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      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here.  
thelastrequiem

homoromantic/sexual people and aspergers

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Mike_GX101

Please feel free to reply by the way...

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Mike_GX101

If anything this not-replying culture is exactly the sort of thing that stigmatizes and prejudices those who differ from the perceived 'normal' orientation of straight.

 

I have seen it on other forums too where someone has posted something that has conflicted with the 'norm' and then they haven't been replied to while the 'read' counter increases ten-fold.  Such deafening silences are worrying to say the least and to those who maybe have just 'come out' it is quite saddening to say the least.

 

You asked the question Crow and I replied.  Maybe the topic has been lost in the ever-growing list of new topics but I think the topic is far from addressed.

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thelastrequiem

Dude, calm down. You're jumping to conclusions.

 

The fact I have not posted has nothing to do with "the norm" or anything like that.

 

I've just been too pre-occupied with other things to bother logging in.

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Willow
If anything this not-replying culture is exactly the sort of thing that stigmatizes and prejudices those who differ from the perceived 'normal' orientation of straight.

 

I have seen it on other forums too where someone has posted something that has conflicted with the 'norm' and then they haven't been replied to while the 'read' counter increases ten-fold.  Such deafening silences are worrying to say the least and to those who maybe have just 'come out' it is quite saddening to say the least.

 

You asked the question Crow and I replied.  Maybe the topic has been lost in the ever-growing list of new topics but I think the topic is far from addressed.

Topics getting lost is a normal occurrence on a forum - but you were replying directly to someone who isn't massively active and it's been a while since they started this thread - and like they pointed out, they've just been busy. People reply when they have the time, and if it is a touchy subject, sometimes they pass so they don't hurt anyones feelings, not just because it differs from the norm.

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Mike_GX101

Well unless old threads get closed they attract others to drop by and leave messages like I did.

 

Yes I understand the viewpoint that many people don't have the time.  I don't really.  I didn't have to reply.  But I made a bit of time to reply because I think there are some valid points raised on this thread.  I myself absolutely adore women; I don't know where I'd be without them.  But I do feel for those who maybe do not and can see many pitfalls and dilemmas which aught to be addressed to ensure equality for all.

 

I appreciate if it's a sensitive topic too that many might pass on replying but sadly the 'view' and 'reply' stats are clearly visible and when no one replies it kind of casts a negative reception and can cause bad feeling and with sensitive issues that can be perceived as prejudice. 

 

The only article I can find that can maybe help those on the spectrum who might have an alternative orientation to straight is here.  Hopefully there are other encouraging articles like this one that maybe the OT has found?!?

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Willow
sadly the 'view' and 'reply' stats are clearly visible

What do you mean?

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Bruce

People may, if they happen to be hetero, like me, simply not have much to say on this subject. Sorry looking & not replying manages to convey such a negative connotation but I, for one, wouldn't be thinking of that if somebody hadn't clearly explained it! So, no such connotation would be intended on my part &, quite possibly, on the parts of plenty of others who looked at the thread & simply hadn't got anything to say to it.

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Andy

But given this thread deals with such as what is not hetero, one would think those attracted might have something to say as why would they be attracted to a topic that deals with other than what is considered 'normal' ?

 

I personally believe this concept of normal is a lie and if anyone knows the depths I plumb in order to understand modern society they might understand why I believe as I do

 

For yep I blame religion again.

 

http://www.vexen.co.uk/religion/time_to_move_on.html

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thelastrequiem
What do you mean?

I think he means this:

47945484.png

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Bruce

Dunno why people view the thread but would it really be better if only the people that replied had done so? Don't get it, personally!

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Ben

I really wouldn't worry about it guys. I've seen better acting on Hollyoaks. 

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Mike_GX101

Clearly this topic is far from over and is still causing quite a number of people quite a bit of upset.

 

WillowHope I see you are the Founder of this forum and I sense you are getting the idea I'm playing down the site - well I'm not.  There is no problem with the 'view' and 'reply' stats being there.  The problem is when there is an imbalance like Naoto's snapshot clearly shows - 404 views vs 32 replies can be interpretted that an overwhelming majority turned their backs.  Democracy people.

 

Quite frankly I didn't start the topic and if it causes this much upset it should never have been raised.  But as it has been raised and as it has caused quite some controversy obviously it is far from closed and needs some redress if only to help those people affected by such issues and who might be feeling a little bit discriminated against to say the least both online and offline.

 

I've seen it on other forums and I know what people say when they don't know how to respond or if they should.  I too have felt that way when considering a reply to a topic and have procrastinated over replying.  So I hear you guys on that front.

 

Andy - I hear you too.  I don't believe there is a 'normal' either.  But sadly society is full of 'normals' and that's where the problem stems.  Just look at the debate about gay marriage for example - the only people (the majority) who are playing it down are the people who aren't even gay and aren't even affected by it.

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Bruce

Plenty of topics have about 10 times the view to reply stats, though!

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Ben
WillowHope I see you are the Founder of this forum and I sense you are getting the idea I'm playing down the site - well I'm not. 

 

You do realise the the issue one would have with this. When just recently we had the mods from ASD uk spin us a yarn. All of them in fact, even people who I thought were friends. 

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thelastrequiem

I started this thread out of curiosity (and a bit of boredom) and now it's getting ridiculous.

 

I have not come across any form of discrimination or prejudice since coming out as a lesbian. But then, maybe it's because I don't go around telling everyone about it? Why the heck would I tell anyone anyway? It's not like it's anyone's business that I'm attracted to women. Besides, it's not like it was a surprise or anything to my family and friends. I guess they always knew I was into women!

 

As for people not replying to this thread... Well, obviously they don't feel like they need to!

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Mike_GX101

In reply to Naoto:

 

Yes maybe that is the reason why - most people here are straight.  But what of the rights of those individuals who are not?  Are they not allowed to take part?  Are they not allowed to be proud of who they are?  We're not talking about going round shouting about it on every street corner - we're simply talking about giving people the right to free expression and to be heard equally.

 

I don't know if there are any other non-straight people on here.  Maybe there aren't.  But what if someone else joins who does identify as non-straight?  There could be many of them out there who might stumble across this site.  Hopefully they will feel encouraged to take part openly.  And hopefully others who may have felt prejudiced against coming out/are still discovering their orientation will be given free opportunity to come out too when ready.

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thelastrequiem
Yes maybe that is the reason why - most people here are straight.  But what of the rights of those individuals who are not?  Are they not allowed to take part?  Are they not allowed to be proud of who they are?  We're not talking about going round shouting about it on every street corner - we're simply talking about giving people the right to free expression and to be heard as equals.

 

I don't know if there are any other non-straight people on here.  Maybe there aren't.  But what if someone else joins who does identify as non-straight?  There could be many of them out there who might stumble across this site.  Hopefully they will feel encouraged to take part openly.  And hopefully others who may have felt prejudiced against coming out will be given free opportunity to too.

Well, I pretty much pointed out that I'm a lesbian, so... Yeah.

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Mike_GX101

And I applaud you for that.

 

There may be many more out there.  I'm sure you're not alone.

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thelastrequiem
And I applaud you for that.

 

There may be many more out there.  I'm sure you're not alone.

I'm just alone in the fact that I'm a lesbian that doesn't play dudebro shooters.

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Bruce

There definitely are people on the spectrum with various sexualities, I've 'met' them in other forums, as I think I said before. Maybe some already here that aren't ready to say so yet!

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mary
Yes maybe that is the reason why - most people here are straight.  But what of the rights of those individuals who are not?  Are they not allowed to take part?  Are they not allowed to be proud of who they are?  We're not talking about going round shouting about it on every street corner - we're simply talking about giving people the right to free expression and to be heard equally.

 

I don't know if there are any other non-straight people on here.  Maybe there aren't.  But what if someone else joins who does identify as non-straight?  There could be many of them out there who might stumble across this site.  Hopefully they will feel encouraged to take part openly.  And hopefully others who may have felt prejudiced against coming out/are still discovering their orientation will be given free opportunity to come out too when ready.

 

I don't know where the theory that most people here are straight has come from?  I don't know that there has been some sort of poll to see which sexuality 'most' people identify with.  Granted some people have commented but I'd not say it was 'most' of the forum.

 

I haven't seen anywhere on here where people have been treated differently for whatever sexuality they identify with, in fact I think there have been some quite open and frank discussions where people seemed to have felt comfortable having these conversations.

 

Why should anyone's sexuality change the level of support they get from a forum like this?  I can't see where this comes from.  I would think that rather than someone's sexuality being an issue it'd be more based on personality types and who 'clicks' with who as to what support they'd get and from whom.

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Ben

As per oakers. 

 

 

I'll also add, that I don't think about or care about someone's sexuality. It's private and none of my business. This is 2013 now, and I think most people can make the leap in their mind that a man can love a man, a woman can love a woman, in the same way a man loves a woman. 

 

If they haven't got the brains to see it that way, then just pat them on the back and move on. 

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thelastrequiem

Can I just say that Oakers is the most awesome person ever right now?

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mary
As per oakers. 

 

I'll also add, that I don't think about or care about someone's sexuality. It's private and none of my business. This is 2013 now, and I think most people can make the leap in their mind that a man can love a man, a woman can love a woman, in the same way a man loves a woman. 

 

If they haven't got the brains to see it that way, then just pat them on the back and move on. 

 

Agreed... if a person wishes to disclose their sexuality that is up to them, but they should not be victimised for it.  It's a very antiquated view of society if people feel that someone's sexuality should come under any sort of scrutiny, or for them to be subjected to any sort of abuse / bullying just because someone holds a different view.

 

I'd love to 'like' your post more than just once Ben, but alas, you'll just have to know I think that!! ;)

 

Can I just say that Oakers is the most awesome person ever right now?

 

Haha... I didn't know I'd said anything particularly special!? ;)

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thelastrequiem
Haha... I didn't know I'd said anything particularly special!? ;)

Well, you pretty much pointed out that one dude's flawed logic.

 

Because really, no one knows for certain that everyone here is straight.

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