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Ok, so I'm about to open up about my issues, that I never tell anyone. So I haven't seen my little brother for 2 years, he lives with his mom (we have the same dad) and I've been trying to see him for the last few months, through my dad, who doesn't live with him, who keeps saying "I'm speaking to his mom about it, I'll get back to you" which he never does, so I have to keep chasing him, he lives with my little sister as well, who I see occasionally, but I have to keep chasing him and it feels pointless. I'm going into my final month at Uni, my Dissertation's a mess, my grades are dropping, my workload keeps piling up, I'm beginning to doubt whether my career path is the right one, I'm studying web design, but I want to be a train/bus driver, because that's what I'm passionate about, I'm starting to realise I'm gonna be bored out of my brain when I leave. My friends, in that no-one knows about my love for trains and buses, it's something I've kept quiet my whole life, and no-one really knows, that's why I go all the way to Manchester, so I can be myself without being spotted, I feel so pathetic. I'm a transvetite, more secrets in my ever growing closet, I get the urge to crossdress every now and again, but once again, no-one knows, so I can't really do that, instead I suppress it in certain ways, so much so that I think I'm becoming a sex addict. I only do (contracted) 8 hours of work a week, and soon I won't have student finance to help me out or Uni to go to, do I'm gonna be really bored and just feel as depressed as I do now. I could literally go downstairs and grab a knife and start cutting, but I simply don't have the courage, the only reason I haven't done anything drastic is because of my mom, I couldn't bare the thought of hurting her, but I need help and fast. I have Uni in a couple hours, I've never felt this depressed, I'm not really sure what to do, I'm scared of doing something stupid
If you had a clone of yourself, that was identical in every way from this point on, how would you two get along, what would you do? What would you have to learn about yourself? is there something you've always wanted but couldnt that you then would? Would you feel more alone, or less than ever?