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  1. roxie_buttons

    Worried about assessment outcome

    Hi, I've been lurking on the site for a while - I'm currently self-diagnosed but am going for my formal assessment in a week and I'm suddenly really worried. I'm 30 years old, and came to the realization I might be an aspie earlier this year. I work in a school and some ASD assessment paperwork for a student came across my desk to file and I realised all but one or two of the characteristics fit me. It was a real light-bulb moment to be honest. I live in Kent and met with a support worker from the Kent Autistic Trust to find out more information. They agreed it seemed very likely that I was on the spectrum, and supported me in deciding what to do next. Asperclick was one of my first stops for more information - thank you for helping me to realise i'm not alone The NHS in my area currently has a three year waiting list for a referral for diagnosis (which is quite frankly ridiculous) so i'm going down the private route. I'm not too bothered about it affecting my ability to access NHS support services in the future - they're pretty dire in my area anyway - but i would like the security of a diagnosis. I have had difficulty keeping the same job for more than a year, for the last 9 years. I don't get fired but i end up leaving because i can't cope with the social aspects of the workplace, and I become overwhelmed with stress and anxiety, so i take a few months off and then the cycle repeats. My current job is a record at nearly two years (they have a very caring ethos which helps I think) but if i start to struggle again I would like to be able to say 'this is why' and have them understand there's an actual reason and i'm not just a useless employee with a history of not sticking it out! My husband has been very supportive, and in total agreement with me about everything - and I recently told my parents about my suspicions. While their reaction wasn't negative, it wasn't terribly supportive. They didn't say very much at all in fact, when i was fully prepped to answer questions and defend my position etc. Which brings me to the assessment. I have been asked to bring a parent along to answer questions about my early development and I'm worried that (intentionally or not) my mum might sabotage me. It might sound silly, but she can be very dismissive of differences/things that might be perceived as weaknesses, and she is very defensive when she feels criticized - especially when it's to do with my upbringing. I was an only child, and a bright one, and as I was shy like she was i don't think she noticed things that would be automatically picked up as flags for a condition such as ASD. I think she is quite likely to gloss over anything that might seem negative or atypical. I am also concerned (although I am going to ask when I contact the clinic tomorrow to confirm my appointment) that the Psychiatrist might not have much experience diagnosing women with ASD and as I don't struggle to communicate in a 1:1 'professional' scenario, (especially one i've anticipated and can prepare for, I struggle with social skills and sensory overload mostly) I am worried that he is going to take one look at me and basically say 'there's no way you're even remotely on the spectrum!' I don't really know what the assessment involves - i am presuming as it's going to be 3-4 hours that it will be quite in depth, so i'm hoping i will be given the opportunity to explain my difficulties. All I'm looking for is some reassurance really - i know we're all different on here, and one person's assessment experience isn't going to be another's, but any words of wisdom would be welcome Sorry for the long back-story! Roxie xx
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