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PandaPrincess

Getting Help

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PandaPrincess

I just emailed the counseling services at my college.  I've been wanting to do this for a long time (I had actually planned on doing this since a year ago, but I never did), but I finally did it because I really need help with my problems.  I would've went the GP route to try to get a proper referral to someone, but I didn't do that because then I would have to tell my parents that I want to get help since they have the insurance, and I didn't want to do that.  It is a very big step for me to seek help at all and to talk to someone about my problems.  

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Peridot

Hope it goes well/is fruitful. :)

fruitful-living_zpsetzkeduj.jpg

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blacktiger911

doing more than me.

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RiRi

That's great. :) Congrats/Good luck. :) I hope that they can get you diagnosed/get you the help you need. :) 

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PandaPrincess

The woman emailed me back.  She asked me what time I'm available.  All I need to do now is get the appointment set up.  I'll probably have the appointment tomorrow.  I'm really nervous about it.  I just said in the email that I'm having problems with social situations and that I need help.  Social situations is the main problem that I have, so I hope that this helps me.  I'm worried because I'm going to have to find a job when I graduate in December, and I need to know how to handle social situations better so I can actually get a job.  

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Harrow

Congratulations on taking that step @PandaPrincess :) I know it's not easy but you did it and you should feel proud. 

And don't worry about getting a job after you graduate. It may seem daunting now, but it won't be as hard as you think. I had to get a job when I was still in high school and I had zero social skills then, but I got a job so you will too and it wasn't a problem having bad social skills all they cared about was that I worked hard. Also having jobs also increased my social skills so there may be a plus as well:)

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RiRi
7 hours ago, PandaPrincess said:

The woman emailed me back.  She asked me what time I'm available.  All I need to do now is get the appointment set up.  I'll probably have the appointment tomorrow.  I'm really nervous about it.  I just said in the email that I'm having problems with social situations and that I need help.  Social situations is the main problem that I have, so I hope that this helps me.  I'm worried because I'm going to have to find a job when I graduate in December, and I need to know how to handle social situations better so I can actually get a job.  

@PandaPrincess This is good. :) Good luck! :) This is really smart what you're doing. I think being prepared for what's to come is always good. I think that @Harrow is right and that if you apply to jobs and really try to get one, without giving up, that you will find one. I really do hope they can help you. I kind of wish that I would have known about my autism earlier to finally come to terms with it (it took me years to come to terms with it). I wish I would have known to seek help for it like you did before it was too late. I wish you the best of luck and that at least you can get a job which you can cope with. I think practice makes better, so the more experience you get in any job, the better. 

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Little Guy

Asking for help is not only a good first step ... it can actually bring rewards as you are telling yourself it is ok to ask for help.

Working can be good. It is good to have a positive reason to get up in the morning. Do be wary of places where there are bullies.
Aspies are especially susceptible to bullying. Trust your gut instinct about a place and people. Do well and be well. You are on a good track.:D

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PandaPrincess

My appointment is today, everyone.  It's in a couple of hours, actually :). Thanks for your support.

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PandaPrincess

Well, the woman was late, so I had to stand outside her office door for at least 10 minutes :unsure:.  It sucked because people kept walking by, asking me if I was waiting for someone.  I guess the appointment went well.  I'm still unsure about whether or not this will help.  I've found that I'm really, really bad at explaining my problems, and I'm afraid that she thinks that my problems aren't really that bad, since I'm not good at explaining my feelings.  I think I'd better write things down for next time.  She told me to write down things that trigger my anger, since I told her that I have anger problems, so I have to write things down anyway.  

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Nesf
8 hours ago, PandaPrincess said:

Well, the woman was late, so I had to stand outside her office door for at least 10 minutes :unsure:.  It sucked because people kept walking by, asking me if I was waiting for someone.  I guess the appointment went well.  I'm still unsure about whether or not this will help.  I've found that I'm really, really bad at explaining my problems, and I'm afraid that she thinks that my problems aren't really that bad, since I'm not good at explaining my feelings.  I think I'd better write things down for next time.  She told me to write down things that trigger my anger, since I told her that I have anger problems, so I have to write things down anyway.  

Yes, it's always a good idea to write things down. It's good that you are going to see her again, that will give you another chance to explain more fully.

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PandaPrincess

Yeah, I have another appointment next Thursday, Sept. 8th, so just a week away.  

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Little Guy
On 8/28/2016 at 6:51 PM, PandaPrincess said:

I really need help with my problems

When you go back you might try a different track because Aspies are notoriously inept at defining their problems. So, instead you might catalog a few of your feelings and then ask them for help in first understanding what your problems are. Assume too that there may be layers that will have to be uncovered.

Long before I was diagnosed, I would talk to therapists about being lonely and while many had some useful ideas; without knowing the Asperger's was involved meant we were all in the dark, so to speak. It did, however, help to talk just be careful of some "telling" you what's wrong. Therapy should be process of self-discovery guided by a smart and caring person.

Not all therapists are necessarily right for you.

On 8/31/2016 at 4:30 AM, Nesf said:

I'm afraid that she thinks that my problems aren't really that bad

Don't judge your "problems" by an outside measure. Each person's pain is unique to themselves and should be treated that way. Knowing and accepting that you are in pain is a good first start. Let the therapist in without prejudging what they should think. When you walk in the door, you are the most important person in that room. :Sparky:

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PandaPrincess

@Little Guy She did ask me if I had trouble with "gray areas" when I described a few of my problems, so at least she's on the right track there.  When I told her that I had anger problems, she focused more on that after I said that though.  I hope she doesn't dismiss my other problems, like problems making and keeping friends and stuff like that. And also my general unhappiness with life in general.  I think that fixing the anger problems would help fix my relationship with my parents a little bit though because I do get angry at them a lot.  

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Little Guy

As @Nesf and someone else said, take a list with you. It is easy to go blank when one is under stress.

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PandaPrincess

@Little Guy Yes, I am definitely going to take a list with me next time.  

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Harrow

Remember she's there to help you, not the other way around. So if she's not focusing on something you want to focus on tell her. Also I think the list is a good idea as well. 

I hope everything goes well for you :)

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PandaPrincess

Well, I had my second appointment today.  I overall feel very frustrated and exhausted :(.  I feel like I'm not doing a very good job communicating my needs and my feelings.  It's just too hard.  I even wrote things down, but when I was discussing the things that I wrote down, it came out totally differently than what it was supposed to.  It also feels absolutely exhausting talking to someone about stuff that's going on.  I wish it was just as easy for me to talk about stuff verbally as it is for me to type it out on my computer.  I would type stuff out, and then show it to her, but it would get pretty awkward sitting there while she reads it :unsure:.  I'm really embarrassed about my problems, plus I don't even dare mention that I think I have aspergers because I'm afraid she'll laugh at me.  Plus, I'm also afraid that it's all in my head that I think I have aspergers, and that my problems aren't really that severe in reality, which of course will make me look stupid.  

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RiRi

@PandaPrincess I'm sorry to hear that it didn't go well. I know how frustrating that can be. I would like to say something before I go on to advices. All this time I thought that you had emailed the counseling services because you want to get ultimately get diagnosed? I think I might have misunderstood and you just went there to get help with the stress you're going through right now?

My advice is that if you can remember what happened in the session, I would write it down on a piece of paper/type it out and respond to it. How would you explain it in a better manner? If you can remember most of it, I would go through the appointment and write down what you would have said if you were not in a stressful environment i.e. the environment that you're in now, in the comfort of your home. I've found that many times when I'm asked on the spot, I don't find the words to answer the question or I don't understand the question, etc. etc. so I end up saying something else. I think this is a good way of going back and expressing your feelings and what you're going through and what you need. Sometimes it can also take us a while to sink in information and then analyze it and conclude on what happened/what's going on.

That sucks. Sorry that you think she'll laugh at you. I don't think she can, she's a professional and even if she wanted, she couldn't. If she's nice then she'll refer you to whom you need to go regarding autism. Sometimes, I think, because of the way some people react to us, we might misinterpret what they're really thinking. I think to you it might be coming across that she thinks that your problems aren't that severe. However, if she's taking you for an NT then, yes, she might think the problems aren't severe, but for an aspie, they are/might be. Especially if she's an NT without prior knowledge about autism, she might be bound to think this way. But we don't know what she's thinking. 

Sometimes people on the spectrum worry that they might not have autism, it's an autistic tendency I think. I think ultimately you should go for a diagnosis to confirm/not that you have it. I forgot to write that I believe that most of the stuff that's spoken of there has to be kept confidential so I think you can mention that you suspect you may have autism and she might then agree and refer you to someone. Or you might just feel more comfortable with her knowing and it might make things easier. Good luck. 

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Harrow

@Makelets has some excellent advice. Especially about getting the diagnoses and that she will then be obliged to send you to someone that can help. 

But don't give up, it might have gone badly today but it will get better you must just keep trying. But one point I want to make is you said you could type it up and then she could read it which might be awkward because she'd just be reading, but I don't think so, I think it's an excellent idea. Everyone expressed there emotions different. And doing that at least she'll have something to jump off from to help you. 

Just  don't give up you'll get there.

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Nesf

I agree with @Makelets and @Harrow that it would be a good idea to try to get a diagnosis, then you will be able to get help that is more appropriate to your situation and you will no longer be left feeling that you are in limbo and doubt.

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PandaPrincess

Really, I'd like to get diagnosed, but I'm way too ashamed to admit that I think that I have aspergers.  I'm afraid that I'm way off the mark here, and that it is something else, like social anxiety. I do have a lot of issues with social anxiety.   I'm just too timid to go ask if I can be referred for autism.  It was a very huge step for me to even go seek any kind of help in the first place because I was too afraid to seek help before.  I now feel ashamed that I feel ashamed about asking about it :unsure:.  

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