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Andrew004

Aspergers gay/bisexual people.

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Andrew004

I read somewhere that people with aspergers/autism are more likely to be attracted to the same sex. I don't know if that's true or not. I didn't take it as a fact, but just made me think. 

 

I myself am attracted to the same sex and have a boyfriend of 3 years. My theory to this suggestion could be that people (males) on the spectrum find neurotypical girls too demanding in many ways. I feel girls look for strong men. Men who can provide and have a track record of being mentally strong. Perhaps this is an evolution thing? 

 

Could people on the spectrum (especially males) not be able to meet the expectations of a lot of females? Especially if you have severe anxiety like I do and are not very strong. 

 

I'm happy in my relationship because it doesn't feel like i'm under pressure from an evolution point of view. I feel we are both equal and there are no high expectations of us both. 

 

Perhaps its less pressurising and demanding being in a male-male relationship or even female-female relationship. Just a thought. 

Edited by Andrew004

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L Lawliet

I am bisexual myself, I have noticed that a lot of aspies do seem to be too.

 

I have never looked to the strong man thing. I find the "macho" type males too much to bear as friends and partners. With both genders I have found that I always lean towards the more awkward, shy types...you could say the more down to earth type people that aren't interested in everyday interests or talk about relationships/sex 24/7.

 

I have always said that girls (more so NT's) like to flirt with the macho strong types because of their confidence, but the majority of them usually settle down with the shy types that could easily be on the spectrum. Confident people aren't all they are made out to be in my experience.

 

I have noticed that aspies as a general rule seem to be gender fluid anyway so maybe this is a factor on the genders of our partners not being so much of a big deal?

 

I am currently in a relationship with a male and I feel more comfortable than I have ever felt because of the person he is. There are no expectations of each other and we respect each others feelings. We also communicate our feelings wherever possible and we laugh a lot. I think these are the main things that make any relationship work well, whether gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, transgender, etc.

 

I'll always identify as bisexual because I personally fall in love with the person, not the anatomy. I also identify as gender fluid so gender as a rule plays no part in my life and has no influence :)

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brokenOne

Me being bi-sexual since i was 9 i prefer male relationships because i always have so much more in common and i believe you are right from an evolution point of view. The whole protector/provider thing is a huge turn off to me and i dont believe in gender roles. Me being athletic and pretty strong i dont really fit into the macho stereotype, i actually hate it when people act macho. I just like staying in shape. But this has caused attraction from both sexes that was unwanted because it was purely out of lust. Which is why i tend to stay covered up if i can.

 

I also find that i have a lot more to talk about with males because we seem to be interested in a lot of the same things. But thats just my view on it.

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tern

Have now encountered as many as 3 aspies who are M to F transgender! 2 self-discovering it in their 20s.

 

Re gay ones, they seem to be mostly women. Rarely met any men who are, and none at all over 30 for whatever reason.

 

As an anti-macho straight I share the feeling against strong men but I find it an important message that you don't have to be LGBT to dislike macho culture. That indeed is what the macho and school bully culture itself believes, it calls every man gay who diverges from its conformity line.

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aspiesw

Surely if gay men didn't meet the expectations of straight women, they wouldn't enter any sort of relationship together, I'm gay and some of my friends happen to be straight girls. (I am a gay man btw)

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LordGary

Hi, I am new to this site as didn't know it existed,

 

I thought that I was bi/gay most of my life but found it hard to make any relationship last, I only found out that I have aspergers a few yaers ago and have now been single for 10 years as it is so hard to find someone that I can trust and they never seem to love me as much as I love them. After also reading that a lot of Asperger people are more attracted to the same sex I thought id like to make friends on here so that I have someone to talk to who can share what I have also been thru. My brain thinks more like a womans and I usually find im attracted to straight guys which of course means I cant do anything about it except get depressed after finding this site I now know I am not the only one in this position so a big hello to all of you :)

 

Gary

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