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Showing topics in Symptoms & Diagnosis, Friendships & Relationships, Education & Work, Help & Resources and Medication & Therapy posted in for the last 365 days.

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  1. Last week
  2. When a friendship ends it's of course painful when it's a betrayal. I've had this too a few years ago where two friendships went sour. But we need to be with the people we are supposed to be with and not the people we aren't supposed to be with. That's the way it is, I'm sure you'll agree. I'd say leave school altogether as it's a toxic environment. But if you continue to go, then just treat the girl in neutral way. Just move on... It isn't worth putting lots of energy into as it wouldn't be productive. Hope you feel better soon.
  3. Hi Guys, so as you can tell from the title, my good friend from the past about one and a half years stopped hanging out with me and started hanging out with another girl after I trusted her with my diagnosis. I think this is because of my diagnosis but I am not really a person to trust with social skills anyway, what should I do? I am in a small school where I can’t really avoid her- How should I handle this? Please help!
  4. Whoknows

    Do you have a supportive family?

    Let me see... I was diagnosed quite early in my life, but my parents kept it secret from me, until high school. I think, in both time periods, they did what they thought was best for me. On my side, I'm not sure all of their choices were good. If it's food and shelter, everything's covered (even my gaming habits). On education, I don't really know what to make of it. The best choice I've ever made there was hated by my entire family, but I kept going anyway (and it helped me a lot). On psychology, there's only one thing I have against my parents, but it's been almost 9 years, since then. Well, put simply, my family is not fully aware of my diagnosis, but they've been quite supportive, anyway.
  5. Aspie.Iris

    Acting Neurotypical

    I definitely act neurotypical at school all day and then end up coming home and melting down. It is really rough for my family and I am not getting the support I need at school because no one believes I have ASD.
  6. Aspie.Iris

    Feeling Alone

    I feel exactly the Same way.
  7. As a teen on the spectrum I need help and support, one of the reasons why I’m here, but I can’t seem to find any help in person
  8. Hi @Alice Thank you for this article. It's interesting. As for me, I always had troubles to make friends. When I was a child, I used to begin my school year with one or two mates (girls) and to finish the year alone. Now, I've got a few friends with whom I feel good. I fear to give my trust to bad people, what I used to do when I was younger. That's why I've become more selective. The most frustating experiences are when I want to be friend with a girl but I don't know how to do and finally, I don't have any occasions to do it anymore. Otherwise, I find that it's easier to be friend with boys than girls.
  9. Earlier
  10. Aeolienne

    LiveStream - Ask Me Anything

    What do you think of Greta Thunberg?
  11. (Not written by me) ‘Nature became a support system’: How autism helped me campaign for wildlife A 15-year-old conservationist and activist from Northern Ireland writes about how it’s easier for him to connect with the natural world than other aspects of life By Dara McAnulty As a toddler, I crawled to observe, and sometimes catch, anything that moved: caterpillars, woodlice, ants. I intently observed birds, their behaviour and watched in wonder at their intricacy and how they interacted with everything around them. At this stage, I was unaware of my difference but as I grew, I knew the world was too noisy, too busy, too confusing and too overwhelming. I was diagnosed with Asperger's / autism aged five, at the insistence of my school – my parents had accepted and nurtured my eccentricities and even though I knew that I made life challenging for them. They always showed unconditional love and acceptance. Nature brought so much understanding to my life. It satiated my curiosity and then quenched my thirst for knowledge. My capacity to feel at one with the confusing aspects of our world grew when I was immersed in nature and learning all about it. My differently wired brain was at peace. By age seven I knew I was very different, I had gotten used to the isolation, my inability to break through into the world of talking about football or Minecraft was not tolerated. Then came the bullying. Nature became so much more than an escape; it became a life-support system – although I didn’t realise it then. By age 12, my mental health was in tatters, years of bullying and isolation had taken its toll. I decided that I would write, unlock all the feelings that were swirling in my head, I needed to express what I couldn’t in real time through conversation. I started writing a blog about nature, autism, species I was interested in, the habitats they lived in and the challenges they faced. It quickly gained popularity beyond my wildest dreams. I joined Twitter and three years later, my life is irrevocably changed. I was invited on to Springwatch, asked to write articles for the Wildlife Trusts and my local newspapers. The BBC wanted to film me, record me for radio – all of this was completely unnerving and at times overwhelming – but I pushed through because even though it was all so new, I was doing what I loved. I was being myself. During this time, realising the extent that nature was suffering, I quite accidentally became an activist. I started campaigning firstly against the illegal persecution of hen harriers – a protected raptor, endangered and increasingly rare. It hurt me so deeply, that the words on the page needed to be spoken out loud. I stood up and spoke that first time, aged 13, and all of a sudden I felt a great strength burn inside me. I realised I had potential to do good, to give back to nature – which has given me so much joy, wonder and healing. One of the qualities of being autistic is our determination and focus. Many people call our interests ‘obsessions’, I call them passions. My passion is the natural world, our planet, all life we share it with and the challenges it faces. I will never give up. Wherever my passion is willing to take me I am ready for it, it’s who I am. Read more from Dara at youngfermanaghnaturalist.com and follow on Twitter @NaturalistDara Source: The Big Issue
  12. Peridot

    Can an aspie succeed in the medical field?

    That's cool that you are online acquaintances/buddies. I like her accent. How the word but is pronounced "boh" lol. There's someone else called Delicate ASMR who has the same accent. I don't know much about FrivolousFox but I have heard of her.
  13. HalfFull

    Can an aspie succeed in the medical field?

    @Peridot Wow, I can't believe someone else in the AS world knows her. I'm actually one of her closest supporters and she knows me online. It was her Lancashire accent video that drew me to her since its where I live and I ended up being one of her closest supporters hence she knows me online. I've not engaged with any others but briefly encountered FrivolousFox not knowing she was quite as big as she was.
  14. Peridot

    Can an aspie succeed in the medical field?

    I love Miss Synchronicity! She's so cool... I've been binge watching her videos the past couple of weeks or so. But I don't think she's an aspie. She's an introvert but NT it seems to me. Tenderloving I saw in a video where she was drawing and the way she spoke in that video e.g. just screams AS to me. lol It hasn't been stated though. Was just about to watch this Miss Synchronicity video: She's so nice and awesome!
  15. HalfFull

    Can an aspie succeed in the medical field?

    I did ponder if she was an aspie, but is this just your opinion or has it been stated? I did wonder about Miss Synchronicity for a while but perhaps not.
  16. Peridot

    Can an aspie succeed in the medical field?

    There is an ASMR person (even though she doesn't upload anymore) called Tenderloving ASMR who I think is an aspie and she's a nurse.
  17. HalfFull

    Can an aspie succeed in the medical field?

    I'm sure they can. I know Aspies who have been doctors and nurses. Chance are that a specialism would be quite good, but I imagine that most would make good GPs because people come to you with their symptoms and you diagnose them, with just a little bit of physical contact at times.
  18. If we assume a U.K. population of 70,000000 and, as in the article above, we take one in every hundred as autistic, well, at least the maths quoted adds (0.01 X 70,000000. That adds to 700,000 people. Just out of interest, I compared the figures with other stated "disorders". Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, for example, was rated about the same as "autism" but schizophrenia was rated at 14.5 per 1000 people (far less that the 1/100 for autism. I must admit to being a bit wary that political correctness could make a complex situation even more complicated. For example, I simply could never understand why jobseekers have been asked to tick boxes to label themselves as non-heterosexual or transgender. Overall, it gives me the impression that rather than practise real tolerance, the whole idea is for the companies or institutions to wave their flag of tolerance and inclusion as a political statement. It shouldn't matter what anyone's sexuality is or be anybody else's business. Alternatives? I think it boils down to training in schools and awareness there. I think children suffering with HFA should be given the opportunity to go to specialised schools with trained staff rather than struggle in mainstream school. I think the idea in the USSR where adults with HFA were employed in specialised centres was actually a good idea.
  19. Hello everyone, I've been volunteering in my local A&E department as a way to get experience and keep busy. I've been thinking about returning to university, perhaps learning about medicine since I'm having zero luck finding anything in my field of study. But generally speaking, there aren't a lot of autistics in medicine or at least none that I know about in public life. I think that other people tend to generalize and think that an autistic doctor should be like Shaun Murphy from The Good Doctor, but I think that he's a bad example because his strength comes from his savantism rather than his autistic traits.
  20. Interesting points. I do, however, disagree with the modern day conception that autism is present 1 in every hundred people (as stated above). Applying logic to the said statement, why would HFA or LFA affect over 700, 000 people in the UK alone yet schizophrenia, BPD or even MPD remain less typical? I grant we have a new and definite problem with I.T (digital) dependency related symptoms. I think awareness of that will gradually be accepted since more children are being affected. I found that in the USSR autistic children were sent to special schools where they often were able to perform well. As adults they were actually allocated special employment. So oddly enough, the USSR actually had a system to allow autists to function. The support and awareness needs to start from early school, I think.
  21. (Not written by me) Understanding the benefits and challenges of neurodiversity in tech Neurodiversity is severely lacking in the tech sector. In light of the skills gap and the moral value of diversity, it's time organisations create more welcoming and productive work environments for neurodivergent employees According to a 2018 report from Tech Nation, 83% of the tech community in the UK believe their biggest challenge is accessing skilled workers. While some employers are quick to argue it’s a simple case of demand outstripping supply, some claim it’s because too many talented people are going unnoticed by recruiters. This realisation has spurred many businesses to become more diverse and inclusive. As such, in recent times, there’s been a lot of discussion around how to effectively attract staff of all ethnicities and genders. However, there’s a growing view emerging that more needs to be done in the area of neurodiversity. Research from the National Autistic Society found that just 16% of autistic adults are in full-time work and of those who weren’t, 77% wanted to be. Autism affects more than one in 100 people, which means over 700,000 people in the UK are autistic. That’s a huge pool of underutilised people that could be contributing to workplaces in many sectors that are currently being overlooked. What is neurodiversity and how can it help tech? Proponents of neurodiversity argue that in the same way we acknowledge a diverse range of sexualities, philosophies and cultures, we should accept a range of different modes of thinking as part of the human condition. At the same time, we should not pathologise those who experience the world in a different way but learn to embrace and include these different perspectives and modes of thought. Speaking with Information Age, Catherine Leggett, an employment consultant with the National Autistic Society, argued the problem is that autistic people tend not to be diagnosed on their strengths; they’re diagnosed on their difficulties. According to her, there is now also a growing body of academic research that suggests neurodiversity has tangible benefits for businesses. While no two people on the autistic spectrum are the same, people with autism often have desirable qualities for employers, particularly in tech, such as having high levels of concentration, strong mathematical abilities and excellent memories. As such, there’s a growing number of big firms who are keen on accessing neurodiverse talent; such as SAP, Hewlett Packard Enterprise (HPE), Microsoft, Willis Towers Watson, Ford, EY and DXC Technology. How enterprises can be neurodiverse One of the most challenging things about becoming neurodiverse is that there is no one size fits all approach to hiring people with autism. As the esteemed professor and autism advocate Dr Stephen Shore put it: “If you’ve met one individual with autism, you’ve met one individual with autism.” However, according to Leggett, it’s essential to recognise that certain recruitment procedures often inadvertently create barriers for autistic people. The good news: there are numerous minor adjustments that businesses can make to their hiring process that will help autistic candidates demonstrate their skills. First of all, Leggett suggested organisations use clear and concise job descriptions when hiring. According to her, job descriptions often include skills that are not essential for the job to be carried out effectively. Qualities such as ‘excellent communication skills’ or ‘good team player’ are often included as default skills, even if they are not necessary – and many autistic people will not apply for jobs demanding these attributes. Organisations should also adapt their candidate selection process. “Many autistic applicants may not have achieved the kind of minimum educational qualifications or standards that are required, and this can be for a number of reasons,” said Leggett. “Perhaps they’ve got a later diagnosis and have been unsupported, or they might have conditions like dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, which all affect academic performance too. So be flexible about your criteria for education and particular skills and experience. “A lot of autistic graduates start their careers much later in life than non-autistic people and may have patches or gaps in their employment records.” Where neurodivergent people struggle is obtaining a job in the first place, added Leggett, since they can fall short on the requirements for strong verbal and nonverbal communication skills typically needed in a traditional job interview. Autistic candidates often struggle to ‘sell themselves’ in an interview, even if they have all the right skills. As such, organisations should offer job trials instead. If you would like to take this approach, NAS’s Employment Training Service can offer support and advice. Maintaining your neurodiverse workforce According to the BIMA Tech Inclusion and Diversity Report, neurodivergent employees are more likely to be impacted by poor mental health, 84% vs 49% for neurotypical workers. This suggests that beyond attracting neurodivergent talent, businesses need to be paying better attention to the quality of their working conditions. “Businesses need to be looking for what could be causing anxiety and working with their employees to put an adjustment in place for them,” said Leggett. “Often with younger people, it’s travel training and things like that. With older people, it could just be overwhelming sensory inputs, and that’s exhausting. “It could also be that they’re working in a highly social workplace; without adjustments in place they’re going to really struggle to meet those kinds of social expectations.” Is tech accepting of neurodiversity? According to Leggett, while a lot of work needs to be done, there is a lot to be optimistic about. She said: “We are now being approached by employers who want to do autistic intern programmes, apprenticeships and work experience. They know that’s where the talent is. “However, while it might be business needs driven at the moment, the actual motivation we would hope would be that it’s a moral and a social one. Everybody needs a chance at work, it’s so important for your identity, your independence, even just to make basic choices in life. “Neurodiversity produces this really positive kind of workplace cultural shift in how people are valued. Your clients and your service users are also neurodiverse so it can only be a good thing really. The more diversity you have, the more creativity and innovation you have, but also you’re demonstrating to your customers that you’re reflecting the world as it is.” Source: Information Age
  22. It's interesting to try and put yourself mentally in a movie or drama scene. I find Dallas is good for this, especially the dinner scenes. It's amazing how they smile and make eye contact. In Dallas the dinner conversation is really routine and superficial. Imagining myself there as if in the scene I imagine I'd appear remote and disconnected. I am, however, strongly convinced the subconscious mind is also a factor. In my view the subconscious mind influences the conscious mind in ways you're not aware. Check out the old Columbo episode where millisecond images were put into a movie reel. These showed glass of coke so fast you couldn't consciously see the coke yet the subconscious mind did. As the heating was up, people would go and buy the coke. Now I won't get into oscillation and radio modulation but our brains do transmit and receive frequencies. I am told potentially the subconscious is a hugely active part of the brain. Thus, apart from the tangible stimulae such as tone, intonation, expression and vocabulary, I like to factor in the brain as a transmitter. Also we know too well speech can be reproduced electrically at lower frequency (3000 cycles per second max). All we do is amplify the speech waves and use a speaker to convert back to vocal audio. What I'm trying to say I guess is speech has an electrical pulse basis. The irony is a famous John Lennon track that originally was "No-one I think is on my wave. I mean it must be high or low". Here John meant he couldn't relate to anyone as they were either more or less intellectual. Nobody was bang on his own waveband or "tree".
  23. Dr-David-Banner

    Autistic people never get the slack that other minorities are given

    Here is the score, as I understand it. This is a cycle that began at school and caused major disruption onwards. Despite that, the difference is at school the neurological problems (such as attention deficit), brought about significant learning disability. Only in reading did I always seem to do quite well. Much later, aged about 20 or so, I started to develop alternative ways to process information. I have met online other autists who have had this experience but not everybody suffers from related learning difficulties or delay. Anyway, linguistics was my first interest and I found self-study was the way to go. I did much better with books and quiet than in classes. Attention deficit issues that involved personal interaction had the opposite effect in context of self-study. Alone I have super concentration and eye for detail continued to develop. The main point is this: I was able to overcome all my learning difficulties and bypass any need for needing personal tuition or being instructed. It's the same way a person with very bad eye-sight will develop stronger hearing or use of touch. Asperger himself noted something he referred to as "compensation by nature". Here then is my problem and it's a major one: To be perfectly honest with you, I found when push comes to shove, nothing has changed. The pattern of "not being good enough" continues in its course. The big differences are mainly that, decades ago, I was also held back by deficits in skills and functionality. Whereas today, functionality and skills are very high but these never developed through involvement of other people or in any social context. I first discovered this when I went to uni the first time, since everyone said I had all this potential and I needed to go there. Despite that, the first year at uni I failed in spectacular fashion. All of a sudden I was back in class, being subjected to a system that had failed in the past. At the time, I hit rock bottom although there was a happy ending as the uni allowed me a second chance (and | relied more on self-study again). To clarify it all, I can state I am very high-functioning today but in an entirely different context. If you were to ask me what my ideal job would be, I would have to say proof-reading or spotting details. To go a step further, in languages I do really well but have no real outlet as a teacher or in EFL. This was disastrous at times, especially company classes. However, I notice that when I watch films in another language, I can spot the slightest errors done by the translators. Maybe I would notice too a word used in Spanish doesn't fit the sense of the original English script and would find a better alternative. This second strength, as you see, doesn't require any group involvement or interaction as you find with teaching. In line with the thread itself, I would say here we have a huge problem because the system simply is not including those with HFA but goes so far as to reject their inclusion and not even try to understand how the autistic mind functions. Staggeringly, even in Nazi Austria, neurologists had actually accepted autists were necessary and valuable in so many cases. The evidence was as carefully documented and researched as the V2 Rocket research that eventually ended up used by the American space program. So, I wonder why after a period of decades, we are being left to struggle either in low pay or zero employment. Personally, I simply have no answers as to what happens next. All I know is I can understand what exactly is going wrong and what needs to be done but without actual support and recognition it is a very hard challenge ahead.
  24. There's no doubt that it can be a great blow to have what seems like a great opportunity, a light at the end of the tunnel, and then have it snatched away. Getting jobs in particular can be so difficult. The job market is very much set-up towards workers who have been in pretty much solid employment for a long time. Employers are reluctant to take on workers who - for whatever reason - have either been out of employment for some time or have had "patchy" employment histories with a few short-term jobs punctuated by periods out of the labour market. As the phrase goes "the best way to get a job is to already have one". Qualifications don't make the difference we might expect. Someone may have lots of qualifications (especially academic ones) but be unattractive to employers because of their employment history. This can push someone towards more routine work which employers find harder to fill. In this case though high qualifications or a past professional background may mean even bigger problems fitting in as the person is from such a different background to their colleagues. This is before even considering the impact of ASD which makes fitting-in even more of a challenge. I'm not quite sure of the answer as I've had similar problems. The ideal would always be to find some kind of self-employment centred around a personal interest or otherwise working in that area but I know it's not easy to make a sustainable living out of such work. You may well have done it before but it's probably best in these circumstances to outline these difficulties to job centres / employment agencies so they can give better advice and maybe help find better opportunities. There's no need to mention autism but highlight the need for the right opportunity rather than any opportunity. Sometimes it's better just to put the cards on the table, be open and say "I need help" rather than keep struggling away in silence. I'm not good at seeking help in that way but sometimes it has to be done as well as highlighting all the skills (such as the practical ones you've been using) as well as academic ones. There will be employers who will do the right thing but they need to be put in the picture about what a job-seeker needs so they can accommodate them better. I hope you find a good employment opportunity David as you clearly have a lot to offer.
  25. Aeolienne

    Access to Cyber Security Day

    This event (on 3 July) may be of interest. It's hosted by IBM at their Client Centre in London - which, incidentally, is not their UK HQ (that's in Portsmouth). A day of workshops and networking focused on ensuring careers in cyber security are made accessible to everyone. The workshops will educate and offer constructive advice and guidance for both employees and employers. The workshops: Exploring the gender gap in cyber security – has anything made a difference yet? Combatting stress and burnout in cyber security .. from surviving to thriving How to tap into the neurodiverse workforce to plug the skills gap Physical disability: addressing the accessibility challenges faced in a technical security career Book on Eventbrite
  26. Dr-David-Banner

    Autistic people never get the slack that other minorities are given

    It has led to a meltdown. I think the reason for that is I had finally received the chance to earn a little money and I thought things were going to improve. Not only that but I worked hard. This then seems like the same old pattern and ended in disappointment. One thing I should explain is that years ago when I used to get rejected in jobs, I was also poorly skilled and not qualified. Now the situation has changed 180 degrees as I'm highly qualified, literate and numerate. Yet it has made no difference and that's hard to digest. The more time I had not employed, the more I absorbed vast amounts of information. I mean it's either that or give in to anxiety - I have found intense interests act as a great diversion from negative thinking. Meantime everybody else works, socialises and "fits in". They are busy experiencing life and sharing it. So now I find this huge gap. Specifically I'm very high functioning but, at the same time, cannot interact collectively in any team situation. The reason for my current meltdown is it seems clear the system has no opening for me anywhere. All I'm left with is a strong sense of self-belief, my principles and pride in being on the autism spectrum. Also I always think my situation is eerily like that of Candice Hilligoss in Carnival Of Souls. The scene where the church pastor dismisses her as church organist (for not fitting or being tuned to the feelings of their congregation). I really now need to think long and hard on what exactly I intend to do to. To date nothing has worked out and I notice the whole economy these days revolves around practical jobs and social hierarchy.
  27. Sanctuary

    Is there an advantage to dating religious women?

    If religion is very important to you ASL it is probably best for you to find a religious partner. Within a religious culture (especially a conservative one) it may also be common for partners to have no prior sexual experience. In more secular cultures It will be unusual for someone in their twenties and thirties to be a virgin but as Peridot mentioned it may not necessarily be seen as a problem and some women may like the "innocence" of a man who is not sexually experienced and feel that such a man is less likely to have a "wandering eye". Ultimately though you need someone who you feel is closest to your wavelength and if certain beliefs (religious, political or other) are very important to you it's best to look for someone who shares them.
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