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      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

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DragonWing

30+ adult diagnosis

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Anxious

Hi dragonwing,

I got diagnosed at 46. I'm now 49. It's been a rough road and I'm convinced It just keeps getting rougher. It all boils down to ones individual understanding of people and what they really mean.

I get the feeling you are looking for some guidance or advice but you are barking up the wrong tree but i'll try.

 

1. Don't try to fit in socially. Whatever you think if you have Aspergers people can be cruel and the recovery rate takes longer with age. Be yourself. Put in your memory bank some good expressions to use at appropriate times, don't stare and remember to blink. Develop a good hairdresser chat. ......"ooh that looks nice where did you get it from" etc etc keep people talking about themselves and never ever talk about theories and you might pull it off. Your Aspergers is a secret. If you tell someone you will be considered  LD before you go to bed that night.

If you have the chance do not complicate your life. If you enter a relationship it is going to become unbearable at some point so you need to be looking far into the future for complications, because in my experience things don't get better they get worse. What is this acceptance thing with aspergers?

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Nesf

Hi dragonwing,

I got diagnosed at 46. I'm now 49. It's been a rough road and I'm convinced It just keeps getting rougher. It all boils down to ones individual understanding of people and what they really mean.

I get the feeling you are looking for some guidance or advice but you are barking up the wrong tree but i'll try.

 

1. Don't try to fit in socially. Whatever you think if you have Aspergers people can be cruel and the recovery rate takes longer with age. Be yourself. Put in your memory bank some good expressions to use at appropriate times, don't stare and remember to blink. Develop a good hairdresser chat. ......"ooh that looks nice where did you get it from" etc etc keep people talking about themselves and never ever talk about theories and you might pull it off. Your Aspergers is a secret. If you tell someone you will be considered  LD before you go to bed that night.

If you have the chance do not complicate your life. If you enter a relationship it is going to become unbearable at some point so you need to be looking far into the future for complications, because in my experience things don't get better they get worse. What is this acceptance thing with aspergers?

What does LD mean?

 

I don't like hairdresser small chat much, but I agree that it's good to have some scripts or things to say to people to get along with them.

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No Longer Here

What does LD mean?

I don't like hairdresser small chat much, but I agree that it's good to have some scripts or things to say to people to get along with them.

I believe LD = Learning Disability

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No Longer Here

Hi dragonwing,

I got diagnosed at 46. I'm now 49. It's been a rough road and I'm convinced It just keeps getting rougher. It all boils down to ones individual understanding of people and what they really mean.

I get the feeling you are looking for some guidance or advice but you are barking up the wrong tree but i'll try.

1. Don't try to fit in socially. Whatever you think if you have Aspergers people can be cruel and the recovery rate takes longer with age. Be yourself. Put in your memory bank some good expressions to use at appropriate times, don't stare and remember to blink. Develop a good hairdresser chat. ......"ooh that looks nice where did you get it from" etc etc keep people talking about themselves and never ever talk about theories and you might pull it off. Your Aspergers is a secret. If you tell someone you will be considered LD before you go to bed that night.

If you have the chance do not complicate your life. If you enter a relationship it is going to become unbearable at some point so you need to be looking far into the future for complications, because in my experience things don't get better they get worse. What is this acceptance thing with aspergers?

Hi Anxious

I did the opposite. I was diagnosed at 51. I decided to be totally open about it.

Now if I am getting overloaded I say exactly that and excuse myself for somewhere quieter or request the conversation reconvene later.

Only one person has ever thought that Asperger's means that I have barely functional intelligence. She was drunk and her mate wanted to clout her when she said it. She made a complete fool of herself.

I now refuse to have these little scripts of smalltalk (I used to do that all the time) as I realised that although I didn't know about my Aspieness I had been acting the role of being normal. Trouble is that I had been failing in that role and people thought I was odd. It is such a relief to stop doing that. People accept me as I am or step aside. I prefer just to have people who genuinely care about me around.

Edited by Andy R
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DragonWing

I have been being very open so far and getting good responses and new friends who accept i may blank them in the street but know not to take offence.

I do try with the small talk phrases and I have a few but often feel silly using them.

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M A R K

I do try with the small talk phrases and I have a few but often feel silly using them.

 

I have loads of specific small talk phrases for specific situations. Like i usually say the same script to the staff when i go into the petrol station. That kind of thing. Its quite natural for me.

 

If i did that in a social setting like bumping into someone i know in the street, i will feel a bit silly too so i just politely say hello or "alright mate" (as is the lingo round here!) and carry on past if i can. 

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Anxious

People don't listen to each other they just say the same old sh*t over and over again. the joke for me is that I do hairdresser chat in a monotone voice and people still want to join in

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StormCrow

I was diagnosed when I as 26. 

Old enough to find out that my state mostly helps teens with ASD, and no one older. 

 

I mostly found out that my time before made more sense after finding out. 

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westrain

Well I was diagnosed at 57 two years ago

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Quirky Debbie

I was diagnosed about the age of 45. I got a negative response any time I told anyone about my diagnosis even from family. In fact most of the responses I get are quite negative so I find it's better for me if I don't disclose to people. I'm not too sure what difference having a diagnosis has made to me. It has made me worried about future work if I ever get a job again. I understand things now from the past in relation to having Aspergers but it hasn't really made much difference to me other than maybe making my self esteem a bit lower. I seem to have become more assertive though than I ever was but I am still way to oversensitive to the slightest bit of criticism or any comment which I suspect as being that.

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tern

I've just

How it changed how you think and feel?

So angry not to have had it before, and that psychology wouldn't recognise AS until it was made to. 35 for me too, but belonging to the founding generation when we emerged is better than living earlier and dying before our scene emerged. Total life change and renewal as our scene has been the most important part of my life ever since I discovered it. vindication of my anti-school position - which indeed is what led me to discover AS and get diagnosis, for I was not under any medical service that would spot it.
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AutismUnrestricted

It is so awesome to know that so many of you have got your diagnosis much later on in life and i'm not alone. :D x It is hard to go through the process with people judging etc. It takes a brave person to accept themselves as they are without caring about fitting in society. So my respects to all of us. 

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AspieGuy42

Hi DragonWing I'm new here. I know this is an old post from last year but it caught my attention. I was diagnosed with AS when I was 34, I'm currently 42 for now. I've always known that I was really different from others. Learning that I had AS was a relief to me going forward. The first several yrs after learning about this was hard on me emotionally. My self confidence at that time went way down, but gradually over the yrs I learned to believe in myself again. The last few yrs for me though have been really good! I now have a better understand of AS and life has been good. Like some people here I'm comfortable with sharing my aspieness. I primarily help people online who have questions and concerns about Aspergers to the best of my knowledge and ability. I also love as well being able to share with others like me. Take care and I hope to stay in touch with you.

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xudo

I'm 30 and was diagnosed about a month ago. I've told pretty much everyone in RL who I feel I want to. I was massively relieved to be honest as up til getting diagnosed, I'd always known that I wasn't "normal" but thought that I was just a weirdo who didn't understand other people. Now I know that there's actually a reason for the things I do/don't do and all that jazz.

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Wallflower

33.  I'm understanding now why I do what I do (or don't do) and I've explained to a few Friends from my past to left because I was never willing to hang out. Just so that they would understand and know that it wasn't them. I am so glad that I know what this is now so that I can find people like me and so I don't feel so alone

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StormCrow

One of my Privates/Troopers (military) was just diagnosed at 52 last year.

Pretty much had the same feeling/thing as me with a statement of how they/I figured out why I was out of place in life.

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Eliza

At 56! A year ago. I went through a lot of ups and downs. I felt a great relief at first. All was good until I started reading how neurotypicals view autistics. Then I found some self-advocacy sites that empowered me. Now, I am overall content about it. There are times I get frustrated, sure, but at least now I have some tools to work with. The biggest joy comes from accepting it. This is who I am. Now I'm in the process of learning to be authentic. Does it ruffle NT feathers? Yes, but when people know you have Aspergers, they do cut you a little more slack. I'm able to ask a person to repeat something without them getting all sensitive about it. Hang in there, dragonwing. :) Don't give up pursuing the things you want in life, even though they don't come as easily to us.

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hutchie

46, diagnosed this year, known since 2009 when I discovered autism aspergers after losing yet another job in Notts. 

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Gone home

Diagnosed 2yrs ago at 53yrs

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