Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Willow

      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here.  
Sign in to follow this  
Dr-David-Banner

Elliot Rodger's Youtube Channel

Recommended Posts

Dr-David-Banner    1,018
Dr-David-Banner

These videos on YouTube had been banned but it now seems they can all be viewed. I am not the only one to find them fascinating in as much as I can genuinely understand how it feels to be isolated and, seemingly, powerless to bridge a connection to the world.
When I was his age I felt the same way about not having girlfriends except I never had that extreme level of entitlement and narcissism. I took up bodybuilding at that time as I wanted to feel secure and attract women. Despite that, women really didn't notice me regardless because I was too shy and awkward to communicate well. All I can say is those years at uni (often in the gym) were terribly lonely. Pretty much most guys could get girlfriends but - just as Rodger laments in his YouTube videos - I was pretty much ignored. Either that, or I failed to communicate.
As for Asperclick, I can't say how many guys here have girlfriends but my guess is most either have (or have had) relationships. So, I'm saying that when I watch those fairly morbid videos, though I am horrified by how it all ended, I can understand what the isolation part feels like.
The extreme narcissism I couldn't relate to as I never felt I somehow deserved women to be flocking to me. Back then it was more a sense of being left out than anger. However, I have to confess I did find an element of Elliot Rodger's videos funny and comical. For example, the accounts of beautiful women entering a cafe in the company of a "slob" or "brute" reduced me to giggles. His point was he felt he should be the one surrounded by girls and WTF was going on?
To get to the point, I am older and wiser and I figure Rodger's shrink for whatever reason didn't manage to connect his patient with reality. It may have averted the disaster that followed.
These days I still see it pretty hopeless but I can see other peoples' perspective. Most women clearly seek a partner who can cope and survive in the everyday, social environment. Taking that into consideration, I perform very poorly in team and working environments (to date), so I see little purpose in relationships at this stage. I don't blame anyone else. I also enjoy the company of women and love femininity but just struggle with relating to people and work environments. Also, usually relationships form within some group so I found your date will be more attracted to you if her friends like you too.
Really I think there's a tiny minority of guys on the spectrum who really are in the sh*t when it comes to the whole dating and marriage business. Being honest I see zero prospect of it. Also when Rodger laments in his videos "it's just not fair", sure I can understand the realities behind it. I mean, you know you have lots of positive traits being on the spectrum but without the social glue, nobody notices you. You become that weird guy who's always by himself and lives alone.
Final bit of advice that helped me is never dwell on it too much. Life is too short and time can be used for maybe doing music or art instead of dwelling on the disadvantages.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dr-David-Banner    1,018
Dr-David-Banner

One more aspect is Rodger was living in a rich part of Los Angeles. I imagine people there would be pretty shallow, materialistic and superficial. I learned over time the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Sure, NT's marry and have families but divorce rates are high. Family homes s I see them are like war zones. And NT's are indoctrinated they somehow have to be better than others and own better things. As Rodger's dad was a movie director, I imagine materialism eclipsed spirituality. I mean, it's not just spectrum people who "flip" in the USA. Lots of young people go haywire partly due to environment.

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AutismUnrestricted    349
AutismUnrestricted

Brilliantly expressed Dr-David-Banner. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 

 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
.......    299
.......

Wow - just watched him for about 15 seconds!! 

He is lost with a capitol L..... 


Extreme beauty is by its very nature - Ugly. 

 

Thats why he isn't liked. Simple as that. 

Not just ugly in looks but deep inside too. The word 'Spoilt' was invented for this kid.. I know someone just like him. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
.......    299
.......

Flipping heck... Didn't know about any of this massacre. And he is dead now. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dr-David-Banner    1,018
Dr-David-Banner

Here's a video made by someone who also shares he partly related to the Elliot Rodger videos and shares any similarities in upbringing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz8IxrTYOt4

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Peridot    2,427
Peridot
23 hours ago, Dr-David-Banner said:

As for Asperclick, I can't say how many guys here have girlfriends but my guess is most either have (or have had) relationships.

I've always been single.

I'm not bothered by it anymore. In the past it was different but my life just ended up a certain way. You've just got to focus on and appreciate what you do have. Which is what I do. You either accept your situation or you sit and sulk or you jump out the window. Those are kind of the three choices one has. And I'm certainly not going to sulk. Considered jumping out the window a couple of times but ended up drinking lots of Dr. Pepper instead.

Edited by Peridot
  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dr-David-Banner    1,018
Dr-David-Banner

I need to point out that despite making a very interesting commentary above, the commentator is wrong to call Elliot Rodger a "serial killer". To my mind, most serial killers are predators and may even have decent social skills or be married. I think with E Rodger, what we have is a massive, apocalyptic meltdown - pretty similar to other American school shooting rampages.
You may ask, why raise such a morbid thread? Well, the answer to that is like the commentator in the above video, the whole thing about isolation, rejection, bullying and so on will ring true to many people. I mean, for me, when I watched the Elliot Rodger YouTube videos, he struck me as non aggressive, reasonably educated and polite but deeply anxious and troubled. Except the last video where he comes across as pretty awful. Also, given he was the son of a Hollywood producer, you have to ask WTF could have gone so wrong?
Another point that will explain my interest is I had a friend just like Elliot Rodger - also now dead on account of not having a girlfriend. This best friend of mine had AS and other co-morbid disorders. Basically all he ever talked to me about was the fact he claimed girls rejected him and basically disliked him. He went to far as to have surgery on his nose to try and remove imagined obstacles to finding a partner. Finally it ended in a suicide. When I went to the funeral I recall his sister sobbing her heart out and unable to understand why her brother had been so delusional and obsessed over rejection. The difference here was pretty much 99 per cent of people as troubled as E Rodger commit self harm. In his case, I think the meltdown just exploded outwardly. Like the commentator above I too am surprised Rodger's YouTube channel is still up and running.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dr-David-Banner    1,018
Dr-David-Banner

" You either accept your situation or you sit and sulk or you jump out the window. "

I think personally, I am now approaching a new stage maybe. I definitely agree with you that the worst thing to do is overly dwell on shortcomings related to AS. Life must go on. However, I feel in my case (like many spectrum people), I buried my emotional turmoil with obsessive interests. I think that's what happened to people like Michael Jackson. The obsessive work put into your interest gets you more and more positive feedback from others but circumstances can change gradually. With Michael suddenly he found people were noticing his weird behaviour more than his talent and, even worse, he lacked genuine friends to be supportive. For me, it's like you can rise above your inner weaknesses for so long and then suddenly the escapism arrives at a blind alley. It even happens to rich mega-stars.
What's my point? I think I came to realise my special interests and extreme work ethic has helped me a lot but only covered up the cracks. The cold reality that bites is the lack of the most basic social intelligence ability can be crippling and grind your life to a deadlock. Then, today, as if by magic, I found an awesome quote by Jiddu Krishnamurti. He stated that if you can truly know and understand yourself, then you can change. Going on other quotes by Krishnamurti I thought to myself, wouldn't it be nice to be emotionally stable in a way you don't depend on social pressure but on inner stability.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
.......    299
.......

"wouldn't it be nice to be emotionally stable in a way you don't depend on social pressure but on inner stability"

There lies your answer.... 

Plenty of ways to get it and breathing is the key. Focused relaxed breathe. 

I have actually put together a few links which - if you watch them in order and understand whats being said, you will get Inner Stability.... 

Edited by .......

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RiRi    7,755
RiRi

I didn't really the last two posts made my @Dr-David-Banner

I agree that most aspies on this forum have been in a relationship. We do have communication deficits, but I think one of the reasons why it faltered in Elliot Roger was the superficiality he engaged in. I think most aspies on this forum, or regular basis members, aren't shallow like that. So they could date someone who isn't as conventionally beautiful, but have a more attractive personality. So I think that's where one of the possible problems lied in Elliot Roger.

Edited by AugustGrace
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dr-David-Banner    1,018
Dr-David-Banner

The debate goes on over his diagnosis. Seems pretty certain malignant narcissistic personality disorder is part of it.
You will notice his earlier YouTube videos were less extreme than the last ones.
As I said, yes, I understand what it feels like to be socially isolated. One thing I never forgot was the teams selection at school. I would be the last one picked and, even then, under the insistance of a teacher (to a chorus of groans and protests).
In my twenties I was very shy of girls maybe due to pressure that I was supposed to be masculine and do the chasing. Nowadays, I am not shy at all. One sort of bonus is if you get to the point of giving up altogether, talking to women becomes easy. Instead of seeing them as partners to be chased about or impressed, they become just good company. I find women more expressive and mature and figure I relate more psychologically to them. So like Elliot Rodger I have no woman "on my arm" but friendship wise it's easier for me to make small talk with women. Weirdly I always remember their names in conversation whereas with guys I don't.
As to sex, well, yes there was a time I had lots of encounters without any emotional ties. However these days sex isn't a big deal.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
DavidTheWitch    110
DavidTheWitch

The guy was a special kind of crazy!

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×