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  1. Peridot

    Peridot

    Asperclicker


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  2. collectingrocks

    collectingrocks

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      6

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      887


  3. Aeolienne

    Aeolienne

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      5

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      340


  4. Aspie.Iris

    Aspie.Iris

    Finding My Feet


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      4

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      5



Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/24/2019 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    This is something very personal and it is very sad to lose someone whom you thought was a friend and could confide and trust in Perhaps you friend felt "scared off" and doesn't know how to communicate with you any more...or trying to process what you said? Give it time and if nothing changes then yes, move on. That friend was merely superficial and not worthy of your friendship any more
  2. 3 points
    Hi. Canada seems pretty cool. Welcome to the site... It's not necessarily the most active place nowadays. Though sometimes there are "bursts" of activity. Some cool people here though.
  3. 3 points
    Sorry to hijack but this isn't just a female thing I don't do fake, superficial, deceit or play pretend games to manipulate or control people. I don't do office politics and don't play the social game. I also don't like people who play power games or do "one-upping", backstabbing, eager to "get one over" somebody else. I prefer honest, straightforward people with integrity and honesty
  4. 2 points
    When a friendship ends it's of course painful when it's a betrayal. I've had this too a few years ago where two friendships went sour. But we need to be with the people we are supposed to be with and not the people we aren't supposed to be with. That's the way it is, I'm sure you'll agree. I'd say leave school altogether as it's a toxic environment. But if you continue to go, then just treat the girl in neutral way. Just move on... It isn't worth putting lots of energy into as it wouldn't be productive. Hope you feel better soon.
  5. 2 points
    Hi! i'm Isadoorian. I discovered this site some time ago but forgot about it after trying to sign up and having to endure the long wait, then I remembered it about 10 minutes ago as of writing this and here I am. i'm 23 years old and hail from British Columbia, Canada and am Self diagnosed with a PDD-NOS. I like Reading, Cooking, Baking, Video/Tabletop/Card games, Listening to Music and watching TV/Netflix. I hope everyone here's as friendly and welcoming (and active) like a similar forum i enjoy using daily.
  6. 2 points
    As a teen on the spectrum I need help and support, one of the reasons why I’m here, but I can’t seem to find any help in person
  7. 2 points
    Hi @Isadoorian and welcome to the forum
  8. 2 points
    Welcome I like reading, cooking, baking also. Theres a post listing Aspie fiction if you are interested and read fiction
  9. 2 points
    Welcome.
  10. 2 points
    (Not written by me) ‘Nature became a support system’: How autism helped me campaign for wildlife A 15-year-old conservationist and activist from Northern Ireland writes about how it’s easier for him to connect with the natural world than other aspects of life By Dara McAnulty As a toddler, I crawled to observe, and sometimes catch, anything that moved: caterpillars, woodlice, ants. I intently observed birds, their behaviour and watched in wonder at their intricacy and how they interacted with everything around them. At this stage, I was unaware of my difference but as I grew, I knew the world was too noisy, too busy, too confusing and too overwhelming. I was diagnosed with Asperger's / autism aged five, at the insistence of my school – my parents had accepted and nurtured my eccentricities and even though I knew that I made life challenging for them. They always showed unconditional love and acceptance. Nature brought so much understanding to my life. It satiated my curiosity and then quenched my thirst for knowledge. My capacity to feel at one with the confusing aspects of our world grew when I was immersed in nature and learning all about it. My differently wired brain was at peace. By age seven I knew I was very different, I had gotten used to the isolation, my inability to break through into the world of talking about football or Minecraft was not tolerated. Then came the bullying. Nature became so much more than an escape; it became a life-support system – although I didn’t realise it then. By age 12, my mental health was in tatters, years of bullying and isolation had taken its toll. I decided that I would write, unlock all the feelings that were swirling in my head, I needed to express what I couldn’t in real time through conversation. I started writing a blog about nature, autism, species I was interested in, the habitats they lived in and the challenges they faced. It quickly gained popularity beyond my wildest dreams. I joined Twitter and three years later, my life is irrevocably changed. I was invited on to Springwatch, asked to write articles for the Wildlife Trusts and my local newspapers. The BBC wanted to film me, record me for radio – all of this was completely unnerving and at times overwhelming – but I pushed through because even though it was all so new, I was doing what I loved. I was being myself. During this time, realising the extent that nature was suffering, I quite accidentally became an activist. I started campaigning firstly against the illegal persecution of hen harriers – a protected raptor, endangered and increasingly rare. It hurt me so deeply, that the words on the page needed to be spoken out loud. I stood up and spoke that first time, aged 13, and all of a sudden I felt a great strength burn inside me. I realised I had potential to do good, to give back to nature – which has given me so much joy, wonder and healing. One of the qualities of being autistic is our determination and focus. Many people call our interests ‘obsessions’, I call them passions. My passion is the natural world, our planet, all life we share it with and the challenges it faces. I will never give up. Wherever my passion is willing to take me I am ready for it, it’s who I am. Read more from Dara at youngfermanaghnaturalist.com and follow on Twitter @NaturalistDara Source: The Big Issue
  11. 2 points
    What are you looking forward during the summer im looking forward to going golfing and going paddel boarding on the open water and also a family BBQ with my girlfriend and my birthday And also seeing some summer blockbusters movies at the movie theatre
  12. 2 points
    My cat got a new bed today and she seems to like it.
  13. 1 point
    Hi Guys, so as you can tell from the title, my good friend from the past about one and a half years stopped hanging out with me and started hanging out with another girl after I trusted her with my diagnosis. I think this is because of my diagnosis but I am not really a person to trust with social skills anyway, what should I do? I am in a small school where I can’t really avoid her- How should I handle this? Please help!
  14. 1 point
    Hi @Aspie.Iris I experienced a quite similar situation, when I was a teenager. My "best friend" knew my Asperger's from the beginning of our friendship, but one day, in an argument, he said to me that he didn't invited me to a party because he could feel ashamed of me, and that my autism is really a big problem... So I can completely understand your pain. What did I do afterwards ? I just stopped talking to him. Fortunately, we weren't in the same highschool. I agree with @Peridot. Move on ! I know it's hard to think it when you're surrounded by people who don't accept your difference and when you're all alone but you will see, when you will grow up, you will find people who truly accept who you are, with your Asperger's. To tell you, I've really found true friends after highschool. So be brave ! Time will be your friend. I hope you will feel better soon
  15. 1 point
    have a awesome birthday Willow and thanks for everything that you do for us on the forum cheers
  16. 1 point
    I was watching this video on YouTube, where this girl with AS talks about how she acts Neurotypical to try and fit into society, and how much of a struggle it is trying to fit in with Neurotypical people and how tiring it is trying to act like someone else. It got me thinking, everyday of my life, I have to act 'Neurotypical' but ultimately fail at doing so, trying to understand jokes - sometimes pretending I do, trying to stay chatty and talk about uninteresting things, even trying to smile for extended periods of time sometimes, does anyone else try to act Neurotypical?
  17. 1 point
  18. 1 point
    Hi, I am Iris. I just recently got my diagnosis and am looking for online support since I live in a rural area with limited support. I enjoy Art, Theater, Music, Fishing, Hunting, Trapping, and Animals (chickens)
  19. 1 point
    Hi @Alice Thank you for this article. It's interesting. As for me, I always had troubles to make friends. When I was a child, I used to begin my school year with one or two mates (girls) and to finish the year alone. Now, I've got a few friends with whom I feel good. I fear to give my trust to bad people, what I used to do when I was younger. That's why I've become more selective. The most frustating experiences are when I want to be friend with a girl but I don't know how to do and finally, I don't have any occasions to do it anymore. Otherwise, I find that it's easier to be friend with boys than girls.
  20. 1 point
    I will touch on this point of talent shows you raised Ben. I read not long ago children are scared to sing in public for fear of being ridiculed and humiliated. This is due to shows like X Factor. Kids associate the effort of trying to sing with possible humiliation and so-called experts on X Factor pulling faces. Little wonder! The process of learning to play guitar or do vocals means we "all" will sound like hell sometimes. Dwelling on it will clearly scare kids away from enjoying music and giving time to time. Speaking from experience I have sung tracks I wrote, recorded it and sounded awful (many times). Through further experience I learned to change key altogether or try a whole new approach. I researched the subject and found a helpful and positive musician on YouTube who explains we can all sing. If you can talk, you can sing. People have been singing for centuries, at schools, funerals and in the bath. So really, X Factor is on a negative agenda because, in truth, lots of successful rock and pop singers would sound pretty basic if you take away the backing music. John Lennon once stated George Harrison was a poor vocalist for some time and worked hard to improve. Pop singers were never expected to be either virtuosos or on a par with Pavorotti. Many times I noticed singers who left something to be desired just "go for it" on Top Of The Pops and nobody cared less - just danced. I would never pull faces or make fun out of someone singing or playing. I would suggest ways to bring out their range and key. I also prefer to hear an authentic voice than autotune which I see as an easy option. On sixties music - agreed. Check out The Californians, Fire and The Flowerpot Men. Great vocals and great sound.
  21. 1 point
    The argument above doesn't explain why people like myself (or George Harrison) may like pop and rock or blues we didn't grow up with. I never grew up with jazz or drive-in sci-fi movies but like both regardless. Let's just look at the music itself on its own merit. Also I think what helps is to bear in mind that too much software and processing or digital enhancement can have a totally opposite effect. It can kill authenticity and inventiveness. Being naturally lazy, we don't learn to play chords when we have arpeggiators. Why struggle to play fast guitar if you can press an auto-rhythm? Why bother to sing when autotune will do it for you? What you find is all these easy options show. The result is fake music that's no substitute for real instrumentation and actual talent. Fireclown above I saw perform at 6 feet distance in small pubs of my area. The lead vocalist wrote the songs, sang live and did the lead guitar. No autotune or mixing or software. They never made it big but lived around small gigs. As you see they did get vinyl publication which meant a proper analogue studio. Check out the lead guitar. Even George Harrison would have been impressed. I am surprised though. Digital allows us to make and publish music. This is a great opportunity. Despite that real music must start with real keyboard, guitar, bass, organ and real vocals. Synths can add to the product but shouldn't be a crutch. I cringe when super rich stars like Madonna put their kids in a high tech digital studio to do music when they never learn 12 bar blues on a basic guitar!
  22. 1 point
    What do you think of Greta Thunberg?
  23. 1 point
    That's cool that you are online acquaintances/buddies. I like her accent. How the word but is pronounced "boh" lol. There's someone else called Delicate ASMR who has the same accent. I don't know much about FrivolousFox but I have heard of her.
  24. 1 point
    I love Miss Synchronicity! She's so cool... I've been binge watching her videos the past couple of weeks or so. But I don't think she's an aspie. She's an introvert but NT it seems to me. Tenderloving I saw in a video where she was drawing and the way she spoke in that video e.g. just screams AS to me. lol It hasn't been stated though. Was just about to watch this Miss Synchronicity video: She's so nice and awesome!
  25. 1 point
    I saw part of it years ago but found it all a bit too loud for me. Think there was a lot of swearing too which would have put me off.
  26. 1 point
    It's all about a aspergers comedy troop there from the USA and there really funny and there a another documentary about there USA comedy tour it's on hbo and hbo Canada
  27. 1 point
    (Not written by me) Understanding the benefits and challenges of neurodiversity in tech Neurodiversity is severely lacking in the tech sector. In light of the skills gap and the moral value of diversity, it's time organisations create more welcoming and productive work environments for neurodivergent employees According to a 2018 report from Tech Nation, 83% of the tech community in the UK believe their biggest challenge is accessing skilled workers. While some employers are quick to argue it’s a simple case of demand outstripping supply, some claim it’s because too many talented people are going unnoticed by recruiters. This realisation has spurred many businesses to become more diverse and inclusive. As such, in recent times, there’s been a lot of discussion around how to effectively attract staff of all ethnicities and genders. However, there’s a growing view emerging that more needs to be done in the area of neurodiversity. Research from the National Autistic Society found that just 16% of autistic adults are in full-time work and of those who weren’t, 77% wanted to be. Autism affects more than one in 100 people, which means over 700,000 people in the UK are autistic. That’s a huge pool of underutilised people that could be contributing to workplaces in many sectors that are currently being overlooked. What is neurodiversity and how can it help tech? Proponents of neurodiversity argue that in the same way we acknowledge a diverse range of sexualities, philosophies and cultures, we should accept a range of different modes of thinking as part of the human condition. At the same time, we should not pathologise those who experience the world in a different way but learn to embrace and include these different perspectives and modes of thought. Speaking with Information Age, Catherine Leggett, an employment consultant with the National Autistic Society, argued the problem is that autistic people tend not to be diagnosed on their strengths; they’re diagnosed on their difficulties. According to her, there is now also a growing body of academic research that suggests neurodiversity has tangible benefits for businesses. While no two people on the autistic spectrum are the same, people with autism often have desirable qualities for employers, particularly in tech, such as having high levels of concentration, strong mathematical abilities and excellent memories. As such, there’s a growing number of big firms who are keen on accessing neurodiverse talent; such as SAP, Hewlett Packard Enterprise (HPE), Microsoft, Willis Towers Watson, Ford, EY and DXC Technology. How enterprises can be neurodiverse One of the most challenging things about becoming neurodiverse is that there is no one size fits all approach to hiring people with autism. As the esteemed professor and autism advocate Dr Stephen Shore put it: “If you’ve met one individual with autism, you’ve met one individual with autism.” However, according to Leggett, it’s essential to recognise that certain recruitment procedures often inadvertently create barriers for autistic people. The good news: there are numerous minor adjustments that businesses can make to their hiring process that will help autistic candidates demonstrate their skills. First of all, Leggett suggested organisations use clear and concise job descriptions when hiring. According to her, job descriptions often include skills that are not essential for the job to be carried out effectively. Qualities such as ‘excellent communication skills’ or ‘good team player’ are often included as default skills, even if they are not necessary – and many autistic people will not apply for jobs demanding these attributes. Organisations should also adapt their candidate selection process. “Many autistic applicants may not have achieved the kind of minimum educational qualifications or standards that are required, and this can be for a number of reasons,” said Leggett. “Perhaps they’ve got a later diagnosis and have been unsupported, or they might have conditions like dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, which all affect academic performance too. So be flexible about your criteria for education and particular skills and experience. “A lot of autistic graduates start their careers much later in life than non-autistic people and may have patches or gaps in their employment records.” Where neurodivergent people struggle is obtaining a job in the first place, added Leggett, since they can fall short on the requirements for strong verbal and nonverbal communication skills typically needed in a traditional job interview. Autistic candidates often struggle to ‘sell themselves’ in an interview, even if they have all the right skills. As such, organisations should offer job trials instead. If you would like to take this approach, NAS’s Employment Training Service can offer support and advice. Maintaining your neurodiverse workforce According to the BIMA Tech Inclusion and Diversity Report, neurodivergent employees are more likely to be impacted by poor mental health, 84% vs 49% for neurotypical workers. This suggests that beyond attracting neurodivergent talent, businesses need to be paying better attention to the quality of their working conditions. “Businesses need to be looking for what could be causing anxiety and working with their employees to put an adjustment in place for them,” said Leggett. “Often with younger people, it’s travel training and things like that. With older people, it could just be overwhelming sensory inputs, and that’s exhausting. “It could also be that they’re working in a highly social workplace; without adjustments in place they’re going to really struggle to meet those kinds of social expectations.” Is tech accepting of neurodiversity? According to Leggett, while a lot of work needs to be done, there is a lot to be optimistic about. She said: “We are now being approached by employers who want to do autistic intern programmes, apprenticeships and work experience. They know that’s where the talent is. “However, while it might be business needs driven at the moment, the actual motivation we would hope would be that it’s a moral and a social one. Everybody needs a chance at work, it’s so important for your identity, your independence, even just to make basic choices in life. “Neurodiversity produces this really positive kind of workplace cultural shift in how people are valued. Your clients and your service users are also neurodiverse so it can only be a good thing really. The more diversity you have, the more creativity and innovation you have, but also you’re demonstrating to your customers that you’re reflecting the world as it is.” Source: Information Age
  28. 1 point
    Interesting. I'll try watching the Aspergers are Us documentary when I get a chance. I haven't seen it and not sure if I will like it but will add it to my list of things to watch when I have a bit more time!
  29. 1 point
    This event (on 3 July) may be of interest. It's hosted by IBM at their Client Centre in London - which, incidentally, is not their UK HQ (that's in Portsmouth). A day of workshops and networking focused on ensuring careers in cyber security are made accessible to everyone. The workshops will educate and offer constructive advice and guidance for both employees and employers. The workshops: Exploring the gender gap in cyber security – has anything made a difference yet? Combatting stress and burnout in cyber security .. from surviving to thriving How to tap into the neurodiverse workforce to plug the skills gap Physical disability: addressing the accessibility challenges faced in a technical security career Book on Eventbrite
  30. 1 point
    Some girls would find it hard, others wouldn't. Some boys would find it hard too, some wouldn't. It's a cultural phenomenon, not a genetic one. If girls are brought up in a culture that is telling them that they can't do things, then they won't try, won't learn and develop that skill. It has nothing to do with innate ability, or lack of it.
  31. 1 point
    That sounds real nice Its autumn here, turning to winter - my favourite season. Im looking forward to cosy nights with a book. My cat sleeping under the covers. Scarves, boots, winter coats. Rain on the roof top. Hot chocolates. The feeling of coming in from the cold and warming with a hot tea or hot shower. Sigh. Im not a fan of summer except for my flower garden and butterflies, and little bits of sun. I dont like being too warm. Its too hard to cool down, I dont like summer clothes, and dont like exercising in the heat or getting too sweaty. You guys enjoy it though !
  32. 1 point
    Sometimes I feel like I am close to people, but then something will happen and I realise that maybe they've just been tolerating certain parts of me and I wonder how close I really am to them. And that can make me feel alone
  33. 1 point
    Yes, and I've always felt that way. I can't connect and tap into a friend group, and I don't fit in. It's like I'm behind a glass wall. People connect by sharing emotions. When they talk, they aren't just communicating in words, but also in emotions, and they use both verbal and non-verbal language to do so. I'm receptive only the the words and get little of this emotional to and fro, so for me, It's just like watching TV.
  34. 1 point
    I don't think there's a real escape from it. It's just the way life is. I think a lot of people are kind of "mindless" and they make a lot of noise and to them life "just makes sense" and everything is to be taken for granted. If you're like that then you're going to be acting a certain way but if you're an actual person with feelings and thoughts and opinions then life tends to be a certain way where you feel and think all sorts of things and it's not necessarily easy. I don't have any "friends" at the moment meaning I have zero companions. I work alone and I live alone but I don't feel isolated. If I were to spend time with people I'm not supposed to be with I would feel lost and alone like in a desert far from home. If I was to spend time with people I am supposed to spend time with I'd be more balanced but that "being alone" would still be there. Life works a certain way and it's just the way it is. Here's a good song... Nevermind the ultra long, 20+ second intro and gaming footage.
  35. 1 point
    I'm not sure what to do, I really need some advice. I've come to care for someone a lot. Someone that always gets me though dark places and has giving me their everything these last few months. Now its not romantic or even a relationship, I think if I really wanted it can be and and a part of my would like to try. But she's not like anyone else and I know in myself I'm not good enough. And I'm fine with that. But she's going away possibly to start her new life and where she's going I'm scared for her, I want everything to workout for her more then anything. But a part of me also feels heartbroken that we won't be there for each other everyday anymore. Is that selfish, because my only goal is for her to find her happiness. How do I accept this chapter of my life with her will end now possibly? When it hurts so much?
  36. 1 point
    Just woke up feeling super lonely.
  37. 1 point
    I can't try to act Neurotypical. I honestly don't know how some people do it. My brain is too overcome by just being... Autistic, I can't pretend. I used to try a bit and tried to copy how other girls stood like and what they said in conversations, but it was still far too hard and I still stood out as being awkward because it wasn't natural. It must be difficult to act like that every day. Also, I don't want to act Neurotypical, I just want to be me even if it is Autistic, but just not in bad ways and causing problem.
  38. 1 point
    I have this feeling that I'll always be lonely, without friends or a partner. I know my social skills have improved, but I still don't know how to make friends. I don't have any friends whatsoever outside of the internet and it's starting to get to me. Normally when I mention these things to people, they just tell me to get over it or tell me to leave the house and meet people. I've tried to get out, but it's hard to find any kind of help or even a place to go to when you always live in small towns.
  39. 1 point
    Same here! No real friends apart from online. I feel lonely most days mainly when I read about people I use to go to school with always doing things with there friends. I to live in a small village and half of it is taken over my older people. You are not alone!
  40. 1 point
    I understand. You sound very similar to me in this way, and I know it can be really upsetting. I don't have any friends at all outside of the internet either - all the friendships I have had outside of the internet have been mainly with neurotypical girls and they have ended badly, due to the way I am and my lack of social skills in a friendship, I guess. They have often said I am domineering and they can't deal with my 'mood swings' as they put it. I felt as if my autism caused the friendships to fail and I have felt anger towards having autism. I know it is extremely difficult to try to get out, to meet people. The thought of that scares me senseless! So, I definitely can't give you a magic solution to this. I don't believe there is one. These things take a lot of time. But, please, don't give up. I know it feels like that and I, too, feel as if I have given up recently too. I lost the last 'real life' friend I had in January and I just felt horrible. I knew she was the last one and I was kind of waiting for her to ditch me and, yes, she did! In no uncertain terms. However, internet friends is no bad thing. For people like us on the spectrum, it is definitely a positive thing, it is so much easier to talk online and communicate things you'd otherwise not be able to say out loud. Internet friends are also not limited to the internet. If you get to know someone well enough, you can meet them in person and it'll probably be easier even then because you know a lot about them. I don't know if you've met friends off the internet before? I have met a few friends I made online, in person and it's definitely easier. Please don't give up. You are in a good place here, on this forum, where I'm sure you will meet like-minded friends. You did the right thing by posting here
  41. 0 points
    It's been a while, but here we go... I've just returned from a school trip where I've got a lot closer to many people on it. Leant more about them, really. Anyway, I didn't even know this, but there's this one person in my class who is Autistic. Let's call him Mike. Anyway, he has a bit of an obsession for My Little Pony (admittedly, I did know this, but would never have made any links like some people do because that would be stupid - you can like My Little Pony if you are NT!). Long story short, people are so supportive of him (they know that he has Autism), which is nice, to be honest. They make him feel no different to anyone else in the class. Now focus on my other friend (although I'm not really friends with Mike, to be honest). Let's call this friend Tom. He is Autistic, and I know this. So does everyone else. Anyway, people bully him really bad. And I've only really noticed this recently. He loves books, but people just mock him about this. He fell down the stairs at school a while back and broke his leg. People just laughed and spread a rumour that he was reading at the time and slipped. Let me tell you, I was there and this was not the case. Anyway, I just find it infuriating that people claim to be supportive of Autism, saying "we support Mike, don't we?" And then go onto bullying Tom. Is this common or has anyone ever experienced anything like this? Tom doesn't really seem to bothered in the slightest about anything anyone says (which is good) but I can't help feeling bad for him.


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