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  1. Today
  2. collectingrocks

    Bullying in the workplace

    I am too old to jack my job in and there are no jobs in my specialist line of work at my grade - I've checked for a year. 20 years ago I might have done but much of the job market is ageist. In my line of work, employers want young people at basic grade so they can stay on lower wages. There is also too much at stake for me to walk out, including the reputation I have built up over the years. And if I walk out (like others have done), the bully wins and picks his next target No, I've had enough and I now have some courage to speak up and fight back
  3. Dr-David-Banner

    Neuroatypical vs autistic/aspie

    I started to get quite good at analysing subtle expression and interaction. For years I just imagined superficially I appeared like other people but gradually I noticed more. Eyes alone can tell you a lot. Neurotypical people tend to reach out communicatively via expression and their eyes. They smile easily or express emotion. They don't have to think how to react or smile. You can watch someone in a conversation and you can see the "click" of connecting, the tone of voice, body posture, reaction of others. It's really similar to a resonant frequency. The really fascinating thing is noting how the same people react to me in similar conversations. I notice we talk or joke but that "click" just doesn't happen. The easy way to describe what I mean is to imagine 3 adults and one child together. The adults you notice all communicate to the child as "outside". One thing that fascinates me is the women I know will chat with me but their face and mood is kind of guarded or a bit strained. Should another neurotypical appear with a shopping bag, instantly this changes. The person totally relaxes, smiles broadly and suddenly I disappear off their radar. I repeat again: the movie Carnival Of Souls 1960s totally fascinated me mainly due to this. It described being unable to be seen by others for periods or partly seen. To me the connection happens but some deeper communication or recognition is missing. I see it like an invisible wall or like a frequency that is off resonance somehow. These autism/asperger symptoms I have very strong due to non acceptance and trauma during childhood. So, should children be on the autism spectrum yet be treated with intolerance at early age, the effect is you "withdraw" much more. You can become so cut off from reality outside that a whole lot of your psychological development can be "locked down". The only plus I can pull out of the hat is that AS is easier to fathom when the symptoms are stronger and kind of stare you in the face. Yes, neurotypicals act very differently. Many were accepted as normal from early childhood and through school where they often made friends, dated and were admired. All their life they share with others as part of a group yet have less identity left to enhance their own ego. Personally despite many miserable, harrowing experiences wrapped up in autism, I think being HFA can lead to clear advantages over neurotypicals (if you can conquer those feelings of isolation and anxiety). That took me many years and after a prolonged breakdown in the 1980s. Now I see knowledge, awareness and self therapy as the key.
  4. Peridot

    The New Guy

    Well, a declining ability to empathize would be odd to me because I think that if you are autistic this inability would have been a constant. I think the opposite where the empathy increases over time would be more probable in the case of autism. But that's just what I think. I am not an expert. I think a diagnosis might be helpful as it may e.g. show your wife the root cause (in the case you are autistic) which would provide clarity. Anyway, welcome on here and I hope either the problems in your marriage get fixed or, in the case it ends, that you are able to cope emotionally during the divorce and eventually are able to move on.
  5. Dr-David-Banner

    George Harrison Slammed Modern Pop

    Jefferson Airplane - mid sixties. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myVzaR8cmDA "AHHH the ERA.... the memories.... you have not lived if you haven't lived in this era... Care free and tripping on peace :-)....."
  6. Introduction: Hello, I'm Elly and I'm a Psychology student at University of East London. I also have a sibling with autism. I'm looking for participants to take part in an online survey about social media use in adults with autism. About the research: - I'm investigating the relationship between social media use and quality of life in adults with autism. - Social media is a widely debated topic but its use among adults with autism is less understood. - I want to find out how adults with autism use social media and whether it has the capacity to impact positively on their lives. - Any adult (autism diagnosis or not) can take part in the study as I require a range of responses. - The study is an online questionnaire which is completely anonymous. The questionnaire should take about 15 minutes to complete (please see link below). - The questionnaire has fixed responses so if you have any other additional comments about the topic then I would love to hear them below. - The research has been ethically approved by the supervisory board at UEL. Contact details: If you have any questions or would like more information, don't hesitate to comment below or get in touch at u1725912@uel.ac.uk Survey Link: https://uelpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_eYcaO2gqaZXmZ3T Many thanks in advance Elly
  7. Aspergolfer

    People Who Have Been Mean to You/Bullied You

    The best way to approach anyone is from a stance of love and peace. Jesus said to love God with all our being and others as ourselves. Bless the person who curses you, be kind to the one who is unkind to you and always forgive when you are wronged.
  8. Yesterday
  9. Dr-David-Banner

    Releasing My Track

    Maybe it's different in other geographical region but where I am the focus of life is work and relationships. One or two people I know like to take regular holidays abroad. Somehow though it seems to me something has gone wrong. I recall John Lennon opened up later in life how his school never directed him towards arts. He was pushed into the concept of having to be a plumber or gas-fitter or painter. This is how it is where I live where men are supposed to carry a drill and spanner and drive a van. Beyond that is nothing any deeper. Not sure if anyone here ever saw the movie Educating Rita. It was about a working class girl who wanted to do drama and English lit at uni. There she meets a lecturer who coaches her through essay writing and tutorials. What happens is a big rift opens up between her and her family and boyfriend. Awareness of art creates friction and end of a relationship. Educating Rita is a movie that suggest life without art is a pretty colourless life at that. Anyway it just seems even more the case society just revolves around work, money, facebook, relationships and generally robotic existence.
  10. Ben

    Bullying in the workplace

    Always have an up to date CV - because you never know when you might want to upload it onto Indeed or Jobsite . You will strip the bully of their power as soon as you let go of the concept that your CURRENT job is the be all end all to your existence. My advice? Go above and beyond within your role. Then the SECOND your 'superior' steps out of line, you say "HR can keep this months pay for all I care. If you condescend to me one more time I'm walking off the job" - this'll be sweeter if other potential employers have seen your CV online and are leaving you voicemails (yes, these job sites DO work.) Always have the deck stacked in your favour. Not just for situations like these, but also for when companies announce cut backs. Don't wait to be laid off, think ahead. *Side note, I'm not saying jack your job in. Just give yourself some power by creating the option.
  11. This is something very personal and it is very sad to lose someone whom you thought was a friend and could confide and trust in Perhaps you friend felt "scared off" and doesn't know how to communicate with you any more...or trying to process what you said? Give it time and if nothing changes then yes, move on. That friend was merely superficial and not worthy of your friendship any more
  12. collectingrocks

    Bullying in the workplace

    A question for the workers amongst us... If you are bullied or intimidated at work by your immediate supervisor/manager: How do you cope? Does your place of work have support systems in place to tackle such behaviour? Have you ever stood up to your perpetrator?
  13. collectingrocks

    Can an aspie succeed in the medical field?

    Don't let the medical field hold you back. I have worked in hospitals for over 25 years
  14. Joie6

    Last One To Post Here Wins!

    Can I say I win ? YES !!!!
  15. Hi @Aspie.Iris I experienced a quite similar situation, when I was a teenager. My "best friend" knew my Asperger's from the beginning of our friendship, but one day, in an argument, he said to me that he didn't invited me to a party because he could feel ashamed of me, and that my autism is really a big problem... So I can completely understand your pain. What did I do afterwards ? I just stopped talking to him. Fortunately, we weren't in the same highschool. I agree with @Peridot. Move on ! I know it's hard to think it when you're surrounded by people who don't accept your difference and when you're all alone but you will see, when you will grow up, you will find people who truly accept who you are, with your Asperger's. To tell you, I've really found true friends after highschool. So be brave ! Time will be your friend. I hope you will feel better soon
  16. Last week
  17. Dr-David-Banner

    George Harrison Slammed Modern Pop

    I downloaded a bit of Jefferson Airplane who got really big in San Francisco. Playing live on TV shows they seemed pretty impressive and psychedelic. Grace Slick led as vocalist and has a gritty and individual voice. She's now seventy something.
  18. Dr-David-Banner

    Releasing My Track

    Had a look at the vid. Actually you will notice heavy metal is still going. I don't mind heavy metal although it tends to lack melody and deeper lyrics. If I did metal I could get some feedback but the problem I will explain: Leaving aside my own sound, music I listen to for enjoyment is way way different to what 99.9 per cent of other people download. For example, Jefferson Airplane (a huge band back in 1969).I make a point of allowing such bands to hopefully influence my sound. The audience though has long vanished. Todays audience seek mostly simplicity. According to some studies, music has gotten simpler. Music today is something I like to do all by myself as it relaxes me. Money wise or even with regard to feedback it is a total waste of my time. The only interest would be from much older musicians who know what a riff or arpeggio or hook is. One thing I notice too is that Paul's son James Mccartney seems to have stopped touring and doing albums. I get him totally. He got fed up being ignored and just having the media ask about The Beatles. No fair or even interested feedback from enough journalists.
  19. When a friendship ends it's of course painful when it's a betrayal. I've had this too a few years ago where two friendships went sour. But we need to be with the people we are supposed to be with and not the people we aren't supposed to be with. That's the way it is, I'm sure you'll agree. I'd say leave school altogether as it's a toxic environment. But if you continue to go, then just treat the girl in neutral way. Just move on... It isn't worth putting lots of energy into as it wouldn't be productive. Hope you feel better soon.
  20. Hi Guys, so as you can tell from the title, my good friend from the past about one and a half years stopped hanging out with me and started hanging out with another girl after I trusted her with my diagnosis. I think this is because of my diagnosis but I am not really a person to trust with social skills anyway, what should I do? I am in a small school where I can’t really avoid her- How should I handle this? Please help!
  21. chaz82801

    The New Guy

    I should probably start by saying that I have not been diagnosed on any spectrum. I was diagnosed with depression a decade ago, but it was not until I noticed a declining ability to empathize with my wife (7 yrs now) that I wondered if I may be on the spectrum. A few online tests and reading David Finch shows I have "a whole lot of Asperger's". I've read that a diagnosis can really help couples understand each other and grow. I believe my wife would be supportive if I was diagnosed, but I have also seen sites like https://www.theneurotypical.com that are filled with Asperger's divorce stories, and it scares the hell out of me. I'm also worried how it could change my career and family. I guess as a informed group, is a diagnosis worth it? I apologize if I come off ignorant in any way.
  22. Whoknows

    Do you have a supportive family?

    Let me see... I was diagnosed quite early in my life, but my parents kept it secret from me, until high school. I think, in both time periods, they did what they thought was best for me. On my side, I'm not sure all of their choices were good. If it's food and shelter, everything's covered (even my gaming habits). On education, I don't really know what to make of it. The best choice I've ever made there was hated by my entire family, but I kept going anyway (and it helped me a lot). On psychology, there's only one thing I have against my parents, but it's been almost 9 years, since then. Well, put simply, my family is not fully aware of my diagnosis, but they've been quite supportive, anyway.
  23. Whoknows

    Hi there!

    Hi there. Truly, I'm not really active here, but it's always good to see a new face.
  24. Whoknows

    Happy birthday to Willow

    Happy Birthday to you, Willow, thought I'm late.
  25. Aspie.Iris

    Acting Neurotypical

    I definitely act neurotypical at school all day and then end up coming home and melting down. It is really rough for my family and I am not getting the support I need at school because no one believes I have ASD.
  26. Aspie.Iris

    Feeling Alone

    I feel exactly the Same way.
  27. Peridot

    Hi there!

    Welcome, Iris.
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