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Found 7 results

  1. PandaPrincess

    Feeling Alone

    Do you ever just feel alone even when you are surrounded by people and have friends? I have more friends than I did 4-5 years ago, but I still feel alone. I compare my friendships with other people's friendships, and it seems like other people are closer to each other than I am to my friends. I really don't understand how that happens, but it feels lonely.
  2. TheDefended

    First time alone for 6 days..

    My dad's been seeing someone within the last 3 months. Now, every weekend for the last month, he's been going out and sleeping over for the weekends. The issue I face is being left alone, with a dog requiring tablets every 12 hours of the day, breaking up my routine, making me anxious about the house being left so defenceless. I am so on edge right now and I seriously don't know what to do. I dare not raise an issue because my dad's not had a life since my mum left 11 years ago, and even if I wish to raise an issue, the argument would not end. I avoid conflict. And since he's been seeing her, the argument rates have been going up and I feel me, myself mentally deteriorating into paranoia, deeper into my already present anxiety and more. The area I live in is infamous for crime (heard of the Salford Riots in 2011?) Well, I live around the area that began in. So you can see where my anxiety spikes. With my dad, i feel safe, on my own, I feel alone, forgotten and defenceless. My house is a single house with windows on every side. I spent my time in my room, locked away where i hear nothing. And when I do hear something, it's my dog barking at something outside making me more on edge. I have 0% of a social life. I have a mum who lives 45 minutes away. So talking to anyone when I feel on edge is difficult thing to obtain. And nope, I have 0 friends. Unless you want to count a narcissist. I'd appreciate any advice at the moment. I'd also like to note that I am currently 1 day into a 6 day alone time and i already feel on edge.
  3. Christmas time and the New Year haven't always been the best time of year for me, but this year makes it more unwanted. Christmas was a joke; family argument, felt unwanted, lonely, anxious, and more to boot. Boxing day, spent 8 hours on my own, with zero people to talk to, alone, depressed, anxious again. Now, I find out my New Year's Eve is also compromised. I've opened up to a Neurotypical's dating website in hope to maybe form relationships if not, friendships but this is proving difficult, because of the time it's taken so far and lack of results. I'd even accept online company. I do have 'a' (not loads but singular) friend however communication is unpredictable and can at times be annoying because of his Narcissism. My family is spread all over and I keep my thoughts under control because of me not wanting to ruin their plans. I can accept being Physically alone to a degree, but I'd like some form of communication or company. I just don't know what else I can do...
  4. LordGary

    Hello to all of you

    Hello to you all. I am a 50 year old male who got diagnosed only a few years ago that I have aspergers all my life. I find it hard to make friends and relationships and have also found out that the reason I may be attracted to guys is my Asperger status, although im not attracted to camp way out gay guys so I have been on my own and single for 10 years. Age doesn't bother me but I thought I would join to see if I can find friends in my area who may want to hang out as friends and go places as ive been on my own so long I long for company of anykind. I will let you know more about me as I get used to using this site as only justy signed up Gary
  5. TheDefended

    Zero Social Life

    Since the whole situation with my 'Friend' (story in the link). I have found myself with zero friends, and pretty much zero social life. I enjoy communicating with people and I did talk with people when this 'Friend' had made time to do so. I dropped him as a friend in result to the story because I didn't feel as though it was actually a friendship, more like an session of group forced communication. When we talked it felt more like a media share; gaming news, sport news, world news and so on. Sounds quite stupid, I can understand but at this moment in time, I have nobody to communicate with, nobody to discuss things we both like, nobody to set up social events (Eg; outings, gaming sessions, skype calls for random chatter and what ever proper friends do). I just sit in my gaming chair, sometimes scrolling through facebook at late hours of the night, watching youtube videos of favourite youtubers, even sometimes playing a games. I would like to enjoy close to daily social conversations. Not being alone to think.
  6. Its strange to talk about how i feel to people coz its like my words are translated into another language and i end up feeling misunderstood. Anyways.. Since ive started to study what asperger means and how it described lots of problems ive had growing up, in family life and school and other social situations , it has felt like a dead end. I appreciate that the diagnosis exist and that people are communicating about it, but i dont know how i should find my own way, without being stressed by the outside world, and how to find and accept some kind of position in life. Im not stupid, i try so many things but it doesn't give me the manual i need, i cant stand the psychosocial values and ways of the world, its like the all i believed in growing up ive now understood arent real or any good. But totally isolating me makes me anxious, even though id like to be able to be unattached. I think about death almost every day, how it would be easy if there were any gun around (which there ain't) to just end it, it dont want to destroy my familys life and my best friends life that way, but i cant help thinking about it. Its like i dont have the energy and know-how soul in my skull that should be there, that others seem to have. Ive tried at some times in my life to self medicate, with alcohol, or/and stimulants and benso, but drug abuse have always hurt me and made me more sick than helped, it only helped at some points for temporary motivation and focus to connect to others, but it never lasted. So i gave it up about 6 months ago. Now all i have is meditation which clears my head from the worse, and my apartment to keep clean. I dont go to school anymore and i havent tried small jobs around anything yet. I get enough money to live on, coz of having the diagnosis (some lucky ones gets it that way in sweden). I dont care about earning more money coz theres nothing I could buy that would fix anything. Could someone tell me about finding some peace with aspergers and how to accept a kind of secure loneliness, not trying to fit in where you cant, and how to activate some motivation in life and discover positive sides of aspergers. Thanks..
  7. InsomniaDreams

    Small World

    I've spent my life creating a small safe world for myself and now I realise that I can't really do that. Also the walls of this world has stunted my development as a person. I'm so reactionary. I've never had an abundance of friends during my lifetime. A handful at best. As friends have moved on I've spent the past 3 years mostly indoors tbh. On the odd occasion i have the money to go on nights out I find that I can meet and talk to people quite fine. However in the past 3 years or so, even though I've met and got along with people on nights out, I don't have the drive to pursue a friendship with them. I don't know why that is. I think maybe I've just gotten so used to being isolated. I dunno. I'm also beginning to think that these days I have more depression that aspergers. Aspergers and it's problems seem to tend to revolve around talking to people, which I do fine (although people still think I'm strange lol). I keep thinking of that Virginia Woolfe quote 'you can't find peace by avoiding life.' I'm beginning to think that this is very true. For all of the effort and time and energy we place to create a safe private world for ourselves are we hurting ourselves? Is it a form of death? I feel like I'm existing, not living. There are obviously other problems that I and each of us have that causes us to form our worlds the way we have. I just am beginning to think that maybe we damage ourselves more than anyone else ever could. So why do we keep doing it?
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