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      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here.  

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Laurie

Hi everyone, I'm a recent female college graduate with HFA. I was officially diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder by a doctor when I was 21.  It took me six months to find a job (which I'm grateful for getting) Overall, I like my job. I work at a doctor's office doing insurance verification. I like getting paid and getting good insurance benefits the most. I'm the youngest one at my clinic I've met some really nice people. However, there are some people I don't get along with and it frustrates me so sometimes I cry at work. (I've a big crier and cry when I'm overwhelmed frequently throughout my life. (I know I'm weird) I'm like ultra sensitive. 

Its just embarrassing when I cry at work and I don't want people to not like me. I'm making the best at my job because I need a good reference. 

Since graduating from college, I don't really hang out with people much which I'm fine with but I feel like I'm different than most people my age. 

I need some advice on what I should do for a job. I'm not sure if I want to continue with medical coding or insurance verification but I don't know what I'd be good at. 

Thanks!

 

 

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Heather

Hi welcome to the forum.

I also am embarrassed to say it but have cried at work.  At my new job that I have been at for 3 months it has mostly been only when I have made a mistake and then am trying to explain it.

I know I also cry sometimes when overwhelmed. Almost always the crying happens because I have to explain it and don't know how and I think it has to do with the pressure I feel to make a good impression and not to make mistakes. It is better now that I know what to do if I make most types of mistakes and also I am more familiar with my superviser and other coworkers so it is easier to let them know things.

I like my new job, it's an administrative assistant position. I answer and transfer calls and do routine things like billing, scanning, mail preparation and other things. It is so much better than my last job as a cashier which was more stressful but I was doing it more as a flexible job to get experience and money.

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Nesf

I sometimes cry or have a melt down when I'm overwhelmed, too, and I hate it happening because I lose control. Just remember that it doesn't mean that you are weak or not good at your job - people with ASD find it hard to recognise and regulate their emotions, I think this plays a much bigger role in autism than the doctors give credit for.

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Whoknows

Well, @Laurie. ¿What do you like to do?

If you're good at it, you could get a job. I'm a good at programming and painting, but I haven't really tried to get a job in any of both. ^_^

Edited by Whoknows
Clarify sentence to reflect meaning in it.

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RiRi

@Laurie You're not that different, because I've heard some cases of people crying here at work. I've cried too and I define myself as a extra sensitive person.

If you have tried to get along with some and they still don't get along with you then just move on. They don't have to like you and remember that some people (usually the odd ones out) don't like you for whatever the reason is, it might be because they might be jealous of you (1) or their attitude might just be a reflection of how shitty their life is. How they treat you says more about them than it says about you.

(1) Jealous that you're the youngest in the group and instead of celebrate with you, they will try to make your working experience miserable.

If you need to interact with them for work, try to and it they don't want to cooperate bring it up to your supervisor. It's okay to cry, we're all imperfect humans after all. Just don't ever let them bring you down. 

Edited by RiRi

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Laurie

@RiRi Thank you so much. You're really nice. My boss is really supportive of me and tells me the same thing. It's just hard because I'm in the same area as them. I think they're definitely jealous of me for some reason. My parents are really proud of me graduating from college with honors and getting and keeping a full time job. I've been lucky with my experiences. Just sometimes I get overwhelmed.
I still live at home (but most people my age do now) but it's nice that I make my own money.

What do you do if I may ask? Where do you live?

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RiRi

@Laurie No problem. Thank you for saying that. I'm glad your boss is very supportive. That really sucks that they work in the same area. Yes, something's up why they're being mean. I'm glad your parents are proud and they should be. 

I don't have a job because I'm too anxious to do so. I think about all the possible scenarios like people asking why I don't drive, having to take public transportation, etc. etc. And I currently don't even go out alone. I'm older than you, but I am able to be happy for and recognize others accomplishments. Like I wouldn't treat you in a mean way, not even if you did/you were the bully (but I would be scared of you and think you're a horrible person, if you're the bully). But that's just how I am. 

I rather not say where I live if that's okay. But, people on the forum have mentioned crying while at work, it's what I meant earlier.  

I'm glad that you're strong enough to remain there and not quitting because of them. I'm not sure if I would be able to stay, I have in the past, but it was because I knew I had to and I knew it would finish soon. It really debilitated me, though. :/ 

Edited by RiRi

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Laurie

You should try learning how to drive if you can. I started taking driving lessons at 15 and the driving instructor said I needed a year of maturity to really handle driving. And by 17 I was driving on my own. It gives you independence I think. I have gotten into minor accidents but I'm getting to be a better driver. 

It depends on where you live. Some cities have good transportation systems so you don't need to know how to drive. A lot of people in America probably don't drive and they don't' have ASD so I wouldn't feel bad about it. I just would learn if you want to. :) 

I want to stay because there are some people I work with that are super nice. I just have to ignore the mean ones.

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Harrow

RiRi is right. And I hope I'm not stepping over my place to say, but there is something that took me a long time to learn. People aren't necessary different or mean to not get along with. Like we sometimes struggle to get along with NTs because it's like they are from a different world, some of them feel the same, it's hard for them to know how to interact with us as well. 

All you can be is a good person :) which you sound like and let them figure out there own ways. 

The reason I wanted to say is because sometimes understanding helps with accepting 

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collectingrocks

Hi Laurie

What did you study and did you study your chosen subject with a career in mind?

The workplace can be challenging sometimes what with office politics etc. I find that I well up sometimes when talking to people and they ask me if I'm ok. And I'm truly a grown-up!

 

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Laurie

@collectingrocks I majored in psychology and minored in business. I don't really want to go graduate school and thats all you can do with a psychology degree. So I took a medical ooding exam and now I'm licensed to become a medical coder. That's what I want to do. 

 

What do you do? Thanks for asking :)

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collectingrocks

I am a clinical audiologist, diagnose and treat people with hearing difficulties and sound sensitivities. I also do some CBT on patients with hearing-related anxiety disorders, depression and those with suicidal thoughts.

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RiRi

Like @Harrow says, I do agree that sometimes that is the case, that people just don't get along due to different ways of seeing the world, different age group, demographics, etc. But, some people do seem deliberately mean for one reason or another. I know this is true because I've seen it happen to people who are genuinely nice, but yet, there's always the co-worker who is trying to put them doing. Sometimes it's out of jealousy, like they wish they were that person, or envy or because their life is just shitty, or they just wan't to put someone down to feel better about themselves. I can't see another reason for their deliberately rude behavior. Some people are just plain mean. 

@Laurie I think one of the anxieties/reasons I have for being scared to drive/keep practicing is that I don't want to make a mistake.

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Laurie

Oh wow thats awesome!!!

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