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    • Willow

      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here.  
Willow

What age did you get diagnosed?

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HalfFull

I agree about getting diagnosed fairly early. 28 worked for me which 19 might have been too soon, but had I been say 37 it could have gone too far the other way. For some however, it should be the primary school years. I think it depends on how much support needed or independence capable of.

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Shibumi
Its taken me 46 years to discover that ive always tried way beyond what im capable of and gone through bouts of depresion and anxiety all my life. It feels like ive been set free its just a shame I had to use the best years of my life to discover it. Its vital that younger people get diagnosed very early to give them the best start possible in life. Im not bitter maybe a bit sad so its vital we get behind willow in all her good work.

Its the same for me too

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ildana3

I was around 28 (now 33) when I discovered Aspergers.  Had all the classic female signs as described by Willow, Rudy SImone, The AnMish - there's a lot of really good YouTube vids up now.  Sodid what any good Aspie does - start the book collection!!

 

I was halfway through an engineering degree at the time, but never pushed a diagnosis.  I now find work in construction very hard, as this project is all about the politics and the work is challenging only in the sense that there's a lot of it, long hours and lots of people to deal with.

 

Has anyone had any positive work experiences they can share?  I have to say, teaching English (TEFL) was great while it lasted, as I had a flexible day with "acting" in class for 2 hours at a time.

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Nesf
I was around 28 (now 33) when I discovered Aspergers.  Had all the classic female signs as described by Willow, Rudy SImone, The AnMish - there's a lot of really good YouTube vids up now.  Sodid what any good Aspie does - start the book collection!!

 

I was halfway through an engineering degree at the time, but never pushed a diagnosis.  I now find work in construction very hard, as this project is all about the politics and the work is challenging only in the sense that there's a lot of it, long hours and lots of people to deal with.

 

Has anyone had any positive work experiences they can share?  I have to say, teaching English (TEFL) was great while it lasted, as I had a flexible day with "acting" in class for 2 hours at a time.

You did TEFL? That's what I did too, but couldn't cope with the challenges of the classroom. What are your experiences of this? Didn't you find the "acting" exhausting? I used to work at least 6 hours and found it exhausting, and couldn't cope with discipline and classroom noise. I still do some private tuition, but my days of classroom teaching are over.

 

Yes, I have all the classic female traits too.

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Autistic4EVER

To be honest nesf, I dunno why i'm against anything anymore to be honest.

 

I don't trust my beliefs because I'm always being told that I'm wrong or offending people with them and I'm beginning to suspect some ignorance on my half...

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Nesf
To be honest nesf, I dunno why i'm against anything anymore to be honest.

 

I don't trust my beliefs because I'm always being told that I'm wrong or offending people with them and I'm beginning to suspect some ignorance on my half...

There's no right or wrong when it comes to beliefs, everyone has the right to believe in what they want to believe in. No one should ever be offended by another person's belief.

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ildana3
I'm personally against labels because it seems to give teacher's and educators an excuse to not really work with the individuals, it's  much easier to group children with labels and throw them all in a separate classroom, then to teach them the life skills that they'll need for when they graduate school. 

 

Sorry I don't mean to ramble on and on lol

 

Don't apologise - it's interesting to know other people's views.  My experience as an outed Aspie is fairly limited and, although my partner's family are aware of it, I haven't even broached the subject with my (particularly unsupportive) father.

 

On labels, I find it useful to categorise and hence feel as though I have an understanding of.  Not always the way, but now I'm working, have to face the NT world and work alongside it.

 

 

You did TEFL? That's what I did too, but couldn't cope with the challenges of the classroom. What are your experiences of this? Didn't you find the "acting" exhausting? I used to work at least 6 hours and found it exhausting, and couldn't cope with discipline and classroom noise. I still do some private tuition, but my days of classroom teaching are over.

 

Yes, I have all the classic female traits too.

 

:) It's nice to know there's more than one of us - an explanation, if you like...

 

I coped with teaching (I'm not a natural, by any means) by limiting the number of hours and fulfilling other interests around that.  Unfortunately it doesn't pay well doing it that way.  I'm now earning enough to own a house, but it's taking its toll already.

 

On the classroom management, at least my students were all adults or, when not, only one-to-one (very intelligent) kids.  Mind you, my first ever class was a nightmare - a dozen 14-year old boys who found it funny to throw lighted bits of paper out of the fourth floor window.  Before I even walked into the room!!  That class didn't work very well for me, let's put it that way...

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Nesf
Don't apologise - it's interesting to know other people's views.  My experience as an outed Aspie is fairly limited and, although my partner's family are aware of it, I haven't even broached the subject with my (particularly unsupportive) father.

 

On labels, I find it useful to categorise and hence feel as though I have an understanding of.  Not always the way, but now I'm working, have to face the NT world and work alongside it.

 

 

 

:) It's nice to know there's more than one of us - an explanation, if you like...

 

I coped with teaching (I'm not a natural, by any means) by limiting the number of hours and fulfilling other interests around that.  Unfortunately it doesn't pay well doing it that way.  I'm now earning enough to own a house, but it's taking its toll already.

 

On the classroom management, at least my students were all adults or, when not, only one-to-one (very intelligent) kids.  Mind you, my first ever class was a nightmare - a dozen 14-year old boys who found it funny to throw lighted bits of paper out of the fourth floor window.  Before I even walked into the room!!  That class didn't work very well for me, let's put it that way...

Certainly it's easier to teach adults, and the smaller the group, the easier it is. I could manage it as long as the students were cooperative, willing participants - but there are always one or two kids who could sense my weakness and exploited it to disrupt the class, and I didn't pick up on this until too late and lacked the decisiveness to deal with it effectively. I could never pick up on the mood of the students, either individually or as a group. Here's a longer post I wrote on another forum on the topic:

 

I taught English as a foreign language for a number of years and found it tough. Firstly, I had problems with class management and discipline. Kids will always test their boundaries and to maintain discipline you to respond to problems quickly and decisively, which I was never able to do, they knew it and took advantage. Another problem was engaging the students. I tended to lecture and do too much talking, my voice is a bit toneless and they got bored, which led to discipline problems. Trying to keep the students engaged needs good communication skills, enthusiasm and a lot of energy, and after 6 hours of teaching I was totally exhausted. Also keeping myself organised was a real challenge. I was asked to do yearly and semester planning, which I found very difficult. It was easy to plan a single lesson, but a whole semester is a different matter... I felt overwhelmed, stressed and unable to cope. Another thing I couldn't cope with was being observed while teaching. Also, a school staffroom is just like a big office, including all the politics that goes with it. Staffroom politics is completely over my head and I was always the last to catch on to what was going on.

 

Also, background noise was a big problem, because the classroom was next to the school yard, either from the yard outside or from the students themselves who were talking in class. During the break I used to cope by going into the library, resting my head on my arms, and shutting my eyes to try and block out my surroundings.

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ildana3

I found that doing a lot of group activities - in 2s or 3s - freed up mental space for me during the class.  Mind you, I would always be preparing what I was going to say/do next with them at quiet points.  This was mainly because I spent as little time preparing as possible as that meant partaking in staffroom banter.

 

That was my big thing - I've never been good at banter and, well, what do you say to teachers who are not going through the same emotional rollercoaster at every lesson?  Thus the minimal time spent in the staffroom speaking as little as possible and the other teachers probably regarded me as being a bit weird.  I did manage two years there, though and then came back to the UK and taught here for a couple of years while I did my engineering degree.  I've been lucky in a sense, even though I found all the social side really hard and, most of all, tiring.

 

Nesf - where did you teach and what are you doing now? 

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Nesf
I found that doing a lot of group activities - in 2s or 3s - freed up mental space for me during the class.  Mind you, I would always be preparing what I was going to say/do next with them at quiet points.  This was mainly because I spent as little time preparing as possible as that meant partaking in staffroom banter.

 

That was my big thing - I've never been good at banter and, well, what do you say to teachers who are not going through the same emotional rollercoaster at every lesson?  Thus the minimal time spent in the staffroom speaking as little as possible and the other teachers probably regarded me as being a bit weird.  I did manage two years there, though and then came back to the UK and taught here for a couple of years while I did my engineering degree.  I've been lucky in a sense, even though I found all the social side really hard and, most of all, tiring.

 

Nesf - where did you teach and what are you doing now? 

Yes, the group activities do help to give you a mental break. I find it very tiring to have to talk and listen all the time. The students prefer group work, too.

 

I can't do banter to save my life. I often don't understand it and when I do I don't know how to respond. I can't come up with spontaneous jokes like that. Banter often revolves around teasing or light insults, and I don't know the boundaries to it, and haven't the confidence to do it. I dislike the pressure it creates to produce banter back.

 

I taught in Greece and Romania. Now I do some private tuition online, and the occasional proofreading and translation. Where did you teach?

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CameronBlake

I was diagnosed at the early age of 7. It was horrible, actually. Before being diagnosed, I had no clue why I was seeing all these strange people and doctors. I didnt understand why I was doing this, and none of my friends were. It was scary!

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Willow
I was diagnosed at the early age of 7. It was horrible, actually. Before being diagnosed, I had no clue why I was seeing all these strange people and doctors. I didnt understand why I was doing this, and none of my friends were. It was scary!

Yes I can imagine :( There seem to be so many positives and negatives of both an early or late diagnosis. I never know which is better! I think older, but then - by that I mean late teens I think. After schools over with but before work. So you can push yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone, without having and 'excuse', so to speak, but then you have the cushion of a diagnosis if you struggle to make your own way in the world.

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Whoknows

The way the media portrays disabilities - or in this example, how they portray Aspergers/Autism.

Yup. They think we're like Forrest Gump, though it sounds fun sometimes. They think you're Albert Einstein or Marie Curie. If not, by "today standards", you're related to Gregory House or Temperance Brennan.

 

Why can't I be Monkey D. Luffy, Goku or Superman?

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Kaygee

Diagnosed at age 38. :(

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Nesf

Diagnosed at age 38. :(

Mine came at 41, just 3 years older than you, but it's not a bad thing... being late diagnosed means that i've worked hard to cope and overcome the problems, and the diagnosis explains a lot of the diffuculties I've had in my life... nonetheless, if I'd had an earlier diagnosis I could have avoided a lot of mistakes.

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Kaygee

Mine came at 41, just 3 years older than you, but it's not a bad thing... being late diagnosed means that i've worked hard to cope and overcome the problems, and the diagnosis explains a lot of the diffuculties I've had in my life... nonetheless, if I'd had an earlier diagnosis I could have avoided a lot of mistakes.

My thoughts EXACTLY!

I went thru hell for decades, not knowing what was wrong with me...but knowing SOMETHING was wrong with me. I never even heard of Asperger's until 2 months prior to my diagnosis.......I never knew it even existed.

But I would have liked to have gotten some of the assistance that is available to the children that are diagnosed with it at a young age these days.........Who knows? Maybe I wouldn't be a lonely soul, wandering the planet.

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Richard

I god diagnosed at age of 27. Way too late. If I got diagnosen more early I could had had a chance to do school better and learn stuff like social interaction and stuff more early . Also Since I been diagnosed, i feel that I have less self eestem then before. 

I was diagnosed at age 24. I also feel as though my school years could have been greatly improved if I had been diagnosed earlier and recieved the proper support that I needed. To this day I feel as though going to school was pretty much pointless for me. I went back to college (shortly after diagnosis) and was well supported and finished top of my class so I can't help but wonder what could have been if I was supported in school.

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Nesf

My thoughts EXACTLY!

I went thru hell for decades, not knowing what was wrong with me...but knowing SOMETHING was wrong with me. I never even heard of Asperger's until 2 months prior to my diagnosis.......I never knew it even existed.

But I would have liked to have gotten some of the assistance that is available to the children that are diagnosed with it at a young age these days.........Who knows? Maybe I wouldn't be a lonely soul, wandering the planet.

I hadn't hear of it till fairly recently, and when I read a list of adult symptoms I decided to research it more, and realised it was the answer I had been looking for.

 

I was diagnosed at age 24. I also feel as though my school years could have been greatly improved if I had been diagnosed earlier and recieved the proper support that I needed. To this day I feel as though going to school was pretty much pointless for me. I went back to college (shortly after diagnosis) and was well supported and finished top of my class so I can't help but wonder what could have been if I was supported in school.

That's how I feel, too, but when I was at school Asperger's didn't officially exist, and no one thought it was possible to be autistic without a speech delay. i was taken to the family GP at the age of 11 because a teacher thought I had autistic traits, but the GP thought the idea was ridiculous - she can speak, look at me and answer my questions, so how can she be autistic?!

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Kaygee

I hadn't hear of it till fairly recently, and when I read a list of adult symptoms I decided to research it more, and realised it was the answer I had been looking for.

 

 

We traveled similar paths, my friend.

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King_oni

I got diagnosed at age 29 (2012).

 

I suspected to be on the spectrum years before though.

 

The reason I ended up getting a diagnosis was on the advice of a psychologist I was seeing the year before for a variety of reasons. He figured that considering my history, I would've been better off getting a diagnosis, having documentation and filing for (the dutch equivalent of) DLA, since he didn't really see a lot of other options for me in the long run in terms of income and employment.

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HalfFull

Though I was 26 when my mum first mentioned her suspicions of me having AS, 18 months earlier I was on a year abroad in France for uni. I was supposed to be doing a work placement for a Marketing company and went to see them with my tutor and afterwards they decided that they couldn't work with someone who hardly speaks, then I got sent to a housing office who kicked me out for not communicating. I had to finish off the work placement period in my tutors office to make up for it. At the end of the year abroad, my tutor said that when I went back to the University in England that I really need to see a Psychologist. At the time I thought that he was absolutely bonkers and that it was a cultural difference of opinion as to how outgoing someone should be in the workplace, thus I ignored his advice, but of course he was on to something. My parents did think something was different with me as a child. One of them thought something was actually wrong and that I should be taken to see someone, but because I was happy the other didn't see the need. I think this was when I was about 12. I can't help thinking that if they had brought it to my attention back then, I would have gone through the rest of school, always conscious of being different from the other kids. Although I was very introverted in social situations, I continued to make small steps gradually towards more social confidence, and I think even now at the age of 40 my social confidence continues to increase even though I shall never be an extravert. Had I been told aged 12 that I had AS (I think it had only just been given the term Asperger Syndrome then), I don't know if I would have made as much effort in life and in those days there was less encouragement. Would I have lived alone and gone to a solid 9 to 5 job every day? Maybe its easier for High school students these days to learn that they have AS as there is so much more known about it and they are more likely to be supported to live independently and get a decent job.

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Nesf

Though I was 26 when my mum first mentioned her suspicions of me having AS, 18 months earlier I was on a year abroad in France for uni. I was supposed to be doing a work placement for a Marketing company and went to see them with my tutor and afterwards they decided that they couldn't work with someone who hardly speaks, then I got sent to a housing office who kicked me out for not communicating. I had to finish off the work placement period in my tutors office to make up for it. At the end of the year abroad, my tutor said that when I went back to the University in England that I really need to see a Psychologist. At the time I thought that he was absolutely bonkers and that it was a cultural difference of opinion as to how outgoing someone should be in the workplace, thus I ignored his advice, but of course he was on to something. My parents did think something was different with me as a child. One of them thought something was actually wrong and that I should be taken to see someone, but because I was happy the other didn't see the need. I think this was when I was about 12. I can't help thinking that if they had brought it to my attention back then, I would have gone through the rest of school, always conscious of being different from the other kids. Although I was very introverted in social situations, I continued to make small steps gradually towards more social confidence, and I think even now at the age of 40 my social confidence continues to increase even though I shall never be an extravert. Had I been told aged 12 that I had AS (I think it had only just been given the term Asperger Syndrome then), I don't know if I would have made as much effort in life and in those days there was less encouragement. Would I have lived alone and gone to a solid 9 to 5 job every day? Maybe its easier for High school students these days to learn that they have AS as there is so much more known about it and they are more likely to be supported to live independently and get a decent job.

I always had this kind of problem too, with not being very communicative, and most people just thought I was unusually shy and withdrawn. I hardly ever joined in classroom activities, or seminars at uni.

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Tonzofun

I was 9 years old when I was diagnosed. Then, I knew my future will be FUBAR.

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Echo

Self-Diagnosed @ 27yrs

Diagnostic Assessment still on-going. Should know by the end of the month (@29yrs).

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Mark

I was 9 years old when I was diagnosed. Then, I knew my future will be FUBAR.

People with Aspergers and other ASDs can have very bright futures.

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