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weebo

Communicating

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weebo

Hello all, i wondered if anyone else has the issue of communicating there thoughts and feeling and how do you learn from this and try to get better, i can never explain to anyone what is wrong when i am having a bad day, or a melt down as to why this is happening people ask if i am ok i end up just shouting and raising my voice at them ( manly my partner) and shutting down and going to my room 

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DavidTheWitch

Isn't that one of the defining symptoms of Autism?

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weebo

i guess so but i am trying to understand why

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Matthew

I try to understand what is making me feel bad or way I am having a bad day. I take a deep look in to my self to best try to identify is it environment, physical, or is emotional that is driving my feelings. Then I try to look at what is causing the emotional responses is it something I can control or is it something I have to live with for now. Once I know that I try to calmly to explain what is going on to some one.  

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DavidTheWitch

Because we have no cognitive empathy. We have tons of emotional empathy but none of what is needed to tell us what the people we so care about are thinking except their own statements. We are basically the opposite of psychopath. Were they zre infinitely crual we are infinitely kind. Were they are infinitely minipulitive we are infinitely gullible. Live with it... it is your blessing...

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Gone home

 

Quote

 

i guess so but i am trying to understand why

 

Stress, too many unresolved problems on mind, not connecting, sensory issues / over or understimulated ?.... the fact you end up shutting yourself off in your room suggests you maybe just need some quality time alone each day. I put my Peltor ear defenders on when things get a bit much ... they provide some personal space, relief and quiet without leaving the room

 

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weebo
On 28/01/2017 at 7:26 PM, Going home said:

 

Stress, too many unresolved problems on mind, not connecting, sensory issues / over or understimulated ?.... the fact you end up shutting yourself off in your room suggests you maybe just need some quality time alone each day. I put my Peltor ear defenders on when things get a bit much ... they provide some personal space, relief and quiet without leaving the room

 

yes u are right i have ear defenters to they really help at home 

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RiRi
On January 26, 2017 at 8:08 AM, weebo said:

Hello all, i wondered if anyone else has the issue of communicating there thoughts and feeling and how do you learn from this and try to get better, i can never explain to anyone what is wrong when i am having a bad day, or a melt down as to why this is happening people ask if i am ok i end up just shouting and raising my voice at them ( manly my partner) and shutting down and going to my room 

On January 26, 2017 at 2:07 PM, DavidTheWitch said:

Isn't that one of the defining symptoms of Autism?

I agree that it is a characteristic of autism, to not be able to communicate why you feel a certain way. Or, for me, sometimes I don't even know why I'm feeling like that. We sometimes get meltdowns, but the meltdown might have been triggered by something insignificant (something you wouldn't think could cause a meltdown), but because of the build up of stress, etc., it results into a meltdown. 

When I'm under stress and crying, too, I sometimes am unable to communicate why I feel that way until afterwards where I evaluate the situation. Or maybe even then, but sometimes I just want a moment and I just want to cry and be alone. So I cry, not in front of people, at least not all the time. I don't like doing it in front of some people because I just don't feel comfortable. Like when it's about to happen, I want to cry alone, but sometimes I cry when other people are present. 

I've found that knowing a lot about different things and psychology, how our minds could possible work, and why this why that has helps me communicate when I'm having a meltdown etc. I say "I don't know" "I can't answer that right now, I'm sorry, I will have to think about it later." Like if people ask, why are you crying? I feel like sometimes I don't know why I'm crying. Sometimes I think I have an idea, but when we're feeling so emotional, it can be wrong, so in order to not make others feel bad, I just say that. 

Maybe just have a script like I do when things (meltdowns) like this happen? If you're depressed and are having suicidal thoughts, though, I think it's best to communicate those.

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DavidTheWitch

It is very rare I cry but when I do I'm quite a baby.... The reality is my dad would smack me around if I cried so I stopped doing it.  The fact is most of the time when I have to explain my behavior I say I am crazy. I really have trouble explaining why I feel this way or that.

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Gone home
10 hours ago, DavidTheWitch said:

It is very rare I cry but when I do I'm quite a baby.... The reality is my dad would smack me around if I cried so I stopped doing it.  The fact is most of the time when I have to explain my behavior I say I am crazy. I really have trouble explaining why I feel this way or that.

Crying (preferably in private) can be a great release if thats what you need. At least your dad can't smack you around anymore. 

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DavidTheWitch

No but my stepmom can tell me I am a moocher and that he doesn't owe me anything!

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Eli

My emotions completely debilitate my ability to verbalize. Which is why the only thing I can do is be alone until I am less stimulated. This is a very important time, and if I'm deprived of it, sh*t will hit the fan. Luckily, I don't have many people in my life anymore who will do that.  

As for why, besides the emotions eclipsing congnitive abilities, I think in my case there have been many times in which whatever sets me off is something I know deep down is unwarranted and irrational. Because on some level I know it, when someone asks me what's wrong my defenses flare up pretty strong. I can't verbalize because if I did so accurately and honestly, it would sound absurd. 

Also, I just plain don't like being asked what's wrong or if I'm ok, because if there is something wrong, the last thing I need is explaining it to someone. It doesn't help me and it wastes my resources. 

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DavidTheWitch

The fact is a lot of times it is just the NTś refusal to understand us in a lot of cases!

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