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    • Willow

      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here.  
Willow

What age did you get diagnosed?

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Scaly Piscine

I was diagnosed around my 23rd birthday. It was a bit late by then and didn't really help me as I was at one of the lowest times in my life. I ended up acting a lot more like someone with AS after I was diagnosed. It was another thing to be self-conscious about when I was in social situations, it also created a them and me mentality which is further emphasised with the discriminatory coverage aspies are faced with in the media. 

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Mark
I was diagnosed around my 23rd birthday. It was a bit late by then and didn't really help me as I was at one of the lowest times in my life. I ended up acting a lot more like someone with AS after I was diagnosed. It was another thing to be self-conscious about when I was in social situations, it also created a them and me mentality which is further emphasised with the discriminatory coverage aspies are faced with in the media. 

Discriminatory coverage?

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Willow
Discriminatory coverage?

The way the media portrays disabilities - or in this example, how they portray Aspergers/Autism.

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Scaly Piscine

The media loves to cover Aspies as though the only ones that exist are children, and they're one of three types - Rain Man, geek or angry/violent. The condition is basically used as a scapegoat whenever some kid goes off it with a gun in America - see Sandy Hook. This is all apart from the way it is commonplace in the media to use terminology like person x suffers from Asperger's syndrome or person y is an Asperger's sufferer. So yea we get hammered by the media.  

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thelastrequiem

I don't know the exact age I was diagnosed at, but I estimate it at 11 years old. Back then, no one had a clue what AS was. I remember how mum had print outs of fact sheets just to try to understand things, as no one could explain it.

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LizW95

I was 13. It took them a year to diagnose me also I waited seven years for a statement for Speech and Language and dyslexia. 

 

It sucked pretty bad as I had moved secondary schools as the other one was sh*** with special needs and the other one was great but I rushed into moving! 

 

I wish primary had picked up on it sooner. 

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edion

I was diagnosed last year when i was 30 and as for Willow it sucked really hard. At first i thought it would be better and easier to understand things but no way. I do not wish that anyone get their diagnose this late in life. School is important and it is therefore important to pic up this signals as early as possible. The job Willow is doing with this forum her site and youtube videos is outstanding and important as hell.  

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iggy
I was diagnosed last year when i was 30 and as for Willow it sucked really hard. At first i thought it would be better and easier to understand things but no way. I do not wish that anyone get their diagnose this late in life. School is important and it is therefore important to pic up this signals as early as possible. The job Willow is doing with this forum her site and youtube videos is outstanding and important as hell.  

Is it still better late then never though? I would probably prefer to find out late on life rather than thinking I was a weirdo and no answers.

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Bruce

If you've only been diagnosed a year, it certainly can seem more difficult at first but, hopefully at least, it might get better. Maybe it'll help you understand some things better, &/or it'll help you to meet fellow Aspies - or both

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Nesf

It seems that now a lot of children are being correctly identified with AS. I wonder how many adults are around aged 30+ who missed getting a diagnosis but were just considered socially awkward, shy, erratic, distant and in their own world, daydreamer, troublemaker, social anxiety disorder, depressive and all the other labels undiagnosed kids got prior to 1994. If one in a hundred are one the spectrum there must be quite a few out there, still finding everyday life tough and not knowing why.

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weebo

I was diagnosed in 2009 i was 29 very late i was also diagnosed with dyslexia in 2005 that's was the stay of getting my issues recognised and it was not easy to get done

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Shibumi

As mentioned in my "say hello" post, I was officially diagnosed at 49 but had been trying to sort out getting a diagnosis for about a year or so prior to that.

I had realised by my mid to late twenties though and said to my parents that "I just didn't feel I was wired up the same as other people", that was my way of saying that I had already recognised some things like ( I won't say lack here as that's another debate) my inability to express empathy with others.

I also even then had little or no interest in socialising much and friendships tended to be fairly shallow and transient and I would not put much effort in to maintaining them. I also recognised that other people seemed to be much better at picking themselves up and dusting themselves off and getting on with life when it threw them a curve ball whereas I would have trouble dealing with and moving on from the emotions involved.

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Nesf
As mentioned in my "say hello" post, I was officially diagnosed at 49 but had been trying to sort out getting a diagnosis for about a year or so prior to that. I had realised by my mid to late twenties though and said to my parents that "I just didn't feel I was wired up the same as other people", that was my way of saying that I had already recognised some things like ( I won't say lack here as that's another debate) my inability to express empathy with others. I also even then had little or no interest in socialising much and friendships tended to be fairly shallow and transient and I would not put much effort in to maintaining them. I also recognised that other people seemed to be much better at picking themselves up and dusting themselves off and getting on with life when it threw them a curve ball whereas I would have trouble dealing with and moving on from the emotions involved.

I'm not very good at keeping in touch withb people either, I tend to withdraw into myself, sometimes i have to socialise for various reasons but it feels more like a chore... not necessarily unpleasant unless there's a lot noise... just boring because i'm unable to join in and don't participate on an emotional level, I don't feel what the others are feeling, I'm a blank. I feel empathy at a logical level, not an emotional one. I do have a couple of friends, mainly long distance friendships, I don't have close friends.

How did you feel about your diagnosis?

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Shibumi
I'm not very good at keeping in touch withb people either, I tend to withdraw into myself, sometimes i have to socialise for various reasons but it feels more like a chore... not necessarily unpleasant unless there's a lot noise... just boring because i'm unable to join in and don't participate on an emotional level, I don't feel what the others are feeling, I'm a blank. I feel empathy at a logical level, not an emotional one. I do have a couple of friends, mainly long distance friendships, I don't have close friends.How did you feel about your diagnosis?
I tend to talk to people on the internet for a couple of weeks fairly regularly then also tend to lapse into not not talking to them again as I just find general chit-chat hard to do. Shortly after either they do or I remove them from my friend list in what ever app site I'm using.

The only real exception to this I've found are the virtual friends I've made while playing world of Warcraft, I've taken various timeouts from playing ranging from a couple of months to 2 years but every time I start playing again they are still there and happy to see me back. They have gotten used to me over the years and know that I tend to just go off into the virtual world and do my own thing mostly but I'm there if they want to chat or do something together if they want. Hopefully now I know about my AS, I might be able to find a few friends in the real world who are as accepting.

I understand what you mean about the empathy thing, my head tells me I "should" feel something but I just don't feel it in an emotional way, at least not very often.

I'm still coming to terms with my diagnosis really (haven't had much time to focus on it with everything else I have going on) but having managed to do a bit of reading ,well quite a lot in fact, I have at least found some answers as to why I have done or not been able to do at various points in my life or why I have behaved in a certain way or why I have found it hard to maintain relationships or friendships over the years.

As per my previous post, I had an idea that I wasn't the same as others for a good few years, getting the diagnosis for me so far has been a positive thing now I just need to learn how to cope with its impact on my life from now on and try to do as much as I can cope with at any given point in time.

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Nesf
I tend to talk to people on the internet for a couple of weeks fairly regularly then also tend to lapse into not not talking to them again as I just find general chit-chat hard to do. Shortly after either they do or I remove them from my friend list in what ever app site I'm using.

The only real exception to this I've found are the virtual friends I've made while playing world of Warcraft, I've taken various timeouts from playing ranging from a couple of months to 2 years but every time I start playing again they are still there and happy to see me back. They have gotten used to me over the years and know that I tend to just go off into the virtual world and do my own thing mostly but I'm there if they want to chat or do something together if they want. Hopefully now I know about my AS, I might be able to find a few friends in the real world who are as accepting.

I understand what you mean about the empathy thing, my head tells me I "should" feel something but I just don't feel it in an emotional way, at least not very often.

I'm still coming to terms with my diagnosis really (haven't had much time to focus on it with everything else I have going on) but having managed to do a bit of reading ,well quite a lot in fact, I have at least found some answers as to why I have done or not been able to do at various points in my life or why I have behaved in a certain way or why I have found it hard to maintain relationships or friendships over the years.

As per my previous post, I had an idea that I wasn't the same as others for a good few years, getting the diagnosis for me so far has been a positive thing now I just need to learn how to cope with its impact on my life from now on and try to do as much as I can cope with at any given point in time.

Yes, a diagnosis does have a considerable impact and it makes you examine your life in a new light, and takes a while to come to terms with. Reading about it certainly helps, I've also read some books on the subject. My family criticises me for obsessing about it, but reading about it is my way of gathering information and understanding it better, and since it's been affecting me for 40 years without me knowing what it is, I feel it's justified.

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Autistic4EVER

I could be wrong on this but I think I may have had been diagnosed with Autism when I was around 4 or 5 years old.

 

If not then my Mother and the school knew that I had some form of Autism, I was pretty obvious back then lol I was diagnosed with Asperger's/Fragile X Syndrome when I was only 11 years old...

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Nesf
I could be wrong on this but I think I may have had been diagnosed with Autism when I was around 4 or 5 years old.

 

If not then my Mother and the school knew that I had some form of Autism, I was pretty obvious back then lol I was diagnosed with Asperger's/Fragile X Syndrome when I was only 11 years old...

Have you asked your mum about this?

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HalfFull

I was 28 which in my opinion was ideal at least for my own approach to life. School was fairly normal though I was terrible at exams and 2 subjects were ungraded and I was very introverted and bullied a bit, at one point a lot. Then I struggled at first on college courses, but presevered, finally getting to Uni at 22. Although I was quite a lonesome student (some minor friendships but not one strong one), I muddled through. It could be lonely but I was determined to get through and I did, but I gradually figured out that 'something' was different, but having not heard of AS couldn't put my finger on it. It was shortly after graduating when jobs weren't working out that my Classroom Assistant mother revealed similarities between me and some of her pupils. I was 26 then and got diagnosed at 28. At first I wasn't keen to accept but by the time I was diagnosed I'd had time to make sense of it and see the positives and accept that I am what I am, but in fact 'knowing' provides opportunities and 'can' open new doors and certainly paves the way for support that I may not have had. I've rarely had 'patronising' support, most of it has been very general as most of my problems are fairly general, but I'm no NT by any means although I am very independent apart from the occasional Spring clean of my flat by my parents because I can't be as thorough as they can, but I can manage general cleaning and tidying when I have the time and energy. I'm hopeless at most other practical things. If I had been diagnosed at school, I might not have been given independence as my confidence might not have grown enough and I might have lived with my parents still and not worked, but whilst I do find work and living alone a struggle, I do get by and despite a fair bit of stress in the last year or so, overall I'm actually quite happy-go-lucky.

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Autistic4EVER
Have you asked your mum about this?

 

me and my Mother don't really talk to each other anymore since she dropped me off to live with my Father, or abandon me at the age of 23. Actually me and her side of the family don't get along very much.  

 

My dad thinks that he might have Asperger's as well as my Mother from what he remembers about her. My theory is that my Grandmother Brenda was born with Fragile X Syndrome, judging from the photo's of her of when she was young and her heart condition. In some weird ways I see some of my Grandma Brenda's features in me and people born with Fragile X usually have some sort of heart condition (I think). 

 

So I think that both my parents are Aspies, but they pretty much didn't grow up with that label and was under the radar do to chance or something :/ 

 

I'm personally against labels because it seems to give teacher's and educators an excuse to not really work with the individuals, it's  much easier to group children with labels and throw them all in a separate classroom, then to teach them the life skills that they'll need for when they graduate school. 

 

Sorry I don't mean to ramble on and on lol

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Nesf
I was 28 which in my opinion was ideal at least for my own approach to life. School was fairly normal though I was terrible at exams and 2 subjects were ungraded and I was very introverted and bullied a bit, at one point a lot. Then I struggled at first on college courses, but presevered, finally getting to Uni at 22. Although I was quite a lonesome student (some minor friendships but not one strong one), I muddled through. It could be lonely but I was determined to get through and I did, but I gradually figured out that 'something' was different, but having not heard of AS couldn't put my finger on it. It was shortly after graduating when jobs weren't working out that my Classroom Assistant mother revealed similarities between me and some of her pupils. I was 26 then and got diagnosed at 28. At first I wasn't keen to accept but by the time I was diagnosed I'd had time to make sense of it and see the positives and accept that I am what I am, but in fact 'knowing' provides opportunities and 'can' open new doors and certainly paves the way for support that I may not have had. I've rarely had 'patronising' support, most of it has been very general as most of my problems are fairly general, but I'm no NT by any means although I am very independent apart from the occasional Spring clean of my flat by my parents because I can't be as thorough as they can, but I can manage general cleaning and tidying when I have the time and energy. I'm hopeless at most other practical things. If I had been diagnosed at school, I might not have been given independence as my confidence might not have grown enough and I might have lived with my parents still and not worked, but whilst I do find work and living alone a struggle, I do get by and despite a fair bit of stress in the last year or so, overall I'm actually quite happy-go-lucky.

There is some advantage in a late diagnosis in that people have expectations of you and you are pushed to become independent. I don't think it necessarily helps confidence, though. because you might not understand why you can't do thing that come naturally to everyone else.

 

me and my Mother don't really talk to each other anymore since she dropped me off to live with my Father, or abandon me at the age of 23. Actually me and her side of the family don't get along very much.  

 

My dad thinks that he might have Asperger's as well as my Mother from what he remembers about her. My theory is that my Grandmother Brenda was born with Fragile X Syndrome, judging from the photo's of her of when she was young and her heart condition. In some weird ways I see some of my Grandma Brenda's features in me and people born with Fragile X usually have some sort of heart condition (I think). 

 

So I think that both my parents are Aspies, but they pretty much didn't grow up with that label and was under the radar do to chance or something :/ 

 

I'm personally against labels because it seems to give teacher's and educators an excuse to not really work with the individuals, it's  much easier to group children with labels and throw them all in a separate classroom, then to teach them the life skills that they'll need for when they graduate school. 

 

Sorry I don't mean to ramble on and on lol

Sorry to hear about your mother abandoning you. That must be hard to deal with.

 

Yes, it does tend to run in families... I'm an exception because no one in my family has it, except a distant uncle who possibly had it. If you really wanted to know you could ask to see your medical records, but since you're againt labels, I guess it might not be so important to you to do so. I think that there are both advantages and disadvantages to labels, the benefit of a label depend on how much the person needs help. If you can manage without the label and feel you don't need it, why bother?

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Matt G

Technically have no official diagnosis. Unofficially was dxed by my Mum at 19 and it answered a lot of question but I didn't really feel like doing anything about it till I was in my mid-20s and had moved to a new city. Previously I just felt that the world was wierd, now knowing that there was something unusual in 'my' head meant that I became a bit more tolerant of the wierdness in the world. Tried to get an official diagnosis, failed due to an ignorant GP but now most accept me as Aspie and I'm not sure I really need an official dx now. 

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Nesf
Technically have no official diagnosis. Unofficially was dxed by my Mum at 19 and it answered a lot of question but I didn't really feel like doing anything about it till I was in my mid-20s and had moved to a new city. Previously I just felt that the world was wierd, now knowing that there was something unusual in 'my' head meant that I became a bit more tolerant of the wierdness in the world. Tried to get an official diagnosis, failed due to an ignorant GP but now most accept me as Aspie and I'm not sure I really need an official dx now. 

If you wanted one you could always try a different GP.

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Autistic4EVER
There is some advantage in a late diagnosis in that people have expectations of you and you are pushed to become independent. I don't think it necessarily helps confidence, though. because you might not understand why you can't do thing that come naturally to everyone else.

 

Sorry to hear about your mother abandoning you. That must be hard to deal with.

 

Yes, it does tend to run in families... I'm an exception because no one in my family has it, except a distant uncle who possibly had it. If you really wanted to know you could ask to see your medical records, but since you're againt labels, I guess it might not be so important to you to do so. I think that there are both advantages and disadvantages to labels, the benefit of a label depend on how much the person needs help. If you can manage without the label and feel you don't need it, why bother?

 

I'm sorry ...

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Toran
As long as you, or someone else, doesn't push you too hard (i.e. more than you can handle)! I feel like I was pushed too hard by my school, parents, friends, myself etc. and that's what led me to a mental breakdown, after which I wasn't able to attend school...So I think it's important to find a balance between pushing yourself, and not pushing too hard...And if there is something you can't do, it's OK to use Asperger's as an "exscuse" or reason.

Its taken me 46 years to discover that ive always tried way beyond what im capable of and gone through bouts of depresion and anxiety all my life. It feels like ive been set free its just a shame I had to use the best years of my life to discover it. Its vital that younger people get diagnosed very early to give them the best start possible in life. Im not bitter maybe a bit sad so its vital we get behind willow in all her good work.

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Sofi

I was four when I was diagnosed and so it was great that I was able to get all the help and support I needed and progressed so much through my childhood, but at the same, I sometimes feel as if I was 'locked away' from the world in the special school I went to and kept so separate from the 'normal' kids which would have been a good influence and example for me. So, I feel like there needs to be more of a balance for these kids. Nowadays, I know there is more knowledge about inclusion. 

For the most part, I am definitely glad I was diagnosed this young. I just have a bit of resentment about my school experience.

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