Jump to content

Leaderboard

  1. Alice

    Alice

    Member


    • Points

      8

    • Content Count

      312


  2. Ben

    Ben

    Know My Way Around


    • Points

      5

    • Content Count

      2,879


  3. Peridot

    Peridot

    Asperclicker


    • Points

      4

    • Content Count

      2,391


  4. Kuribo

    Kuribo

    Asperclicker


    • Points

      4

    • Content Count

      5



Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 09/18/2019 in Posts

  1. 3 points
    @Ben I would urge caution.. I set out for a similar thing 5-6 years ago and it did not go well, I only ended up traumatised and demoralised. I'm sure you are not as idealistically naive as I was - you can still have your ideals but be in touch with reality (which I wasnt really). Taking responsibility for your own sense of safety and security is a mark of maturity, make sure that you know your limits and what you can do and can actually achieve. Sure you are an unlimited soul, and authenticity is always important in everything you do, but just be aware of your own limitations as a human being in this life, and take care of yourself - you are the only one who will, when it comes down to it. I do think a grounded sense of safety is important for people on the spectrum with challenges with sensory and social things - to conventionally 'make it' in the world, you need to be able to navigate it well. I also think its awful people stay in a soul sucking jobs or lives. Ive come to accept people do this for survival and might compromise most of their dreams for having one - having a home and family instead of travel, or being a 'starving artist' - or vice versa, and do what they can to at least have part of their souls needs met - I think the only response to that is compassion. These people tend to turn to drinking or some kind of addiction/numbing just to not feel the pain having to do that and just get by as best they can, they carry traumas and their own burdens, like anyone not completely enlightened. I used to feel frustrated with these people also, so I get it, but I more just feel heart broken for it. Its more tragic and more complicated than being unwilling to change - its the whole structures of the world (like capatalism, meritocracy and ableism, and the lack of value on human life) and where we are as human beings especially our self awareness of our own wounds when it comes to parenting because so much of the same traumatic baggage keeps getting past down generation to generation just in slightly different form. The way we treat the earth - and every creature on it like "The giving tree" (its a childrens book, hopefully you get the reference). Anyway, I do genuinely hope things go better for you than they did for me. I still believe in change, of course. Is it not possible to stay where you are and still pursue your dreams - if it is manuscripts, cant this be done online with submissions? If your able to pursue travel, thats awesome, but cant you plan for it budget-wise? and have some money put aside if you dont get a job again straight away, or return to the farm once you are done?
  2. 2 points
    Just to clarify in case anyone is confused, this is me, the original Kuribo (aka StarlessEclipse). I recently came to the conclusion that I despise my second account almost as much as my original one, so I'm having one last fresh start. No more self-indulgent angst - constructive contributions only from now on. That's a promise.
  3. 2 points
    One thing I heard (and I think it's true) is that there are many beautiful people who's insecurity level is directly proportional to their beauty. So the more beautiful, the more insecure. There's one girl in my local supermarket who is very pretty. She must be amongst the most beautiful women in my hometown and I think she's had a breast enhancement. Totally unneccesary but apparently she didn't feel pretty enough... But then other people don't seem to be insecure like e.g. Kate Beckinsale. It's like she's hot and she knows it. lmao Nothing wrong with that.
  4. 2 points
    what kind of wildlife pictures have you taken heres a picture of a fox that I took near my family’s cottage ‘it was really cool the fox was really tamed and not ‘afraid of ‘people
  5. 2 points
    I am into nature photography, although I'm also a college student who can't afford a nice camera. That in mind when it came to finally upgrade my phone I made sure it had a nice camera. Here are some of the shots I've got. I actually messed around with the long exposure and have some nice night shots too. Of coarse I had to compress these in order to upload them.
  6. 1 point
    It's still fairly common to hear that autistic people "take everything literally" and "don't understand sarcasm". Through examining my own experience and observing others from various ends of the spectrum, I've come to view this as an oversimplification. I think that the instinct to read between the lines is just as present in most of us as it is in neurotypicals, and that our difficulty lies in doing it accurately. My sister is autistic and quite severely learning disabled (childhood speech delay, mental capacity of around 6/7 years old). She seeks constant emotional reassurance, yet increasingly takes offence when we give it to her, as it's taken to imply that she isn't happy (something she resents ever admitting), when this isn't how it's intended. Even an innocuous remark about something positive that happened in the past will be misinterpreted as implying that her life isn't as good in the present. This isn't the behaviour of someone who takes spoken communication at face value, but someone who instinctively tries and fails to do the opposite. I would even say that a significant number of high-functioning autistics I've met offline through various social groups actually have an above-average grasp of irony. Even with obvious social and communication difficulties, their approach to humour often tends to be quite dark, twisted and sarcastic. As for me, while I do have difficulty with non-verbal communication, and there are times when the true meaning of a sarcastic comment might elude me, I definitely don't lack an instinctive understanding that language can't reliably be taken at face value. I have come across a few who genuinely do seem to lack this instinct, but my experience suggests that its prevalence is overstated.
  7. 1 point
    I really disagree with this - this is autism discrimination. Plenty of autistic people have difficulty controlling facial expressions, have facial tics, or just dont conform to the socially accepted facial expressions, especially when getting sensory overwhelm (like when giving global speeches..) - they should still be accepted just as they are by people/society and able to pursue their dreams and goals without hatred, bullying, and discrimination. People know shes autistic, and need to get over it and understand she doesnt mean what those expressions 'normally' mean. Saying she should try harder misses the point - its just the same as telling someone to suppress their stims. The high pressure to always be conforming to NT standards, to be perfectly 'masking' (imitating a neurotypical) - is doing double the work, effort and stress and is exactly what leads to autism burnout. Its also why there is such a high unemployment rate, university dropout, and suicide rate - a lack of accepting autistic people for how they are. But no-one tells Kodi Lee that he should change his face and expressions to be accepted and able to follow his dreams, so its either bias/lack of understanding around some autistic symptoms and not others or just a sexist thing - or that Greta is challenging those in power benefiting from the current toxically capitalistic economy. "Noone is more hated than he who speaks the truth" - Plato.
  8. 1 point
    @RiRi Its valid to want to "just to feel appreciated or liked and in turn, allowed to be nice and interact with other." but you shouldnt have to change your body to do that - there are whole movements fighting this idea: the way society is that we have to be beautiful, thin white or neurotypical to be treated respectfully and like a human being (body positivity, neurodiversity movements and those fighting ableism/disability discrimination, feminism etc..). With Megan Fox, I dont keep up with her - I dont really remember seeing anything from her since the first transformers - but this style of interview I find interesting, and it popped up on my feed. I do think that if she wanted botox, its her right and its no less 'superficial' than wanting to loose weight to look better (no offense meant, but they are the same thing). Her body is none of my business - I was interested in what she had to say as a person I have no idea what its like to be continuously judged, photographed and have all sorts of expectations on your appearance when its continually in front of people - and a lot of people are really malicious, esp on the net. I could understand that pressure affecting someone - to either get botox, or not be feeling like being 'nice and polite', maybe some people on set were awful to her - I dont know the movie incident you are talking about, but regardless - we have no idea how she was treated that created that response from her. Even then, people are allowed to have character flaws, to have bad days, or make choices, or be in the process of growth, without being hated. I'm glad I dont have to have all my bad choices aired in front of the world - they would be much worse! I used to be very overweight. I think weight loss can be very difficult for people on the spectrum - or was for me, with sensory stuff, not feeling hunger or fullness, excess stress and using food or drink to stim when around others or overwhelmed.If its something you want to do, then wonderful - I hope you succeed and I genuinely wish you the best but I will say - though people/strangers may smile more, attempt to flirt, be polite, chat etc.. when you conform a bit more to socially accepted appearance/'beauty" standards - at the start, but as soon as I open my mouth, or dont make the required response, correct facial expression, the attitude changes completely, and people become hostile, rude etc.. unless im having a good masking success moment lol so for me its also an autism thing (and I am not as disadvantaged as you are in regards to belonging to the dominant skin tone). My point is - its society that is the problem. Its great you are "working on not letting people treat me bad affect me and that's the ultimate goal to no affect me" - its hard, but this is something I agree with: being true to yourself no matter the response. Buddha said something about: If you always care about what people think, you become a slave to them" - a slave to whatever they want from you. People are still going to dislike you if you are thin - I certainly dont have friends. I mean look at how Greta Thurnberg is being treated in the media, and she is doing amazing things. But because she doesnt come across "normal" esp in facial expression, she gets hate, and people assume all sorts of things about her based on something about her body face expression that she cant or has-difficulty controlling. https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#search/greta/FMfcgxwDrbsbHCfDHfcpqVtVnzFnbQSL I'm actually pretty strong minded about body positivity: which is just the movement that says that: all bodies deserve to respectfully regardless of what they look like. Its just about trying to re-educate society to treat all people with human dignity - which includes everyday encounters in our lives, and the things you are wanting. Although you probably wont be interested, theres a great book "The Beauty Myth" which I listened to which changed my whole perspective, I even shaved my head bald (after having years of lovely long hair) to help me to stop caring about what people think of me - its was painful, people even yelled at me driving by, or laughed etc.. but I really dont care anymore, if people want to be that superficial, I dont want them in my life. I look how I want for me, just like I decorate my home how I want, for me. There are women on Instagram celebrating the bodies - large, coloured, disabled etc.. (like https://www.instagram.com/bodyposipanda/ or https://www.instagram.com/tessholliday/) which werent around when I was bigger. You dont actually have to change your body to be happy and accept yourself - or course you still can, but some people cant: it comes down to genes, gut bacteria, hormones and a whole lot of other things. Oh and there was this BRILLIANT short TV series called Naked Beach - if you are in the UK it would be easy to watch it on BBC iPlayer (I highly recommend it - its only 3 episodes, even just out of interest, its so good). So even if you still want to loose weight, better to also work on your mind and attitude to yourself - because like you say, youth doesnt last long, but you are with you for your whole life, so it might as well be a happy, self-approving relationship as much as possible which will make you much happier all the time rather than just when other people are descent to you (which is still so important and valid) but yeah.. Sorry for the long one (special interests..)
  9. 1 point
    That's life, I guess? No one's 100% happy in every way?
  10. 1 point
    @RiRi I'm not saying im right, its just another way to look at it. I can be a bit too idealistic for practical reality, I cant even live up to all my ideals all the time. Autistic people are socially disempowered so I can understand wanting to increase that in some way. Flowers give joy and pleasure to those that look at them, just by being beautiful. But I do think you wouldnt want to grow up relying on that - and have your personality form around that. If you dont naturally give people joy - you have to work for it - it forces you to either build character/be descent (or a people pleaser), hard working or find something else to give joy/value by/ or be socially needed (not that I ever figured that one out, I just make people uncomfortable). Though plenty of unattractive people are jerks and vise versa. But - I think thats why we like ugly -> beautiful transformations, because the persons personality has already formed - theyre generally already a really intelligent, interesting, humble or kind person - and then that gets added to them and they just enjoy it as a bonus. - And they actually get to choose it, rather than a genetic lottery. Unlike a flower, a human is allowed to be shy about it, or not like attention, hate it, or use it for their gain, let it go to their head or just simply appreciate it - depends on the type of attention it brings - the type of beauty, and type of responses. Megan Fox gave a really good interview I randomly watched the other day and she talks about her experience in a very self-aware and intelligent way about her experience as the "sexy girl" The main parts are at 6.25 and 11.40, but the whole thing is pretty interesting, as it shows aspects of her relationship to herself as she is looking at her own old interviews
  11. 1 point
    @RiRi I dont know personally, but I honestly dont think it would be as great as you think it would be I wrote this answer in Quora in response to the Question "How do I accept that i'm not pretty?" if you're interested: Unconditional human value. Everyone has it regardless of their constellation of qualities. Also, attractiveness is like a commodity or a currency, which, in regards to physical attractiveness by a purely idealised standard, people received for free. Those who are highly attractive are sought out for this alone, which has nothing to do with them as a person. People want to get next to that attractiveness, get something from it, be associated with it. They also want to praise it, praise you for something you didnt do - what a sure way to distort a healthy sense of self? Would you be seen for who you are? Would you be able to accept your faults if they are always glossed over, and people assume you are perfect? If you are highly attractive, you run the risk of that superficiality seeping into you. Thinking you are more special, more deserving, more capable (because things seem to come easier to you, and people assume the best of you - this is a cognitive bias even babies commit). You probably run a greater risk of developing narcissistic traits or even the full blown personality disorder if the other precursors are there. Maybe some of this is exaggerated, and there are some people who are both very attractive and genuinely humble and balanced (not just an act of humility as part of their persona as is far more common). Either way, having a body, and interacting with the world through this interface which doesnt accurately represent who we are on the inside (the good, the bad, the distorted, the hidden), will always pose challenges, whichever way you are blessed - or not. If I had to pick, I would rather be ugly, but beautiful on the inside - genuinely a beautiful soul, and my face would be a filter to all the superficial people of the world, so I only meet or keep in my life the very best of people who can look beyond the limitations of my body Also, I think as a female we get a hint at both sides perhaps? I'm naturally smack in the middle, appearance wise, but when I put on makeup to leave the house, people treat me a bit differently: smile more, hold doors, give certain looks at you, are less awful/rude - and assume better of you somehow etc.. but if I dont wear makeup - but still otherwise am dressed fine/the same, it doesnt occur - the reverse does. Neither are particularly ideal. I would rather be invisible actually, if that were an option. But I think for beautiful people, it must be this in the extreme and its really disingenuous, it must be awful
  12. 1 point
    Ugly or Beautiful, it's more often than not the same thing. I mean, some would consider me handsome, but I don't take it as a compliment. In some cases it actually irritates me. It's my soul that I want people to recognise.
  13. 1 point
  14. 1 point
    We had no closer & the number of players hit 140. It was the busiest regular-play day we've had since I've been at Maywood. That's been 12 years!
  15. 1 point
    I think there are actually sites that look like chat sites but they are actually just a robot/AI trying to be human. This is actually a technique (that they are supposed to disclose I think) to help train AIs quickly. As for any real chat site, I imagine its full of people just trying to be weird or make a meme because they are anonymous
  16. 1 point
    My dad spends significant part of his income on non-prescription drugs and I thought I could help him to save a little on his bills. I'm looking for a cheaper alternative to regular CVS stores since some of his medication isn't covered by health insurance. Yes, those are non-prescription drugs and I've been thinking about some sort of an online drug store. I've heard that Canadian ones are a lot cheaper than US-based. And judging by the news about their health system I don't think this theory is far fetched. Anyway, I need any feedback regarding real life experience of dealing with online drug stores. Any pitfalls etc. Will appreciate any kind of info regarding this issue. For instance: delivery times, payment methods, customs office issues and scammers. Anyway, I would appreciate any kind of feedback on your online medication sellers. Which are more reliable, which ones deal with prescription drugs (if it's legal to do so). I have never tried it online, so I'd like to get as much info as possible. Thanks.
  17. 1 point
    I firmly believe that if the Democrats pick another middle-of-the-road, corporate-backed candidate like Biden, O'Rourke or Harris, it's highly probable that Trump will win a second term. I think Bernie Sanders has the widest potential appeal, as he'd be guaranteed the young, left-leaning activist base and the centrist crowd who'd vote for anyone but Trump, but there are also a lot of desperate voters in the Rust Belt who were seduced by the GOP in 2016, but could be won over by Bernie's economic policies now that Trump has failed to deliver. When it comes to policy, Sanders' healthcare plan alone makes electing him a humanitarian necessity. Failing that, Tulsi Gabbard, Elizabeth Warren, and Andrew Yang are all decent candidates. Not as good as Bernie, but certainly good enough to vote for.
  18. 1 point
    You're looking for nice white people to chat with? lmao I've been on "E-chat" which I think it was called and a few exceptions aside all people I spoke to (or tried to speak to) were so weird it was like they weren't even people at all.
  19. 1 point
    @Ben I like the first one. Mine: 1. Songs for Zula - Phosphorescent (the live version). This is the only melancholy toned one in my top 5, but its worth it. 2. Jack Johnson - Anything at all - Ive listened to all his albums shuffled (apart from the kids songs) for over a decade and I never tire of it. Its heartfelt, soulful, uplifting and insightful. Favourite artist of all time. 3. Dancing in the moonlight - Thin Lizzy 4. Barenaked Ladies - Pinch Me Also if you need cheering, Lookin Up (Accoustic version) by them never fails 5. Name - Goo goo Dolls (But Marinade by Dope Lemon.. and The KIllers really wrestle for this spot)
  20. 1 point
    After what I saw it's capable of doing to people in pain, I'm positive it should be legalized. People will still use it regardless.
  21. 1 point
    As most of them, could be better.
  22. 1 point
    https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=fe4EK4HSPkI&list=RDAMVMfe4EK4HSPkI
  23. 1 point
    They're pritty good I must admit.
  24. 1 point
    greta thunberg I’m so glad that she did that protest against climate change all around the world we all got to do are part too save that planet
  25. 1 point
    A very interesting post and you are right that both age discrimination and discrimination against those with autism are major problems in the workplace. Age discrimination is almost impossible to prove, especially when it occurs at the point of application or interview as a candidate has no way of proving age was the reason they weren't selected. Difficulties in finding work often mean that older applicants - whatever their previous experience, qualifications and skills - end up in low status, low-skilled, limited prospect jobs which are frequently insecure. Those older applicants who are more successful in getting good jobs often do so through connections, e.g. friends, former colleagues and sometimes family members who help them get a new position. This is where applicants with ASD (whatever their age) face major difficulties as they tend to lack these sorts of workplace connections - families may offer some sort of support into employment but other links are more difficult to make. As you suggest individuals with ASD are often negatively judged in the workplace so less likely to make these sorts of connections. Employees are judged by managers and co-workers and autistic workers are much more likely to be seen as "not fitting in", "distant", "aloof", "stuck-up", "awkward", "weird" and other negative terms. Work is very much a social arena and while that doesn't mean workers all have to be great friends or be part of networks those who are seen as "one of us" are much more likely to be viewed favourably. Employers talk a lot about the value of distinctiveness, diversity and inclusiveness but the talk is usually hollow. What is valued most is conformity. They tend to recruit people with whom they feel socially comfortable and employ those with similar backgrounds and personalities to themselves, or at least those similar to the current workforce. Thereby the workplace tends to reproduce itself - the people may alter but the broad personalities and mindsets do not. Fresh ideas are hard to come by and workers from different backgrounds - especially those with ASD - have limited prospects for entry and progress.
  26. 1 point
    There definitely is an age bias. The bullying I have been subject to has been done by whispers and innuendo. A colleague will see that I am socially awkward and isolated and will spread lies knowing that I am not in the social loop. Twelve years ago I got passed up for a promotion. I was clearly the most qualified for the job. It was also clear that people on the hiring team were hiding their reasons from me. I decided to get another job. I had not succeeded in making any real friends in my current job, though I had been there for years. I clearly did not have the social skills to combat a rumour campaign. So I got a better job. This was not the first or last time this sort of thing happened to me. But I had the skills to find another job fairly easily. But on my last job the same thing happened again. I knew who was spreading the lies but was still unable to counter them. But this time, though I had even more developed skills, I had a really hard time finding another job. I looked older and I was truthfully claiming how many years of experience I had. Even when I did very well in an interview, or a number of interviews, I was not getting the job. I usually did well in interviews with technical staff, but poorly in interviews with upper management. I suppose I did not understand the social, emotional, body language, human parts of the process well enough to answer appropriately. I could not find any therapists who understood my issues. But I did get a job coach who told me to remove everything from my resume that could indicate my age. I started getting significantly more interviews. But I was still not hired and I assume that social awkwardness and/or my age played a part. I finally got an interview which was a phone interview - no body language involved, no visual to give away my age and only technical questions asked. They called back ten minutes later to offer me the job. As long as they did not realize how old and odd I was, they were willing to hire me. But for many months the combination of age and AS was a double obstacle that I did not overcome. I just got lucky with an interview that hid who I was.
  27. 1 point
    Too much of me in this thread - which is strange, considering I never post selfies anywhere else that often
  28. 1 point
  29. 1 point
    Make London a monthly thing - it's a city that improves the more you visit it. (The same can't be said for New York - go once, maybe twice, but after the forth or fifth time you'll definitely see a darker side. City of dreams? Er, not quite. I see a lot of broken dreams though...)
  30. 1 point
    I certainly do like to have control over my environment but at the same time like variety. In fact, sometimes I thrive off unpredictability and ensure the idea of taking something as it comes. In a way its planned chaos, except that the chaotic part is the part I can't predict at all, but I can predict that I'll be doing something unexpected. The one thing that I love to do every once in a blue moon and hope to repeat later this year is visiting London alone and purposefully have no set plan to where I'm going to go to. Generally I walk along side different street until I get fed up of it or get intriqued by a certain street. One time I reached a random street and looked at its name, wow, it was called Great Ormond Street. Its famous for having a childrens hospital. Another time, I kept randomly changing the tube, landed up on Kings Road, randomly decided to look round to take in this famous street and there was someone dressed like a 1960s teddy boy running in my direction, another time landed up on Brick Lane and then in what turned out to be a French quarter where the street names started with 'rue'. But, with that said, I do to some extent have routines although not really at fixed times. I certainly have a bit of routine to allow rest which I need a lot of, especially when in employment as I am currently.
  31. 1 point
    Sounds like you may like the movie Pleasantville. A fan of 1950s soap opera is literally transported into his favourite soap called Pleasantville. He sees the fifties as nostalgic so is delighted to be right in the middle of a fifties family with his ultra modern sister. All of them are in black and white and society is rigid. Everyone does the same thing and follows their role. Nobody swears in.Pleasantville but the teens say, "Gee whiz!". The men.always hang their hat on the hat-stand and say, "Honey I'm home!" and the the school basketball team never lose. There is a place in Pleasantville called Lovers Lane where young couples go as far as "holding hands". Anyway, the sister rebells. She starts to teach her classmates to chew gum and say "cool". Worse, she goes down on the school team captain Skip in Lovers Lane in their car. People start turning from black and white to colour but this horrifies the Pleasantville residents. People turn nasty and then the rigid side of Pleasantville is exposed. They pass laws to oppose change.
  32. 1 point
    My cat got a new bed today and she seems to like it.
  33. 1 point
    Back in the UK after what was an incredible trip to the far east. I can't recommend lone travelling as an Aspie enough - it always does wonders for me. (I think it helps that I love Asia too.) The world is much kinder than you think.
  34. 1 point
    I travel to the Netherlands frequently, and hang out in Amsterdam a lot. And honestly? Next to Japan, I'm yet to visit a more civilised country. In fact, I think all drugs bar heroin should be legal. Alcohol is worse than all of them.
  35. 1 point
  36. 0 points
    @Willow There are plenty of photos and videos showing your face, plenty of photos on your website. One is even your avatar.


  • Newsletter

    Want to keep up to date with all our latest news and information?
    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.