be OK whats that got to do with aspergers everybody has to abide by those rules or get the points on the licence. I think they are trying to use it as an excuse to say that's why I'm late sometimes and effecting the job. So they just want anyone prepared to drive fast then if they lose their licence just get somebody else that's the reason they are really doing it.

As regards to telling people I don't think I will bother as I was stupid to think with a diagnosis people would understand my mistake I don't think society is ready to except disabled people. No matter what so called help is out there when your in work or society the people themselves won't tolerate you that's how it seems from my experience so far anyway .

Really, they have no right to complain about your work when all you are doing is abiding by the law. And that has nothing to do with your diagnosis. I know plenty of people who drive within the speed limit, that's a matter of personality and has nothing to do with being on the spectrum, though many on the spectrum are cautious drivers. And why should you have to pay fines unnecessarily? Perhaps you could write them a letter to explain your position?

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Toran

Really, they have no right to complain about your work when all you are doing is abiding by the law. And that has nothing to do with your diagnosis. I know plenty of people who drive within the speed limit, that's a matter of personality and has nothing to do with being on the spectrum, though many on the spectrum are cautious drivers. And why should you have to pay fines unnecessarily? Perhaps you could write them a letter to explain your position?

I've informed them in writing and they scheduled the meeting where they want to discuss it with me. I asked to go back to work before this meeting through my union representative but he informed me that they said stay on the sick as nothing had been agreed as yet.

Your right driving within the law has nothing to do with aspergers but I find trying to deal with it difficult because its common sense to me you abide by the Law. But they know I find dealing with things difficult sometimes and they say and do things that make me stressed because I they know how I am. Its got many times worse sinse my diagnosis I just think they want me out not because of the aspergers but its a good excuse so they can find somebody else like the others. Its definitely a white van culture and I don't fit in with them.

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Nesf

I've informed them in writing and they scheduled the meeting where they want to discuss it with me. I asked to go back to work before this meeting through my union representative but he informed me that they said stay on the sick as nothing had been agreed as yet.

Your right driving within the law has nothing to do with aspergers but I find trying to deal with it difficult because its common sense to me you abide by the Law. But they know I find dealing with things difficult sometimes and they say and do things that make me stressed because I they know how I am. Its got many times worse sinse my diagnosis I just think they want me out not because of the aspergers but its a good excuse so they can find somebody else like the others. Its definitely a white van culture and I don't fit in with them.

You need to be strong to stand up to them and be ready to defend your position, if you want to continue to work for them. Have you been working for them for long? If so, that is in your favour. Otherwise you could try to look around for alternative employment... would you be qualified for coach or bus driving? I've been on coach trips several times, and the drivers were always within the speed limit, stuck to a set timetable, and always very professional. It seems that they appreciate that kind of driver.

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Toran

You need to be strong to stand up to them and be ready to defend your position, if you want to continue to work for them. Have you been working for them for long? If so, that is in your favour. Otherwise you could try to look around for alternative employment... would you be qualified for coach or bus driving? I've been on coach trips several times, and the drivers were always within the speed limit, stuck to a set timetable, and always very professional. It seems that they appreciate that kind of driver.

Ive been working for them for almost seven years and I will certainly be standing up for myself at the meeting. I have information from the equality act 2010 the human rights act plus a letter to my employer from the doctor who diagnosed me. They have no cause to get rid of me thats the problem, because they havent been able to they are getting more spiteful and causing problems. I dont think they realise how stubborn I can be and how my obbsesions dont let me walk away like a lot of people. Its good in a way but my health does get effected then and I do have meltdowns and my anxiety and depression is worse.

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Nesf

Ive been working for them for almost seven years and I will certainly be standing up for myself at the meeting. I have information from the equality act 2010 the human rights act plus a letter to my employer from the doctor who diagnosed me. They have no cause to get rid of me thats the problem, because they havent been able to they are getting more spiteful and causing problems. I dont think they realise how stubborn I can be and how my obbsesions dont let me walk away like a lot of people. Its good in a way but my health does get effected then and I do have meltdowns and my anxiety and depression is worse.

It looks like you have thought through what you're going to say, so you'll be able to face them with confidence. How do you get on with your work colleagues? If you could get a colleague to put in a good word for you, that would help too. I hope everything goes well for you.

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Toran

It looks like you have thought through what you're going to say, so you'll be able to face them with confidence. How do you get on with your work colleagues? If you could get a colleague to put in a good word for you, that would help too. I hope everything goes well for you.

It hasn't gone well and I'm waiting for a further meeting about my future. The Autistic team that support me wanted to speak to my employer but they have refused to speak to them. Also my council has a work support group that are trying to help but they have refused them as well so they are forcing me into a meeting with no help at all.

I'm on the sick again with stress and had a meltdown over this a few weeks ago so I don't think they have much thought in helping me stay employeed .

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Nesf

It hasn't gone well and I'm waiting for a further meeting about my future. The Autistic team that support me wanted to speak to my employer but they have refused to speak to them. Also my council has a work support group that are trying to help but they have refused them as well so they are forcing me into a meeting with no help at all.

I'm on the sick again with stress and had a meltdown over this a few weeks ago so I don't think they have much thought in helping me stay employeed .

I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going well for you - the diagnosis shouldn't change anything, but i think a lot of employers react like that when they hear that an employee has such a diagnosis - they use it as an excuse to treat you differently, and as incapable of doing your job. It's so unfair.

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eatinurcheerios

I feel like when employers behave this way, it's because they want you to quit.  And if you quit, they get off scott-free for treating you badly and don't have to provide severance!  It's good you have some union protection.  Hang in there!

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Toran

I feel like when employers behave this way, it's because they want you to quit.  And if you quit, they get off scott-free for treating you badly and don't have to provide severance!  It's good you have some union protection.  Hang in there!

I know your right there but they have now conceded the adaptions I needed so it has been a positive outcome in the end. It took a number of meetings and help from my support network to get there but finely things have worked out ok.

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