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Found 13 results

  1. blacktiger911

    im struggling

    i have been struggling with the though of hurting myself. my mental state is slowly deteriorating and its making me want physical pain over emotional and i relish in the pain when i accidentally hurt myself. i have no partner anymore and tharapy is just to expensive for me and pill dont work. am i just broken? is it a sign? i want this all to stop SO bad. i get up at 4 in the morning work till 7 at night get home sleep do it all again and i just st and game on the weekends. thats not much of a life. im running out of things to keep me going and i cant afford with my bank account, my sanity, or my job to go to a ward.
  2. blacktiger911

    is suicide wrong?

    is suicide really wrong or do we just tell people that. if someone is truly suffering then wouldent it be a good thing? to finally stop suffering and being tourchered in your own head? when the emotional pain becomes physical.
  3. Sometimes I just wish I could be someone else, because nothing about being me seems right. I'm alright at some of my hobbies and I find ways to pass the time, but I just always go back to feeling sorry for myself. People find me annoying or uninteresting, I feel like I can never do anything right, I'm too stupid to follow any of my interests, I can't get a boyfriend, I pretty much suck at almost everything that actually interests me, and on top of that there are all of these different people I would so wish to be like but I'm stuck being me, and no matter how much I try to act like them, I can never stop being me. In all honesty, I really don't know what I'm supposed to do right now.
  4. I've had trouble with depression in the past, which some of you may remember me posting about. It was under control for quite a while. I thought it was even cured somewhat. I would have fun playing video games and was enjoying life again and lately my joy of life has been slowly fading. Nearly every day I've been having meltdowns and crying at least once a day. I'm dating now and the simplest fight will cause me to break down and fear abandonment. I've been telling myself that it's only a matter of time before my girlfriend leaves me and I'll be alone again. This has caused me a great deal of anxiety and panic. I was having trouble coping with life even before I started dating, but my recent relationship fears have made my life much more painful. I'm at a loss for what to do. I love my girlfriend very much, but I feel as though my fears make me a bad partner and all of my relationships are bound to fail. I'm scared and this fear is consuming me. I don't know how much more I can take. I've had an urge to self-harm again which is something I haven't done in years. I've thankfully been able to not do that, but it's getting harder to suppress my urges. It's also hard because I don't really have any healthy ways to cope.
  5. hawkasweapon

    suffering at work

    I am suffering at work. My medication buproprion is not working well and i feel fatigued.this is bad news becuase my job requires fast paced work and often strenous work. i have to push my self to get through. I want to find a different job becuase of this but also becuase people dont like me their.its not so toxic but i think its going to get worse.the problem is that when they hired me they wanted like a one year commitment.i dont think i signed my life away but im not sure.should i try to just fix my meds and push through this year or try to find another job
  6. I have found antidepressants that work for me .i have renewed interest in topics and dont feel the urge to lay down all the time.the problem is that not much has changed and my ability too change circumstances fails and those failures make me less hopeful.now im becomeing more reluctant.ive seeked help from therapy and i know it might take time to get to where i want to be but time seems to where me down.i dont think we can wade through life without consequence.to go into hibernation and return when its better.what do you think
  7. I think I may be depressed, what are some symptoms of depression?
  8. Little Pink Coupe

    New hoodie

    Does anyone have a favorite article of clothing (such as a hat, a scarf, or in my case, a hoodie) as a comfort item? If you do, have you ever had someone close to you suggest that you either replace it with a new one, or offer to get one for you for Christmas or your birthday? If yes, how did you react? The reason why I ask is because my stepmom told me that she was getting me a new hoodie for Christmas, to replace the one I always wear. My favorite hoodie was given to me by my favorite aunt, is lime green, and has the lettering "University of Minnesota" on it. It has knots in the drawstrings and holes in the sleeve cuffs that I've "stimmed into" it over the years. My aunt gave it to me in about 2010, and it's been my favorite one since then. It's special to me since my aunt gave it to me, and because it's nice and loose-fitting, and has a big pocket in the front that I can fit stim/fidget toys, my MP3 player, and a small plushie into. It was as if my aunt knew exactly what I needed to feel safe when she was picking it out for me. It also feels nice both inside and out. I was airsick one time on a plane and felt better when I cuddled it against my face, and the inner fabric has a nice, comfortable "nappy" feeling against my skin, rather than feeling all soft and ticklish on the inside, like jellyfish or eels rubbing against my skin. Best of all, wearing it just makes me feel safe...I like to pretend it's my aunt hugging me when I wear it. My stepmom's letting me pick out the new one myself, if I want to, and even I realize at this point that my hoodie is so full of holes, runs and stains from my various adventures that I'm beginning to look like a hobo in it, but it's still going to be an adjustment. I still plan to keep my old hoodie, even if I do get a new one. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated. Happy Holidays.
  9. Little Pink Coupe

    What are your coping items?

    Does anyone have coping items that they take around with them to help them stay comfortable and safe in situations that are difficult for them to feel comfortable and safe in? These can also be items that provide with positive sensory input, or just serve as protectors and companions. Here are my coping items: There are my plush ones. I have many stuffed animals and plushies, but these are the smaller ones that I take around with me in my bag, who make me feel "okay" during the day. Dory (the dolphin) is my favorite (and oldest one) and she has an official button to show it: And these are my non-plush coping items: (The book is there so Judith (the Wild Thing) won't fall over.) I also have a keychain of Grumpy the dwarf attached to my keys (not pictured) - he has a fluffy beard I like to stroke. Does anyone else have special items that help them feel safe, comfortable, and less lonely?
  10. Kuribo [old account]

    How to Feel Positive/Motivated

    I won't bore you with a long explanation of why I'm depressed, as I've already done so many times before. I am at a complete and utter loss. I have no idea what to do. I lack the motivation do do some of the most basic things in life. Being at school all day tires me to the extent that I feel the need to sleep as soon as I get home and I'm so mentally exhausted that I struggle to recall basic general knowledge facts. I find even speaking to my parents very difficult and it seems like such a huge effort. My sister who is also Autistic. She sensitive and difficult to communicate with a lot of the time, and I try my best to help her, but I just can't even work up the motivation to speak to her during school terms. Yes, the solution is planned. Yes, it is a mere 24 weeks away. But I'm tired of playing the waiting game and I need to do something to feel somewhat better now. I have another meeting on Monday about extra accommodations in school, but I can't ever feel relaxed and happy at home because of how stressful I find school. Damn, I've rambled a lot more than I intended to, so here is my simple question: How can one minimise the effects of depression, think positively and stay motivated to do things in life? Thank you.
  11. I watched a movie that I remember a long time ago, from Netflix. It had it's fair share of sad moments, but it had one of those "bitter-sweet" type of endings. A few minutes after watching the movie and thinking about it, I got very depressed. I know how certain movies can make people cry (depending on how emotional it is). But I wonder how often a movie can make a person depressed without crying. Feel free to share your experiences if you had any.
  12. Sometimes I seem to feel OK and happy in my self but them something will happen to irritate me and instead of being irritated at that one thing loads of of other stuff starts coming to the surface at the same time until I feel totally depressed and crappy. Its like I have all this stuff just bubbling under the surface and while most of the time I may feel OK one little thing just makes all the rest of it come out too at the same time. Does anyone else have any experiences like this ?
  13. InsomniaDreams


    Depression is strange. If you have it for long enough it becomes totally the norm and happiness is what feels alien. Sometimes I wonder if a lot of what I still deem as aspergers is really depression. I'm not sure if I am depressed. I probably am. Here's different types of depression though. I'm not in a dark sad place, I'm just de motivated from long term unemployment. Plus aspie social confinements. So even though I may be depressed its not a classic case of crying or cutting myself or anything dramatic. It's just drained and low. So how much of your aspiness is really just depression these days?