Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Willow

      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

      Please come in from the rain and sit by the fire! We're happy you found us and hope you will feel at home here.  
fairytattgirl

Jealousy / othello syndrome

Recommended Posts

fairytattgirl

Dont know if it is an aspie thing but does anyone have issues with jealousy that can lead to meltdowns and shutdowns. For me it is a big issue. A good example is this weekend when my partner mentioned his slag exes.  To cut a story short we talked about the future and kids and he mentioned he was glad he and those prozzies never had kids. In that conversation I thought he mentioned he wanted kids with them when they were together. From there it escalated in me being hurt and being really passive agressive and hating his slut exes to a point of violence even though it was the past and I have my own. We resolved matters but I know I need to deal with jealousy and making mountains out of mole hills. It just leads to anxiety and sadness

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Peridot

I occasionally might get a small spike of jealousy which then goes away as quickly as it came. It's not an issue for me. I think it's normally present in people this reaction (i.e. jealousy) but then there's the mind which sort of puts a cap on it.

Edited by Peridot

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Miss Chief

No I don't really suffer with jealousy, nor would I go out with someone who does... I did once and I vowed never to do it again. To be honest I generally have the opposite issues to you... I ignore the mole hills until they are mountains, communication is something I've had to work in relationships.

Does it matter if he thought he wanted to have kids with someone he used to be with when he was with them? I mean you always think you're with the right person until you realise you're not.

Also was it him using those words to describe his exes or was that you? I would be very worried if he describes his exes as slags, sluts and prozzies. What if you two split up... will he talk about you like that? It doesn't really show very much respect for women, does he treat you respectfully?

Edited by Miss Chief
  • Helpful 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Eliza

I'm laughing to myself because I remember once getting into a fight with my husband because a woman at his work gave him a piece of gum.  So, yea, I've had issues, lol. Major insecurity and trust issues. Over time (and a lot of patience on his part) I learned my husband was trustworthy.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RiRi

@fairytattgirl Interesting question. It had me thinking there. I feel like I could get jealous if guy I'm dating gives me reason to feel jealous. Like, if he treats his (girl) friends the way he treats me, then I would get jealous. Otherwise, I wouldn't. I don't think (girl) friends and a girlfriend should be treated the same, as an example. I think the girlfriend deserves more attention.

But, I'm not sure if this situation would only trigger a jealous person? Like, is there are person who wouldn't get jealous at that situation?

I feel there are levels of jealously, from very jealous to lesser jealous to maybe not jealous at all? Like the really jealous person would probably be someone who has you on check, even checks your cell phone, has your social medias passwords, what not. Then there's the lesser jealous person who gets jealous within reason? like the aforementioned situation where the guy treats his friends the same way he treats her. Then, I assume there's the absolute not jealous person who just doesn't get jealous all? lol I put question mark because I don't know if that's how it is. I just know there are very jealous people and people who are lesser jealous than that.

I guess I am a jealous person, but not extreme. I wonder if it's an aspie trait or just varies from person to person. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Miss Chief

@RiRi makes a good point I suppose if I had reason to be jealous like someone was behaving suspiciously then I might then but personally I would just talk to my partner in that situation and find out what is going on. We have been together over 11 years so we know each other pretty well and I know he wouldn't cheat so I don't worry about it. Also as I said before I once went out with someone very jealous, possessive and controlling for a few years and it was hell so I wouldn't want to put someone else through that or go through it again. I categorically wouldn't let someone check my phone/accounts nor would I do that to someone else, there needs to be trust in a relationship.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RiRi

@Miss Chief lol yes, I wouldn't let someone check my phone/accounts/etc. or vice versa, but non-related to jealously (or maybe so), I have noticed some couples seem to either give each other their passwords or one of them has control over the other one with their accounts and whatnot and the other person is okay with this is. That's a different subject and to each their own, but I won't ever allow this to happen. If it does, it would mean I am being bullied in my relationship, just because I'm not okay with it. I have given my boyfriend my password to my laptop because I needed him to do something for me in it and I was sick or not near my computer, but it never goes as far as he takes possession of my laptop or I take possession of his, etc., that will never happen. :lol: We wouldn't allow it. For one, I think people deserve some space and privacy and I think my boyfriend agrees with me on this. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×