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ShinyRogue

Am I Aspie ?

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ShinyRogue

Hi there , I am 25 years old guy . I am always felt different in my entire life . I only had a few friends in my whole life . They were in different periods of my life . I always have one closest friend and others was only a bunch of people . I really wanted to be social . But people generally didn't find me attractive , Meeting with new people scaring me because I am thinking they don't find me attractive too . Even my mother saying you don't understand sarcasms and your voice is robotic and you don't have gestures . I always interested too much with computers and foreign languages and technology . People generally don't share same interests with me . And they finds my talk is boring . When I talk with them sometimes jumping from topics to topics someone people even can't follow the conversation . My handwrite is awful and I can't ride to the bicycle . And I learned to tie my shoes at a very late age . My walking is a bit weird . Sometimes I don't know , where I could put my hands . Some people saying to me you glances are very weird are you using any drugs ? Even when I am talking about very interesting topics people didn't find it attractive but if another guy speaking about same thing they are listening him like he is speaking about "World's Number 1 Problem" . This year I graduated from university . It was a teacher education class . So now I am a teacher . Now I am feeling much more weird . Because there are lots of teachers and sometimes student's parents coming to the school and I am scaring because they could find me weird . That's killing me . In my entire life my father blamed me about this . He were saying why are you behaving like this ? Throw up this fucking computer and be social . But I can't explain this to him . He never understand me . And I am collecting computer games a lot . Also my memory is very strong . Even sometimes I am saying our first meeting conversation to people and they are shocking . Then saying to me how do you remember this ? Also I always felt people are changing but I always remained same . Like a child . In here hospitals are really bad and I don't thinking they could really diagnose my problem . So those are the facts . I tried to write everything , came to my mind am I a guy with Asperger or those are another disease ? Thanks for all replies . 

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