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thelastrequiem

homoromantic/sexual people and aspergers

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BirdSong

Statistically 1 in 25 people claim to be homosexual and 1 in 25 bi-sexual. In my experience of AS Sites about the same rate of regular users have made the same claim. As some users will be keeping it to themselves on AS sites it may be higher for Aspies but then not everyone will be in a position to state themselves as homosexual or bisexual on a census form as they may hiding it from someone eg a parent, so it might balance out. Either way, I honestly don't think theres much difference in it though given certain similarities I can see how there might be a slightly higher rate for Aspies, but who knows?

 

 At Uni, one of my housemates did a media project where she was trying to prove that every single human is bisexual but that the vast majority of us have been conditioned to think that we are not. I certainly thought that this was a fascinating concept but despite this opening my mind to the idea that in different life circumstances we might be able to have 'encounters' with the gender opposite to the one we are usually attracted to, I can honestly say that I have never felt any attraction to anyone other than a female, but I accept and respect each persons own personal preferences be it through birth or choice.

yep I recon rates would be on par with the rest of society if not a little higher as the internal logic of aspies may allow them to break social norms with less trepidation.

 

I'm with your housemate.  Its a social construct, todays verson of love and relationships, and from an early age we are taught to be attracted to the opposite sex.  In reality, if you are open minded enough to concider samesex individuals and find someone who you click with, then there is only your own limitations on what is "normal" holding you back. 

 

I should admitt that I myself am Bi and have been in a long term relationship with a woman for nearly 10 years

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BirdSong

So I haven't read all the posts, its a hot topic!

 

But I want to let the author know I am Bi and am in a long term realtionship with a woman, we'd be married if I wasn't so dam scared of loads of people at a wedding  ;) 

 

I don't have any figures to back this up but I read recently on a profile for women with ASD:

 

that women with ASD are more likely (than non ASD women) to be open to the possibility of homosexuality as they are less restricted to social concepts of norms as compared to non ASD women.

 

This fits with me, and it was actually a relief reading it as this is a great way to explain how I feel about my own sexuality and the journey I took discovering it.

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3.14159265

 

I think that, whilst this is negative (and probably wrong, I'm just throwing the idea out there), those with AS, a lot of the time, crave normality and to be seen as 'normal'

I'm not like that

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null

I always thought that quite a high proportion of AS people are gay, not the other way round! I myself consider myself bisexual with a strong preference for women. I've never had any encounters with men before but it's something I'd like to try very much

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waterboatman

I am very much a grey area, I have never had any intimate relationship with anyone.

​I have been attracted to people of both obvious sexes.

I doubt that I will ever an inmate relationship, all I want is someone to talk to.

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史越瀚

I feel like from a theoretical level, everyone should be potentially bisexual.  Maybe there are some exceptions, but I think most people have the potential to enjoy being with both sexes.  There have been cultures (like ancient Greece, and samurai-era Japan) where it was socially expected that men would be bisexual. 

 

In college I identified myself as bisexual.  But my two encounters with men I didn't enjoy.  But I don't know if that is because I don't like men, or because I don't like drunken sex with strangers.  I never had a one-night stand with a woman so I don't know if I would like that better.

 

My long-tern relationships have been with women and now I am happily married to a woman.  My days of sexual experimentation are behind me.

 

But I still define myself as a (theoretical) bisexual. 

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null

I think you might be right about this. I think most people just unconsciously choose the sex they're most attracted to but still have the potential to be attracted to people of their non-chosen sex

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Mihaela

We meet again, Laddo! :)

I agree completely and there's much evidence to support this.  A major factor in our sexual orientation is social expectation/peer pressure.  Of course, genetics and childhood experiences play a big part too. 

However, being on the spectrum adds another interesting dimension.  We are far more likely to be both asexual and hypersexual, and have fluid or dysphoric gender identities.  Physically we're more likely to be androgynous.  I find the whole area utterly fascinating, and since I realised I had AS (after so many years of ignorance) studying it has become a big part of my general interest in psychology.  I'm even gradually developing theories of my own - based on my own complex experiences, meeting many aspies in real life, reading forums like this - and not least on 'reading between the lines' of established theories.

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EriBug

This is really interesting. I've heard that Aspergers is a 'heightening of male traits', which is an odd way to put it, but may account for the more women in the spectrum, if not being lesbian/bi, then feeling more transgender or agender in a proportion larger than NT. I myself am genderfluid and bi, and tend to find the more stressed I get, the more Aspie, then the more masculine I get.

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A8234

I myself am near enough gay I think. I believe I could be romantically attracted to a woman, but its not an obvious initial attraction like I have about males. For me personally being with a male feels more secure and special for some reason, perhaps there is a little less expectation/stress for a male to be in relationship with another man, than to be with a woman. 

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slaberjamps

And I applaud you for that.

 

There may be many more out there.  I'm sure you're not alone.

She's not....

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Alice

I havent read all the posts but in response to the original question, I would agree and say that both heterosexuality and homosexuality are less common in AS individuals than in NTs. NT's are more likely (% of their population) to be in the polarities: Homosexuality, Heterosexuality

In general, I think Autistic adults are more likely to be in the middle-ground: Bi-sexual, Pan-sexual, A-sexual, Unspecified, or relate to a fluid/changeable sexuality -or a continuum of sexuality.
Also more likely to personally identify as adrogenous/ relate to androgeny or have a more gender-neutral (or just less bias to one gender) composition of traits (in appearance or personality). Less girly girls, and less hyper-masculine bravado.. 

Im not sure about transgender - relating to the opposite gender more so than biological gender, because Aspies dont seem to have as strong gender identity regardless which is mostly social conditioning anyway. Online sources say homosexuality is more common in Aspies populations (as well as any alternative sexualities) so I could be totally wrong, just my current thoughts on the topic.

 

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antago
On March 6, 2013 at 5:03 PM, Toran said:

Thats a very open minded view sofi made me think about that one in truth. Should you reject what a person is because of the body still the same person inside afterall isn't it that you like respect or love. In the spirit world we dont have a sex reincarnation can be male or female so your rejecting the being not the person. A very good thought to ponder thanks sofi

No.

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