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Found 7 results

  1. Kefeyouman

    Trigger

    I don’t know what it is. But my mind likes to assume things about people. I used to just keep it bottled up and I used to cut myself a couple years ago, now I’m facing a similar dilemma where my brain does the same thing but I want to talk about it but end up just doubting myself so I give my brain a couple jabs here and there because I do something in my mind and get like a reality check that’s understandable but only from one point. But I do not want to think negative about the people close to me so I will take what they tell me and challenge myself and say to myself that this is the answer. Stupid to even think about asking this and that in the first place . I’m not angry when I do punch myself but I feel like I just want like a wizard or something to pull the bad thoughts that weigh heavy on my brain out and just leave me be .
  2. Eli

    Changing Jobs

    The job I have right now I've had for a long time. In a way, it's been very good for me, because it's highly interactive and is major sensory overload. I've come a long way in my ability to deal with situations I once thought were impossible for me to handle. In fact, I've never disclosed that I have Asperger's. The reason I never disclosed it is honestly because I am so private, that I really didn't feel comfortable telling people I would otherwise not associate with something so intimate about me. It seemed unfair, though I've kept the possibility in my back pocket if ever it became too much and I needed my employer to take it easy, and understand why. Lately, I have been really wanting to find another job. It has become so hectic that it's becoming too much. It's crowded all of the time; crowds can really become too much for me to handle. People are stressed and pissy, and it makes me literally livid when someone puts bullshit on me early in the morning. Early in the morning is not a good time for me to be interactive, and I'm a ticking time bomb if someone is rude or demanding with me too early. My anger honestly worries me a little. I actually have violent thoughts towards people if they are confrontational with me, simply because they are entitled and grouchy. My responses have gone from trying to calmly pacify the situation, to barely getting out of the conversation without getting myself fired. In fact about a month ago there was this woman who was acting like a flaming lunatic and being very condescending, and I called her a f-ing bitch (mostly under my breath). She heard and freaked out, asked to speak to my manager. I've never had an incident and am one of the most valuable and veteran employees, so when she told him, he didn't believe her. She left furious, and has never come back. He asked me what happened and I just denied that it happened. Luckily, she was acting crazy and rude to everyone, and I acted perfectly calm and rational, so nothing actually came of it. Everyone just believed me and thought she was crazy. But it was a very close call. My dilemma is that I am feeling trapped by limitations I have. My current job has become so familiar and routine, that to break that routine seems like an impossible feat, sometimes. Every time I get close to it, I think, 'But it could be just as bad or worse. It's such a gamble.' Yet in the present circumstance, I feel utterly drained every day, and I don't even know how I keep doing it. I'm not sure what the best coarse of action is. Where does self-improvement end and destructive environment begin?
  3. I know that anger is often common among AS people, as well as bullying in school, ect. Curious as to if anyone ever got pushed a bit too far, or had to defend themselves from another person physically? How did you feel? Please, if the topic is uncomfortable to you, let me know and I will ask Willow to remove it. Fighting was pretty common for me as a child, and I was often suspended from school due to my violence toward other children. I apparently had problems expressing my emotions correctly. (Sound familiar?) Other then minor scuffles, the only serious encounter I've had (Outside of the War, totally different story...) was when I got jumped in a parking lot by 3 gang members. I got pretty beat up, and I still have scars on my face to show for it, but I managed to fight them off. One of them tried to grab my face and twist my head around, and without even thinking about it, I bit his little finger off. It was was a very strange feeling, biting a piece off of another person.... Anyway, that's probably TMI, so I'll stop there.
  4. blacktiger911

    getting into a brawl.

    when i get upset sometimes i wish o could just get into a fight because i liked doing it before...dealing pain and receiving it. but the days of doing that are gone with school i dont know why i liked it so much. i also dont fully know why i am posting this just felt like i should.
  5. blacktiger911

    exploshion!

    so I paid 6 bucks for a pizza today and I spent a little over a half hour cooking it when I took it out after it was done and it fell on the ground and was ruined and I just yelled and blacked out for a few seconds. I don't know why I got so mad all a sudden, yea I lost 6 bucks but I have more money I don't know why I got so mad. any one have any ideas?
  6. Hi all! I think my 10 year old son may be an Aspie... actually, I feel pretty sure about it, but he's what some people would call "high functioning" so I can't seem to get a doctor to recognize it. Also, I'm not sure it would be beneficial for him to have the official label because he would definitely be unhappy if he felt people treated him differently. Anyway, I'm here because I'm hoping to get some insight into how to make our home life smoother. Most of the time he's very happy and extremely active. He's also really smart and funny. He's social, as long as he gets down time when he needs it, and he excels at school and in martial arts. What we struggle with the most: He's unable to regulate himself when he gets frustrated and if we try to help him, it seems to grow into anger and then a big argument between me and him or him and his dad. So, for example, he may ask me to help him with downloading a minecraft mod. If minecraft has updated, often the mod won't have been updated yet so I won't be able to install it (well, also because he never wants to downgrade his minecraft updates). I will try to explain why I can't update it and he will either get upset with me because he thinks I'm not looking for the answer hard enough OR he'll get upset with me for trying to explain to him why I can't do it. Then he'll raise his voice and say things that I feel are disrespectful and he can't understand why I feel that way and he gets upset because I try to correct him... and the next thing you know, we're either yelling at each other or he's melting down. This often happens when I can't find a solution to something that's frustrating him. He gets angry, he starts to get super frustrated, he keeps insisting that I help him, but he can't seem to answer any questions I have that might help me to help him find a solution and he disagrees with every suggestion I have using a really awful tone of voice until I get angry... and then he melts down. I have no idea what to do in those situations. I've tried asking him what he'd like me to do or if he has suggestions, but that just makes him more upset. Any questions seem to make him upset... I'd love any advice or suggestions you guys can offer me. Also, I wonder if any of you have or had problems sleeping alone when you were younger? Right now, he only seems to be able to sleep if he's touching both me and his dad (one on either side). Thanks for the help (and please let me know if I'm writing too much. I'm an explainer which seems to make my son really upset, so I apologize in advance if this bothers any of you as well.)
  7. Guest

    [Sensitive] Violence

    I want to start a thread about violence- not about being the victim but being the person who is hitting, kicking or anything else. I often find when I am angry that I will want to hit someone. However, I am not going to go into great detail here as it will probably bore you. Do any of you have trouble with this? I am often scared with my thoughts about hurting others. I just have this incredible urge to hurt someone even though I know it is bad and I try to get these thoughts out of my head. Were you a violent child and how do you cope now? Sorry Wren
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