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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 08/21/2018 in all areas

  1. 4 points
    How much of a barrier is your autism to achieving your goals in life? I'm not asking whether autism is a disability in a broader sense, I'm wondering whether you currently consider yourself disabled by your condition. Has your view of this changed over the course of your life?
  2. 2 points
    Supporting young people with autism to gain Civil Service experience Posted by: Civil Service Blog Team, Posted on: 29 March 2018 - Categories: A great place to work, Diversity and inclusion To mark World Autism Awareness Week we asked Amy, Jonathan and Damon to tell us about their work experience placements in the Civil Service. The Civil Service Autism Exchange Programme, in partnership with charity Ambitious About Autism, started in 2015 to offer paid quality work experience to young people like Amy, Jonathan and Damon with autism, and autism awareness training for employers. The programme offers those taking part the chance to learn new work skills while providing career development and networking advice. In exchange, participants teach managers and government departments about autism awareness. Read more
  3. 2 points
    I'm still not sure if I'm autistic or not. Once there was a psychological assessment I had to go through which was welfare related and they said that for now their diagnosis was autism and I said "what about me makes you think I'm possibly autistic?" and their answer was "everything". So according to them and a few other people I spoke to in the past I'm autistic but me, I'm still not sure. I have no problem interpreting non verbal communication. I can read facial expressions. I don't get meltdowns. I don't really have much difficulty adapting to unexpected situations/changes. In the past though I did have a lot of trouble socially but that has changed over time and I don't have any anxieties when it comes to that anymore. Certain situations still scare me but that's normal. I mean the company of loud, drunken, unhappy people would scare any normal person! When in the past I had trouble socially it was a huge problem and caused a lot of hesitation when it came to achieving my goals/going out and doing what I wanted to do. Huge barrier. Getting over that was essential in my case.
  4. 2 points
    I have never considered my autism to be a barrier to my goals. I also don't think of myself as disabled, if I were to think of myself as disabled it would be other conditions I have that would make me feel that way, my depression is pretty debilitating at times, I also have some physical issues (back and knee problems) that have an impact on what I can and can't do. My AS and ADHD are just a part of who I am, I think of them more as aspects of my personality, I don't know who I would be if you took them away and while I was diagnosed with both later in life I definitely knew I was on the spectrum from my early teens and these are things that I was born with, they are just a part of me. In some ways I even think of them as positives, I'm not saying there aren't clear downsides to the conditions but I've learned to overcome most of the big ones and I also have an edge over others in some ways, I can often see the big picture, I have a lateral viewpoint, I'm good at problem solving, I am always logical, I can often make the right choices when others struggle. I'm good at multitasking and/or hyperfocusing when I need to. Overall it is my depression that has had a negative impact on my life, it's the reason I am not working at the moment, I lack motivation, I avoid things and I have no energy. Even with that I don't really think of myself as disabled but if I did it would be that condition that holds me back. I know not everyone would agree with my opinion on this topic but that is how I feel. Excellent question
  5. 2 points
  6. 2 points
    Have a great day everybody 😊
  7. 2 points
    There's a lot of differing opinions here, but just one thing I'd like to touch on (hopefully without coming across as judgemental in any way). It's possible that you will eventually need to end things with this person, but I think mostly because if this issue bothers you so much, it speaks to a very deep insecurity. I couldn't fathom what in your past has led you to have fears of abandonment or betrayal, and it's none of my business, but seeing as how I have struggled with similar issues, I do recognize them. Whether or not it is "strange" for a woman to keep her married name is, quite obviously, a matter of opinion (and greatly depends on the situation)The one that counts here is yours. And it bothers you, but as I said, I think this speaks more to your own insecurities more than the name thing. My mother had a bad divorce and never changed her name back. It had nothing to do with anything emotional, it was purely practical. As she has told you this, it communicates that you do not trust her, and feel like so long as she 'belongs' to another in some fashion, she can never 'belong' to you. But names have nothing to do with whom is supportive and loving to whom. It is an issue concerning the government, and a formality. And I can tell you another thing: while there are RARE exceptions to a rule, people who get divorced REALLY don't want to be together, anymore. It's not the same as a breakup. Those people jumped through major hoops to separate. If you have not been divorced, rethink assuming anything about such a situation. If divorce is not enough for you, I would suggest being with someone who has either never been married or I suppose has changed their name after divorce. But I really do want to suggest doing some private, personal exploration of why something like this bothers you so much. One thing I notice is that your meltdown seemed to stem from hearing the opinions of others. Which tells me what other people think means a great deal to you, and more than likely you look to others to know what is normal and what is not (Aspie!) Other people should not dictate your life decisions, it's easy to give a flighty opinion about someone's life and then reorient yourself back into your own life with no consequences. Nobody, including me, has to live with the decisions YOU make, so be sure you know what YOU are feeling, not what you think you're supposed to feel due to social pressure. Believe me, I know this trigger well. I realize some people have the opinion that it is absurd for someone to not want to immediately change their name, and that's fine, no judgement. However, I just want to speak for a moment from this perspective: When you are afraid your are not enough, or that something doesn't feel right in a relationship, you will necessarily find something like this to home in on. However, if you are in a relationship you feel secure in, nothing bothers you. Nothing. My husband checks out chicks all the time, and I'm not remotely threatened. If you are feeling threatened, it means one of two things: she has feelings for someone other than you, or you have decided she must be, because something's always wrong...right? You can't change other people, and the only way to control them is to also destroy any honest bond you might have. So consider what you can do with yourself. Because you can ABSOLUTELY change yourself. Just something to think about. Good luck to you!
  8. 2 points
    I have been investigating clairolfaction a little and also came across a native American Indian by the name of Deepak Chopra. As it happens I encountered many people who experienced clairolfaction. Someone suggested Deepak Chopra to me. Clairolfaction is a psychic experience whereby you smell odours others don't detect. Flowers is a common odour or tobacco. I haven't had this experience for many years but it has recently returned. On information sites people stated they had experiences of it during sad periods of their life. Recently I've been smelling flowers in my room although there are no plants. As well as other strong odours. When I was about 8 it used to be tobacco yet nobody in the room was smoking or could detect what I was scenting. Given I found other people who relate to what I experience then clearly it's a known phenomenon. Many believe dogs and cats already have this sense and have detected cancers in human beings. The people who had these experiences on the odd forum I visited were very warm and interesting people. Very open minded too. Some of them said they had this experience but had no idea what lay behind it.
  9. 1 point
    Although I've had issues with anxiety all my adult life I only recently consulted a doctor about it. This was triggered by being very stressed about problems at work but the problems run much deeper and relate to other things. Although I have tried to cope with anxiety I suppose I have become "tired of being troubled". I found the doctor pretty unsupportive. I mentioned my problems, mostly involve constant worrying and "flashbacks" (if that isn't too strong a word) to incidents. However he seemed much more interested in physical or behavioural symptoms, e.g. panic attacks, being visibly distressed, insomnia, feeling unable to leave the house. Anxiety doesn't affect me in these sorts of ways - the problems are almost entirely mental. I have had for many years a "tension" in my stomach which might be related to stress but I forgot to mention this; in any event it may have nothing to do with anxiety and doesn't seem to change much when I am especially anxious. Overall he seemed reluctant to diagnose anxiety without physical symptoms. Another issue he raised was whether my work problems were essentially connected to my current job or more broadly related to employment. I did say that I have had problems with past jobs but that I could be successful in the right kind of job. Again he seemed to be reluctant to diagnose anxiety unless my problems related to almost any type of work - I couldn't say is the case although for me most employment is stressful. I could see some point in his argument - in some cases anxiety only relates to us being pushed beyond our current abilities and it is the job or the situation that is the problem rather than our psychological state. If we find activities or situations more suited to us or if adjustments are made we can manage. By contrast there are some people who find even the most apparently mundane and straightforward activities difficult. He felt this was really a matter for me to resolve with work managers rather than a medical issue and while there is some truth in that it can create problems if managers are unwilling or unable to make changes. Overall I had the impression he wanted to get the consultation over as quickly as possible. I didn't get the chance to outline the broader problems I have with constant worry, OCD and irrational, bizarre fears. For example even writing this message I have a fear at the back of my mind - although I know it's irrational - that the doctor will somehow come across this message even though it has no identifying information and that will lead to some unspecified negative consequence. A nonsensical fear but one which can inhibit what I do. Even if I'd mentioned these wider fears I suspect he would have been uninterested. Perhaps the problem is that GPs on a tight appointment schedule simply don't have the time to properly explore psychological conditions but it may also be that some are either unaware of how they really affect someone's life or are actively unsympathetic in their attitudes. Rounding things off is the doctor right that clinical anxiety has to have some physical symptoms - worry (no matter how persistent or distressing) is not enough? Does it have to be broader than relating to one job or activity we do?
  10. 1 point
    While PTSD is often caused by life and death situations, that is not always the case, really it is caused by your reaction to a scenario, not the scenario itself, so you can have PTSD in a situation that was traumatic for you but wasn't life and death, just like some people don't get PTSD when they are in traumatic life and death situations. One of the treatments for PTSD is to allow the flashbacks to come, not in a place where you are out of your comfort zone, but deliberately triggering them in therapy or at home so that you can go through the flashback and just it flow the more this happens in a safe and controlled way the less power it has. I am not suggesting you try doing this on your own at home but it might be worth looking into it and trying to get some therapy. Avoidance is not a good coping mechanism it can lead to phobia's. I have some good course work and exercises (called StressPack) on managing stress, which explains this quite well if you're interested? You might also benefit from the course I am on at the moment called ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) which is designed for people who are struggling with stress and anxiety (and PTSD), things like unwanted negative thoughts, I will be scanning in the notes etc when I finish the course next week if you would also like a copy of those?
  11. 1 point
    Is this a GP or a psychologist? If a GP request a referral to Psychology for formal diagnosis, GP's are like a jack of all trades but masters of none, this isn't meant to be insulting but they have to have just enough knowledge about everything to get you treated or direct you to where you need to go. One of my biggest mistakes was allowing my GP to treat all my mental health conditions for over a decade. Once I finally demanded a psychology appointment I was diagnosed correctly, properly and treatment was changed, what's more treatment was not just pills it was CBT/ACT and other therapies (as well as pills). I am not saying the doctor is wrong, so far as I know anxiety does usually result in physical effects like butterflies, diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting, headaches etc (not all of them of course but some). Flashbacks actually makes me think PTSD, which sounds a lot more like what your talking about, do you want to avoid things cause you fear they will trigger a reaction in you? Will that reaction be mostly mental and involve you reliving a memory or emotions linked to a traumatic event or memory you have? What I would suggest you do is look into PTSD and see if it fits but also (and more importantly) request a referral to your local Psychology team for assessment, while you wait for that appointment write down what happens to you, what might trigger it, how you deal with that, what sort of things you dread or avoid, what things help, what is your safe zone, are there things you have done that you thought you couldn't but once you were there, what you feared never came to pass, did that change the way you felt about doing that activity again even if it was somewhere else, most important... be honest. The only person who needs to see this is you and your doctor, your doctor needs to know the truth in order to correctly diagnose and treat you. Once you get the appointment give them this report and let them read it then answer any questions they have, try to trust them to know their area of expertise, I know it can be hard to do that if you've had bad experiences in the past or been fobbed off, you can do some research into other mental health conditions to familiarise yourself with what you think you do or don't have but also remember you aren't a doctor and you don't necessarily know what all those terms mean or how much they have to have an impact before it is necessary to diagnose, sometimes it can be harmful to pigeonhole someone with a condition if they are coping ok without a diagnosis. EDIT: Hit Post but accident...
  12. 1 point
    Good question. I saw it before but didn't have time to answer it. I decided to try answering it now. I don't like to see autism as disability, although sometimes the anxiety I experience can be disabilitating and cause me to miss out on opportunities. Sometimes I can push through and that is a good feeling but other times I don't. To people I don't know well, I am afraid to mention autism in case people prejudge me based on that. If I say anything, I say I get anxiety because I feel most people can understand anxiety to a some degree at least. When I was first diagnosed at 16, I didn't know if I really had it or not as a lot of the info on the web was more male orientated and I didn't always identify as strongly. I have a better understanding now.
  13. 1 point
    @Willow I requested to join the Animal Club run by @Primeape and was denied at the time but I was wondering if you could reset the request or add me to that club as I asked Debz if I could join a while ago and if I'm remembering correctly she said yes.
  14. 1 point
    I would like to add the U.S. Crisis Text line: Text HOME to 741741. It's a text based resource and 24/7. I think for Canada it's text HOME to 686868. It's also 24/7.
  15. 1 point
    I just found out about this fairly recent book by Dr. Tony Attwood about how Aspies experience depression. http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/books-by-tony-m/english-books/1407-exploring-depression-and-beating-the-blues https://www.amazon.co.uk/Exploring-Depression-Beating-Blues-Attwood/dp/1849055025 I haven't bought it yet, but it sounds like something that could be particularly helpful for me.
  16. 1 point
    This is the third time I am attempting to get a diagnosis on paper, and I am about to give up again. The reasons why I find it so hard are as follows: 1.It is incredibly confusing who will just treat it and who is actually qualified to make a diagnosis. Usually I find out after the call back, which is many weeks after I attempted to make contact. 2. Office hours are very limited and usually I don't get anyone on the phone when I call. 3. Having to call people is something I am highly uncomfortable with, even more so than speaking to someone in person or over email. Especially when they get snappy I tend to get intimidated and avoid the phone for days. 4. Leaving phone messages is even worse. And getting called back too, because it can happen at any moment and there is no time to mentally prepare. 5. When I did receive call backs it was usually in an inappropriate public location, like in the cafeteria at university or on the bus, and because it took them weeks to call back, i dont want to refer the phonecall, so i ended up answering very private questions in a public place. 6. Most don't diagnose adults. 7. Some want a referral from a GP or psychiatrist prior to making a diagnosis. 8. Waiting lists are anything from 3 months to 1 1/2 years. 9. Some want to set up multiple intake interviews, and sessions, each of which I would have to be waitlisted for again, and also drive many hours for. 10. And after all that, I hear from many people that they weren't even taken seriously by psychiatrists and told they were imagining things and jumping on a trend wave. It is incredibly discouraging. Nobody would invest so much time and effort just to get a trend diagnosis. People want the diagnosis so that they can receive help from a specialist, aid at work or school and government programs, or learn to become happier and more capable with the mind that they are given. Even if its not aspergers, it might be something else, and the person still needs help! The whole process is so overwhelming and stressful that I feel I would need a social worker just to help set it up. But of course I cant ask for help since I don't have a diagnosis. I couldn't get it as a child because my parents never gave a s**t and now I am a young adult, struggling with getting my life on track, and I can't even seek support from disability groups. Right now, I am looking to get it done in another country to speed up the process. Has anyone else experienced the frustration? How did you deal with it? And as a follow up question: What European country makes it the least complicated and straight forward, in one session? From my personal experience, both Germany and the Netherlands suck. I am considering flying to England. They appear to have a lot of support for people with autism spectrum disorders and learning difficulties.
  17. 1 point
    I collect a lot of books, DVD's and stuff like this, but my collection is spiralling out of control. Any advice on what I can do to make the best of the space? I've looked at those DVD storage binders: And they seem to save on a lot of space (especially when you have over 1 thousand DVD's), but throwing away the cases is something which is going to be very difficult for a hoarder after spending years acquiring them ! though I'd rather do this than throw them away completely like my family suggested I do (give them to a charity shop they said..) I told them to F off and stay out of my business, they have no idea how someone with Aspergers values collecting things, and when you are lonely/depressed it is one of the positive things to keep us going.. just because they have a busy social life lots of friends, partners, jobs etc it might not be a big deal for them, so they think why would it be a big deal for us!? it's wrong.. I mean some people even without Aspergers collect things like coins FFS ! I've told my family they should be glad I don't do drugs, drink alcohol, gamble etc (like a lot of young people do and I could do to get rid of the depression/anxiety pain) atleast I'm sensible and spending my money on collecting things which will last (when I die I'll pass them on to people as the types of movies/TV shows define me). Any other suggestions? thanks
  18. 1 point
    She's not your friend. Sorry to be so blunt, but it really is that simple. No one who truly cared about you could show such little empathy and understanding towards you in a moment of difficulty, especially after having been made aware of your condition. Whether you're content to settle for such company or you're worth more than that is your determination to make.
  19. 1 point
    So, there are two replies here, both from people also on the spectrum who say there is nothing wrong with it. But if you were the only aspie at that party, maybe you need the perspective of someone not on the spectrum but still very precise. What might @spiderwoman0_2 think? Apparently she's one of the few here not on the spectrum. She may have even lived through much of the time before the internet, when it was less common to hear about a non-celebrity one hadn't met in person, and even less common to interact with a non-celebrity without knowing them personally.
  20. 1 point
    No, there was nothing wrong with what you did, and I don't see how getting up and moving to the other end of the table is going to ruin her party. This is something that I have done countless times... in fact, just about every time I go out with people, I end up moving due to my various sensory issues. People who know me, know that I do this, don't have a problem and don't question it.
  21. 1 point
    I'm sorry to hear this rainbow. A lot of us have this problem with noise at parties and as you explained why you were moving places there shouldn't have been a problem. Was it your friend who later rang you? If so I would expect them to have a more supportive approach as they know your situation.
  22. 1 point
    It can be incredibly frustrating and some people have to wait years before they get a diagnosis. Don't give up on it and keep pushing them, often they need to be under pressure before they take action. I can't speak for the Netherlands, but in the UK it is possible to get a private diagnosis without a referral, though I'm not sure whether such a diagnosis would be valid in the Netherlands. Getting a diagnosis on the NHS can be a very long and difficult process.
  23. 1 point
    Sorry - I just watched your vid. It's mostly DVDs I see. I guess the same online storage could apply though? Or hard drive?
  24. 1 point
    Keep the cases for sure.. once they're all separated it's a downwards spiral IMO. Ive started collecting all my music online now.. I know it's not cool but solves storage problems and you can get whatever you want with ease. Sunglasses collection is another matter though ?
  25. 0 points
    i went to my friends 23rd birthday dinner, there was 4 of us there. while I was at the dinner, there was a lot of talking going on back and forth across the table and I find it hard to keep up. And there was loud music going off as well. I was feeling a bit down and angry inside. so I got up and said I am moving to the other end of the table to due to the noise and how it was making me feel. I was ok after that. Then later on in the day I got a phone call saying that was wrong of me to walk up and move, and also she told not to talk about my Asperger's. it as made me feel like I am a bad person and saying that I ruined my friends birthday which I did not.

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