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    Willow

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    Ben

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    RiRi

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 12/22/2018 in all areas

  1. 8 points
    I know that over the years, people have passed judgement on a great many things about me and the way I run the forum etc., and it kind of occurred to me lately that apologies are due, some to specific people (one of which is what prompted me to write this), and some to the forum as a whole. But it also occurred to me that I’m no longer afraid to speak out about certain things. So this will be an apology but also me finally speaking my truth. For the purposes of this blog post, I will refer to my ex as ‘C’ – those of you that the apologies apply to know who I mean, I just don’t want to type his name over and over. The truth is that there are many reasons why I’ve acted certain ways at certain times, but I feel I should have been strong enough at those times to know who I was, and to stand by my own thoughts and morals, and not be persuaded to adopt someone else’s thinking. There’s a lot that happens with relationships that people don’t see, that is true for everyone. It’s truer still for people in any kind of abusive relationship. There is an effort made in public to seem like a perfect couple – 1. From the abuser, so that they don’t raise suspicion, and so that when the victim tries to tell people something’s wrong, they can’t for a second believe that the abuser could ever be anything other than the lovely person they appear to be. And 2. From the victim so that they don’t suffer any consequences behind closed doors. There’s a lot that can go wrong in a relationship, and it’s never only one person’s fault, this is true for everyone. In my circumstance, I feel a large fault is with me for not realising soon enough that C was abusive, for sticking up for him when he was being abusive and for not been brave enough to leave. But I do also understand that in the situation I was in, I merely did the best I could and learnt to submit and survive. I feel that to give any of this context a few examples must be given. Growing up, my Dad was volatile – he was angry and controlling, and I was terrified of him. He manipulated situations to make me feel worthless, from when I was just a young child, so I grew up with a belief that I wasn’t good enough and that I always needed to impress him or do as he said to avoid punishment, not knowing that his demands were unreasonable and cruel. He frequently abandoned me when I really needed support most. He had a routine of giving me bad news or getting angry with me in public when I was relying on him to get me home, so I had to act the way he was expecting me to at least until I was safe. When I met C at 17, I was probably at the lowest point of my life thus far. I’d known him a few years already, as friends, so he knew a lot about my Dad and about my bullies through school etc. Early on, when I said I didn’t want to be in a relationship, he got angry with me, usually when I was with him alone and he’d driven us somewhere, so I defaulted to acting how he wanted to keep him happy until I was safe at home. He also developed a routine of threatening to hurt or kill himself if I didn’t see him. I thought he needed help, I didn’t think he was manipulating the situation. He sexually assaulted me, because I couldn’t overpower him, and I was afraid because he’d taken me out in the car and then stopped somewhere dark and far from my house. He raped me on a separate occasion because I’d allowed him to stay over after more suicidal threats, and because again I couldn’t overpower him, physically or with words. ‘No’ and ‘stop’ lost all meaning and so I just gave up. By this point his anger had me beat and I was already slipping into a habit of doing what C wanted so that I didn’t suffer. But looking back I was suffering all along, so I don’t know why I did the things I did. Having since had PTSD therapy to help overcome my relationship with C, I learnt that the brain reacts to the actions he was making in a certain way. In a traumatic situation such as sexual or mental abuse, your brain has a fight or flight response. I couldn’t fight him in a lot of these situations: I wasn’t strong enough. ‘Flight’ also wasn’t an option many times because he had taken me somewhere that I couldn’t get home from. The final choice in these scenarios is to submit. And when we submit to something traumatic, we don’t really stick around in ‘the now’ to experience or process it fully, which is why we then suffer PTSD, because something will trigger one of those partially formed memories and we will go back to that moment to try and process it, but we often are left with just a feeling, like the one we felt at the time. So unfortunately, I spent most of my 6 years with C submitting – slowly losing any sense of self-worth, sanity, happiness…anything, until I was just a numb shell. There were moments where I felt better, and I’d maybe reach out to people in these moments, something which I would later realise was a huge mistake when C came home and read my messages and got angry with me for speaking to someone other than him. I would then promise not to do it again. Or I would think about going back into education, or look for a part time job, or learning to drive, something to get me out of the house and start building a future for myself – something which I would again regret, when C would close down the idea completely, saying it would be a waste of my time, or that he didn’t want me being around other people – guys – who would talk to me, if I had a job, or that I didn’t need a car of my own because where would I need to go without him? I’d maybe wear a nice outfit or do my hair and makeup nice, but then he would make me change because I looked too ‘slutty’, and he didn’t want people looking. I eventually ended up not leaving the house, not speaking to anyone, barely seeing my family (because C didn’t like who I was when I was with them), not making any effort with how I looked, and basically just existing to please him. Whenever C had crazy ideas about how our future would look, I would go along with it – we’ll move to America, we’ll move to Sweden, we’ll start a business, we’ll start a different business etc., and I also did lots of research to see how doable any one idea was and try my best to make it seem like it could work. Sure, I’d have loved to visit these places, and running your own business is great. But, me leaving the country forever with C, so he had complete control of everything and total ownership of me…no. Running a business, so I’d be with him 24/7 (a reason he wanted to pursue it, so we’d have no need to be apart). These weren’t my dreams, they were just things I was trying to make happen to keep him happy. Happy C meant less shouting, less sexual abuse, less punishments – whether it was him storming off in the car and leaving me at home, or somewhere we’d been, or him playing games and not talking to me at all. It came to a head when his behaviour worsened and his family started to notice and pull him up on it, and check that I was okay. It became unbearable. All of this whilst there was a wedding planned that I felt tied to, a house we were buying that I thought would make him happy enough to stop abusing me. But when other people were starting to notice his cruelty, I started to get braver and realise just how wrong the situation I was in was. This is where I made my biggest mistake, but it’s one I will never regret, because it’s what led to me being able to leave C once and for all. With his family checking in on me so much, I was able to get to know his brother for the first time in 5 years. C had always put a stop to any interaction I had had with him in the past, unhappy that I had things in common with him. But getting to know him and realising that a person can just be nice to you…with no expectations and no games, was a real eye opener for me. And with me being trapped in the house (we lived with him at the time) he was the only other person my age I had any contact with and had had any contact with for years. So, it was nice to just chill and talk about films, cars and music. Which led to flirting and a kiss or two etc., (no sex, I struggled with intimacy because of the sexual abuse from C). He introduced me to his friends, and we went to car meets together and it was amazing to feel a little bit free and for those moments, a little bit happy. So, one day, after months of starting to feel more confident, braver and feeling not so worthless, an argument with C just tipped me over the edge and I said I had to have some time away from him to rethink everything. He gave me a few hours before turning up to beg me to stay, reverting to talking about suicide if we ever weren’t together. He asked me if there was someone else, and I can’t lie so I nodded. I didn’t want to ruin his entire family, so I didn’t say who. But he later logged into my PC and hacked into my phone and found our conversations, so that was, effectively, that. He did beg me to stay still, but I had to take this chance to escape, so I said no. He got angry, locked me out of our house, blackmailed my parents for money, stole my forum and kept most of my possessions. End of story. I don’t blame him for his reaction there, he assumed I’d been sleeping with his brother for months, even though that wasn’t quite the case – It’s obviously still not right what I did, but like I said…no regrets. All this to say that, behind the scenes, behind every mood swing that you’ve seen from me, behind every change of plans, every out of the blue decision…was me struggling to exist with C. So, with that all written down, I would first like to say sorry to the original members of the forum, those who were frequent posters in the first year, 2013. I initially was so positive and had a lot of contact with many of you, which I know dropped off for no apparent reason, firstly by me seeming distant and dismissive, and then you just all got the message to quit trying – something which deeply saddened me, but I absolutely expected and didn’t blame you for it. Of course, in the above you see why this happened. I’m just sorry I didn’t fight back and insist that I be allowed friends. @Alex and @Ben are people who I used to be close to and then just totally phased out. These are two members who deserve specific apologies, because I started being quite cold to you both – Ben in particular. This was because C had a habit of looking at my messages (texts, skype, Facebook and PM’s on the forum – yes, he used to read PM’s, which he could do through the back back end of the system, some kind of code or something, it’s not a feature on the software of the forum, so don’t worry, I have no clue how he did it, but he was exceedingly good at keeping an eye on everything – he even had access to everyone at his workplaces emails) and he was particularly annoyed/threatened because you’re both male and we got along well, so he wanted that to be stopped immediately, but also to see that I wasn’t been favourable to you anymore. I’m sure that some of the damage I did there is probably permanent, and that’s totally okay, I just wanted to say sorry and explain. I’d also like to apologize to the whole forum, because there have been many times where I very poorly handled situations, which for one reason or another boiled down to my unstable mental state through all the above, and how cruel C had been to me on whichever day. There were many times where I got into serious trouble with him for spending so long on the forums, so if I ever just seemed to lose my patience and stop trying to solve an issue and just dish warnings out and call it job done, it was because I was trying to limit the amount of shouting C was doing. I’m sorry in general for anyone I’ve ever upset through that period of my life. I was so isolated, and any semblance of a friendship was quickly torn down by C so I know I will have hurt people’s feelings along the way. I’ll also apologize because I was inactive online and didn’t do much with the forum for a long time after I left C, but the fallout from living the way I did for so long was quite severe and took a lot of healing, and a lot of therapy. July 2015 to Jan 2016 was spent being the most depressed I’ve ever been – with an element of missing being abused, which is a hard thing to process, but that’s the best way I can put it, purely because it was my every day, my routine, all I knew, and it wasn’t there anymore and it was weird to deal with. I had a lot of therapy/assessments/medications during this time. Late 2015 to early 2016 I had a few relationships, which all failed, and I realised that I needed to be single, to learn to be me again, to do things on my own, to plan my future and to finally get better. So, I spent about a year working on myself, and even though my physical health got much worse, my mental health got so much better. I started dating my partner August 2017; studied at college from September 2017 to June 2018; had the PTSD therapy from January to July 2018. From then until now I have just been studying, working, spending time with my partner, and organizing my life. 2019 signalled that it was finally time to get back to the forum and make it what I always wanted it to be, not what C decided it should be. I’m not looking for anyone to be accepting these apologies, and I’m not looking for sympathy. I just, as always, would like to think that sharing my story might help someone else. Anyone who has suffered anything like this who is afraid to talk about it, I hope you get to a point in your life where you’re no longer scared, the way that I finally have. C can’t hurt me anymore. And even if he tried, I’m so happy with my life the way it is now, that I don’t think he’d be able to do much. Since I left him in mid-2015, I’ve been able to chase all my dreams and start making my goals happen. I’ve remembered that I’m optimistic, hopeful, a hard worker, ambitious and capable of happiness – and worthy of happiness and love. I’ve become a moderately successful automotive photographer, with companies sending me to cover shows. I’ve earned a level 3 diploma in art and design and am now studying for my degree. I’ve built and run many websites completely on my own. I’ve learned to drive, and I own a car. I have a loving boyfriend, who fully supports me and allows me my freedom. We have plans to buy a house together early next year. I have met so many people and made so many friends. I’ve travelled Europe, gone to Sweden twice and had many other small, UK holidays and trips. I’m genuinely living my best life, and I still have so many hopes and goals, that I know I can achieve, because I’m working my ass off for it all! Last year was my best year, that I’ve ever had, and I know this one will be even better.
  2. 8 points
    Update: two years on from surgery and I'm still cancer free
  3. 6 points
    Good evening everyone, So my name is Rhys, I’m 24 and Neurotypical. Some of you that follow @Willowsocial media’s etc might recognise me as being her partner. I thought it was about time I delved into the forum not only to help @Willowbut to chat and help if I can to the lovely people that call this place home :). Please feel free to ask questions to get to know me more and I’m sure we will all have a great time. Rhys
  4. 5 points
    I kinda' feel like Red from the Shawshank. On Asperclick, I've seen it all, done it all, said it all, and posted it all. Every friend I ever made on here left years ago, and likewise, every enemy I ever made on here tumbled into the well of obscurity, never to return again. The flame wars we had? I honestly couldn't tell you what either one of us said or why we were arguing. The friends I made? Who knows, they could me making millions or starving to death. I wouldn't know In 2013 I 'left the forum' - twice. Funny how I managed to be one of the last ones left in the foxhole. I left, but always came back. And to be honest, I'll probably be here until Willow is cashing her pension and I'm making reams of threads were I reply to myself thinking I'm someone else. Yeah... I guess commitment was always a strength of mine. The people I've met here have taught me SO much about Autism. The biggest lesson of course, is that every individual case is like a unique serial code. And no two combinations of numbers will ever match. I've come across shy, reserved, and introverted members. I've come across confident, outgoing and extroverted members, as well as every bespoke plethora of traits that they bring to the table, with some rare members falling into just about every category. If you're an Autistic worker , you SERIOUSLY missed a trick in not joining us. Because no book, degree, or academic construction will EVER be able to give you as much as we can. Sadly, advances in social media have kind of murdered platforms such as these. Yet still, I maintain the faith that we will continue on - we just need to be revolutionary. The ramblings of a madman, maybe. But there you go.
  5. 5 points
    As I said to somebody just now "if you can't face adversity, you might as well be dead" because life IS adversity - it's the tax we have to pay in order to live an interesting life - and let me tell you, that all of those years of sitting around in the house wearing shaggy clothing all day to please Cunt will be paid back to you 10 fold. Believe me, you have only just started to see how ambitious and hungry you are - because as you gain even more momentum over the next couple of years, life for you will just become one big playground, and the things you're passionate about will have you bouncing around like a child the night before Christmas. (We should all aim for this) Your past will just make you grateful for your present, and will have you bursting with excitement for your future - which to me, is the definition of success. It's not about money, possessions, or even how loved you are, it's all about personal gratitude, and how internally happy you feel. Now, it's a bit of a lame term, but there is some logic to the 'law of attraction'. It's not some spiritual God-like entity, it's simply a mindset that one talks themselves into everyday. Lay down one brick everyday, and eventually you'll build a castle - it's common sense. And don't worry, I didn't exactly help by being a douche back then. You know, people seem to have this nostalgic image of me being this charming guy. Nah man, I was a sarcastic douchebag. Lol But no, I understood. Although I did think depression was solely to blame. (I had no idea).
  6. 5 points
    I guess we’re a little bit interesting because we’ve both dated someone on and off the Autistic Spectrum, so we do have some grounds for making comparisons. Of course, we’d both need to date a lot of people on and off the spectrum to be able to make any real observations that are definitely because of Autism, rather than just the personality of that one person we dated. We’ve each been in two serious relationships, one with someone like ourselves (I with someone on the spectrum, Rhys with someone not) and one with each other. But here’s where it differs – the other people I have dated have all been off the spectrum, as have the other people Rhys has dated. I have found it easier to get along with people who are, for all intents and purposes, ‘normal’, or a kinder way to put it is ‘neurotypical’ (NT). I see that, on the whole, they are more sympathetic to my quirks, and easier for me to be around without adding to my anxiety. Though that’s not to say that there aren’t things that don’t agitate my anxiety, being with an NT person, but I just find those things easier to deal with. My longest relationship (and my first), was with someone on the spectrum – although I suspect there was more going on than just Asperger’s. This was a dark period of my life; he was the type of person who thrived off of putting someone else’s light out, making them live alone in the dark until they forgot who they used to be. It was never a good relationship, I just didn’t know any different. Therapy for the post-traumatic stress disorder showed me that it was worse than I thought it was, because it made me process everything fully and come to terms with those six years of my life. But I digress. Since that relationship, I dated a few guys, all firmly within the neurotypical category. I was largely hindered by PTSD symptoms and ran a million miles away when anyone did anything like my ex – but, I learnt to trust my instincts, and it’s working out pretty well so far. I found that my anxiety got a lot worse whenever they did things that reminded me of him, and in turn they couldn’t deal with my anxiety, and it snowballed a little until I decided it just wasn’t going to work out. If you can’t love me at my worst…thank u, next. I noticed that a lot of guys tried to change me – or ‘help me’ be more normal, rather than just letting me be me, and loving me for it. I don’t have problems that I need someone to fix, I’m a fixer, I’ll sort myself out. I need support, not pushing to be something they’d prefer me to be. They were quick to lose patience with my issues – issues that only seemed to be there because of them anyway. A few months was the most relationships would last before they grew tired of my shenanigans, and they realised that it just wasn’t worth the hassle, or I realised that they weren’t worth changing for…no one is! Rhys is different, he doesn’t seem phased by my quirks, and I have a lot less anxiety related issues because he’s not always pushing me or trying to change me, or nagging at me about my problems (except about my cluttered room, fight me bitch). I actually went to school with Rhys, but never stayed in touch. Until he slid into my DM’s, post breakup with six year guy (asl?). We were good friends, and a bit on an off, then he dumped me after a few months and I went on with my life and dated a bunch of guys. But we did stay in touch, as friends (and as ‘friends’). And then poof, one day we were just like…shit’s not working out with anyone else, you wanna be all official and stuff? And official we still are. He’s the most normal guy I’ve ever dated. He plays football and goes to the pub with his friends. Hello normal life, come at me bro. I attend football matches with him, and go to the pub afterwards, and he does weird stuff that I like to do, like go to stately homes, or camp in a field at a car show for a few days. Compromise is a wonderful thing. He supports me all the time, and he knows everything about me, so he’s always conscious of if something’s wrong and does his best to help. He’s super patient and easy going. He lets me have a life away from him, just like he has a life away from me. And it just works, without any anxiety or hassle. To conclude, I think that relationships largely boil down to the individual, and their personality, and their capacity to love a person no matter what. Sure, I had some nice relationships with other NT guys, but ultimately it wasn’t a good fit – though every relationship with an NT, no matter how short, was an immensely better fit than the one AS guy I dated. Take from that what you will (spoilers, he just wasn’t a nice person, AS or not).
  7. 5 points
    I have actually set aside the next 2 weeks to sort the forum out, so here's to many more years of Asperclick! Hopefully all my research and work will pay off and we'll be active again
  8. 4 points
    Hi everyone! I hope you’re all enjoying the new changes and features, I’m certainly a lot happier with how things are here and feel excited about the forum again, and enjoy being here and posting! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their continued support, some of you have been here from the start and are still posting, which is amazing! Regular posters are a huge part of a successful community, so thank you for being here. I hope Asperclick has been a positive part of your life, and can continue to be such as we move into the future. I understand that some of the limitations have been an issue for some members, which I do apologize for, but I couldn’t keep facilitating unlimited amounts of data - be it with picture uploads, unused accounts or PM inboxes, because after 6 years it was really stacking up and I’d already had to upgrade my hosting plan once to accommodate everything. So to save on costs, I limited things and it made sense for the subscribers to be entitled to unlimited storage since that money can help fund the forum, and if enough people subscribe we could afford the upgraded hosting fees. I know that it seems unfair for there to suddenly be a subscriber option that costs money, but the forum is still free to use with almost all the capability that you’ve had for the last 6 years. I’m never going to make it a paid only site, and with the current subscribers we have so far, I’ll hopefully never have to close it down either. With all of that said, I am posting to ask for your feedback now that the bulk of the changes have been live for almost a week. What do you like? What don’t you like? Do you feel something is unfair? (If so, what would help justify it to you?) I don’t want anyone feeling annoyed with me so if I can explain something to you to help you understand, please let me know, in a polite way!
  9. 4 points
    For me, you don't need explain or justify yourself and I don't think you need to apologise to anyone. But if that's what you wanted/needed to do for yourself, that's fine I'll always support you no matter what, I think that's the same for most people here. I'm just glad all of that is over now and you're happy. I'm glad you feel able to continue with the forum too. I think it'd be easy to just drop the forum as it might have had bad associations from that time in your life. I think it was unlucky that you & I were both having really bad times at the same time and I think they sometimes crossed (I feel like apologising too sometimes), but I'm just happy we're both doing so much better xxx
  10. 4 points
    I can scarcely believe I'll have been posting here six years in October. Thank you to each and every person who's taken the time to support me over the years. I realise I haven't always been the most positive influence on the forum, but I appreciate everything you've done for me. Cheers.
  11. 3 points
    So what’s new? First and foremost, the site has been reorganized, with less forum sections for topics to fit into, giving it a cleaner and easier to use feel. We used to have: We now have: All topics from the old style have been manually reshuffled into the appropriate new forum sections. As a general rule, all topics from the following old sections, are now in the following new sections: - ‘Introductions’, ‘Back After A Break’, ‘Wait, Who Is That?’ and ‘Meeting In Real Life’ > Introduce Yourself - ‘Help, Support & Advice’ (from Koby’s Clubhouse), ‘Symptoms, Issues & Oddities’, ‘Diagnosis Stories & Progress’ and ‘Meltdowns & Panic Attacks’ > Symptoms & Diagnosis - ‘Tips & Workarounds’, ‘Resources’ and ‘Ask An Aspie’ > Help & Resources - ‘Making & Keeping Friends’, ‘Romantic Relationships’ and ‘Family’ > Friendships & Relationships - ‘Education & Working Life’ and ‘Medication & Therapy’ remain the same - ‘General Asperger’s Talk’ manually dispersed relevantly between all other forum sections. - ‘General Discussion’, ‘News, Articles & Interesting Links’, ‘Movies & TV’, and ‘Gaming’ > General Discussion - ‘Chatter’ (From Koby’s Clubhouse), ‘Random Chit Chat’, ‘Forum Games’, ‘Aspie Related Polls’ and ‘General Nosiness Polls’ > Chit Chat & Games - ‘Debates’ and ‘Ranting’ (from Koby’s Clubhouse) > Debates & Ranting - ‘Updates & Rules’ and ‘WillowHope News’ > Updates & Rules - ‘Feedback’ and ‘Suggestions’ (from Koby’s Clubhouse) > Feedback Reputation Changes The reactions have changed and we now only have: Like > +1 rep point Thanks > +1 rep point Haha > no rep points given Sad > no rep points given And the reputation system now looks like this: Old Name | Newbie | 0 points | New Name | Red Old Name | Neutral | 500 points | New Name | Orange Old Name | Friendly | 1500 points | New Name | Yellow Old Name | Honored | 3000 points | New Name | Green Old Name | Revered | 6000 points | New Name | Blue Old Name | Exalted | 10000 points | New Name | Indigo The new name reflects the colour that gets added to your rainbow when you move up a rank. Member Groups Admin – remains unchanged Founder – remains unchanged Finding My Feet – members with under 100 posts Member – members with over 100 posts Know My Way Around – members with over 1000 posts Asperclicker – paid subscribers We no longer have Koby’s Friend or Honorary Members – the members in those groups have been moved into the relevant groups above. All member accounts have been pruned to remove any spam accounts or accounts that never activated through email. Regular Member Animated profile photo - No Club types they can create - open Number of clubs they can manage - 2 Reactions per day - 50 PM’s they can start per day - 5 PM storage - 20 conversations Edit own content - For 30 mins Asperclicker Animated profile photo - Yes Club types they can create - Open, Private Number of clubs they can manage - 5 Reactions per day - Unlimited PM’s they can start per day - Unlimited PM storage - Unlimited Edit own content - For 2 hours Asperclicker’s can also access the Asperclicker’s Lounge where there is exclusive content and giveaways. They can also send a PM to an unlimited amount of recipients, as oppose to a normal member who is restricted to 5 recipients per PM. Store Feature We now have a store, where you can purchase merchandise, a monthly subscription or make a donation. This is all handled in house, on Asperclick, for the first time ever. You can see at the top of the home page how much we need to make to cover the running costs for the year, this amount will automatically adjust itself when donations are made. The subscription service is £5 per month, and you can subscribe for as little or as long as you like, but you will only enjoy the benefits for as long as you keep your subscription, otherwise you will be returned to your previous member group. Blog/Sister Site You will see the new link in the navigation bar for ‘Blog’. This is a sister site I have set up where I will blog and post articles relevant to the forum, I will also keep it up to date with the top picks and go into a bit more detail about what’s been chosen and why. Email Newsletter I will be publishing a regular newsletter, probably bi-monthly for a while as a trial, where I will look into latest topics, highest posters etc., and highlight the best bits of the forum. Make sure you are opted in to receive emails in your settings. Other Changes to Note There have been many other small changes, here’s a few more obvious ones: - Content with over 10 likes will now be highlighted - There will only be 10 topics/replies shown per page (it was 25 before) - You will be required to choose or create a tag for a new topic - There will be an indepth ‘how to’ video posted within the next week, which will be useful for new members but may also refresh the memories of our existing members, on how to get the best from Asperclick. - Username changes are now unavailable, this is to keep things familiar and help other members. If you do require a name change, I can still do it manually for you. I ask that you try to keep your names simple as it helps the other forum users to recognise and refer to you.
  12. 3 points
    Hello guys, So Willow has mentioned to me before that people often ask her what is it like to be in a relationship with someone who is Neurotypical, and that she finds it difficult to answer or is unsure of how to answer people, so i was thinking did anyone have any questions that i could answer, just to give people the opportunity to ask an NT which maybe they've never had the chance to do. Ask away and ill answer the best i can Rhys
  13. 3 points
    Have not been back on here since 2014. I thought it was dead the forum.
  14. 3 points
    I'm so sorry to hear you suffered through all of that while everyone was oblivious. Looking back now, it does make sense. I remember years ago there was a vlog where he drove off in the middle of nowhere, then came back a few minutes later. At first it looked like a joke, but then your reaction... part of me did wonder if you might have been trying to tell us something, but I remembered you mentioning separation anxiety, and was naïve about how these kinds of relationships worked back then. I doubt anyone here would feel that you owe them an apology, knowing all that you've been through. If anything, I owe you an apology for being gullible enough to believe his assurance that he wasn't hacking into PMs the day he took over the forum. Full respect to you for being strong enough to leave him and come out the other side as a stronger person. It's great that you're thriving creatively again, and I wish you the best of luck with all of your projects.
  15. 3 points
    Hi Willow, sounds like you've been through some really rough times. I'm glad you're through it and flourishing again. You've always sounded like someone with a lot of drive and ambition to pull off projects that others can only dream about or procrastinate over. The world will be a better place for whatever you accomplish in your life, there'll be plenty it seems. On a personal level I've checked in occasionally from time to time, but as Aspies we all have our rather niche interests so I don't find much to post on - although you may be glad of that if I get started on politics/religion. So I drifted away somewhat - I'm already surrounded by Aspies in the world of Scrabble. But I'll keep passing by from time to time. I'm generally around, somewhere, and quick to reply to PMs. As for me, well I have a girlfriend in Toronto. I've been there and back twice, she's been here once. I'm writing a program or two (cricket game in javascript), playing Scrabble not as well as I used to, organising dozens of tournaments and moved house 3 weeks ago.
  16. 3 points
    I'm just at in bed with candles lit, tweaking the forum and thinking of things to do for the week
  17. 3 points
    I enjoy the changes a lot. I think the best part of these 2019 changes is having @Willow back on the forum more and feel with these changes, they have brought a fresh feel to the forum and made it more enjoyable to be a part of. I don't have too much to say, I can't think of any criticisms. I like the forum and am happy to see a lot of familiar faces and some new ones as well.
  18. 3 points
    You NEED to be happy on your own before you can commit to a relationship. You can’t place your happiness in another person, because then if they leave, so does your happiness.
  19. 3 points
    They do say that when you meet your own reflection in someone else that you have met the person you should marry, so I remain open to that. But I won't go looking. I'm happy.
  20. 3 points
    I tried to reply to this the other day but there seem to be some glitches in some topics. I'm sure its just down to Willows tweaks on the site. I joined the site, the very same month it was started up, I think on day 19 although I was looking at it for at least a week first. I found it because I had seen Willows youtube advert of it, I think within 24 hours of her uploading it, so I was probably reading the posts in the first few days. I'm someone who likes to weigh things up a lot first. That means that there was something I liked about the place, so I came up with a new username, came up with HalfFull because it sums up my approach to life and joined up. Once I get into something its very hard for me to let go. I used to come on here every day and wasn't sure what to do instead if I didn't come on. The only reason I don't do so daily now is that there wasn't much new content, but I'm hoping the site is now getting a revival with Willows overhaul. When I think of some of the people who have been around on here a lot who no longer post or even visit it seems a real shame. I'm not going to try to conjure up all the usernames as it wouldn't be fair on anyone I miss out. Its just the nature of any site. I guess usually something changes, there have been a lot of changes to the site over the years but peoples circumstances change too, above all probably less time online due to a change of home, job, computer, partner etc etc. Its certainly good to see a few people still here from very early on. Ben, Sofi and Heather I think go back to almost the very beginning, and anyone else who joined in 2013 who is still posting its nice to see that they are still on here but I won't list anyone else in case I miss someone out. It was nice to see Mrs Spiderwoman the other day though Obviously many thanks go to Willow. The site has had a lot of ups and downs, but I know from experience that running a site is not always easy, and you have actually created something great here to be proud of.
  21. 3 points
    Hello to all, I was once a VERY active user on here but, depression and life got in the way. I'd like to come back though, if it's alright to you lot. And to those who remember me... you have hell heading your way (tune related)
  22. 3 points
    Its hard to answer that, they're no big differences in my opinion between dating an aspie. Willow has some weird habbits, for example she collects a lot of stuff...and i mean a lot, she also puts up a fight whenever i suggest throwing some stuff away to create room to atleast breathe . I'm not sure if her weird little habbits are due to her being an aspie or if they're just weird traits she has. An aspie definitely dwells a lot more on things, whether they be good or bad, which can be annoying at times for obvious reasons. But personality is a huge factor in all of this, if anything its the most important factor...it can determain a lot of things. I hope this has answered at least some of what you asked Rhys
  23. 3 points
    A new era has begun...
  24. 3 points
    You might also notice that @Rhys is an administrator. I’m going to be showing him the ropes this week so he’ll be a fully trained member of the team. He’s also our first NT moderator/regular poster that we’ve ever had, so that will be interesting for everyone!
  25. 3 points
    Yay 6 years of Asperclick ! I'm looking forward to the updates


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