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  1. Peridot

    Peridot

    Asperclicker


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    Dr-David-Banner

    Know My Way Around


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  3. Aspie.Iris

    Aspie.Iris

    Finding My Feet


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  4. collectingrocks

    collectingrocks

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 05/20/2019 in all areas

  1. 4 points
    This is something very personal and it is very sad to lose someone whom you thought was a friend and could confide and trust in Perhaps you friend felt "scared off" and doesn't know how to communicate with you any more...or trying to process what you said? Give it time and if nothing changes then yes, move on. That friend was merely superficial and not worthy of your friendship any more
  2. 2 points
    hello I'm a 31 year old female that lives in Georgia. I was diagnosed with autism back in 2014. I have difficulty making friends.im looking to meet some new people and make some friends.
  3. 2 points
    When a friendship ends it's of course painful when it's a betrayal. I've had this too a few years ago where two friendships went sour. But we need to be with the people we are supposed to be with and not the people we aren't supposed to be with. That's the way it is, I'm sure you'll agree. I'd say leave school altogether as it's a toxic environment. But if you continue to go, then just treat the girl in neutral way. Just move on... It isn't worth putting lots of energy into as it wouldn't be productive. Hope you feel better soon.
  4. 2 points
    As a teen on the spectrum I need help and support, one of the reasons why I’m here, but I can’t seem to find any help in person
  5. 1 point
    I had to agree with George. Just it is now much worse than the time when he had a dig. I know it's easy to appear negative or stuck in the past, but modern pop simply all sounds the same. Most of it is dominated by rap where the performers rely on high tech mixing and audio software but can't play a lick. Not even an authentic drum roll. Contrast that with the New Orleans jazz bands even in the fifties who all played great sax, cool guitar and real percussion. What George started to point out was that, even 12 years ago, somehow the public became far less critical, less inclined to see new trends in the pop industry be it punk, flower power or new wave. To put it mildly I find 90 per cent of modern pop and rock boring, repetitive, fake and synthetic. Harrison went further calling modern pop "a pollution". Except to be truthful, modern pop no longer exists and I find DJs keep playing far older bands like The Bee Gees, The Police, M Jackson. Many theories abound and even a book written on the decline of pop. What emerges is (1) Digital I.T. allowed millions of people to produce popular music which sort of drowned out the former elite. You didn't need to be signed by a label and standards fell. Add to that, to the public ear, software streamed digital audio and autotune sounds good enough - no need to learn real lead guitar, piano or bass, sax or percussion. Of course this affected sales and the industry. Bands like Genesis were paid for sales of CD and vinyl but had to compete in terms of quality to sell albums. Now, all you have is free downloads. No paid performances on Top Of The Pops. No all girl dance groups like Pans People. No ranked top 40 topped by talented songwriters like Abba. The huge irony for me is that electronic music peaked and enhanced pop in the 80s with Roland synths being played skillfully. I guess when it finally got to software production, this attracted a larger pool of aspiring musicians who had never been exposed to authentic music. The easy option took over and record labels crashed out, as did the charts and the big rock bands. I wonder if real rock and pop will ever return or are we doomed to mediocrity and conformity for the coming decades.
  6. 1 point
    Hi @renee87 and welcome. I hope you will meet new friends here
  7. 1 point
  8. 1 point
    Please be warned its a very intense survey. It was upsetting for me - I didnt realise how much it would be so based on the disclaimer. I wouldnt have done it in hindsight. Everyone is different, just have to further forewarn @StarlessEclipse the info says it is for any adult with a normal IQ It does seem very bias towards more stereotypical and male autism traits though
  9. 1 point
  10. 1 point
    Well, a declining ability to empathize would be odd to me because I think that if you are autistic this inability would have been a constant. I think the opposite where the empathy increases over time would be more probable in the case of autism. But that's just what I think. I am not an expert. I think a diagnosis might be helpful as it may e.g. show your wife the root cause (in the case you are autistic) which would provide clarity. Anyway, welcome on here and I hope either the problems in your marriage get fixed or, in the case it ends, that you are able to cope emotionally during the divorce and eventually are able to move on.
  11. 1 point
    Hi Guys, so as you can tell from the title, my good friend from the past about one and a half years stopped hanging out with me and started hanging out with another girl after I trusted her with my diagnosis. I think this is because of my diagnosis but I am not really a person to trust with social skills anyway, what should I do? I am in a small school where I can’t really avoid her- How should I handle this? Please help!
  12. 1 point
    Hi @Aspie.Iris I experienced a quite similar situation, when I was a teenager. My "best friend" knew my Asperger's from the beginning of our friendship, but one day, in an argument, he said to me that he didn't invited me to a party because he could feel ashamed of me, and that my autism is really a big problem... So I can completely understand your pain. What did I do afterwards ? I just stopped talking to him. Fortunately, we weren't in the same highschool. I agree with @Peridot. Move on ! I know it's hard to think it when you're surrounded by people who don't accept your difference and when you're all alone but you will see, when you will grow up, you will find people who truly accept who you are, with your Asperger's. To tell you, I've really found true friends after highschool. So be brave ! Time will be your friend. I hope you will feel better soon
  13. 1 point
    I was watching this video on YouTube, where this girl with AS talks about how she acts Neurotypical to try and fit into society, and how much of a struggle it is trying to fit in with Neurotypical people and how tiring it is trying to act like someone else. It got me thinking, everyday of my life, I have to act 'Neurotypical' but ultimately fail at doing so, trying to understand jokes - sometimes pretending I do, trying to stay chatty and talk about uninteresting things, even trying to smile for extended periods of time sometimes, does anyone else try to act Neurotypical?
  14. 1 point
    Welcome, Iris.
  15. 1 point
    Hi, I am Iris. I just recently got my diagnosis and am looking for online support since I live in a rural area with limited support. I enjoy Art, Theater, Music, Fishing, Hunting, Trapping, and Animals (chickens)
  16. 1 point
    Psychologists ought to consider how music can be used to evaluate social development. Plus the effect it may have on us. What modern pop tells me at a quick glance is (1) it is not changing or evolving and (2) the mass population is playing basically the same material. So it points to conservatism and conformity. I am sure there will be musicians around today with creative talent but they cannot be in any way popular as society is too "stuck in one groove". Would Jimmy Hendrix make it on X Factor or get huge downloads from public mobile phones? I very much doubt it. Speaking of Jimmy, he was typical of the sixties music scene, doing stuff differently and "feeling" his guitar. Setting new trends and pushing the boundaries. So the sixties generation appreciated change and new experiences. They protested policies, searched for deeper meaning and followed music as a form of expression and shaking off conservatism. I'm really not afraid to bash modern music. I don't care if people accuse me of being somehow "out of touch". I think George Harrison as an ex Beatle had every right to react critically. Had John Lennon survived to this modern era I think he'd have been saddened. Lennon did predict rock and roll would die out. He hated it when the early Beatles had to wear suits and ties. Seeing music turned into a quick sales global market simply removed grass root art from the working classes or social outsiders. The only positive is there's lots of great music to dig back to. From Louisiana jazz to progressive there are some great bands of bygone years.
  17. 1 point
    Hi @Alice Thank you for this article. It's interesting. As for me, I always had troubles to make friends. When I was a child, I used to begin my school year with one or two mates (girls) and to finish the year alone. Now, I've got a few friends with whom I feel good. I fear to give my trust to bad people, what I used to do when I was younger. That's why I've become more selective. The most frustating experiences are when I want to be friend with a girl but I don't know how to do and finally, I don't have any occasions to do it anymore. Otherwise, I find that it's easier to be friend with boys than girls.
  18. 1 point
    Yeah, you've made a brilliant point actually - hadn't thought of it myself until now. X Factor is oppressive and YET ANOTHER one of life's box ticking exercises - which of course, has absolutely no place within the confines of creativity. I honestly hate what it stands for and promotes, and to be honest, I hate most modern day music. The indies has the odd diamond in the rough, but they'll never be aloud to come to fruition. George really came on leaps and bounds by the White Album/Abbey Road era - and I liked this first album even more than John's first in some ways - let's not forget that John IS about as good as they'll ever come, so what I say is a huge credit to George. I actually loved how unassuming and peaceful George was, he was ALL about the craft. He hated fame. Cheers for the recommendations
  19. 1 point
    For quality pop music to even exist there has to be a certain level of culture. The music being "popular" will then reflect that culture. I truly believe pop music is a useful measuring tool of culture as it is. The less advanced it becomes, the more we will hear 85 per cent drum (boom boom, boom boom, and plenty of swearing and lyrics to do with crack cocaine. Nothing new - you hear it all the time. It may possibly vary geographically but in my area there is simply no interest. I meet people all the time in shops or supermarkets and there is no way to discuss music. People are totally fixated on work, family and (very definitely) mobile phone videos and so on. Without a shadow of a doubt, I maintain if I had a time machine and zapped back to 1968, I could chat to lots of people locally about music. In fact, The Rolling Stones did a local gig here in the early sixties to a packed audience. Girls would scream wildly. There were small psychedelic bars where kids just listened to rock bands and toyed with the odd "upper". It went so far that the guys had rock star haircuts or posters on bedroom walls. Most towns had huge record stores and full of people leafing through them. Why then has music today become so unimportant to the population? Part of it is probably economics. Most people are more occupied by work and bogged down in family life. Unemployment is high. I would go so far as to say The Tories have prioritised labour over arts while further education and arts have wilted. Mobile phone and social media is also quite addictive and generally people go out and mix less. And finally this is currently neither a musical or militant population. Not only is music unimportant to them but also militant issues like social justice or even old concerns such as fox hunting. This leaves the would-be rock or pop musician in an awful fix. Like trying to plant a tree in a desert.
  20. 1 point
    I once saw this 16 year old girl dance to this Top 40 type hip-hop "gangsta" or "playa" music as if she was in some ecstatic state. It was like seeing a beautiful girl enjoy a shower while there's toxic sludge coming out of the showerhead.
  21. 1 point
    Just an anecdote about George Harrison: Late in the sixties he decided to go to San Francisco to meet head on the hippy and flower children who had San Francisco as their capital. George was pretty stoned as he arrived but full of expectation. San Francisco was the base of big psychedelic bands such as Jefferson Airplane or Janis Joplin. George was to be bitterly disappointed. The Beatle fans in S.F. struck Harrison as bums and drug addicts and not particularly inspiring people. Harrison was so disappointed he soon decided to quit LSD and turn to transcendental meditation instead. My bet is George suddenly got a whole new insight into music. Probably he realised a lot of Beatle fans were simply following a trend mainly due to "popularity". When you really do love creativity through music, you follow a band for the way it moves you personally. So often the masses will just follow the herd and want to be seen to be "in" on the fashion. Once The Beatles truly split, it seems both George and John got wiser and more cynical. George did a few solo albums but became very private and quiet. None of The Beatles offspring have really managed to make any impact, except Julian Lennon in the eighties. Sean Lennon did the odd non mainstream album.
  22. 1 point
    I will touch on this point of talent shows you raised Ben. I read not long ago children are scared to sing in public for fear of being ridiculed and humiliated. This is due to shows like X Factor. Kids associate the effort of trying to sing with possible humiliation and so-called experts on X Factor pulling faces. Little wonder! The process of learning to play guitar or do vocals means we "all" will sound like hell sometimes. Dwelling on it will clearly scare kids away from enjoying music and giving time to time. Speaking from experience I have sung tracks I wrote, recorded it and sounded awful (many times). Through further experience I learned to change key altogether or try a whole new approach. I researched the subject and found a helpful and positive musician on YouTube who explains we can all sing. If you can talk, you can sing. People have been singing for centuries, at schools, funerals and in the bath. So really, X Factor is on a negative agenda because, in truth, lots of successful rock and pop singers would sound pretty basic if you take away the backing music. John Lennon once stated George Harrison was a poor vocalist for some time and worked hard to improve. Pop singers were never expected to be either virtuosos or on a par with Pavorotti. Many times I noticed singers who left something to be desired just "go for it" on Top Of The Pops and nobody cared less - just danced. I would never pull faces or make fun out of someone singing or playing. I would suggest ways to bring out their range and key. I also prefer to hear an authentic voice than autotune which I see as an easy option. On sixties music - agreed. Check out The Californians, Fire and The Flowerpot Men. Great vocals and great sound.
  23. 1 point
    I only really listen to 60's music. I don't care what anyone says, The Beatles, Small Faces, Manfred Mann, Jimi Hendrix and Janis just aren't going to be matched by anything that has been produced since 1975 onwards, besides Paul Weller and Amy - of course. John Lennon's voice when The Beatles performed Twist and Shout at the 1963 Royal Variety Performance is without doubt the best voice I'll ever hear. Vocals will NEVER get better than that. I wonder what George would make of talent shows and the rubbish on Radio 1? "I paved the way for this load of shite?"
  24. 1 point
    "when they complain or are nostalgic when it comes to the past which was somehow better than the present...." We have eras in music. The 1940s is a bit distant for me so I don't know much about that period. The 1950s saw the arrival of rock and roll. To be honest, I wasn't keen on Elvis /or even Jerry Lee Lewis but have sometimes seen jazz bands of the 1950s and was impressed. Most were black jazz musicians in the USA. The sixties, I see as the most creative era of all - starting from 1966 perhaps. Pop and rock at that time was huge in cultural terms and this is a point I'd like to stress. It also went beyond music to the "counter culture" phenomenon. The 1970s to my mind was essentially O.K. but did lack the imagination of the sixties. You had the advent of disco and funk. The 1980s I view as odd somehow since I find the song-writing ability of many groups was really good and there were some great synth sounds that emerged. However, eighties music was just good music with no real cultural message or deeper meaning. There was talent however. What happened in 2000 and onwards and why single it out as "barren"? Well, as you can see above, my opinion varies from era to era. It is only "this" era that I come down on hard. Plus one big point I'd like to stress is when I try to chat to everyday people on the street about rock or pop, there is no response or interest. It doesn't trigger any reaction. People will talk about DIY or their work but, at least where I live, never music. And that's not the end of it.... Go to any large supermarket and the music being played is just awful in the sense it has no guts or authenticity or anything inspired. Go into the street, and all you get is rap which is all doing the same thing to the same auto drum beat and overkilled bass. To my mind, pop music when done well includes the following: (1) Melody, harmony, harmony and melody (I think it was Brian Wilson who stressed that. (2) Authenticity. The whole magic of pop and rock and roll was that the people who created it were genuinely expressing their own talents. They were never virtuosos or classically trained or brilliantly trained vocalists. They tended to learn various instruments at a basic, but acceptable level. It was grass roots music. Modern pop is not grass roots music but establishment music churned out purely to make a little cash. Purely "commercial". (3) Message. The very best pop tended to have a social message. In the late sixties, this was the hippy movement where people tried to be more at harmony and think more about deeper issues. Music can be a really powerful cultural force - a far cry from the shallow, synthetic, background mass reproduction of the modern era. I dislike 90 per cent of modern music so much I just download all much older material. Below, a band from the eighties I used to go and see perform in a pub full of about 15 spectators. The lead singer was really talented, did the vocals and lead guitar. Fire Clown.
  25. 1 point
    Sometimes I feel like I am close to people, but then something will happen and I realise that maybe they've just been tolerating certain parts of me and I wonder how close I really am to them. And that can make me feel alone
  26. 1 point
    Yes, and I've always felt that way. I can't connect and tap into a friend group, and I don't fit in. It's like I'm behind a glass wall. People connect by sharing emotions. When they talk, they aren't just communicating in words, but also in emotions, and they use both verbal and non-verbal language to do so. I'm receptive only the the words and get little of this emotional to and fro, so for me, It's just like watching TV.
  27. 1 point
    I don't think there's a real escape from it. It's just the way life is. I think a lot of people are kind of "mindless" and they make a lot of noise and to them life "just makes sense" and everything is to be taken for granted. If you're like that then you're going to be acting a certain way but if you're an actual person with feelings and thoughts and opinions then life tends to be a certain way where you feel and think all sorts of things and it's not necessarily easy. I don't have any "friends" at the moment meaning I have zero companions. I work alone and I live alone but I don't feel isolated. If I were to spend time with people I'm not supposed to be with I would feel lost and alone like in a desert far from home. If I was to spend time with people I am supposed to spend time with I'd be more balanced but that "being alone" would still be there. Life works a certain way and it's just the way it is. Here's a good song... Nevermind the ultra long, 20+ second intro and gaming footage.
  28. 1 point
    I'm not sure what to do, I really need some advice. I've come to care for someone a lot. Someone that always gets me though dark places and has giving me their everything these last few months. Now its not romantic or even a relationship, I think if I really wanted it can be and and a part of my would like to try. But she's not like anyone else and I know in myself I'm not good enough. And I'm fine with that. But she's going away possibly to start her new life and where she's going I'm scared for her, I want everything to workout for her more then anything. But a part of me also feels heartbroken that we won't be there for each other everyday anymore. Is that selfish, because my only goal is for her to find her happiness. How do I accept this chapter of my life with her will end now possibly? When it hurts so much?
  29. 1 point
    Just woke up feeling super lonely.
  30. 1 point
    I can't try to act Neurotypical. I honestly don't know how some people do it. My brain is too overcome by just being... Autistic, I can't pretend. I used to try a bit and tried to copy how other girls stood like and what they said in conversations, but it was still far too hard and I still stood out as being awkward because it wasn't natural. It must be difficult to act like that every day. Also, I don't want to act Neurotypical, I just want to be me even if it is Autistic, but just not in bad ways and causing problem.
  31. 1 point
    I have this feeling that I'll always be lonely, without friends or a partner. I know my social skills have improved, but I still don't know how to make friends. I don't have any friends whatsoever outside of the internet and it's starting to get to me. Normally when I mention these things to people, they just tell me to get over it or tell me to leave the house and meet people. I've tried to get out, but it's hard to find any kind of help or even a place to go to when you always live in small towns.
  32. 1 point
    Same here! No real friends apart from online. I feel lonely most days mainly when I read about people I use to go to school with always doing things with there friends. I to live in a small village and half of it is taken over my older people. You are not alone!
  33. 1 point
    I understand. You sound very similar to me in this way, and I know it can be really upsetting. I don't have any friends at all outside of the internet either - all the friendships I have had outside of the internet have been mainly with neurotypical girls and they have ended badly, due to the way I am and my lack of social skills in a friendship, I guess. They have often said I am domineering and they can't deal with my 'mood swings' as they put it. I felt as if my autism caused the friendships to fail and I have felt anger towards having autism. I know it is extremely difficult to try to get out, to meet people. The thought of that scares me senseless! So, I definitely can't give you a magic solution to this. I don't believe there is one. These things take a lot of time. But, please, don't give up. I know it feels like that and I, too, feel as if I have given up recently too. I lost the last 'real life' friend I had in January and I just felt horrible. I knew she was the last one and I was kind of waiting for her to ditch me and, yes, she did! In no uncertain terms. However, internet friends is no bad thing. For people like us on the spectrum, it is definitely a positive thing, it is so much easier to talk online and communicate things you'd otherwise not be able to say out loud. Internet friends are also not limited to the internet. If you get to know someone well enough, you can meet them in person and it'll probably be easier even then because you know a lot about them. I don't know if you've met friends off the internet before? I have met a few friends I made online, in person and it's definitely easier. Please don't give up. You are in a good place here, on this forum, where I'm sure you will meet like-minded friends. You did the right thing by posting here
  34. 0 points
    It's been a while, but here we go... I've just returned from a school trip where I've got a lot closer to many people on it. Leant more about them, really. Anyway, I didn't even know this, but there's this one person in my class who is Autistic. Let's call him Mike. Anyway, he has a bit of an obsession for My Little Pony (admittedly, I did know this, but would never have made any links like some people do because that would be stupid - you can like My Little Pony if you are NT!). Long story short, people are so supportive of him (they know that he has Autism), which is nice, to be honest. They make him feel no different to anyone else in the class. Now focus on my other friend (although I'm not really friends with Mike, to be honest). Let's call this friend Tom. He is Autistic, and I know this. So does everyone else. Anyway, people bully him really bad. And I've only really noticed this recently. He loves books, but people just mock him about this. He fell down the stairs at school a while back and broke his leg. People just laughed and spread a rumour that he was reading at the time and slipped. Let me tell you, I was there and this was not the case. Anyway, I just find it infuriating that people claim to be supportive of Autism, saying "we support Mike, don't we?" And then go onto bullying Tom. Is this common or has anyone ever experienced anything like this? Tom doesn't really seem to bothered in the slightest about anything anyone says (which is good) but I can't help feeling bad for him.


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