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Hello everyone, I am Charles. I recently found out some news about myself that I did not know. I am age 33 and found out that I have had Aspergers Syndrome my whole life. My normal everyday life is hard for me to cope with, recent events have made it all the more difficult. With my daily challenge of Aspergers I have managed to hold down a job, although it only covers my living expenses. I do my best to keep a positive attitude though the separation/divorce I have been able to keep my dog Zoe, she has helped me out tremendously. I recently found out that my wife's brother had cancer at the same time I found out that I have Aspergers Syndrome. I finally found out why I have such a hard time understanding people and people have a hard time understanding me. Very shortly after that my wife’s brother died, due to my Aspergers I did not go with my wife back to her home town to visit her family, her best friend went with her. As a part of Aspergers it is hard for me to deal with unfamiliar areas. When my wife came back she said that she wants to divorce me that she never loved me and was thinking of divorce the day we got married, She is moving back home 8 hours away, I do not know if my Aspergers has anything to do with her leaving me or not. I spent almost 4 years with her thinking she loved me. Now I am heartbroken, traumatized and majorly financially hindered. I loved her with all my heart. I have a hard time coping with day-to-day life before and now with what I thought was the love of my life leaving/divorcing me, my life is extremely difficult for me everyday, however I am making it. That is my story in a nutshell. With my Aspergers that I have is a more mild form however its a daily battle I deal with OCD and Germaphobia and I am super logical and take people for what they say which has more times than not get me into social problems I have a hard time understanding people and people have a hard time understanding me as I am a tech geek and a science nerd very precise and detailed. I deal with thoughts that come into my head every day and I can not let them go until I resolve them I have trouble getting jobs and getting promoted in jobs cause of the way that I am. With my separation/divorce everything is ever so more hard I face nightmares and times or anxiety it has just magnified everything and made it all sooo much more worse I see a counselor regularly which helps. Anyways thank you for reading my story. Looking forward to hearing from you all! - Charles https://funds.gofundme.com/dashboard/maasns
so I don't know if anyone else gets this but there is a war that rips through my mind. I am confused in this world (as obviously we all kinda are) but trying to understand everything and everyone it gets overbearing, trying to fit in and act normal taking in everything wanting to do something or ever be someone but it is so hard to do that. You just get kinda lost and it turns into a war between society (the world to sum it up) and me and who I am. what do you think? dose anyone else get this or ever feel it?
Which symptoms (or traits) of Asperger's Syndrome do you struggle with the most? For me, it's not being able to understand certain instructions, and not being able to understand humor, they really affect my interactions with people and make me feel insecure, because of this, I'm never fully sure what I'm meant to say, or how to reply to things, and is just really awkward
So I was sat at work today looking at some payments on our system. Long story short, I was asking two people in my office what it was that I was actually looking at. I’m sure they were being as clear as they possibly could to me but I could not wrap my head around. I literally had to ask them, word for word, what it was I was going to have to say to the customer. I guess it suddenly just hit me that things like this I am always going to not understand, or it’s going to take me years to fully wrap my head around it (I’ve been doing this job for a year now). I actually felt a physical pain in my gut that I am going to have to accept things like this and no matter how hard I want to know or try to learn, my brain just won’t absorb it. Aspergers is a part of me and while I feel a fantastic amount of relief from knowing why I am the way I am, it’s hard knowing that there will always be some things I will always struggle with. The problem is, I'm a really stubborn person when it comes to being told I can't do something. I have always been a fighter to prove that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind too. The main issue with this is when I realise I can't do something, I take it really hard and it can literally send me spiraling into depression and the feeling of utter failure. I wish I wasn't like this, but I have always been independent and I find it so hard to ask for help (even though I do actually need it on a regular basis). It goes back to that vulnerable feeling I think I've mentioned in previous posts. Another example was when I realised that my other half is earning quite a lot of money. It's not the fact that he's earning more money that upset me, not in the slightest. He deserves it for all of the hard work he does. It's the fact that I pictured myself doing something better with my life at this age and I'm still not there yet. I'm earning peanuts in a job I don't really like and I thought that I would be earning more or, at least, getting somewhere with my career. I hate the fact that he may at a later date have to support me and I hate this thought. Why should he have to spend his money on me when he already does enough for me as it is? I rely on him for so many things and I hate it. He's so lovely and he always reassures me that this is fine, but I get so upset. He shouldn't have to carry me through life. What can I do? I guess realisation just hit me in the face quite hard this morning and it hurt a little and completely caught me off guard I'm so, so sorry for the essay. This thread only started off as a paragraph. I guess I just have things to get off my chest. Sorry you all have to listen to the rubbish that comes from my brain!