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fairytattgirl

Two Year Curse

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fairytattgirl

So when it  comes to work provided the training style is not to communicative eg having someone instruct then watch rather than being given a book and left to self learn and test I can cope fine with work but after two years I can no longer cope. I am noticing this in my current job where I sometimes cannot function, cant deal with orders, the pressure and just feel drained. Short of changing drops, which is another matter Im lost at how to cope. Anyone have this issue and what do they do

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Miss Chief

What is your job? Is this a day to day part of your job or is it just something you have to do every so often when you need more training? Also have I got it right that you kind of need to 'do' the process to get it 'fixed' in your mind (I need to do that so I don't know if I am reading myself between your lines)? 

If it's more of a now and then thing...

Certainly I usually need to 'do' a thing in order to get it 'fixed' in my mind, but once I've done it I get it much, much quicker than other people (as in NT's) and I remember it... being as I have always worked in IT, any training we receive either tends to be online (that is a kind of self learning) so you can switch applications/screens to try out what you're learning as you go or if it is in a kind of classroom type environment with a trainer... it still tends to be on a computer so even though someone is standing up front walking you through stuff (with a projector/handouts) you are still personally in front of a computer so you can still do stuff to get it 'fixed' in your mind as you go.

Also, again because I work in IT... there is almost an expectation that us geeks will 'fiddle' with things... this means we learn about them; how they work, what breaks them, how to fix them, how to workaround an issue... so for me/my line of work, it's easy to do things in a way that suits me. It does help that I am very good at what I do, so trainers/managers rarely get on my case if they think I'm not doing it 'their way' or if they think I'm fiddling when I should be listening etc. Also I am good at listening while I am doing other stuff (presumably I can thank the ADHD for that) so they know from experience that I am not being distracted by what I'm doing or that I am still paying attention (despite appearances).

If I was pulled up on it I would just say "this is how I learn... if you want me to benefit from this training then you need to allow me to physically do the things you are talking about, otherwise I won't get it fixed in my head and then the training session will have been wasted". I would be careful to use a calm and respectful tone when I say that... I wouldn't want them to think I was being difficult or antagonistic towards them or the the training session but I would explain this is the best way for me to absorb and retain the material. 

Perhaps, you don't feel comfortable with that potential confrontation so to avoid it you could approach the trainer at the beginning of the session and ask to have a quiet word... then you could explain that you need to actually do the thing he is teaching you to do for yourself, in order to get it fixed in your mind and would he mind if you did that while he's talking? Or whatever it is you personally need to do to 'get it'.

Another option could be to record the session on your phone (assuming it isn't too long) so that then you can listen back to it while you go through it yourself later? Perhaps writing notes to help you remember later on?

Without knowing some more specifics, like what your job is, what the training is and what you personally need to make it work better for you... I don't think I can give too much more advise, if you would rather not say here, I'm always available via PM if you want, otherwise I hope that helps at least a little? :) 

Edited by Miss Chief
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Gone home

Years ago when struggling with work interactions - as an counteractive exercise - I used to imagine getting on extraordinary well with work colleagues (even the shitty ones) - I used to do this imaginary mental exercise on the way to work just for a couple of minutes. Though a manufactured outlook it certainly did help in the short term.

In 'theory', we have rights under disability law.

If you identify the  issues (social, sensory, routine/structure, clarity of instruction / role etc.) - you could suggest specific  'reasonable adjustments' they could make to accommodate / accept your disability.

As long as the adjustments are reasonable and not damaging to the business they should agree ( a bad company won't).
Under health and safety you should be highlighting the issues which you find damaging as employer employee obligations are mutual (mutuality of contract).

Long term you need a job that you can handle - as not coping but still turning up ultimately is damaging.
I'd also seek support from your GP.

If you are in the UK there is a formal scheme where you can 'theoretically' get support from the government (access to work scheme) to stay in work - link below

https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work
 

Edited by Gone home
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Ben

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but perhaps it's worth popping into the Job Centre (I know, swear word) and asking about what courses are available - and by courses I mean career coaching, etc.

In 2010 when I was well and truly in the shit, I had an appointed personal advisor and an advocate from two separate work based programs. One was organised by the Job Centre, and the other I sourced myself from searches - and yes, this was an agency specific for disabled people - whether physical, mental or otherwise. 

I don't think it's a case of being incapable, I just think you're in the wrong jobs. With coaching, an advocate will sit down with you, work with you, and get you to take work based psychology tests to determine your best career path. Because you shouldn't be getting to the two year mark and walking out, you should just be getting into your stride and chasing down that promotion/bonus.

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fairytattgirl

Thanks for the advice. I really feel it's time for a formal diagnosis now or to use the free EAP program. I know that with work I break after two years provided I get past training because I can't stand breaking breaking my zone to cater to increasing demands from others such as having to come in at a certain time regardless or interrupting what im doing to cater to different demands or in customer service the irrate unpredictable customers    get too much. I know for example my fav job was a data entry role where I was on my own punching data that made sense. Also my current job as a     employment screeer was fine until I had to do the customer service  component and was promoted to supervisor so managing people and more team work.  I know I hate the job search process so changing every few years is not the answer. I guess I should  also stop comparing myself    to NTs eg I hate supervising but because other Nts my age or even younger do it I feel the pressure and to look into affordable diagnosis. Thanks

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