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Aspiegf25

Confusing voices in the head??

5 posts in this topic

Hi, I'm new here so please tell me if I say anything that I shouldn't!! I myself don't have Asperger's, but my boyfriend does and I'm increasingly worried about him, so I was hoping you guys could give me some sort of insight from an Asperger's point of view. I'm going to call him Simon (I don't want to post his real name).

 

*The backstory*. We've known eachothef for over 10 years, and been together almost 2. I'm 18, he's 20. We've had a fab relationship and overcome a lot of difficulties, both Asperger's related and otherwise. 

A few weeks ago he got very upset which isn't particularly unusual, as he is very sensitive. After an hour of clinging to me and sobbing he got round to telling me that he's been hearing voices in his head which are telling him that he doesn't want to be with me. He's so upset because he says he knows that he 100% loves me and wants to be with me but there's this voice telling him otherwise. He said it's like a thought which is his own but he doesn't want there, and hasn't put there. He say's he's had the same thing in relation to belief in God (we're both Christians and he's a preacher). He gets very upset about it and he's terrified that he won't love me and we'll end up apart. The only way he can get over it when it happens is to see me and just hold me and cry. We've spoken to his mum and she said that when Simon was diagnosed they told her depression and sadness were common with Asperger's. Have any of you experienced anything similar? How did you overcome it? I want to be able to reassure him that he's okay, he's not crazy, and it will end. Thanks in advance. 

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Hey @Aspiegf25, welcome to the forum!  I think it sounds like your boyfriend is having irrational thoughts which is common in anxiety disorders which are common with Autism/Asperger's.  I think the fact that he can contradict the thought with what he really wants to feel shows it is an irrational thought.  I have had thoughts which I don't fully believe, in fact I can make myself laugh at the craziness my brain gets up to.  It sounds like it is something that is causing him a lot of anxiety. But he has to remember that he can control his thoughts. Although it can be difficult especially in the midst of having anxiety about irrational things, because they seem rational at the time! A lot of times I get crazy or make my boyfriend crazy when I let my anxieties get the best of me.  Later I feel silly because I can see what happened more clearly.

I think it will help that you both share a foundation in a belief in God, being Christians, because I feel that praying and having that faith really helps my anxiety.  So because you both have that faith, I recommend praying for him when you worry about him.  

I will also say, you both are very young, at 18 and 20 years old, I know as I have gotten older (I am only 27 now), I have gotten a better sense of myself and with that, I have more confidence and less anxiety and depression about things although I still get anxious and still let it take over if I am not careful.  

I wish you all the best, just be there for him and hopefully he will be there for you too when you need his support...

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Have you ever heard any of the perspectives from Eckhart Tolle? (Im sure almost everyone has these days). This is completely compatible with christianity - he does reference buddha sometimes, but also references Jesus. Wisdom is wisdom. He describes several practices to reduce excess or problematic thoughts

 

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTFDfR47dl4&t=47s

 

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On 09/08/2017 at 4:16 PM, Aspiegf25 said:

hearing voices in his head which are telling him that he doesn't want to be with me

I think autistic personalities can come under alot of pressure in this world due to misalignment of values or perception.

The modern social world often does not accommodate us. At times the persona is fragile or needs some recovery time.

I am beginning to understand that my own cognitive awareness can be like tunnel vision at times (not seeing the bigger picture). 
You partner clearly trusts you completely.

I think he may benefit from some structured down time / relaxation / recreation though if hes melting down regularly.

Speaking for myself I can push myself too hard for too long without a thought to relaxing, which ultimately just cultivates stress, narrow focus/narrow thought range and inflexibility. I have to consciously take time to relax  which can be a challenge.

 

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I started hearing voices at one point. Didn't turn out well... the fact inner doubt and under socialization can make an Aspie Stir Crazy. Aspies need socialization just like everyone else. Get out more and meet new people and have your BF help!

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