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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/26/2018 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    I'm sorry to hear this rainbow. A lot of us have this problem with noise at parties and as you explained why you were moving places there shouldn't have been a problem. Was it your friend who later rang you? If so I would expect them to have a more supportive approach as they know your situation.
  2. 2 points
    It's a tough subject and I feel that no one really knows what we should be eating. Scientists can't grab a bunch of humans and do whatever they want with them, and that makes the whole process very slow. Ethics, eh? You can find studies that support almost any claim in nutrition, and it's going to take scientists a long time to figure out what's good or bad. Let's say we have some studies that say sausages are bad for us, but it's not conclusive. So the scientists go "Great, let's tell 200 humans to eat sausages everyday and see if it's true... oh wait". You see the problem? xD And then there's studies that you might want to take with a grain of salt... "Cheese lowers your bad cholesterol by 30%, according to study, funded by the WeLoveCheese foundation" It's a mess, really. There's only a few dietary-recommendations that have solid evidence behind them, such as avoiding trans-fats. There's a book called "The Bad Food Bible" by Aaron Carroll (a researcher), and he covers some controversial subjects (butter, MSG, eggs, salt and diet-soda), and gives some solid rules for healthy-eating. He also goes into the problems of studies in nutrition. The general "eat a varied diet" recommendation is kinda like: "we don't really know what you should be eating, so eat different foods and hope for the best". It doesn't sit well with me, but I guess it's not a bad recommendation given the problems in nutrition. You can lose weight on any diet where you consume less calories than you burn, but as for what's "healthy", that's a much more difficult problem. I don't think carbs are a problem; some people do well without them, some people do well on them. It's something you need to experiment with and see how you respond, but that can have problems too (placebo). I would personally stick to whole or minimally processed foods, exercise, and roughly follow the recommended carb/protein/fat/fibre intakes. Cronometer is a useful tool for this, and even shows what micronutrients are covered by the foods you eat. It's a great way to create a balanced diet: https://cronometer.com/
  3. 1 point
    I wanted to write this for my site, rather than copy and pasting the usual 'garb' from other sites, which never quite seem to get it right. "As a person with Aspergers, I will try and explain what it is – but, having always had Aspergers (obviously), I can’t really do much comparing with a ‘normal’ or ‘NT’ perspective. I don’t really feel that it is something that a person has, because there is little to be done to medicate it – it has to be something separate and targetable for that, surely? Aspergers is wound into my DNA, my personality – every action I take; it’s who I am. On the whole, Aspergers makes life a little harder – sometimes almost impossible, but it’s there all the time, and whilst on occasion I may seem perfectly normal, the whole thing is being carefully thought out an planned in my head; it’s an act – one which I’ve spent a while examining ‘normal’ people in order to put together. I want to write this, because I don’t like the usual definition, which is everywhere you look. It’s right, to an extent, but it’s a non-personal view, more than likely written by a ‘normal’ person. At the core of Aspergers, is a very distinct difficulty (and at times inability) to be social. This difficulty makes it so much harder to do so many necessary things. It’s necessary to go to school, but with that comes an expectation to make friends, and even if you don’t or aren’t pressured to, there’s always a need, at some point – usually on a regular basis – to work in a group. It was always something I dreaded, especially when for whatever reason, my final grade would be impacted by my ability to work in that group. I work best alone, where I can get things done in the most efficient, logical way, and to the highest standard. I know that other people won’t execute things to the standard I would. I know that. Even if it’s not true sometimes, I feel like it is, and it’s a chance I don’t want to take, and hate being forced into. Even when you take that part away, as if I could cope with it, you are still left with the awkward silence that would happen if I didn’t talk to the group, and communicate my ideas to them. Beyond school – which believe me, is a living nightmare for a person with Aspergers (and not just because of the social aspect, but I’ll get to the other reasons in a minute), you have work, parties, family get-togethers – even answering the door, shopping, ordering food and health appointments. Any situation where you have to (or are expected to) talk to another human being can be so scary and nerve wracking. At its worst, it can push me into a panic attack. But of course, most of these situations are vital, and can’t be avoided. If a person with Aspergers doesn’t have anyone to help them with these things, they can end up neglecting themselves through their anxiety towards anything social. Another important thing to mention is social ‘rules’. I guarantee you that almost everyone with Aspergers will have no idea what is meant by social ‘rules’ or understand this so called ‘etiquette’ at work or school, which for some reason, everyone else is silently aware of. It genuinely feels like all of this was explained to everyone else in a neat little book which they were able to read through at a very young age, and we never got a copy of it. If we break these rules, or etiquette, we’re left feeling red faced when everyone else is gasping, or giving us funny looks, only for us to realise that whatever we did was totally unacceptable – yet we were never told we couldn’t do it and now we’re in trouble! Whether or not you know you have Aspergers, you have this feeling in the back of your mind, somewhere, that you’re just really different, and until you get diagnosed, you have no idea why – and you mentally beat yourself up for not being able to just ‘be like everyone else’. The questions ‘Why can’t you be more like X person?’ or ‘X person doesn’t have a problem, so why do you?’ or ‘Everyone else is happy about this, why can’t you be?’ are questions we get asked a lot, and we just don’t know the answer, again, until we get a diagnosis – but even then, we feel bad for ‘blaming’ it. There are things that other people can physically do, like take a walk to town on their own and buy something in a shop; or take an exam in a crowded room with a ticking clock as the only background noise; or have a drink with friends at a local club playing the latest dance tune at full volume – which we can’t do because something mentally stops us. Yes, our bodies would do it, but we can’t make our minds let it happen. Which brings me onto sensitivity; a lot of people with Aspergers are over sensitive to something, whether it be touch, light, sound etc, or an unfortunate combination. For me personally, but I know a lot of other people who are the same, I am over sensitive to touch, light, textures (food and clothes) and sound. This means that when I’m exposed to something which I’m oversensitive to, I will panic. Usually I will have the urge to run away from whatever it is as fast as possible, and if I can’t I will end up having a panic attack – which can be very debilitating. For me, one of the worst and most frequent things is sound. I can hear noises which either other people can’t, or it doesn’t bother them because it’s so quiet – yet to me, these noises are incredibly loud, and can often drown out things which I know are definitely louder. I hate the little hum that comings from things on charge, or the ticking of a clock – both of which, if I’m having a particularly bad day, can drown out someone stood in front of me talking. I will miss chunks of their sentence because I couldn’t un-focus from the clock ticking away in the background (this was a problem in school as I would miss large parts of what the teacher was saying because I couldn’t stop hearing pencils tapping, clocks ticking or people chattering – and I would get into trouble for not paying attention, though when they repeated it I would always know the answer). As for sensitivity to clothes – this can be an awkward one until you’re an adult, because of things like school uniform, which is compulsory (in the UK at least), but also because parents have a tendency to want to dress you a certain way. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve literally ripped an item of clothing off because it made my skin feel like it was on fire. With anything that I’m oversensitive to, it just sets off a burning rage inside of me and it forces my arms to straighten out and my fists to clench up (which is also something that happens when I have a panic attack) – which of course looks a little odd in public, and I know this, and I hate it, but I just can’t help it. A sensitivity to touch is annoying when in a crowded place; a crowded place is bad enough because of the potential social aspect, not to mention the noise, but it also opens us up to being brushed past and jostled by the crowd. A light touch can be painful for someone with Aspergers and the place where contact was made can feel like it’s burning, or bruised for a long time after the touch happened. I know I would prefer a heavy touch to a light touch, so with hugs, a tight squeeze is a lot nicer than a light cuddle. Of course there are lots of different things which we can be oversensitive too, but you get the idea. On the flip side, there is under sensitivity to certain things, which can be dangerous. For example, I know a lot of people, myself included, are under sensitive to the temperature of water. For me, at least, I cannot tell the difference between really hot water and really cold water – the feeling is the same, it feels like it’s burning, but hot water actually does burn, and I don’t realise it fast enough, and putting it under cold water just hurts as well! Being under sensitive to pain is also dangerous for obvious reasons. Being awkward in social situations is awful, but a lot of our other symptoms make it clear, somehow, to ‘normal’ people that we’re different, or vulnerable, which can often open us up to bullying (and often people take advantage of us, which can be severe in worst case scenarios). Plus, a lot of people with Aspergers are really intelligent, which I guess puts us in the ‘geek’ category, and even when a ‘normal’ person is a geek, they usually get bullied to some degree – so to be a geek with Aspergers is just a nightmare. As nervous, shy people, we don’t really feel that we can stand up for ourselves either – at least, I never did, which only made things worse. And despite what you’ve read, a lot of people with Aspergers are in fact very emotional people, and when that emotion comes out as tears because you’re being bullied, well, as you can imagine, it doesn’t help the situation. I’ll stay on the subject of emotions, because I feel like it’s always explained wrongly. I for one am very emotional and I do care a lot about people; the only problem is that I don’t really know how to show my emotions in the right way. I care a lot for my parents and my brother, and even my extended family, but I don’t really show them; I don’t even miss them that much when I don’t see them for a while. It’s just easy for me to shut that part away when we say goodbye. I feel like when I leave a place, or a person, it or they stop existing until I’m there or see them again. Of course I know that this isn’t the case, but it’s how my mind processes it. Though, the exception is my fiancé, I can never be apart from him for long, as he is vital and I cannot be okay without him and I do show him that I love him. As for handshakes, cuddles or other methods of showing an emotion through a physical act, I dislike it most of the time (except for with my fiancé, but even then we sometimes have issues) because I’d rather not be touched, so people instantly think I don’t care or am a ‘cold’ person. I’m only really comfortable with my fiancé, my Mum and my brother. Something else which we can struggle with is changing from sad to okay again when something has upset us. When I get upset about something or angry or argue etc., I can’t feel okay again for hours, sometimes a whole day or two. Even if the situation is resolved, I just keep thinking about it when it wasn’t resolved and it upsets me over and over. A lot of people, ‘normal’ people, would be fine again once a resolution had been reached, and so they don’t understand at all why I might still be upset by it. That is something which often annoys me – how ‘normal’ people don’t struggle with what I struggle with, so they have no idea why I would struggle, just because they don’t; and so of course, to them I’m just over reacting. Sometimes I do over react, but in my head it really does feel that bad, and my feelings aren’t stupid: it’s how I feel – whether you would feel that way or not should not determine whether or not my reaction is justified. Opposite to this is when a ‘normal’ person does struggle with something that a person with Aspergers does, but only mildly – yet they tell us that everyone struggles with it, as if that justifies them telling us that we’re overreacting. It’s frustrating because I know they’re trying to make me feel better, but at the same time, all it does is make me feel worse because they’ve failed to understand how hard a time I am having, because they once went through something similar and were fine with it. Everyone is different. Another large part of Aspergers which is always mentioned is obsessions/interests; I have and have had many obsessions over the years. The thing that separates people with Aspergers obsessions from ‘normal’ people’s obsessions is their near inability to break away from it to do important things, like eat, wash etc. They also go above and beyond to find out or collect as much as they can to do with their obsession; of course this isn’t always the case, I have ‘light’ obsessions or obsessions which I feel don’t warrant a collection of knowledge or items. I get obsessed with TV shows, but all that really means is I will watch all of the episodes back to back in any spare time I can possibly allow, until they’ve all been seen. Yes, I sometimes forget to eat or shower – but this was worse before I got engaged because I lived with my Mum and she would bring me food and I wouldn’t have to break away for anything! Now I have to get things ready, cook or wash clothes etc. Along with collecting things to do with an obsession, people with Aspergers tend to ‘word vomit’/ ‘info dump’ to other people, who usually don’t care. This just means that they find any reason to steer a conversation towards their interest, and once they get there they struggle to stop talking about it – and also struggle to see that the other person is bored. On reflection, we often realise that we probably went on a bit too much, but it’s too late then – and the next ‘word vomit’/ ‘info dump’ will leave us too ‘one track minded’ to think about how we might be doing it again. Sometimes, I can see myself going too far and manage to shut up, but not often. Luckily for me, my fiancé shares a lot of the same interests and so we both ‘word vomit’/ ‘info dump’ on each other for hours and don’t notice/care! Of course, in the midst of all of this, is the feeling of loneliness. We know we can’t make friends easily, and we know we don’t really like having a friend when we do get one, because it can be very hard to work for us to maintain the friendship – but it doesn’t stop us wanting it. Maybe because it’s what is seen as ‘normal’, and we want that for ourselves, or maybe because we would like to share our interests – though, finding someone like that is difficult. These feelings, mixed with the confusion about our differences (which, no matter how long you’ve known about Aspergers, can always be hard to process, and we tend to get angry at ourselves a lot for not improving or forcing ourselves to do something) and the anger which is sometimes just there, unexplainably, we often tend to suffer from depression. It’s not always there all the time, but when it comes back we feel so lost. For me, my memories of being depressed span back to when I had a nervous breakdown caused by a lot of bullying and failing to attend school (despite my high grades). It was a dark time for me, most of which I spent asleep because I felt it was easier – a habit I’m still trying to break years later. But when I feel depressed again, I get scared that I’m going to be stuck again, like I was before. This loosely relates to routine, again, another thing which is always mentioned with Aspergers. I was in a routine of sleeping a lot to get away from being so upset – and when I get upset again, my reaction is to sleep. Routines are what help me get through things. A lot of people with Aspergers have routines, and sticking to them helps them to feel better – similarly, breaking the routine can make us feel terrible. And, if we’ve broken a routine ourselves, through being depressed and not feeling like we want to do anything, it makes things so much worse and we punish ourselves for our failure – when this happens to me I end up in a vicious cycle which is incredibly hard to break out of, but to start, I always write down a routine and if I stick to it, I can usually start to feel okay again. I like to eat the same things a lot – every Monday we’ll have beef etc. It makes shopping easier and I like knowing what will be for tea – and I’m in a routine of knowing what and when to cook depending on what day it is. It’s just a comfort. Everything else can sometimes feel so difficult, so having a routine to rely on is nice. For some people, their routine can be very in depth and detailed for the whole day, and they do this every single day – deviations from this, through external, uncontrollable factors can be very upsetting, because we’re relying on the comfort of familiarity. Again, panic attacks can happen when routines are broken. Similar to this is unexpected things in general, even if they don’t ruin a routine, they’re still not welcome. If someone calls round to see us without ringing, even if we were just watching TV or a film and it didn’t matter to us that much, in our heads, that’s what was happening for the next hour or however long. Once something is set in our minds, it can’t be changed without causing a least a little discomfort, but again, it can end up with a panic attack or meltdown. I try not to take anything seriously until it’s too late to change – but like I said, someone turning up out of the blue isn’t something you could have ever predicted or planned for, so no matter what you were doing, you weren’t expecting this, and it’s just hard to get your head around and feel okay with it straight away, or quick enough. I can never tell you fully what it is like to have Aspergers. You cannot filter out your normal way of thinking to understand what situations would be like from our point of view. It’s not just the things I’ve listed; I could never list everything for you because Aspergers really does affect everything, even if I don’t notice, everything I do, I do because I have Aspergers – just like everything you do, you do because that’s who you are, you wouldn’t do it any different because then you’d be someone else. I wouldn’t want my Aspergers to go away, because then I’d be someone else. I know I’ve struggled a lot at times because of it, but it’s so deep in the fabric of my being that if it wasn’t there then I wouldn’t be this person. And I like who I am. The people who bullied me made me stronger, and made me want to be something special, so they couldn’t ever say that they’d won. It is hard, but I wouldn’t change it; I’d change you, so that you can have a better understanding."
  4. 1 point
    When I was very young I always used to like going on swings and going down slides. Roundabouts were fun as well. As an adult I do still like certain kinds of motion. I really like leaning back on a chair so it's only standing on its hind legs. Spinning in a swivel chair can be enjoyable for me as well. I don't use lifts (elevators) very much but get a really nice feeling in my stomach as the lift moves up and down - especially when it starts moving. There can be a similar but milder feeling on escalators (moving staircases). Going over a hill in a car gives the same pleasant stomach feeling although only it seems when I am a passenger, not when I am driving. Enjoying these kinds of movement is sometimes linked to ASD although I would have thought these would be nice feelings for anyone. Do others get the same enjoyment out of them?
  5. 1 point
    That's a good analysis - maybe the difference (if there is one) is in terms of degree or openness. As regards theme park rides I haven't been on one for a very long time but can only cope with the less challenging ones. The motion isn't really the problem but being so high above the ground and feeling so exposed (even though I am safely strapped in) I find very scary. I could only manage the higher rides with my eyes closed. Even images on TV of someone looking our from a rooftop or cliff edge I find very unnerving but if they're looking out through a closed window it's okay. Overall I find motion enjoyable if it's at ground level or high up but safely "boxed in".
  6. 1 point
    I don't think that this is exclusively an ASD thing - everyone gets pleasure out of these movements - otherwise playground rides and theme parks with rides wouldn't exist. As people get older, they are socially trained to sit still and not engage in them. Perhaps people with ASD are less inhibited socially, get anxious more easily and use them more to calm their nerves or to reset their emotions and stimulation levels.
  7. 1 point
    I think the key to a healthier diet is low carb and high protein/fibre. As I have ADHD cutting gluten out of my diet makes a HUGE difference to me, I have more energy I sleep better and my mood improves. I have the Curves book (that's an Amazon UK link but if you search locally you will find it with that info, check ebay I got my cousin a new copy of it for a couple of quid on there recently) and I find if I loosely follow the low carb diet in that book within 10 days I see a huge improvement in my physical and mental well being, once you are feeling better physically and mentally then you can start adding in exercise which again will give you a big boost mentally (once your past your medical stuff of course). Also it doesn't have to be a lot of exercise, start small and manageable, like 10 minutes and build it up slow. As others have said it is about your whole lifestyle rather than a quick fix diet
  8. 1 point
    If you have access to the BBC I-Player you may want to watch a documentary called "The Asperger Moneysaver" about a young woman with ASD who is an expert on saving money. There are some insights into how autism affects females and how it can affect generations of the same family: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p05vvc8q/radio-1-stories-the-aspergers-moneysaver One of the things that I found most interesting in the programme was an interview with a university student called Rosie. I'm pretty sure this is the same person who was featured a few years ago in a very good documentary for children called "My Autism and Me": http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/15655232 Finally there is an extended article focusing on six women with ASD: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/women_late_diagnosis_autism
  9. 1 point
    Wow my city's NHL hockey team made it too the western conference playoffs in the 2018 NHL Stanley cup playoffs last night go jets go 😊👍
  10. 1 point
    I was in a shop recently and - rarely for me - struck up a little social conversation. This was going well but then I noticed a new customer coming up behind me and I felt I had to wrap up things quickly so I wasn't holding her up. Rather too quickly it seemed to me I did so but afterwards I felt I'd somehow got things wrong and my behaviour might have seemed odd (and as it turned out the new customer was only dropping something off so I didn't hold her up at all). This sort of scenario seems to happen too frequently to me - a feeling that I've somehow made some error in my contacts with people and disconcerted them. I could be wrong of course, e.g. the shopkeeper may have seen nothing unusual in what happened, but the doubts remain. Maybe others have experienced similar situations. To give an analogy I feel it's similar to hearing someone play a piece of music. They may do so competently or even very well on the whole but somewhere in the performance they strike a wrong note and afterwards all we can remember is the mistake. I feel this may be similar for others with ASD. Some with profound difficulties may be like a musician who doesn't play at all, plays a completely unexpected tune or plays so badly the tune is unrecognisable. Most of us are not so afflicted but tend to make these small, occasional errors (sometimes bigger ones) which damage our image as socially competent, confident people. As with musical performance it's always possible to get better yet still never quite seem assured.
  11. 1 point
    @Sanctuary I think the important thing is that you did start up a conversation. Its often the little unexpected surprises that can seem to get in the way of progress, but next opportunity you get either you'll work out that you're not in the way or the third person won't turn up!
  12. 1 point
    I agree with you completely about venues and concert experiences. I only meant to suggest that smaller venues will make tickets more scarce for an act as popular as anything Floyd-related, but I do vastly prefer small, seated venues and audiences who respectfully appreciate the music. The risk for non-attention-seeking folks who just want to enjoy the music is that you never know what sort of audience you're going to get. I went with a relative to see a more mainstream band they liked a few years ago, and the audience were a nightmare, constantly screaming, whooping, clapping out of time, rushing the stage, etc. which to some extent ruined the experience. Thankfully, when I saw the Jon Anderson lineup of Yes last year, the audience were perfectly fine and I loved the show. My dad and I thought about going to see the Steve Howe lineup this year, but couldn't due to travel arrangements. I'm kind of glad we didn't, because a video I saw on YouTube of the gig was full of old drunk geezers singing along out of tune, which would be bad enough with any band, but with Yes?! Ugh. So audience behaviour clearly isn't related to genre. It's a real gamble. I suppose King Crimson would be the only safe bet. I hear Fripp doesn't tolerate that sort of thing. I have very little patience for artists who whine about non-disruptive audience behaviour. Unless they're actually disrupting your ability to play or other fans' ability to enjoy it, shut the fuck up and be grateful that they're paying you so much money to do something you enjoy. There are many talented musicians out there who'd give anything for just a fraction of Wilson's average audience and certainly wouldn't see attentive listening as a cause for complaint.
  13. 1 point
    To be honest, I prefer to listen to music at home, rather than go to a concert. At home, I can hear everything in detail without distortion from often dodgy stage audio equipment played too loudly, shouting and screaming fans who care more about making as much noise as possible and don't seem want to listen to the music. I actually prefer to go to a venue where the audience is seated, because I just want to be able to listen to the music without interference or participation from a noisy audience. If the live concert is particularly good, I will buy the recording, but mainly I stick to studio albums. Steven Wilson held a concert at a venue known to me, the Warwick Arts Centre, and complained bitterly because the audience was seated. In fact most rock music fans and musicians would rather the audience were standing, but for me this is an advantage! I find that other people have a completely different opinon to me about what constitutes having good time and a good experience.
  14. 1 point
    Very good analysis Sirius and I'm sorry to hear of your own difficult experiences. The experiences of the youngsters on the programme and their families are sadly far from unusual. We keep hearing politicians say that there should be "parity" in the treatment of mental health and physical health but we aren't remotely near that point and mental health services continue to be the poor relation. You also make good points re inclusion. It's a nice idea in practice and sometimes works extremely well but all too often it is code for "do nothing and save some money". Genuine, successful inclusion needs considerable planning and resources. All too often "inclusion" means that those with difficulties end up being more neglected, more left out and fall further and further behind. It doesn't have to be like that but it will be unless it's much better managed and supported.
  15. 1 point
    So Nesf and Riri both like to drink beer? Google Translate really does give away peoples secrets, or likes to have fun making things up
  16. 1 point
    How strange. I tried to write it very simply so that it could be easily understood. I actually put it in Google Translator and thought it translated it very well but I guess I saw that wrong. It just means that just like Nesf and Riri you also like music. I didn't write anything deep or anything, I just meant to say some random, positive things about the people on the forum. The idea being that it was easy to follow for those interested in picking up some basic Dutch. I'm sorry it ended up being confusing. I guess it kinda backfired.
  17. 1 point
    Currently reached episode 4 season 1 of this. It's awesome. The only thing that bothers me is the media stereotype; male autie/autist with savant mathematical abilities. The media's perception or presentation of autism is getting boring and very close to the point of being offensive. I'm female, highly verbal and am crap at maths. I am not Rain Man! Having said that Kim Peek, the man they based Rain Man on, apparently was not autistic according to documentaries that I have watched and things that I have read about him; his diagnosis was revoked following a series of CT, EEG and MRI scans, revealing no autism, but an extremely rare brain abnormality.

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