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  1. OK, so here's what's been bothering me for quite some time. We all know that a reasonable number of Aspies, don't really have the most attractive appearance (Well, at least I don't. And I don't really mean you guys. Just in general). We also know that a lot of Aspies can be very shy (Like me). So naturally I show a few signs of struggle with verbal communication (Like it will take me 3-5 seconds to think about what to say next). I also want to specifically put this in a guy's perspective, because this seems to happen to them a lot more. One of the aspects like a girl likes in a guy is kindness. I'm very nice to people, whether it's a man or woman. I have tried to get to know my past crushes, multiple times and tried to go on dates with them, only to come up empty handed over and over again. Girls want something more than a nice guy. They want a guy with many other positive traits. We all know that right? Like I said, I'm not physically perfect, but I'm nice, I try to be funny at times, and I usually be myself. And yes, I am (In many ways) a nerd. What kind of gets me however, is how a girl will complain about how all guys are jerks, just because her boyfriend breaks up with her (Especially on Facebook since it has a lot of drama). Now keep in mind, I know this can be the other way around, but I just want to keep this in a guy's perspective (Because it happens to them more). I see how girls will blindly make the assumption that all guys are jerks. That all guys want to do, is to have sex with the girl, and then leave her. I usually think to myself, "Hmm... I just don't get it. She will turn away guys who are nerdy, and sort of Geek-like, but has an awesome personality, but dates a guy who is physically attractive, or who is not nerdy, or both, and turns out to be a scumbag?" I have thought this through and through until I realized that girls want more than someone who is nice, or funny. They want a guy who can show respect, who is nice, funny, and is usually being himself. I could go on with the list, but you get the idea. Maybe I'm lacking some of those traits. Or maybe, I just kept going after the wrong girls. Who knows? The point is, is that Aspie guys will usually act nice to a girl they like, and it gives them this delusion that the girl will be interested in him. After multiple failed attempts, the Aspie guy will get frustrated at girls in general, and even himself, leading to this thought that "How complicated can women be?? Why isn't being nice, working out?" I should know, because I was in that very same situation, and it brought me into a deep state of depression and my self esteem took a collateral hit. I mean, my insecurities rose like you wouldn't believe and I felt like a worthless piece of trash. Sometimes I still feel that way, but not all the time. I'm just lost and confused on this whole situation. Maybe I'm the only person who had this happen. Maybe I'm not. All I know is that I'm not all that attractive, I'm lacking in some traits, but that doesn't mean that I can't be boyfriend material. I just need some help on sorting this thing out.
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