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Roxy

Bumping Into Ex All The Time.. Causing My Anxiety To Go Into Overddrive

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Roxy

I live in a city which is fairly big, but I seem to be bumping into my ex ALL the time, we are both still single but I'm trying to get over them.. when they saw me they basically laughed as they walked past (even though it's been a year since I last saw them they still recognised me), I then turned around (probably foolishly) to follow them and say hello, as obviously I still have feelings for them and felt like they was laughing at me (negativity so made me feel so conscious). When I saw them and said hey they got scared and jumped.. they said the reason they laughed was because they was nervous. But didn't seem interested in me much and it seemed like they just wanted to get away.. 

I feel like a total mug now, for chasing them.. they obviously don't want anything to do with me otherwise they would've said hello first.

Does anyone have any advice on how to get over them? that exchange really put me off-guard the whole day, and the old feelings for that person came back.. and now I'm struggling badly with anxiety and all that.

I don't want these feelings, and now I'm scared to go into the town centre again ! 

Do I have to move to another city/town to escape these exchanges!? also this person goes out in town so if I go on a night out too and see them with someone else it'll break my heart ! :(

 

So much for Aspies not showing emotion, empathy or love eh!? if anything my ex seems the heartless one.. it seems they enjoy me chasing them, but don't want to tell me they are not interested anymore :( 

 

Advice please, feeling really depressed and anxious ! 

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PandaPrincess

This reminds me of a similar situation I was in the other day.  This person that I had a crush on patted me on the head because I was wearing one of my hats, but then they immediately ran away.  I haven't seen them for about a year, and they didn't even stop to talk to me or anything, which shows that they have no interest in talking to me, being my friend, or anything else, and they probably never did.  I am lucky and don't run into that person very much, so I'm starting to forget about them.  Really, the best advice that I have is not to chase after them because people like this are often the bullying type who have no regard to other people's feelings.  Also, try to meet new people who actually value you and like you.  This will help you forget your obsession with your ex.  I have a friend in my class who has a lot in common with me, and I feel great around her, as opposed to how I felt with my crush and their friends, which wasn't very good at all.  Also, spend time developing hobbies and skills, and also exercise.  This will make you feel better about yourself too, so you won't feel as much of a need to be validated by other people.  I hope this helps.

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Harrow

Obviously I don't know your ex but it's possible that they also acted awkwardly in that situation and are kicking themselves. It may be just as hard for them. Been in love and then not takes times. But eventually it will get better sometimes it takes a year and sometimes it takes longer but it will pass. 

 

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Whoknows

You'll have to let time go and distract yourself, trying new things to experiment different emotions; something that requires you to concenrate or forget might help.

It's the best solution I can think of, if you don't want to live moving all of your life (because of a failed relationship).

The pain will remain, but it'll grow meaningless with time. You will heal, but you'll have to be patient.

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Roxy

Thing is, do I avoid going into town? I don't wanna see them, not now.. the pain is too raw after just speaking to them.

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Roxy

I've gained weight since that meeting with my ex.. I've spiralled into a depression.

I'd appreciate some advice as I feel really low and moody with everything lately.. Is it possible to avoid going into the town where they live to avoid this happening again? I don't wanna bump into them when I've got over them... or see them with someone else =*(

 

Should I move!? if it helps my sanity but what about the next person I get into a relationship with and it ends.. do I keep running!? 

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Whoknows
22 hours ago, Roxy said:

I've gained weight since that meeting with my ex.. I've spiralled into a depression.

I'd appreciate some advice as I feel really low and moody with everything lately.. Is it possible to avoid going into the town where they live to avoid this happening again? I don't wanna bump into them when I've got over them... or see them with someone else =*(

 

Should I move!? if it helps my sanity but what about the next person I get into a relationship with and it ends.. do I keep running!? 

You can avoid going into the town, if you want to, but you'll have to deal with pain anyway.

I cannot help you in having you choose in whether you move or not, but you'll have to face your pain and stand up by yourself. 

Don't let your past fool you into belittling yourself over things that didn't work. :mellow:

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