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Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

Am I An Aspie (awaiting diagnosis) Or Am I Just Weird + Alone ?

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Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

Numbered for your convenience of reference are a fair few of my personal traits, I think I’m just hoping these help me (prior to my official diagnosis) to qualify as an aspie, otherwise I’m just weird or totally misunderstood and alone. If you have other deterministic symptoms to ask of me (to help give an answer) then by all means do and I will respond. I only have a few months left (having passed preliminary questionnaire stages) before I am diagnosed face to face (as other on here speak of). Thankyou.

 

  1. I often come across as being a very needy/obsessive person (this would especially probably have been the case were it possible for me to have been in a romantic relationship) but is true with the few close remaining friends I still have. So I text more than I’d like a lot of the time or when I was younger knock at friends doors quite a lot.

 

  1. I’m a fairly suspicious, anxious and paranoid person, always feeling that I’m deliberately being left out and going all out detective to try and catch others out (the latter being a secret).

 

  1. I can socialize to a point, but I can’t make or uphold general conversation (it has to be based on something I’m either interested in or familiar with). I worry that I might be talking for too long and always prefer to be the one to close the conversation to try and look more normal. I often find silences awkward as I see it as me failing to be sociable enough to keep the conversation flowing. I’m intimidated by ‘guy talk’ because I don’t really understand how to get involved (nor have I ever felt comfortable about it) and can find it somewhat pressurizing socializing with women.

 

  1. I struggle to joke around with others as I’m afraid I’ll look stupid (or I just think I look stupid anyway, even if they wouldn’t) or take it too far and as a result I end up just standing aloof like a lemon smiling and doing my best to pretend to find their jokes (amongst each other) funny when in reality it takes a lot more to make me laugh.

 

  1. I see life as being like a TV show or a film and am usually only able to create responses or expectations around what I’ve seen (typically where all works out well in the end, in fiction).

 

  1. I’ve never wanted to grow up and have always been intimidated and afraid of many of the things involved with it (even though some I have gradually embraced). I find myself being most comfortable (purely because it’s the easiest for me) thinking and acting like a 16-18yr old.

 

  1. In some ways I’m fairly emotionless (sympathetic but not empathetic at best) and I hate making a big fuss out of things that most other people would scream or shout about. I can’t stand making a scene or unwanted exhibition of myself in public unless its absolutely necessary (which is almost never).

 

  1. I’ve always been an extremely private person when it comes to things like getting undressed etc

 

  1. Though I am good at listening and showing interest in what others say, I generally prefer talking about myself and or being the centre of attention (though I try not to).

 

  1. I feel guilty very easily.

 

  1. For most things I prefer similar routines (with just a bit of variation to make things seem less repetitive).

 

  1. I get fairly irritated by hearing the same song or a store advert loop too many times in the day (to the point where as a sales colleague I often stopped demos running on TV’s or Home cinema systems or would always turn the volume down). This did get me in a bit of trouble on a few occasions.

 

  1. Watching programs religiously and never wanting to miss it or see parts of it before watching the whole episode.
  2. Keeping my bedroom private (would never let strangers see it)

 

  1. Unintentionally saying offensive things and sometimes not seeing how they could be offensive

 

  1. Never letting anything go which I hear and want repeated (dog with a bone)

 

  1. Spending lot’s of time alone (even though I’d want to see each of my friends perhaps 1-3 times per week depending on who it was.

 

  1. Keeping lists and various recordings about loads of different things (odd and random to most others)

 

  1. Very inflexible about where certain things can go in my room (i.e furniture)

 

  1. Always want the volume down very low when speaking to others as I can get distracted quite easily.

 

  1. Poor multitasking, preferring to focus on one thing at a time only.

 

  1. Never wanted love (only felt tempted when I was first depressed and lonely). I’m always respected (because I show at least kindness and courtesy to all), rarely liked and never loved.

 

  1. Often want to be the best at anything I really enjoy

 

  1. Sometimes willing but somewhat involuntarily uncomfortable meeting new people

 

  1. Often persistent (easily more than any aspie I know on here) and impatient and very verbose

 

  1. No interest in travelling

 

  1. Always looking to please others and receive praise/recognition to feel better about myself

 

  1. Afraid of displeasing or upsetting others

 

  1. Though much improved since going to work, I can still have a very low level of common sense at times.

 

  1. Obsessions

 

  1. Very nostalgic

 

  1. Often require very detailed and often precise instructions

 

  1. Though much improved, I can be fairly gullible or easily mislead (or I take a bit longer than others to wise up to the truth).

 

 

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The Id

Hey, just one question for you- did you/do you have an overtly judgmental mother or primary caregiver?

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Aspernaught1

Well done. That script took a lot of time, effort and focus.

I am Aspergers, very late diagnoses. How old are you? Why do you need a diagnoses? The only reason you should (in my humble opinion) seek diagnoses is when your "ways" affect you and others around you.

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Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

Hey, just one question for you- did you/do you have an overtly judgmental mother or primary caregiver?

 

Um, that seems like an odd question, but I guess I slightly do, either that or I'd need you to ellaborate on the question.

 

Well done. That script took a lot of time, effort and focus.

I am Aspergers, very late diagnoses. How old are you? Why do you need a diagnoses? The only reason you should (in my humble opinion) seek diagnoses is when your "ways" affect you and others around you.

 

I'm 27 and I think I'm hoping there'll be extra help available or advice or medication if required as I suffer from depression and anxiety as of the last few years.

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No Longer Here

Not everything you mention is indicative of Asperger's. But then there is no such thing as a typical Aspie.

I would suggest that the place to start is to take the AQ Test online. Although it is not diagnostic in isolation it does give a really good indication.

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Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

Not everything you mention is indicative of Asperger's. But then there is no such thing as a typical Aspie.

I would suggest that the place to start is to take the AQ Test online. Although it is not diagnostic in isolation it does give a really good indication.

 

Yer there are so many different aspergers symptoms/traits and possibly undiscovered/undocumented ones.

My AQ test taken about a year or so ago was 29.

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The Id

Um, that seems like an odd question, but I guess I slightly do, either that or I'd need you to ellaborate on the question.

 

Hey, thanks for replying.

 

The reason I ask is that I have noticed every person I got to know who has aspie-like tendencies had a judgmental or controlling mother/caregiver to some degree.

 

Regular judgement that is compromising of a child's well-being but not obviously damaging is a tricky situation because it sets up corresponding behaviour patterns in the child that stay for life. Just like learning any skill, if we do the activity regularly enough eventually we reach that point where it becomes a part of us, for example riding a bike or touch typing. This same process happens for things that we don't deliberately learn, such as being regularly told off, judged, mocked, ridiculed, laughed at etc. Repeat the pattern enough times and eventually the corresponding behaviour locks in and becomes permanent. How many kids are ruined every year by this process happening at school?

 

Anxiety, fear, flashbacks, insecurity, depression and so on start as our responses to these simple repeating patterns of our caregivers and once set, then go on to dominate and destroy our lives. The things you describe sound very much like your responses to a judgmental or otherwise unsupportive mother/caregiver. It doesn't mean that mothers who do this are bad people or anything, just that our level of understanding of this situation is very limited today.

 

Many of your points I could have written about myself. I used to jokingly call this stuff "shit parents syndrome" before I heard of aspergers about five years ago.

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Nesf

Some traits sound like Asperger's, others a consequence of possibly having Asperger's such as social anxiety, and others such as being nostalgic are more likely personality traits.

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Hopeless_Aspie_Guy

Some traits sound like Asperger's, others a consequence of possibly having Asperger's such as social anxiety, and others such as being nostalgic are more likely personality traits.

 

Although I take this well beyond an atypical aspie, nostalgia is apparently considered an aspie trait according to many sites.

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