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  1. I was diagnosed with ASD earlier this year, and it has literally been a life saver for me. Everything in my life is improving since the diagnosis and I feel like I'm getting a second chance to live by having this new understanding. I'm married, 26, and live with my husband about 15 hours away from the rest of my family (parents and two siblings). He obviously has been with me throughout the process so he knows everything. I recently confessed the diagnosis to my parents as well, through letter/package, and they took it really well (although we definitely still have some talking to do since they've basically not acknowledged it since then, but that's another issue).I have yet to tell my siblings, parents-in-law, or most of my friends (in real life or online). I know a lot of people will make light of the coming-out decision or say something like "you don't have to tell anyone, just don't worry about it and only mention it if it's relevant", but that's easier said than done for me. I guess I'm the sort of person who has never swallowed my feelings very easily. I keep quiet a lot of the time, yes, but when it comes to straight forward questions about myself or having to interact with someone, I don't lie. I am honest about just about everything, and I am open about just about everything. So this whole "don't mention it unless it comes up" thing is very hard for me sometimes. Of course, I can just not mention anything. BUT most of these people who don't yet know are online, on my social media profiles, following my blog or my IG or my YouTube. Not mentioning this HUGELY life changing event on any of those internet worlds has been very draining to me. I almost feel like I'm sneaking around and being dishonest or just not true to myself... I honestly feel the strongest urge to just sign on to everything and post "Hey everyone I'm on the autism spectrum, in case you didn't know. Have a nice day!"... I'm sort of kidding, but not. I know doing something like that would be hugely inappropriate for some relationships (like my siblings for instance, they should probably know before others, but telling them feels so awkward and potentially disastrous). And I know telling everyone I know could just be hugely inconvenient for the rest of my life (having people either disliking me, being annoyed with me, feeling sorry for me, being scared of me, thinking I'm less than, I can't even fathom all of the different negative reactions I could get by telling any and all).I know full disclosure to everyone in a public way has huge drawbacks, but I feel that nagging tug at me every single day now... How do I decide how to disclose? Who to disclose to? When?Getting this diagnosis, for me, was mostly about getting back in touch with my true self and letting myself breathe free and be me. So holding back SO much from SO many feels like the antithesis of that releasing freeing process I'm trying to nurture within myself... I just don't know what to do about this tug-of-war. Does anyone else understand these kind of strong impulses to expose your ASD? To come out of the closet about it? I can't pretend it's not terrifying, but it's exciting at the same time... It definitely isn't going to be easy for me either way, but what's the best way? Being eaten alive by this secret or opening myself up to vulnerability? Also, I have been considering the advantages and disadvantages to telling my siblings soon and then coming out online on autism awareness day next year (April 2nd in the US). That's 6 months away so it might be just enough time to prepare myself but not so long that I feel I can't handle the wait... Any thoughts? If anyone has any advice, warnings, or personal stories to share that might help me figure this whole thing out, I would greatly appreciate hearing from you.
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