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Found 7 results

  1. My feelings of love and wanting a relationship with an aspie friend, didn't work out. Initially we kept sending voice recordings online to chat etc. Then we met up and we are very similar in many things and become friends, but upon declaring my romantic feelings were growing, she tells me she only is attracted to females. She said she'd love to remain friends though and to give me time. So after not very long (since logically, a relationship wasn't possible and I valued the friendship), I messaged her (she's currently living in another country), to tell her I think being friends is a great idea etc. No response. Week later (as I hate grey areas), I message to ask if she is ok, and if she's just been very busy, or if she needs time to consider our friendship, and if that's the case then it's ok. No response. She was very responsive before all this emotional stuff. I am confused and stressed. I don't know if she genuinely has a lot going on, and isn't able to process the emotions over the last few days. I know, as aspies, we struggle with identifying emotions and processing them, but at least tell me that you need time, and respond with something, no? I don't know if it's an aspie thing that is making her like non-verbal (non-typing whatever). I would never have thought at all, that she would be the kind of person to intentionally hurt me, so I do think that it's probably that she can't deal with the emotions or something. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201511/is-why-ghosting-hurts-so-much Have you dealt with being ghosted? Was this a really special person that you shared much in common? I feel like, it's so mega hard to meet real friends to connect with, and I haven't potentially just lost a friend, but a rare person.
  2. Eliza

    Empathy

    I watched a Ted Talk recently, hosted by an Aspie on the topic of empathy. In addition to that, I've read a number of articles where the idea of 'a lack of empathy among autistics' is changing. For me, empathy is one of those things that has always confounded me. If anything, I feel too strongly. After a little research here is what I learned: There are three types of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate. People with autism tend to lack cognitive empathy. One of the first things our brains ask is, "Why do they feel this way?" However, tying their words with our emotions and own past experience, for me anyway, can often bring physical pain, like being stabbed in the chest with a knife. I tend also to be able to show great compassion, even to people I don't know (like a young woman crying in public,for example) because it twists up something inside me...it's very physically painful. I think because of this I guard my heart to keep from experiencing those feelings. It's often easier to just not care. What about you? How do you experience empathy?
  3. Aspergolfer

    Self - loathing

    Who struggles with self hatred after a big mistake? I do.
  4. Kuribo [old account]

    St. John's Wort - Emotional Numbness

    St John's Wort is a herbal remedy said to be helpful in treating mild depression. I've been meaning to try it for a while, and I finally did a couple of weeks ago. I can't say I've felt a lot better than usual. The only thing I have noticed is a slightly worrying emotional numbness - not when it comes to my interests, but in relation to other human beings. I go through short periods of social exhaustion, but they don't usually last as long as this one, and they don't involve a complete lack of care and empathy, even for my closest friends. That's what I'm worried about; I suddenly seem incapable of caring about people. The welfare of my friends is of no concern to me, and this has only been the case for about one week. It's possible that this is just an extended period of social exhaustion, brought on by underlying stress as I'll be starting college soon. I'm going to keep an open mind, but I'm also going to stop taking the medication this week to see if it is the cause of this. Apologies if I've seemed distant lately.
  5. So I've posted a lot in "The Dumb Cyclists and Pedestrians thread..." and the poster are attacking other road users, in this case (other) cyclists and pedestrians. The thread is about observation incidents where road users (in particular cyclists and pedestrians) are not acting sensibly and according to the rules. First of all, the very title of the thread seems to imply that those cyclists and pedestrians are less intelligent, when this sort of thig is not a function of intelligence. I began encouranging the assumition of good faith and discouraging use of perjorative terms just after this post, instead ecouraging being polite to other road users and assuming good faith, and they don't seem to understand what assuming good faith means, and they presist on calling them "idiots" and claming that they are "stupid." Futhermore things like the unfairness of red lights and "rights" are (unfairly) considered "off-topic." I am mentioning it here, because I think a lot more people on this forum (mostly AS women) have a lot more empathy for others and are more likely to understand what I am trying to tell them. I also sent a PM to a poster on that forum, which he seriously misread, and he won't let me correct him or tell him that I didn't mean to offend him, that is he told me not to contact him again (in all caps), I tried very hard to exlpain why other road users wich act as if they hate him, that maybe some actions of his own,which may not occur to him as "inappropriate" but which would be widely disliked by many aspie damsels who have mastered NT social skills. He also misinterpeted something of mine as suggesting that he had a mental defficency. I did ask him if he sees a psychaitrist, and I did mention Tony Attwood and asperger's syndrome, but I never mentioned any metal defficiencies, he obviously doesn't understand that AS is not a mental defficency.
  6. Guest

    [Sensitive] Violence

    I want to start a thread about violence- not about being the victim but being the person who is hitting, kicking or anything else. I often find when I am angry that I will want to hit someone. However, I am not going to go into great detail here as it will probably bore you. Do any of you have trouble with this? I am often scared with my thoughts about hurting others. I just have this incredible urge to hurt someone even though I know it is bad and I try to get these thoughts out of my head. Were you a violent child and how do you cope now? Sorry Wren
  7. First of all, this is to vent and to see if there anything i can do about the situation. Also as a heads up i am going to be a bit improper with the way i type.. Well.. I live smack in the middle of a city (not even close to a suburb) and I always feel nervous when walking/exercising outside unless i have my music in my ears.. Not always but usually o.e. The cases I do feel most fearful are when usually I wear a t-shirt (especially band and music related shirts) I always feel like I'm going to be called "fake or a poser" for whatever reasons so i try to stay away from crowds as much as i can while venturing outside. The only cases i do feel safe with them on are when I'm outside the state and city or at school if i don't have to wear uniforms. Lately, if i feel like my dad is treating my wrongly by trying to help me with something i already figured out on my own i get really defensive and i don't know why ._... and my parents claim "I'm being aggressive" or "Why are you being so angry ?!" Sometimes i get defensive and raise my voice and i know the reason but at the same time i don't and can't explain myself and when i try to think i feel my eyes trying to tear up and i feel overwhelmed. Then if i don't do anything at home (i haven't had much motivation lately to draw or read) i feel the same way (i feel down and like I'm longing for something i don't have yet). I really don't have much friends outside of the internet.. i do have acquaintances and trustworthy "friends" (not sure if its right calling them friends) but they're much older than me. I don't have anyone my age or talk to too many people with my interest. Which is one of the reasons I'm probably so dissatisfied as of this year and last year. *EDIT* Theres another thing that really concerns me that I forgot to mention... I really want too like start a blog or what not to "let out my demons' i suppose.. but I get so worried because of some of the stuff I've done a few months ago and stuff i'd rather not talk about; its stupid but at the same time i feel like i need to "get myself under control" before i do that. So every awful thing I've done and every violent thing I've attempted makes me feel like I'm not worthy :I.. *EDIT for the 100th time ._.* About the blog.. if it is possible good alternative for me .. How will i explain that to my mom.. she's really clingy and i think i might of inherited some of my problems from her /;. For example when i first started using youtube she got really paranoid when i was 12 afraid someone was going to kidnap me or lure me .____.. so uh, yeah.
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