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Roxy

Making A Pass At Person Across The Road And Getting Rejected

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Roxy

Anyone have any advice to avoid awkwardness? went to a friends house across the road and thought they were flirting with me, so I kissed them and they kissed back, but then they texted me a few days later after ignoring my texts to say they were shocked "I made a pass at them!" and now I think I've made the situation worse.. it took a lot for me to do that as a suffer from confidence and depression issues.

Plus this person also has kids which makes things much harder as there kids always come up to my dog when I'm walking my dog and are very clingy kids. So it will be hard to avoid contact with that person as my dog needs walks lol 

They live directly across the road so at one point we will bump into each other walking our dogs etc..

I must've misread the signals. Is moving the only option!? 

Edited by Roxy

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Roxy

By the way this person has bipolar so not sure if that means I need to approach this in a certain way otherwise I'll get a knife to my throat or beat up!? 

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Sanctuary

It clearly is an awkward situation. I think the best policy is to handle the matter in a low-key way and not raise it with this person unless they raise it with you - just carry on as you did before the incident. If they do raise it and seem unhappy just apologise and just say you misread the situation. Often these issues quickly fade from the scene. You certainly shouldn't think about moving with the massive disruption that would involve.

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Roxy
36 minutes ago, Sanctuary said:

It clearly is an awkward situation. I think the best policy is to handle the matter in a low-key way and not raise it with this person unless they raise it with you - just carry on as you did before the incident. If they do raise it and seem unhappy just apologise and just say you misread the situation. Often these issues quickly fade from the scene. You certainly shouldn't think about moving with the massive disruption that would involve.

We've been texting about it and I've really made them mad now, as I said they could do worse and that some people wouldn't be so accepting of their bipolar and kids like I am.. I was trying to say that I am and some people are not as nice as me. But they took it the wrong and now hate me apparently, told me not to message them again and leave them alone =( I said I'm sorry, I have a habit of making things worse when I'm nervous trying to explain myself.

Should I tell them I have Aspergers and sometimes I have trouble explaining myself when I'm nervous!? I didn't mean to upset them I said sorry if they took it the wrong way but they won't drop it.. 

Edited by Roxy

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Roxy

I'm worried and nervous about going out my door now as there house is literally opposite and will bump into them sooner or later =( 

I don't want confrontation/fighting.. might have to move :( 

Edited by Roxy

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Harrow

Don't move and don't let them worry you. 

My advice, send an apology, if you feel comfortable say you have aspergers and that you miss read the signs. 

If you want help wording it here, I'm sure people will be happy to help ☺

This kind of thing happens to everyone 

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Eliza

It sounds like you've already tried to apologize. I think you should just let it go and try not to act any different than you normally would when you bump into this person.

2 hours ago, Harrow said:

This kind of thing happens to everyone 

I agree with this. We've all done things that left us feeling embarrassed and vulnerable. This sort of thing usually fades with time.

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PandaPrincess

Ok, what I don't understand here is why they kissed you back if they didn't want it to be like that.  

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Miss Chief
On 27/11/2017 at 6:52 AM, Roxy said:

but then they texted me a few days later after ignoring my texts to say they were shocked "I made a pass at them!" and now I think I've made the situation worse..

Just because they were surprised doesn't mean they're not interested, it just means they weren't expecting it? Have they explicitly said they aren't interested? Try asking if it was a good shock or a bad one or asking if they would just rather forget that it happened?

EDIT: read the follow up message... ok that does sound a bit bad... perhaps try writing a note explaining better and apologising that it came out wrong?

Edited by Miss Chief

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collectingrocks
On 11/28/2017 at 1:14 AM, PandaPrincess said:

Ok, what I don't understand here is why they kissed you back if they didn't want it to be like that.  

That's what I thought. It takes two...

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Heather

I totally understand the embarrassment.  I think the best course of action here is to try and limit your interactions as much as possible with the person and try and keep it casual if you see them or their kids outside.  Just smile and say hi if you choose and then say you have to go and continue on your walk.  I think the idea of sending an apology note could be okay, as you could take your time to say what you want to say.  I know that I am better at writing things down if I really want to say something.  I think it helps also that the person has the opportunity to read and take in all you have to say without interrupting.  

I think we on the spectrum tend to overthink things and overexplain things a lot... which can make it worse. I have learned it is best to let things go. It helps when I write out what happened and how it makes me feel because at least I know my truth is written somewhere. I know it is difficult to move past it. I know with me, I do not like thinking others are upset with me. But I think at this moment, you both need time away from each other to settle and cool down and hopefully, in the future, you can be comfortable around each other again to be friends.  Don't feel bad though, I think this situation got blown out of hand and hopefully, things settle down.  It might be a good idea some time to let them know you have Aspergers or are on the spectrum and sometimes have trouble explaining yourself and hope they can give you the time to listen and that you did not mean any harm by what you said... but I think some time away might be good first.  And just try to move past the incident as best as you can. 

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DavidTheWitch

The person probably has problems or maybe they are taking advantage of you. Talk a little more to them to figure out how they seem other then how attracted they are?

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