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Feel very mad and that I have let everyone and myself down.


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#1 LizW95

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 06:52 AM

I have failed to get into work. We drove past and I started panicking then drove past again and panicked.
I feel mad at myself for letting it win but I didn't know what to do.


I am going to see someone this afternoon and hopefully that might just help...but not holding my breath as its hypnosis.

I don't know what to do.

#2 WillowHope

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 08:20 AM

I know just how you feel :( I got to this stage with school and I had to take a year out and get help before I felt ready to go back.

#3 Ben

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 09:02 AM

You have nothing to be angry for. This is a classic Asperger trait, and it has happened to us all at some point. Even the strong willed Warriors like me. You are in a situation, where you are unable to mentally accommodate your surrounding environment, and are having stressful symptoms. 

 

This is stress, and you have to recognise it's not your fault, and you do deserve time out, to get help, and explore yourself as a person. 


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The workers' hunger helps them, because their desire to eat makes them work.
Patience is Better than strength - controlling your temper is better than capturing a city.
Fools quickly show that they are upset, but the wise ignore insults.
Foolish people are always fighting, but avoiding quarrels will bring you honour.
Don't ever forget kindness and truth. Wear them like a necklace.

 

 

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#4 LizW95

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 11:24 AM

...I managed to get in - just got back now. My boss came to speak to me and I ended up going back in with him. Going to try a full day tomorrow!
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#5 Nesf

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 02:18 PM

I have failed to get into work. We drove past and I started panicking then drove past again and panicked.
I feel mad at myself for letting it win but I didn't know what to do.


I am going to see someone this afternoon and hopefully that might just help...but not holding my breath as its hypnosis.

I don't know what to do.

Yes - it happened to me too when I arrived at work, was unable to take a lesson, and became sick from the anxiety. I hope your boss was understanding, and that tomorrow goes better for you :)


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#6 Khasper

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 02:58 PM

That happens to me as well.

 

I get nervous and don't want to go in to work. I sometimes end up sleeping an extra 30 minutes and then dragging myself up to go to work.



#7 bristlenose

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Posted 04 April 2013 - 05:17 PM

My heart starts racing and I get nauseous when near a place I'd rather not be. Really admire the fact that you're trying - that's all you can do.



#8 Toran

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 03:56 PM

I work alone so I have little contact with others on a daily basis so I don't have to face people that much. I still have to attend meetings or over night stays and entering hotels I feel fear anxiety and scared about what I'm going to encounter. Talking to people finding my way around new places I can feel sick and be hot and cold at the same time its a truly frightening experience.
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#9 Nesf

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 09:11 PM

I work alone so I have little contact with others on a daily basis so I don't have to face people that much. I still have to attend meetings or over night stays and entering hotels I feel fear anxiety and scared about what I'm going to encounter. Talking to people finding my way around new places I can feel sick and be hot and cold at the same time its a truly frightening experience.
Yes, it's terrifying if you don't know what to expect, and exhausting because you have to work extra hard to prepare yourself mentally. All the times I've had to go to new place I've used Google Earth Street View to look up the hotel, and virtually walk down the street on the journey to the place where the meeting or interview or whatever it is will take place, it's surprising how much this helps, even though you don't know who may be at the meeting.

Edited by Nesf, 25 April 2013 - 09:12 PM.

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#10 Sofi

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 09:19 PM

Yes, it's terrifying if you don't know what to expect, and exhausting because you have to work extra hard to prepare yourself mentally. All the times I've had to go to new place I've used Google Earth Street View to look up the hotel, and virtually walk down the street on the journey to the place where the meeting or interview or whatever it is will take place, it's surprising how much this helps, even though you don't know who may be at the meeting.

 

I do exactly this as well, with Google Earth Street View if I ever have to go to a new location. I go through my whole route on Street View before I go and then I will memorise it and know what to expect when I go. It does help and it is comforting when the street looks the same as what it did on Street View! 

I did this recently when my autism support worker was in a new location, so I looked up that route. 


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#11 Toran

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Posted 25 April 2013 - 09:24 PM

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Nesf" data-cid="14151" data-time="1366924292"><p>
Yes, it's terrifying if you don't know what to expect, and exhausting because you have to work extra hard to prepare yourself mentally. All the times I've had to go to new place I've used Google Earth Street View to look up the hotel, and virtually walk down the street on the journey to the place where the meeting or interview or whatever it is will take place, it's surprising how much this helps, even though you don't know who may be at the meeting.</p></blockquote>

It does help a great deal to go to the place first and familise yourself with the street and general suroundings.
Its surprising how much this will help calm you the fact that your prepairing does have a very positive effect.Nothing can make these fears and anxietys go away totally but anything that helps in anyway is a good thing.
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#12 Nesf

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Posted 26 April 2013 - 07:36 AM

I do exactly this as well, with Google Earth Street View if I ever have to go to a new location. I go through my whole route on Street View before I go and then I will memorise it and know what to expect when I go. It does help and it is comforting when the street looks the same as what it did on Street View! 
I did this recently when my autism support worker was in a new location, so I looked up that route. 

I did this when I went to a new job. Before I arrived I "virtually" knew the whole area around the flat, the way from the flat to work, where the nearest supermarket was :)
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#13 Toran

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Posted 26 April 2013 - 07:42 AM

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Nesf" data-cid="14205" data-time="1366961805"><p>
I did this when I went to a new job. Before I arrived I "virtually" knew the whole area around the flat, the way from the flat to work, where the nearest supermarket was :)</p></blockquote>

Its an invaluable tool for me I don't know how I'd manage without it now. When I'm working I have to go to a lot of different places and it can be unnerving at times but checking it before you go does give a lot of comfort.
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#14 Mike_GX101

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Posted 26 April 2013 - 08:16 AM

I have failed to get into work. We drove past and I started panicking then drove past again and panicked.
I feel mad at myself for letting it win but I didn't know what to do.


I am going to see someone this afternoon and hopefully that might just help...but not holding my breath as its hypnosis.

I don't know what to do.

 

I tried hypnosis once - for £40 a session!!  I was having difficulties with the social side of my life at work etc and felt it would help.  I was taken to a small dark back-room in a terrace house with a single table and two chairs with a tape-player pumping out soothing, relaxing music which made me sleepy.  The hypnotist sat there giving suggestions and plugging me closer and closer towards infinity as the warm pink fluid flowed down over my body.  When I hear his voice saying "relax" I automatically relax.

 

I never knew it at the time (and when I was supposedly tranced I knew where I was and came close to walking out at one stage) but retrospectively they leave a fingerprint in your mind because you cannot forget their suggestions and if at any point in the future you were to hear their voice again on any of the suggestive commands you'd respond as 'programmed'.  It's quite scary I guess.  Thankfully the only suggestions were to help me relax so nothing untoward.  But you do have to be careful though.


Edited by Mike_GX101, 26 April 2013 - 08:17 AM.


#15 Nesf

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Posted 26 April 2013 - 08:27 AM

I tried hypnosis once - for £40 a session!!  I was having difficulties with the social side of my life at work etc and felt it would help.  I was taken to a small dark back-room in a terrace house with a single table and two chairs with a tape-player pumping out soothing, relaxing music which made me sleepy.  The hypnotist sat there giving suggestions and plugging me closer and closer towards infinity as the warm pink fluid flowed down over my body.  When I hear his voice saying "relax" I automatically relax.
 
I never knew it at the time (and when I was supposedly tranced I knew where I was and came close to walking out at one stage) but retrospectively they leave a fingerprint in your mind because you cannot forget their suggestions and if at any point in the future you were to hear their voice again on any of the suggestive commands you'd respond as 'programmed'.  It's quite scary I guess.  Thankfully the only suggestions were to help me relax so nothing untoward.  But you do have to be careful though.

So you have no control or recollection of your actions while you're under? And it continues to have an effect after the session is over - I didn't know hypnotism could do this. Interesting, but scary at the same time.

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#16 Toran

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Posted 26 April 2013 - 09:11 AM

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Nesf" data-cid="14224" data-time="1366964827"><p>
So you have no control or recollection of your actions while you're under? And it continues to have an effect after the session is over - I didn't know hypnotism could do this. Interesting, but scary at the same time.</p></blockquote>

There is an awful lot of the subconscious in everyone and I wouldn't consider hypnosis as a viable form of treatment or entertainment.
Its an area that is known but little known about its like experimentation but your doing it with someone's life.I'd advise people to stay away from it because you don't know what the repercussions will be would you like to bet your mind on the outcome ?
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#17 Mike_GX101

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Posted 26 April 2013 - 09:17 AM

Everyone has this impression that hypnosis is something 'mystical' and 'magical'.  But in reality it's a case of "writing" things to peoples' memories which can later be accessed and activated.  Scary stuff indeed when you're talking about peoples' minds.

 

I can't speak for everyone but when I was 'under' I was totally conscious and could have left at any time.  The imagery I shaped to his suggestions was awesome but there was nothing untoward in any of the suggestions he made. 

 

I was a bit disillusioned though because I'd gone in hoping I'd suddenly get good on the dating scene and it didn't happen.  I did learn a valuable method of relaxation though and I've still got his relaxation tape I listen to from time to time.  Whether it was worth £80 though I'm not sure.


Edited by Mike_GX101, 26 April 2013 - 09:18 AM.


#18 Toran

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Posted 26 April 2013 - 09:42 AM

<blockquote class='ipsBlockquote'data-author="Mike_GX101" data-cid="14234" data-time="1366967824"><p>
Everyone has this impression that hypnosis is something 'mystical' and 'magical'. But in reality it's a case of "writing" things to peoples' memories which can later be accessed and activated. Scary stuff indeed when you're talking about peoples' minds.<br />
<br />
I can't speak for everyone but when I was 'under' I was totally conscious and could have left at any time. The imagery I shaped to his suggestions was awesome but there was nothing untoward in any of the suggestions he made. <br />
<br />
I was a bit disillusioned though because I'd gone in hoping I'd suddenly get good on the dating scene and it didn't happen. I did learn a valuable method of relaxation though and I've still got his relaxation tape I listen to from time to time. Whether it was worth £80 though I'm not sure.</p></blockquote>

Even if you thought it was worth the money I don't believe that having false memorys and sugestions is a good idea even if it worked with no problems.Its like programing if it did work you would have laws put in place to get you to do what is said to be exceptable in society. Its mind control under any way you wish to look at it and one person or persons having control over another persons thoughts is wrong.
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#19 Mike_GX101

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Posted 27 April 2013 - 06:20 AM

It was consensual mind control which I paid for and I was fully aware throughout.  I went to him responding to his advert in the newspaper.  I had been doing lots of self-hypnosis up until that point because I was so anxious in social situations which was hampering success in social offline networking.

 

I have since bought some other hypnosis relaxation/confidence-boosting CD's which I still listen to from time to time when I'm feeling tense and down.  The 'being fully aware' did slide once actually when I actually 'fell asleep' while going deeeeeper relaxed and only realised when I woke to the sound of the white noise at the end of the CD!!  I felt really perky after that.

 

The mind is a powerful thing and yet it is surprising that we go through life with a series of rules that we're taught in childhood.  Understanding and cracking those rules takes real skill and insight into oneself but it can bring with it freedom as well.



#20 Mike_GX101

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Posted 27 April 2013 - 06:23 AM

One rule which is true as well for the OP/Lizzy would be: "I must never fail".  Another one could be: "I must never let anyone down".

 

My word to the OP is this: We are all human.  Some times we falter and some times we let others down.  Have faith though that others have the capacity to forgive and if they don't, then it's not the end of the world and is in fact their problem, not yours.






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