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  1. Willow

    Willow

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  2. Nesf

    Nesf

    Know My Way Around


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  3. Tylermc

    Tylermc

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    Miss Chief

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/22/2018 in all areas

  1. 9 points
    Thank you for asking. I have been 'cancer free' or in remission/no evidence of disease since the surgery and treatment, with a good prognosis and life expectancy. There are a good few years left in me yet
  2. 8 points
    Hi everyone, Of all the places on the internet, this is the one I always feel the least welcome in. But even so, I wanted to post an update. Over the last 6 months or so a lot has happened in my life, and I've not physically or mentally been well enough to keep on top of everything, so I'm sorry about that - at the very least I should have tried to find someone to look after the forum for me until I was able to. I have, over the past week, redesigned my website, ran updates here on the forum (which include altering the way the forum auto archives threads, so less threads will be locked now, and those that were locked, have been unlocked so long as they are under 2 years old and have more than 10 replies. I have also pinned @Nesf's 'cooling down' thread, in the Koby's Clubhouse forum, and will try and temp lock threads that are volatile and redirect them to the cooling down thread, and unlock the original thread after 24 hours or so). I've also made the vast majority of my YouTube videos public again, and have made some new ones. I have deleted a few videos, which were solely about me and my ex, but I have used some of the footage to make a few montage videos, just for old times sake. I'm currently studying at college and will be starting at University in September, though this is a huge strain on my health but they are very supportive so I hope to be able to manage. Health wise, I have fibromyalgia, which my doctor is struggling to treat as I seem to be in a permanent 'flare up', so am constantly in pain and struggle to do even basic things most days (typing is particularly difficult for me at the moment). I also have an under active thyroid, which is being treated, but some negative effects are still persisting. I'm also finally in therapy for the PTSD which I have from my relationship with my ex - which is why I was finally able to tackle my YouTube channel, because I have the right support in place to deal with any issues that looking through videos of him throws up. Now that I am in therapy, I feel able to do this again - and by this I mean, my YouTube channel, this forum, everything that I used to do alongside, and under the watchful eye of, my ex; I finally feel like I am strong enough to get back to doing what I started long before I was with him. And it's about f**king time! Love always, Willow
  3. 5 points
    You should never feel unwelcome here . I know everyone understands and supports you. Love you! xxx
  4. 5 points
    I don't think you actually are unwelcome. Some people were frustrated by your absence, for what (now that you've explained them) were perfectly understandable reasons. Setting aside your ownership of the site, I think your posts are generally thoughtful, detailed and helpful, and I'm sure most here would agree. I hope college and university go well for you. My own mental health struggles have completely destroyed the experience for me lately, though hopefully I'll permanently back on track by September. Anyway, it's good to hear that your therapy has been helpful and to have you back on the forum.
  5. 5 points
    I think a lot of online bullying is done by people who lack empathy. They don't care how their words affect someone. A lot of these people are internet trolls too. I read that a lot of internet trolls are narcissists, psychopaths, and sadists. This would explain why they don't have empathy for others and could care less about how their words might hurt someone. I see this thing a lot on the rare occasions when I check out 4chan. They're really mean to each other and call each other faggots and other names. I just don't get it. Some people might be able to brush off mean comments, but for me they can be very hurtful. At least my ritalin makes me feel more social and less scared of mean comments. It helps me to not feel so anxious and worried to comment on websites and I can express myself more easily. Unfortunately the positive effects I get from ritalin don't last long.
  6. 5 points
    Thankfully I'm not lactose-intolerant. Baked potatoes with baked beans and no cheese? This is a nice little map on lactose-intolerance:
  7. 5 points
    You do have a point there. Unfortunately, it is the rich who are the policy makers and they are completely out of touch with how the rest of us live. I still think that people on low incomes, and those who are unemployed or disabled should have access to medical care. I think that as a society we do have an obligation to look after those less fortunate.
  8. 5 points
    Suicide isn't wrong. To commit suicide is the wrong decision often times though. I recently heard this interview with someone who's job it is to clean up the tracks after someone jumped in front of a train. He said it takes three hours in most cases to clean everything up. He also said that because he had seen what the impact of the train does to a person he would never commit suicide by jumping in front of a train.
  9. 5 points
    I didn't reply to this for a while because I don't know that I am the right person to help in this situation, like most on the spectrum I struggle to offer comfort and tend to look for practical solutions and I am not sure that is what is needed here but also you and I have had our differences at times, although I do feel that I have also tried to help too in the past but I wasn't sure that I am the right person to post here. However, @Gone home while I think what you are trying to do is perhaps from your perspective helpful, tough love type thing, I think you are the wrong person to do it here, given the history, I think it would be better not to post here. I also don't entirely agree with your points, the main one I disagree with (although there are quite a few) is that you can just chose not to focus on the negative, I used to think that until I got clinical depression and it was only after that diagnosis that I discovered it really isn't that simple, sometimes you just feel shitty for no reason and other times you feel numb, this isn't a matter of focusing on the positives, it is a chemical imbalance and you just feel bad even if nothing bad is happening. I am not a negative person and I am certainly not an attention seeker but sometimes I just don't want to exist anymore. Now I would never end my life because I couldn't do that (I know this because I have given it quite a lot of thought over the years) but I do understand why people might want to. Also we have to remember that @RiRi is in the US where everything costs money, there is very little free help available for medical or mental issues and even getting benefits is difficult and I am under the impression that she isn't from the US originally (not 100% on that) but that will make everything so much harder for her. Having said all of that, I have done some digging and because I don't feel like I am the right person to offer help here, mainly cause I suck at offering comfort so I have found some US organisations (I went with California since I think that is where you live but again I could be wrong so I've included the websites so you can find one local to where you are if I'm mistaken) who will offer free support that maybe you could call: http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/california-suicide-hotlines.html http://suicidehotlines.com/california.html https://www.sprc.org/states/california I don't know what county you're in but those links let you find the one you need. I would suggest contacting the Department of Health Crisis Lines since they can probably get you some real help in addition to talking to you over the phone, they will be able to get you in touch with a real therapist and maybe even get you on some courses/group therapy (CBT etc.) that might help you with the underlying issues that are resulting in your frustration and feeling that nothing is getting better (a feeling I am very familiar with), they will also be the best people to know what groups, organisations or charities are available for free locally to you. Another suggestion could be to visit your local church, now personally I don't believe in God but I seem to recall you were raised in quite a strict religion, I am NOT suggesting you go back to that but I think you were Christian, churches are very peaceful places and vicars/priests/preachers are not only excellent listeners they often have a lot of life experience from helping their parishioners and so they can often offer comfort and practical help, they also take confidentiality very seriously (I know you are quite private), also because religions tend to try and give back to the community and be charitable they usually have a good idea what charities and organisations exist locally who might be able to help you, in addition to all that they often need volunteers and perhaps doing something like that would give you a sense of purpose, I know how hard it can be to make a commitment so perhaps just find out when they need people and then just turn up when you can, the more you do this the easier it will be, again I speak from experience having had extremely bad agoraphobia when I was in my early twenties, I would be physically sick if I had to go out, it does get easier. Even if you no longer believe in God, this could be a really good way for you to get some free help. I know how helpless, pointless and meaningless and even alone it can feel to be in the situation you're in at the moment, while @Gone home didn't perhaps chose the best words some of what he said was helpful, it is a case of you need to help yourself, I know a lot of things are completely out of your hands, like money, bills etc, but you can come up with an action plan to fix the things that ARE in your control, so the agoraphobia and generally being in control of going out perhaps with the end goal of a job, the key here is not to expect miracles, you aren't going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly be able to hold down a full time job, but maybe you could go out and stand on the street for 1 minute, and build it up until you can commit to a volunteer job once or twice a week and then once you have that under control you can maybe get a part time job. Volunteering also gets you experience which helps with your CV. The trick is to not expect to much, to set manageable goals and reward yourself for achieving them, maybe getting to the coffee shop and having a piece of cake. If you like to read, getting to the library and taking out a book you will enjoy, might also be worth borrowing a book on self-help/CBT, getting the books back on time and rewarding yourself with a coffee/hot chocolate. Libraries are also a good resource not just for books but they will often have leaflets about local groups/charities etc. They are also quiet you can go to them and know no one will bother you. Also, try checking out that course I sent you (I know it's long but try just reading one page a day as a goal), and definitely try listening to the relaxation mp3s they can really help you when you feel like you don't have control or if your feeling panicked etc, the short one is something you can learn and you can do it anywhere it isn't something others would necessarily know you are doing but even if you feel self conscious you can always pop to the bathroom and do it in peace to regain your equilibrium. The long one can be very helpful with getting to sleep. Another thing that can make a huge difference is reducing your carb intake, so less pasta, bread, cereal etc. and trying to eat more protein (meat, fish & dairy) and fibre (fruit & veg) now I know that is very hard to do on low income and even harder if you have to find the energy to cook, having agoraphobia can actually be helpful here, when you get your groceries only buy the healthy stuff then when you are hungry you options are go out and get something easy or stay in and cook the healthy option, you will probably opt for the latter, anyway if you can manage it then it can have a huge impact on your mental well being. The other thing that helps loads is exercise, again I know how hard it can be to do this when you feel so low and lethargic but if you can do some (and you don't need to go outside to do it) then again you will notice a huge improvement, I don't know why it works like that but it really does, eating well and exercising not only helps my depression it also weirdly makes me feel like I have more energy (you would think exercise would tire me out but it doesn't) and I sleep better and wake up refreshed. If you think you have ADHD (I think I've said elsewhere I think you have it) cutting gluten out of your diet can have a enormous benefit that you will feel and see very quickly. There is a Japanese theory called Kaizen which is the one minute principle and the theory is that if you set yourself the task of doing something you might put it off cause it is too much to manage so this theory is you just set yourself the task of doing it for 1 minute, what you will find is you won't put it off cause it's just 1 minute and of course that is doable but once you start you will be able to keep going and even if you only do it for 3 minutes or whatever still you will feel good because you not only did what you set out to do (1 minute) you went further This is REALLY helpful for people who have depression, when low we have very little energy so everything is hard, but exercising/going outside etc. for 1 minute is doable and if you do that everyday it will get easier and easier until you are doing better than you ever thought possible. Also remember that your brain rewards you for completing tasks, you get a dopamine hit, if you trigger those it can help your depression, so when you do something you don't want to, like cooking, cleaning etc. take a moment to notice that you DID IT, you set yourself a goal and you achieved it, even if it is just an everyday thing. Anyway I hope my post has been helpful and I hope you know that I am about if you want to chat via PM, I do know what you're going through and while I am not a professional I have been there, I know I said I am not great at comfort but I am pretty good at the practical side of things which can help; if you feel like you have a plan and some control.
  10. 5 points
    I suppose just being autistic may not be enough common ground. Some common interest would be important. Also, people get settled to what they have going on in life and don't know how to fit in extra relationships.
  11. 4 points
    I spent a lot of years being very lonely, and I found it hard to overcome that. I posted online a lot and interacted where I could with people, but I was always very shy and lacked any kind of self confidence. Then a couple of years ago I just got bored of myself being so scared of everything and I just started going places and meeting new people and not caring what they thought of me - if we got along, great, if not, I didn't mind. But as I said, I was incredibly lonely for along time, and it's really hard, I sympathise with you greatly.
  12. 4 points
    I'm sorry about your experience, but as @HalfFull said, most people wouldn't react this way - this is a minority response and not a majority response. I can understand the point of view when people get annoyed that they have to work tirelessly to make ends meet and they see people who don't work, who don't look physically disabled, getting money 'for free'. But it's still not a fair judgement to make, especially when they know you. I actually have benefited a lot in the past from telling people about my mental health difficulties. I was open about things at one of the schools I went to (still a normal, run of the mill secondary school), and everyone - teachers and students, were all very accommodating and thoughtful. Though it did end badly, that was again, a minority not majority situation. I've found that, after many years of struggling socially, I just no longer care what people think - and if they're toxic and bringing me down, I just don't include them in my life anymore, I don't have time or energy for drama or bulls**t.
  13. 4 points
    I know it seems discouraging that the very first person you told said something like this but honestly in the UK most people wouldn't react like that. His reaction was unreasonable and its his problem if he is this ignorant. Disclosure helped me a lot in the workplace and I stayed with the same organisation for 12 years. I've never really had a bad experience from anyone knowing. Before that job, I did have one manager accuse me of being 'unwell', but he was a very militaristic thinker, and during a period of unemployment I disclosed to an acquaintance and she said "well when my friend gets back don't tell her that because she'll moan that we have to pay your taxes". Frankly, people who react in those ways are just brainwashed. They assume that people are 'playing the system' and do not see how cruel and heartless their responses sound. I truly believe that the media needs to get its act together and support neurological disorders instead of sensationalising it the same way as everything else! I think in jobs and relationships its strongly advised to disclose but otherwise I'd say choose very wisely and if someone reacts badly, its because they are clueless!
  14. 4 points
    I wonder, because of ASD, we get anxious more which puts us at risk of anxiety-related illnesses? I know if I get tension headaches, my anxiety has hit the roof...
  15. 4 points
    Thank you for having the courage to post and explain everything and reasons for your absence. Always wish you well, good health and good luck with uni...
  16. 4 points
    Thank you everyone
  17. 4 points
    @nichii I know it's not easy to post at times but try never To be afraid I know it's hard not to feel afraid either
  18. 4 points
    I know that when people are in the heat of the moment they might not remember things so I'll post this thread here so that y'all can cool off there because if we're talking about help here, derailing the OP's thread with an argument isn't going to help her.
  19. 4 points
    When I was in Tokyo, trains were the loneliest places in the world. I was always - 100% of the time, the only passenger on board without his face stuck to the screen of a smartphone. There's just so much condensed within these phones now that people live in a constant state of distraction. Spotify, Instagram, emails, YouTube, sports apps, news, weather, you name it, it's all in there. Trains in London even have built in phone chargers in the armrests. We're just becoming so dependent on them. In the early 2000's, you just went round to your mates houses and knocked on the door to see if they were in. I carried a mobile sporadically, and it was usually stashed in a rucksack.
  20. 4 points
    There are two ways of looking at this. On the one hand, suicide is selfish. A person taking their own life is not considering the affect it will have on their friends, family, work colleagues and indeed people who have to deal with the aftermath of their death. So in that regard suicide is wrong. However, you also have to take into account the feelings of the person who wants to/does commit suicide. They must be in a dark place, a place that nobody other than them can truly comprehend. Of course, suicide is never the answer but if they genuinely believe that is their only option then it is difficult to argue that it is truly wrong on every level. One thing is for certain, whatever angle you look at it from suicide is utterly tragic and has a devastating affect on all concerned. An anomaly here as others have said is someone with a chronic or terminal illness. I don't believe it is wrong then at all. We don't expect animals to suffer, when they are suffering that much they are put to sleep. It seems wrong to expect humans to put up with such hardship. @blacktiger911 One other thing I will add. Reading your other thread you posted today, I hope you can find some sort of help or support. You are clearly in a bad place and are feeling troubled. I am sorry I don't have any more practical advice, but please know that you are not alone and the people on this forum are here to support you.
  21. 4 points
    No, I get fed up with generalisations about people on the spectrum and this is yet another one. Actually, I get fed up with generalisations about anyone, on the spectrum or not.
  22. 4 points
    Yes, Ben is quite right. To add to what he said I wish I could get across that all the negative, self-defeating, self-bashing thoughts form a vicious circle that can rob your potential. I wasted years of my life stuck in such a cycle. This kind of negativity in depression prevents almost the majority of autistic people from daring to stand and face the world as they are - flawed but unique. You need to build up your own self--belief and even list the good qualities you must have deep down. Avoid any kind of label pushed on you as "inferior". Honestly, what really matters is your own set of standards - not what society judges you by. Just accept yourself as you are and the fact your life is an opportunity to strive for your goals. And at this time, seek support for your depression from a rated professional or in a support group.
  23. 4 points
    If you go through with it, society wins. I find it very hard to believe that you are 100% responsible for feeling the way you do - somewhere along the way, you've been made to feel different, rejected or not good enough. Different = good. Why do some people rise up and achieve the most amazing things, whilst most just bumble about and work a job they hate? Because the person who rose up and made six figures doing what they love was different - maybe even a little weird? Don't look at what you're not, look at what you are. Then ask yourself, if all of your creative characteristics, odd mannerisms and funny little nuances were realised upon the world and were allowed to flourish 100%, would you feel unhappy? No, because you're being your authentic self. The problem is, you feel as if you can't be your authentic self, because society doesn't agree with it. But, your authentic self is exactly where you need to be in life to ever be TRULY happy. Listen to the people who lift you up when the rest of them are criticising you and saying "oh, you'll never do that" - and when someone does say anything like that, come back to this thread, and read this: You are AMAZING; if they're saying those things to you, it means you're nearly there. Don't stop being you! Recognise what it is that you can bring to the world, look at what makes you happy, and do more and more of it everyday. I might be off the mark, but either way, this is the best advice I can offer you.
  24. 4 points
    Don't do it. It's not the answer. My best friend took his life years ago and to me it always seemed a huge waste of his life. Despite his faults and depressions, he was a decent person and often good to have around. Ultimately self image is what matters. It's important to focus on the positives about yourself and build up some confidence. Often I see it as a duty to see the good things about myself to keep a sense of perspective.
  25. 4 points
    This weekend it was a good break from the cold weather where my province in Canada we mostly had a freezing weather all but with little snow very odd for Winnipeg i whent snowshoesing it was awesome I saw some deer and a Owl and a huge woodpecker here is a picture of the snowshoes trail that I whent on Thank you have a awesome day today


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