Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Willow

      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here.  
CB

Managing anxiety/inner voices

Recommended Posts

CB

Hi,

 

Having lots of success lately managing impulse control which is aggravated by busy, anxious, perseverating thoughts and finally getting relief like I never had. I actually started calling into 12 step groups. While I don't suffer substance, food, etc. addiction, per se, I do find the principles are very helpful. The group support and hearing stories of people's struggles--has been extremely helpful.

Best tool I've come up with: When I feel a bad feeling, I label it a bad feeling. Analyzing is a bad road for me because I will  spend the next umpteen hours perxeverating on it. I'm not repressing or denying, but not adding to it. Then I go to something bigger. They use Higher Power, but for people who are anti-entity, you could just think of the universe, etc. Doesn't really matter--point is to move you into a better space. Also, I am meditating.   Anyway, I have had so much benefit from  it,  that I wanted  to share. And I was really, really suffering. And yes, I have Aspergers.

  • Helpful 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Heather

Hi, welcome to the forum! That sounds great if that helps your impulse control.  I think it helps a lot to refocus on something bigger like a higher power when feeling the anxious, crazy thoughts, and meditation can be a great tool.  Thanks for sharing!

  • Helpful 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Catman2016

Hi, and welcome to Asperclick. 

  • Helpful 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CB

Hi Thanks for the welcome,

 

I am working hard on managing my anxiety--fear of not controlling--which of course, I cannot, and the fear around this makes things worse- not better-- through observation of sensations. Hard to say for certain whether emotions precedes sensation or not. Doesn't matter to me. When I notice it, I am now observing it. I also like to give myself compassion after noting that the thought is distressing. I am still working on this part. I read something today about smiling at oneself in the mirror, and I had also heard this earlier this month. I did it after. Honestly, I didn't really feel anything, but it can't hurt.

Also, I went off caffeine today. Stimulants seem to impact me oppositely and I am always convinced I need cognitive assistance being in school where they make you shove your brain full of information--but I am not convinced I sleep well. We will see how I sleep tonight. There are a lot of benefits to it, but I need to see if it is contributing to anxiety and worse sleep.

One of the main things I need to make the effort with is not obsessing over whether someone is angry with me. Part of this means not letting silly things roll out of my mouth. I am not a person who hurls insults or is thoughtless, generally, but I talk too much, which is irritating. It's nervousness. I'm working on it. I still think it's the self-love thing. Giving myself a break. I don't think I'm destined to be one way--I think I can change so that's the plan. Not to be better, but to be more at peace.

  • Helpful 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nesf
8 hours ago, CB said:

Hi Thanks for the welcome,

 

I am working hard on managing my anxiety--fear of not controlling--which of course, I cannot, and the fear around this makes things worse- not better-- through observation of sensations. Hard to say for certain whether emotions precedes sensation or not. Doesn't matter to me. When I notice it, I am now observing it. I also like to give myself compassion after noting that the thought is distressing. I am still working on this part. I read something today about smiling at oneself in the mirror, and I had also heard this earlier this month. I did it after. Honestly, I didn't really feel anything, but it can't hurt.

Also, I went off caffeine today. Stimulants seem to impact me oppositely and I am always convinced I need cognitive assistance being in school where they make you shove your brain full of information--but I am not convinced I sleep well. We will see how I sleep tonight. There are a lot of benefits to it, but I need to see if it is contributing to anxiety and worse sleep.

One of the main things I need to make the effort with is not obsessing over whether someone is angry with me. Part of this means not letting silly things roll out of my mouth. I am not a person who hurls insults or is thoughtless, generally, but I talk too much, which is irritating. It's nervousness. I'm working on it. I still think it's the self-love thing. Giving myself a break. I don't think I'm destined to be one way--I think I can change so that's the plan. Not to be better, but to be more at peace.

It's good that you recognise when you are feeling anxious, and what the cause of the anxiety (not being in control) is, because when you know the cause, you can work on strategies to cope with it or to counteract it. I don't think that anxiety will ever be 'cured' as such, but it is possible to manage it more effectively.

Certainly caffeine can contribute to anxiety or insomnia, giving it up should help.

  • Helpful 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gone home
19 hours ago, CB said:

Not to be better, but to be more at peace.

I think thats where our power lies. 

Somewhere along the line I got into the habit of taking too much too ... now trying to be mindful to stop it as when I used to be quieter life was better. Talking too for me much means over disclosure, which causes problems and ends up a situation of being ostracised

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CB
On 8/11/2017 at 1:16 AM, Nesf said:

It's good that you recognise when you are feeling anxious, and what the cause of the anxiety (not being in control) is, because when you know the cause, you can work on strategies to cope with it or to counteract it. I don't think that anxiety will ever be 'cured' as such, but it is possible to manage it more effectively.

Certainly caffeine can contribute to anxiety or insomnia, giving it up should help.

I'm already free of any issues. I think I metabolize stimulants differently. I am definitely feeling better. Better sleep not feeling so internally worn out in the morning and I like not being dependent on it. I don't think I was that dependent as after the 3rd day, I didn't notice anything but I think this idea of drinking coffee early to prevent its impact on sleep was not true for me. It did impact my sleep because it is better without it. And I am more calm. This is the MAIN aspect that makes me most excited. Also, I notice my brain steadily keeps working without the fatigue I was experiencing. Very interesting. I am not going to go back to it. Plus, it's expensive.

  • Helpful 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CB
On 8/11/2017 at 0:37 PM, Going home said:

I think thats where our power lies. 

Somewhere along the line I got into the habit of taking too much too ... now trying to be mindful to stop it as when I used to be quieter life was better. Talking too for me much means over disclosure, which causes problems and ends up a situation of being ostracised

This is SO true!  I have to admit that when I looked at this, I was very confused and wondered why someone else was quoted as saying what I said. Then I realized you were expressing exactly what I have experienced. I believe this can change. However, I need to do these things to make it easier to pattern: meditation, sleep, eating properly, constantly aware of my anxiety and nipping it by telling myself I am (which I do) catastrophizing or spinning stories. Both are simply unpleasant ways of making myself feel bad. Projecting bad things in the future or inventing bad things I think I have done to bother someone. I am just recognizing them as bad feelings and have taken to observing them. Physically, I imagine they have shape and weight (which I feel they do) and then I watch them without attaching the story. Now I will easily slip back into the story (whatever the issue is I"m  creating distress for  myself over), but then I remember again to  observe.

I kind of went off on a tangent but I do very much agree with you about the disclosure. I feel much better not oversharing in environments where it is not appropriate. That is why I like this forum. I do feel it is healthy to do, but in appropriate places with appropriate people. But if I'm in  some anxious state, it is likely I will overshare. Another reason for managing my emotions. I do not live in  a box, I am surrounded by people, working with lots of people, and want to do what motivates me without creating problems for myself and others that are unnecessary.

  • Helpful 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tink

I have always had problems with worry, and perseverating thoughts.  They definately keep me up at night- I usually switch my brain off by reading until I fall asleep with a book or reader in my hand.  I can definately relate to what you say:

10 hours ago, CB said:

Projecting bad things in the future or inventing bad things I think I have done to bother someone.

I am also newly diagnosed at age 40, so I am now also constantly obsessing about how that affects me.  I have found logic and preparation help a lot with future worry, but they don't stop my brain from spinning round and round over the same things.  I enjoy yoga but I so far have been unable to work it into a regular routine, and much as I try meditation I cannot make my mind go blank.  Maybe guided meditation would be better.

I like the idea of "observing" the thoughts and feelings. It sounds like a scientist.  I will cerainly try this- to let the brain go through all the different shapes and contortions it naturally does, but without automatically believing everything it says.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I have found them helpful.

  • Helpful 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gone home
On 14/08/2017 at 7:45 AM, Tink said:

much as I try meditation I cannot make my mind go blank

I used to picture an inanimate object, ie: porcelain bowl, pan, tin can etc. .... then shrink it to a manageable size between the ears and just look ... aiming for around 25mins twice a day. At the time it helped alot.

It was preceded with slowly reciting and thinking about the following internal mantra a few times....

I have thoughts. They come and go. I can observe these thoughts, therefore I am not my thoughts (they are not my centre)

 

On 14/08/2017 at 7:45 AM, Tink said:

I am also newly diagnosed at age 40, so I am now also constantly obsessing about how that affects me.

I was diagnosed at 53. Its taken almost two years to review pre-diagnosis life and come to terms with it in a comfortable way.

It takes time to consolidate set of symptoms and diagnostic label with ones deeper natural identity ... initially its a psychological shake up, but does gradually settle and consolidate over time

  • Helpful 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CB
On 8/14/2017 at 11:45 PM, Tink said:

I have always had problems with worry, and perseverating thoughts.  They definately keep me up at night- I usually switch my brain off by reading until I fall asleep with a book or reader in my hand.  I can definately relate to what you say:

I am also newly diagnosed at age 40, so I am now also constantly obsessing about how that affects me.  I have found logic and preparation help a lot with future worry, but they don't stop my brain from spinning round and round over the same things.  I enjoy yoga but I so far have been unable to work it into a regular routine, and much as I try meditation I cannot make my mind go blank.  Maybe guided meditation would be better.

I like the idea of "observing" the thoughts and feelings. It sounds like a scientist.  I will cerainly try this- to let the brain go through all the different shapes and contortions it naturally does, but without automatically believing everything it says.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I have found them helpful.

Hi Tink!  First of all, I love your name and the cute pink hair in  the picture. I love when people dye their hair fun colors. I would highly recommend Ajahn Brahm videos on youtube. That is where I am re-learning meditation. You are correct that trying to make the mind go blank will be difficult, and I think, make meditation unpleasant. The way he explains it, and very simply and with humor, is kindfulness. He explains that mindfulness without kindfulness will be a struggle. You allow for whatever is happening and by allowing it can calm down. Willing it to quiet just makes the process not fun. I can't recommend his videos enough. There's no sternness, just kindness, and he also gives great lectures. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. You sound really attuned to somatic sensations so you will probably really enjoy meditation. And it sounds like being diagnosed is giving you additional purpose and focus. I'm happy for you that you're learning more about. And yes, it is guided meditation. And it is very much like being a scientist. In fact, the monk I am talking about was a theoretical physicist prior to becoming a monk. I love his kindness, humor, and good will. The best thing about it thus far is I am beginning to be able to have self-love. Very exciting. But it definitely was not by trying. When I tried, I came up blank.  Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Tink!  Very helpful to me!

  • Helpful 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
CB
On 8/15/2017 at 9:40 AM, Going home said:

I used to picture an inanimate object, ie: porcelain bowl, pan, tin can etc. .... then shrink it to a manageable size between the ears and just look ... aiming for around 25mins twice a day. At the time it helped alot.

It was preceded with slowly reciting and thinking about the following internal mantra a few times....

I have thoughts. They come and go. I can observe these thoughts, therefore I am not my thoughts (they are not my centre)

 

I was diagnosed at 53. Its taken almost two years to review pre-diagnosis life and come to terms with it in a comfortable way.

It takes time to consolidate set of symptoms and diagnostic label with ones deeper natural identity ... initially its a psychological shake up, but does gradually settle and consolidate over time

What an insightful remark. I love this! Because we are still whole beings and together it  makes us, but different components may seem more front and center at times.

  • Helpful 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×