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  2. Dr-David-Banner

    What Is Autistic Psychopathy?

    More or less I seem to have gotten my facts reasonably right. A few specialists have admitted the original autistic psychopathy has been watered down. Possibly what Lorna Wing wanted to say was the original diagnosis had an application beyond severe cases. She had patients who described symptoms applicable to Asperger's studies. She also met Asperger in person. However the point of the essays on my site is "Asperger Syndrome" means just that. It's a syndrome or aspect of something that inspired it. At least that's my interpretation. One criticism made against psychopathy is the subjects were all Europeans. There were no females included because they weren't affected the same way as males within school. At least not in the confines of Austria. My task therefore is simple. My hope is to promote autistic psychopathy as a diagnosis in its own right. The funny side of it is if you did out yourself as an autistic psychopath people would cry out, "Oh, my God! Who is safe?" It was originally Avoidant Schizoid Autistic Psychopathy which has more in common with Schizophrenia than movie psychopaths (socially adept).
  3. Ben

    The Real World

    You just have to forget what everyone else is doing and be relentless towards your own goals, passions, hobbies, interests, and live your best life whilst you have the chance. If you do all of that you'll always be happy.
  4. Did you go to a Christian school? At christian schools there are more interested in teaching Christianity than any other religion, that's what to be expected. I belief the explanation of how the virgin got pregnant with a boy is that he was conceived by the holy spirit. Also, a lot of religious dogma is not exactly scientific. These beliefs came about before the scientific revolution. Back in the middle ages, most people in the west really believed the sort of thing mentioned in religion classes. They saw it as sacred and beyond challenge. They even thought that God knew everything about the world perfectly well and left an explanation of everything vital for the prosperity and salvation of mankind.
  5. I wish I could recommend to you more of a success story as inspiration but sadly my employment background is dire. At least I now know it all runs far deeper than my being a failure. In reality it started from infant school and onwards. I was a classic case of high autism to fit Asperger's case studies to the letter - unable to function within a social educational structure. Later that extended to the sphere of employment. "Too slow! Not good enough!". The unique thing is I figured if I was excluded from acceptance as I was, I needed to keep doing something at least. So, I studied maths, electronics and music. I had plenty of time to dedicate to it so I got pretty good in those areas. Amazingly too I started to outperform those who used to see me as slow. Even more weirdly my employment issues took a 180 degree turn as I one day realised I was over qualified and over educated. In many ways it's a nightmare I'd not wish anyone else to go through but I have no answers. No matter how hard I worked to deal with the delays I suffered through autism, I still haven't been able to be accepted as I am - with the contradictions between being high functioning and social impotency. I have though made progress in defusing a lot of anger and frustration. It also gave me confort to discover other people have been similar to me. Many musicians shared a vulnerable, outcast personality. John Lennon did very poorly at school and even Brian Epstein was discharged from the army and bullied out of routine employment. His only job was selling vinyl records in his shop before he became a music manager. When The Beatles ceased touring it was too much for Brain and he was found dead in 1967. In fact a great many musicians died very young. And others just became successful in other ways.
  6. Eli

    The Real World

    I'm responding to this way late. Reason being I can more see this to be true, now. Just wanted to let you know that what you said was exactly what I needed to hear. Your philosophy, if you want to label it that, is very in sync with mine. I believe every word you said, but was having a low point, and needed to hear this to reorient myself. So thank you, Ben.
  7. Sanctuary

    Too Helpful

    I suppose this is one of the problems with any label / classification / diagnosis. The intentions can be good and in the right hands can be very helpful but wrongly used these things are used (often subconsciously) to limit what people can do. However without knowledge that a person has a condition or problem they receive no support and are often treated very negatively. For example many individuals with ASD which is undiagnosed or undisclosed are unfairly seen as being "difficult", "not fitting in", "stuck in their ways" or "slow to learn". Knowing of a diagnosis or condition can still lead to unfair treatment such as feeling they can't do things. There are no easy answers but it's important that whenever we are aware that someone has some sort of condition it is something we are mindful of and see as a potential impediment or explanation of their behaviour / performance, not as something that sets limits on what they can do. It is used to provide understanding and support, not to hold them back. Even when we don't know of a condition or problem we need to avoid rushing to judgement as there may be things in a person's background that are holding them back - our attitude should always be supportive and to help others towards the best performance.
  8. Miss Chief

    Too Helpful

    I can't say that I have experienced what you're talking about, like you while I was aware of being different/on the spectrum when I was a teenager, I was an adult when I was diagnosed and I do see the advantages of that, I was pushed to do better when I was young and indeed I did, I do think that I wouldn't have adapted as much as I did if I had been diagnosed and it would be because the people who pushed and challenged me would have probably gone easier on me but HFASD/AS wasn't really a well known thing when I was at school. However, no one has ever told me I can't do something and certainly not because of my AS. If anything I sometimes feel people expect too much of me, it was known that I had a high IQ when I was quite young (my mum got me tested and told my teachers) and so people in my life be that teachers or family and even friends (although perhaps for a different reason) tend to expect me to do well and manage and find a way. I would also say that my AS isn't really what holds me back, yes I am a bit quirky, stubborn and set in my ways but people tend to accept that about me generally, plus I have always has AS and so I have always coped with it, it's my depression and the fact I lack motivation and energy that really causes me issues perhaps my ADHD too, I was only diagnosed recently so I don't know how much of an impact that has had. I don't really know any kids or parents of kids on the spectrum so I can't speak to that side of things but I agree that you should still push kids to be the best that they can be irrelevant of any conditions that may hold them back. I think that at school I used to do the minimum amount of effort necessary to do well enough so being pushed was definitely good for me
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  10. Dr-David-Banner

    Do you consider yourself disabled?

    I am very much a minority I think as I sort of frown on the whole concept of autism = "help!". On the Russian forum I visit, it sort of gets up my nose we are supposed to seek help and take drugs or hormones to be "cured". As if nature never uses deviations in the evolutionary process. Despite being unemployable for the most part, I consider I perform perfectly fine in the narrower spheres of my interests. I choose not to accept at face value the ethics of societies that judge value and worth on the basis of income, wealth or popularity. So, realistically I accept my practical limitations but am very confident in my deviating identity. I am also maybe too harsh on others who seem to put their faith in so-called normal people to somehow remedy the situation. I mean, why not just allow the differences to develop?On the Russian forum I must be the only autistic adult not to post threads about what medicines to try to attain normality. As if neurotypicals are superior. There's a famous quote by Nichola Tesla who was the world's greatest electrical inventor. He stated being alone and apart is what drives imagination and creativity. Tesla was known to have OCD.
  11. Dr-David-Banner

    Do you consider yourself disabled?

    Do you connect emotionally with other people and feel you can be understood? Do you connect to your environment? I do not myself suffer depression now but I do suffer a kind of lethargy and believe it to be a symptom of not connecting. Normal people can share their emotions and feel included but isolation can affect other emotions.
  12. Does it ever bother anyone else when someone who is a parent, friend, boss etc. to someone with autism is all about protecting them from every real experience a 'normal' person would have? I don't know if that makes sense, but there have been times when I've seen parents of high-functioning autistic kids who always tend to default to,"I don't think that's a good idea", or notions of,"there's some things they just can never do or be." I understand that some part of it may be coming from a place of compassion, but it actually kind of offends me and pisses me off. I feel sometimes like there's this tendency to just reaffirm ideas of 'you're different, you can't, you shouldn't, you're autistic, you're autistic...YOU'RE AUTISTIC, BY THE WAY.' It's a mentality of "he or she's autistic so he or she can't help it". But people with autism can improve, they just need consistency and acceptance. I think NT's sometimes still think autism = intellectual disability. I didn't get diagnosed until I was an adult. I tried to get my parents to send me to someone, because I was pretty sure something about me was different and I wanted to know what it was. Know why? Because I wanted a label that I could wear that says,"Take it easy on me". And that would have been nice some of the time, because childhood and adolescence were not a good time for me. But I got treated like any other kid when I had meltdowns, and other kids looked at me weird if I was stemming like crazy, and people didn't like me when I was unintentionally rude or off-putting. And after a while, I learned from those experiences and was able to adapt to the NT world. Was it easy or pleasant? Heck no. But after having been allowed those experiences, it has made the world far more accessible to me, and I am far more capable of adapting to my environment, rather than demanding that the environment be adapted to me. And I don't consider it changing who I am, I consider it to be an invaluable tool that has made life easier for me. I love who I am, Asperger's and all, and I just wish that more NTs could understand that people on the spectrum can learn, adapt and cope with life just like everyone else, and that there's a balance between getting a diagnosis, and building every conceivable crutch to support the challenges that go along with it. It's debilitating, in my opinion. To a reasonable extent, you have to let people go out and bruise their knees and their egos, so that they can grow and learn. Of course, it is a spectrum, and I do know there are some people who have severe autism who do require more support than your average NT. But I just believe that NT's tend to react to the word autism like it means this person is this fragile thing that needs to be swaddled at every turn. What I'm talking about is a balance. Does anyone know what the heck I'm talking about? Does anyone agree or disagree?
  13. You could almost be describing me! Although I'm qualified for higher level jobs and have done them in the past my recent employment background has been difficult and often it seems the more routine jobs are the only ones I'm considered for. Almost all jobs requiring higher qualifications are looking for (although they would never say so explicitly) someone just out of college or university, or they want someone with past experience in that work, specific work-related qualifications or who can move to other parts of the country. This is a problem many people find themselves in - they may be academically well-qualified and have years of experience (sometimes successful) in certain jobs but once they reach a certain age or leave their previous careers (for whatever reason) their options become more limited. You're quite right that appropriate jobs are out there, as are more supportive employers, but they need a lot of searching for. You're also right that misconceptions by employers about ASD are a key part of the problem and need to be corrected. Simply stating a diagnosis on an application form or mentioning it without further explanation isn't going to help one's case. The key (whether there is a diagnosis to declare or not) is to frame our position in the most positive way possible - to stress what we can do rather than what we can't, as well as looking for jobs which fit our profile of abilities better - a job that fits us rather than a trying to fit ourselves into what may be an unsuitable job. For example a job which doesn't require many practical skills and which has an individual workload, very specific tasks and lots of structure is better for me and that is probably true for many with ASD.
  14. I don't think employers will discriminate against you at all. However I do advise to be careful how you describe your condition. I say that because generally people associate autism with low functioning individuals. Most people don't understand you can be effectively crippled in social interaction while remaining above average I.Q. I would never describe myself as autistic to laymen and outsiders. What I do find is if I were to refer to "difficulties interacting" or something like that, nobody bats an eye-lid. Therefore if you do get a diagnosis and refer to it carefully you should have no discrimination issue. Pretty much most of my employed friends have panic attacks or depression and anxiety. Moreover, you could go private if you can afford it. The main issue for you is it sounds you need support in your job due to the struggles of your spectrum related symptoms.
  15. I am maybe in a similar position. The problem for me was by the time I became convinced high functioning autism was a huge factor - I felt the system had already missed the boat. The first G.P. I approached stated my conclusions seemed ridiculous, although he did refer me to a local Asperger support group. This latter organization was sympathetic and supportive. Gradually though autism became one of my main interests and I got very confident in the subject. At least so far as it referred to me. Of course, there is a big problem here: I cannot work in pretty much any routine job. I am physically slow and tend to appear strange to people. When I was employed over a ten year period, complaints were made. They had to swap me around a lot. The facial recognition issue was also a problem as I couldn't often register people. So, I got left in limbo. Officially I have no diagnosis at all. Moreover nobody knows about my secret. Having said that maybe a few people put two and two together. Somehow though I have major issues putting faith in a system that was never there for me. This is just me personally. I'd have thought surely in school something ought to have been undertaken. Rather than assume some kids are dunces or thick. I will add also I am not totally unemployable. A little support and some understanding would have allowed me to fit in a bit more.
  16. Aeolienne

    The Undateables

    More about Heather: The hopeless romantic who's terrified of love
  17. I first learned about ASD just over ten years ago and have believed ever since that it affects me. Lots of reading (including on this forum), personal analysis and online tests have reinforced this self-diagnosis although of course I could be wrong. I have no doubt that undergoing "official" diagnosis would be enlightening and possibly helpful in other ways but two factors in particular have discouraged me going further. The delays and other difficulties involved in getting a free diagnosis through the state health system (NHS), or the costs of seeking a private diagnosis. The possible negative impact in terms of employment of having a diagnosis. For me this is the chief reason why I have been reluctant to take matters further. Exploring the second point a little more, a diagnosis is supposed to help someone with ASD receive more support at work, or to help them find more appropriate employment. My fear - and that's all it may be rather than grounded in fact - is that unfortunately many employers when aware of a diagnosis will discriminate against those with ASD. This is most likely to happen when applying for jobs as it is very difficult for any applicant to prove that declaring ASD was why they weren't selected for interview, or were then unsuccessful at interview. If someone is already in employment these issues do not apply but there is no guarantee employers will make adjustments and a diagnosis may send a signal to some employers that a worker is "needy" or "difficult" or has limited prospects, e.g. they may be unlikely to be promoted. However I am also aware that declaring ASD to potential or current employers can be useful. Some employers claim to be "autism-friendly" and may be more ready to support those with ASD. Some claim to offer guaranteed interviews to candidates with ASD meeting the job specification - although whether they have any serious intention of employing them is another matter. If employers know a candidate has ASD they may be able to offer a more supportive interview, e.g. being more aware of how socially anxious an ASD candidate may be on such an occasion. If someone with a diagnosis finds getting or retaining employment difficult in the long-term government agencies may be more supportive than if there is no diagnosis. I still believe the risks of discrimination / negative judgement outweigh the possibilities of more support but I may be wrong. I'd be interested to know from those diagnosed as adults whether they feel this has helped (or hindered) them in their lives, particularly regarding employment. Some members will have been diagnosed at younger ages and your views on whether the diagnosis has been useful will also be good to hear.
  18. Tylermc

    Tylermc

    I'm really sad and heartbroken 😭 today 

    1. Joie6

      Joie6

      I hope that you get better 😉

    2. Myrtonos

      Myrtonos

      Why? Is it personal?

  19. Another problem I've experienced related to anxiety or other personal troubles - and which others may have had as well - is a reluctance to tell others. I tend to keep problems to myself for fear that involving others will burden them in some way, e.g. that they may feel under pressure to help, that they may worry about my welfare. "Confessing" bigger problems is harder than smaller ones which seem less burdensome to others. Perhaps ironically outlining worries can be harder to do with friends or family members because of the existing emotional connection - they may feel more "obliged" to help than those who are less well-known. Sometimes I even worry that talking about certain fears will cause others to have them - planting anxieties they previously didn't have in their heads. Guilt is often wrapped up in anxiety and there can be a feeling of guilt in drawing attention to our problems. However we have to overcome that reluctance to talk and not be afraid to seek help when we need it.
  20. Aeolienne

    Feeling not happy

    Your manager takes you to the gym? What kind of job is this?
  21. Dr-David-Banner

    Dr. Tony Attwood's videos on Aspergers

    First observation. Dr Atwood and Baron Cohen rank very highly in autism spectrum psychology. Tony Atwood's knowledge comes from academic study and time spent with patients. It interests me only one specialist who isn't neurotypical is Paul Cooijman. In most cases you're looking at an outside analytical appraisal of a condition. I find it easier the other way round. Looking at it from the inside. The main proponent of that method was Jiddu Krishnamurti who to me makes a lot of sense. Apart from that Asperger made the point his own autistic patients had highly refined self analytical skills. They were too young to articulate exactly what their symptoms were so their behaviour was interpreted. Having said that if you do have autism and research psychology there's a danger of personal involvement in the subject. It's very close to home.
  22. Dr-David-Banner

    What Is Aspergers Syndrome? by WillowHope

    Prosopagnosia exists not just as one diagnosis. Full prosopagnosia means you can't recognise faces or distinguish photos. The prosopagnosia I suffer seems to get better or worse. I had it in reverse too where I thought someone I approached was someone I knew. A very strange look made me realise I had been mistaken. Also any significant change in hair style could cause me not to dare risk using a name of address. I may not know who someone is at all.
  23. Dr-David-Banner

    Academics

    “The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. Self-knowledge has no end - you don't come to an achievement, you don't come to a conclusion. It is an endless river.” ― Jiddu Krishnamurti" In other words, it doesn't matter what other people think but what you "know" or "learned" about yourself. Eventually, I learned my strengths are more theoretical. I am a bit lazy to be good at doing things.
  24. Aeolienne

    The Undateables

    There's going to be a second autistic woman in the latest series, back tonight in its usual 21:00 slot on Channel 4: The award-winning series returns with more singletons looking for love, including film buff Charlotte, who has Asperger's, and Mitch, who was born deaf and lip reads when dating. (S9 Ep1/3) The previous one was Heather in the second series: Series 2 episode 4: Heather, Gareth & Matthew
  25. Aeolienne

    Asperger's and chess

    FWIW, I've got a maths degree but I've never made much headway with chess. I know all the moves (including castling and en passant) but I've never been able to develop any sense of strategy. I once went along to a chess club in my workplace, but (like an orchestra) it was pitched at people who could already play at a certain level and I wasn't able to pick up anything by watching. It has been suggested that the best way to improve my chess would be to put in the hours playing it on my home computer, but that doesn't appeal. I'd be more interested on going on a chess retreat, i.e. a short intensive chess course in a country house hotel, if such a thing exists. According to the person I spoke to at the aforementioned office chess club, the only residential chess courses that exist are aimed at schoolchildren - but that was over a decade ago. Someone on another (not ASD related) internet forum suggested I should take up bridge in order to find a partner, as I don't seem to be having much luck of late with internet dating. I can't help thinking that the same caveats that apply to chess would also be relevant here: that you have to be at a certain level to play socially and getting to that level means setting aside time to practise at home. Am I on the right wavelength here?
  26. While I understand what you are saying and I imagine it is worse for men than women, (given societies expectations that men; protect, provide and generally be strong) the fact is struggling with mental illness does not mean you are weak, if anything it means you are stronger, you have all that extra crap to deal with and still you struggle on. Also if you can learn to deal with it, find a coping strategy or a way of getting yourself out of the rut or even better recognising when you begin to spiral down and taking proactive action to stop the decline before it has too much of an impact then you are going to ultimately be stronger for it. You now have a better understanding of others who struggle with this but also you have the tools and the skill to overcome it. You might even be able to help others in similar situations. I have to say exercise and a healthier diet can make a huge difference for me (I am not saying you don't already do that, perhaps you do but if you don't then it can help), I know when you are low or anxious it can be like getting blood out of a stone... just thinking about exercise can be exhausting, but if you can get a friend or family member to help, you can motivate each other, then the exercise pays off really quickly, it is kind of weird how expending energy results in you feeling like you have more of it but it really does work and it can give you a huge emotional boost, not to mention being confidence building. I am trying to get myself to go swimming at the moment, although it's really hard especially that first time. Well yes I think the issue is when you are actively avoiding something specific and you are avoiding it all the time. For example when I was in an abusive relationship I decided that it would be better if I stayed sober, that way I was less likely to allow the situation to escalate, but I didn't like being around drunk people when I was sober so my solution was to just not go out socially, this resulted in me getting exceedingly debilitating agoraphobia, where I would literally go without cigarettes for 10 hours because I just couldn't leave the house to go to the shop, if I had to leave the house I would get nausea, diarrhoea, vomiting. Worst part was the treatment was basically to go out and get over it. Which is why avoidance can be dangerous, it's fine if it's just now and then but don't let it take over You are welcome... that is what this place is all about, supporting and helping each other
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