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      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

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PandaPrincess

Getting Help

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RiRi

@PandaPrincess Sorry that you feel this way. At some point I, too, worried that I only had social anxiety, but I actually do have autism. And I think as time as passed, the more I've confirmed it. Anyway, is there a way which you can go through your parents insurance and look for a psychologist who diagnoses/asses people, but also works with NTs? Maybe you could go to one on your own, without telling your GP. Just do the research yourself and make sure your insurance covers it. You could even contact the psychologist/psychiatrist yourself, If your parents ask what's up with that say that you just want to talk to a therapist because you are about to graduate and you want to make sure that you get help so that it's easier for you to find a job. They don't have to know. Also, I've been there where I was scared that I might be autistic, at some point, I think even ashamed. But now, I'm proud to be autistic. I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of. I think just society makes us feel this way, but it isn't as such. Also, I've been told before "Are you sure?" a couple of times actually so don't be discouraged if someone asks whether you're sure if you have autism. You just have to be strong. You're high functioning and you're about to graduate college with a teaching credential so I don't see what there is to be shamed about. You should be proud, that you've gotten this far. And if it is that you only have social anxiety then, you will get out of this doubt. And then you might get the help that you need. 

 

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Little Guy

I am going to take a different tack rather than try to convince a therapist right out of the blocks. It is absolutely a fact that an NY therapist can do damage without even realizing it. For someone as sensitive as you sound, you may want to gain some self-knowledge and strength through more Aspie-friendly methods like reading and meditation. Wikipedia has a helpful article links to one or more test and other reading material. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

Through reading and this forum you can learn in a safe way. I found an organization in Watertown, MA (aane.org) with many resources for people of all ages and interests. It is worth a great deal to my self-esteem to drive 2 hours each way to attend a group of 50+ Aspies that lasts only and hour and 1/2.

What I mean to say is find books and people to strengthen you and only move forward to dealing with an NT with the inner strength you will gain. If you must deal with a NT therapist without formal training in Asperger's, simply demand a referral to someone appropriately trained and you will persevere. You should not have to defend yourself. The fact that you are having trouble remembering what is happening is proof that your current therapist is not connecting. That is their fault not yours.

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PandaPrincess

At my last appointment, my counselor said that social anxiety gets better by being exposed to more situations that make you more comfortable.  I don't think that is true in my case because I always do something inappropriate, which makes the other person uncomfortable, so exposure doesn't always help.  Plus, other people always end up treating me bad, which obviously makes me want to stay away from social situations.  Plus, I get absolutely exhausted from just being around other people.  My counselor usually asks me how my week was, so I guess when I go to my next appointment on Thursday, I can tell her how terrible my weekend was and how exhausted being out in public made me, and just overall how I'd really like to die.  A lot of times, I don't tell her how I feel because when I see her that day, I feel fine, and it's hard to describe an emotion that you aren't currently feeling at that exact moment.  At least that is how it is for me.  

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Peridot
2 hours ago, PandaPrincess said:

At my last appointment, my counselor said that social anxiety gets better by being exposed to more situations that make you more comfortable.  I don't think that is true in my case because I always do something inappropriate, which makes the other person uncomfortable, so exposure doesn't always help.  Plus, other people always end up treating me bad, which obviously makes me want to stay away from social situations.  Plus, I get absolutely exhausted from just being around other people.  My counselor usually asks me how my week was, so I guess when I go to my next appointment on Thursday, I can tell her how terrible my weekend was and how exhausted being out in public made me, and just overall how I'd really like to die.  A lot of times, I don't tell her how I feel because when I see her that day, I feel fine, and it's hard to describe an emotion that you aren't currently feeling at that exact moment.  At least that is how it is for me.  

I used to have obsessive compulsive disorder and they say that being exposed to that which you as a person with OCD fear helps and I think it has some truth to it. So it's being exposed to that which makes you uncomfortable. As it shows some part of you that your fear was an irrational one.

But social anxiety is a different story, I think as I feel it stems from and has to do with different things. What social skills are according to some people is actually conformism or some other kind of unhealthy attitude where one isn't being true to oneself.

I'm a pretty "social" person by nature but I spend a good amount of time on my own as social situations often times creep me out big time. And for good reason.

One time I was in a bar and I couldn't have a normal conversation with the person as it turned out they were high on drugs (!), making no sense whatsoever. Or I'd be talking to someone and I'd just see very clearly that this person was all agitated. And it wouldn't be because of anything I'd be doing wrong or anything, it's just that the person I'd be speaking to was a volatile mess. One time I was also talking to someone who was supposedly a "professional" regarding job searching. And I was talking to her about motivations and passion and reasons to work at any particular place. I was trying to have a serious conversation and I said at one point that for a lot of people the work itself isn't as important or interesting as the amount of fun they can have with their co-workers and she blew a fuse and snapped at me going "WHAT?! YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT, YOU MORON??" and it reminds of what someone said recently namely that people only get angry when the truth about them is said out loud and they don't like it. She also started mocking me later on as she remained angry during the rest of the conversation. I told her I was busy writing music and she said "I haven't heard your music but I know it's bad because you're stupid".

I could go on and on about how much of a disappointing mess it is in my immediate surroundings but I'll stop it here. <_<

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Jo

I'm trying to get help too I am struggling with life and so many bad things have happened :(

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PandaPrincess

@Jo That is awful that bad things have happened to you.  I hope that you get the help you need though.  

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Eliza

Fear is a normal emotion, as long as we don't become crippled by it. It's scary to be vulnerable and open ourselves up, especially to someone who can help or potentially hurt us..

Just a suggestion--why not print out (or handwrite) a list of the various Asperger traits you have, hand it to her and say, "This explains how I feel better than I can." This is what I did with one of my sons. At first, he was taken aback, now (several months later) he is starting to recognize his own Asperger traits.

We have nothing to feel ashamed about. This is how we were created. Wonderfully autistic!

I have a feeling this is going to lead to something good for you. :) Self-advocacy is always a good thing.

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