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      Welcome to the forum!   09/17/2017

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Living Alone And Dealing With Rude/Aggressive Neighbous

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I'm one of the lucky ones with AS who can live independently.. but I find that once my neighbours see I'm vulerable they start to "take the piss" a bit like rudely closing their blinds on me when I'm in garden, not saying hello back when I say hello (when they are in the garden) and just basically telling me they will do this and that without asking..

They are a couple next door, always arguing etc and I never complain when they have parties etc.. yes I am a bit of a yappy dog, but she's never yappy during the night, so don't know why they are been so funny and closed off? the guy is Irish, maybe gypsy? maybe they are like that I don't know.. but where has the community spirit gone!? it's hard for me to say hello when I go in the garden, and for not to get a hello back really bothered me.. like have I upset them!? 


So how do you deal with people like this next door? is there anywhere you can ring that can mediate? as don't want to approach as I find they could be quite aggressive judging by their arguements and attitude.. 

I don't mind them wanting to keep themselves to themselves, but what I'm saying is IF they do become more aggressive/threatening is there any help I can get?


I might wear a camera next time I go in the garden, so I have the exchanges recorded just incase.. 



Edited by Roxy

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Miss Chief

Just ignore them, don't say hi if they don't say hi back.

I don't know where you live so I don't really know what is normal there but if you live in a city I would have thought that people don't really talk to each other unless they know each other socially. In the UK people who live in cities don't usually talk to their neighbours if they see each other although they might in more rural areas.

Please know that Irish people are not normally gypsies, true gypsies are Romany not Irish, the fact they are your neighbours means they are not gypsies, not that there is anything inherently wrong with gypsies, they just chose to live a different lifestyle to others but it isn't common for Irish people to live that lifestyle (or anyone really). What I mean is you can't assume every Irish person you meet is a gypsy or indeed that any gypsies you meet are Irish.

I don't really understand why you want mediation... you haven't said that they have done anything bad, just that they don't say hi to you? Why do you want them to talk to you if you don't like them? I also don't think they have done anything aggressive or threatening unless there has been an incident you haven't mentioned? 

What do you mean they tell you they will do something without asking... like what? I don't understand what you mean by this comment... what do they need to ask you about or tell you about?

Do your neighbours know you have AS? How do they see you as vulnerable?

If they get aggressive/threatening you can phone the police? 


Edited by Miss Chief
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Everyone is different. Just as we're all different on the autistic spectrum, NTs are also quite different in terms of their interests and outlooks and attitudes. 

I think the poet, John Lydgate, said it best. "You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time."

If your neighbors don't want to be friends, let them be. If you push on this, you'll just antagonize them and your relationship will get even worse. 

I once had a friend who was Hispanic and her neighbor was a white supremacist. The funny thing was that he didn't realize she was Hispanic because she was very fair skinned. It wasn't until she introduced herself with an obvious Hispanic family name that this guy really got offended. He began playing loud music at all hours. He would park his pickup with his high beams pointed towards her bedroom late at night. He also began knocking over his mailbox with his car.

After losing three mailboxes, she put up a 4th mailbox. Although this mailbox outwardly looked to be quite ordinary, it actually had a poured cement core that filled what would otherwise have been a hollow vertical support tube. 

The next time this bozo rammed her mailbox, he wrecked his car.

Although my friend won this particular battle, the war quickly escalated. I worry that someday this guy is going to crack and go after his neighbors with a firearm. 



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I don't have a big philosophical answer, just this:

Fuck em'. 

  • Haha 2

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They probably just want to keep themselves to themselves. And that's fine, as long as they aren't doing anything to bother you. I wouldn't worry about them, and just ignore them. There's no rule that you have to speak to them, and they speak to you, though it does help when they are friendly.

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Not here

Really if a person doesn't want to talk to you then you can't make them,

Anyway you can't just go around accusing them of being aggressive towards you just because they don't say hi

And really wearing a camera to record them in future? That's it actually invite trouble into your life 

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To make a good conscious effort to ignore them would be the best course of action in the long run. 

I have dealt with this situations in the past.  There's almost nothing one can do.  They keep living happy and one gets all worked up.  Best to just ignore.

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