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aspiesw

Acting Neurotypical

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aspiesw

I was watching this video on YouTube, where this girl with AS talks about how she acts Neurotypical to try and fit into society, and how much of a struggle it is trying to fit in with Neurotypical people and how tiring it is trying to act like someone else. It got me thinking, everyday of my life, I have to act 'Neurotypical' but ultimately fail at doing so, trying to understand jokes - sometimes pretending I do, trying to stay chatty and talk about uninteresting things, even trying to smile for extended periods of time sometimes, does anyone else try to act Neurotypical?

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Sofi

I can't try to act Neurotypical. I honestly don't know how some people do it. My brain is too overcome by just being... Autistic, I can't pretend. I used to try a bit and tried to copy how other girls stood like and what they said in conversations, but it was still far too hard and I still stood out as being awkward because it wasn't natural. It must be difficult to act like that every day. Also, I don't want to act Neurotypical, I just want to be me even if it is Autistic, but just not in bad ways and causing problem. 

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Bruce

I certainly don't try to 'act Neurotypical' as I can't see how they act any differently, in a social setting!

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Dakohi

Tried/failed. Idc anymore ^__^



I think I know the girl whose videos you were on about too. She was soooo mad!

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Nesf

Could you post the link to the YT video? Yes, I try to fit in, be social, be friendly, smiley and join in conversations but it doesn't come naturally to me, I'm acting and I'm no good as an actress.  Socialising is a lot more subtle than just talking and being friendly, and I think I don't seem quite right to other people, so they instinctively avoid me. No matter how hard I try it always shows. And after an hour or so of it I'm exhausted.

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aspiesw

Could you post the link to the YT video? Yes, I try to fit in, be social, be friendly, smiley and join in conversations but it doesn't come naturally to me, I'm acting and I'm no good as an actress. Socialising is a lot more subtle than just talking and being friendly, and I think I don't seem quite right to other people, so they instinctively avoid me. No matter how hard I try it always shows. And after an hour or so of it I'm exhausted.

It's called 'Aspies don't have emotions' :)

Edited by aspiesw
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Ben

There's nothing wrong with any of you. It's society dogma that is drumming it into your heads that you are somehow not fitting a certain mould or criteria, that is expected of you to be an adult in 2013. 

 

Take out the word 'neuro' and just call it acting typical. Acting and conforming to the typical standard set by those who see as as nothing more than sheep. 

 

Make a stand. 

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HenryVIII

does anyone else try to act Neurotypical?

 

I try but fail most of the time.

 

Just when I think I am making progress someone comes along and says "why are you acting so weird ?".

 

The more I try, the more I fail it seems.

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Disappeared

I can't act like a Neurotypical, and even if I could, I wouldn't want to.

Edited by Kuribo
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Pinky and his brain

I did it a lot when I was younger. Between the age of 16 and 25, I was actually having a private and a public personality. As soon as somebody came close, I would automatically switch to my public "me".

 

Sometimes the barrier between those personallyties was so strong, that I could not remember information that was belonging to the private personality, when somebody was near me. That sometimes created some trouble.

I could not answer questions about my favorite music, or any other personal opinion, because the public personality did not have any specific taste. The public personality was made to reflect everything the person next to me felt, meant or said. That way I thought I was able to avoid any conflict. And it did work most of the time, because most people really just want to be confirmed in their taste and beliefs. But it only works if they started by telling what they thought or liked etc. If I was asked to tell something about myself, I just went mute. I didn't know what to say.

 

In present time I don't do it so much anymore, because I don't want to spent my life pleasing everybody. Including those people I don't like.

 

So now I try to be myself most of the time. That also means I don't go to parties, bars and that stuff. If i'm not comfortable with it, screw it. If people can't accept me the way I am, then why should I try to fit in. They will not like me when they figure out who I really am. So it's just a waste of time. Better to look out for some real friends, who are cool with people being people. Even if they are hard to find these days.

 

Sorry for the essay, but I have wasted too much time acting like an NT. :)

Edited by Pinky and his brain
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Xmas

I used to have a public and a private personality, but perhaps not to the same extent as Pinky and his brain. In my teenage and young adult years I tried to cultivate a persona in order to fit in with my peers. It was an act, and when I look back I realise that in spite of my best efforts I was completely socially awkward, nevertheless I did manage to make a few friends.

 

As I get older I don't make so much of an effort because I find it so trying, so exhausting. I truly don't have that much in common with other people and I get tired of being the one who has to try and fit in with the norm all the time, whatever that is. I seem to spend more and more time alone, but it is with relief because I can just be myself.

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coffeebean

I'm kind of torn. On one hand, I want to be me. On the other hand, I know how horrible it feels when it seems like someone doesn't care or value what I say, and I don't want to make other people feel that way. I guess what I'm looking for is a better version of me.

Edited by coffeebean

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King_oni

If I could act neurotypical, I guess I'd have a great career in the future as an actor.

 

But in general, I don't even know how aspie I act and how aspie I shouldn't act. Long before I got a diagnosis people thought I was weird, just for my interest, my disregard of social protocol and things like that and therapists even told me that, even though I might have developed some interests and a mindset through Asperger's, a lot of it isn't aspie exclusive with me... even if I got therapy for acting less aspie, I'd probably still freak a bunch of people out... that would probably end up with me acting more normal, still being the "weird" me and eventually end up a therapist and get a different label, much like what I almost got plastered with like a billboard a few years ago.

 

In another thread I wrote how I behave and how that might give some stuff away to being on the spectrum; though I'm not that sure if that's all just because I'm on the spectrum or if there are other factors as well.

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Nesf

If I could act neurotypical, I guess I'd have a great career in the future as an actor.

 

But in general, I don't even know how aspie I act and how aspie I shouldn't act. Long before I got a diagnosis people thought I was weird, just for my interest, my disregard of social protocol and things like that and therapists even told me that, even though I might have developed some interests and a mindset through Asperger's, a lot of it isn't aspie exclusive with me... even if I got therapy for acting less aspie, I'd probably still freak a bunch of people out... that would probably end up with me acting more normal, still being the "weird" me and eventually end up a therapist and get a different label, much like what I almost got plastered with like a billboard a few years ago.

 

In another thread I wrote how I behave and how that might give some stuff away to being on the spectrum; though I'm not that sure if that's all just because I'm on the spectrum or if there are other factors as well.

I find that since being aware of having AS i've been examining and analysing my behaviour a lot more to see how Aspie it is, and in the process made myself even more Aspie... not good, must stop.

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aspiesw

I think the main reason I 'act neurotypical' is because as soon as people realise I'm different, they start patronising me, treat me like I'm a baby, I hate it, and it makes me hate myself, my friends are the only people that treat me like a human being, I'm indebted to them

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Mike_GX101

Imagine if they did night classes for studying the ways of the neurotypical...we'd all become masters of the art!!

Edited by Mike_GX101
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Mike_GX101

One thing I notice is that while I can integrate quite well, there are times when I cannot join conversations because it's simply too overwhelming/too fast.  I can't think fast enough to join in - my replies are usually awkwardly late, or after the conversation has moved on.

 

Then there are the emotions.  While I feel the emotions, I would say that I am not a master of them; rather the reverse is true!  The emotion takes me along before I've recognised it and so while one can say it is good that one can learn to swim after they've survived the rapids (better late than never!) it would always be more productive to steer clear of the rapids in the first place and navigate the emotions intuitively at the time when they come up.  But I have been doing lots of reading on the emotions and am becoming increasingly more proficient at recognising them, albeit after the event!  At least that's something though. 

 

Autism is a prickly syndrome because we are often too wrapped up in our own world to see our world from the perspective of others.  This often creates some what of a blind spot and I know in my case, many of the traits were there, but I simply couldn't see them.  It took a lot of learning of the ways of the neurotypical to be able to see and acknowledge these traits in myself.  No one knows 360 degrees of themselves; often it takes others to show us that which we cannot see ourselves!  That's where some questionnaires are flawed because they often ask of the person what they may not know themselves!

 

I think one can do a lot to improve their reading on subjects in order to live more productive lives although I acknowledge there are always going to be key fixtures, or traits, that will always be there.  But at least one can take the edge of those and make life a bit more survivable in a largely neurotypical world!

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HenryVIII

I find that since being aware of having AS i've been examining and analysing my behaviour a lot more to see how Aspie it is, and in the process made myself even more Aspie... not good, must stop.

 

That has been my life for the last 18 months, constant examination of myself.

 

I know I must stop but I seem to be caught in a cycle.

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Saveyourscissors

Story of my life, I spend my whole time covering my AS up and attempting to act 'neurotypical'. I know I shouldn't but I hate being judged all the time and treated as if I'm dumb or don't understand anything. Main problem I guess is people don't really have enough understanding and presume that If you have a disability you can't be intelligent or have any of the same likes/dislikes as them and so on!

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Nesf

Story of my life, I spend my whole time covering my AS up and attempting to act 'neurotypical'. I know I shouldn't but I hate being judged all the time and treated as if I'm dumb or don't understand anything. Main problem I guess is people don't really have enough understanding and presume that If you have a disability you can't be intelligent or have any of the same likes/dislikes as them and so on!

Once I told someone I have Asperger's and explained that it is a mild form of autism, and his reply was "but you're intelligent!"

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Saveyourscissors

Once I told someone I have Asperger's and explained that it is a mild form of autism, and his reply was "but you're intelligent!"

When I was at school, they told me and my parents that I was to intelligent to have anything 'wrong' me and therefore couldn't support me.

Thanks Q.E now I'm left with out all those A and A* I was predicted!!

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Nesf

When I was at school, they told me and my parents that I was to intelligent to have anything 'wrong' me and therefore couldn't support me.

Thanks Q.E now I'm left with out all those A and A* I was predicted!!

When I was at school some of the teachers thought I was slow, and another teacher said she thought I was a bit autistic. When my parents heard that they were horrified - "but she's too intelligent to be autistic!" I went on to get 'O' levels and 'A' levels. What's Q.E?

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Saveyourscissors

When I was at school some of the teachers thought I was slow, and another teacher said she thought I was a bit autistic. When my parents heard that they were horrified - "but she's too intelligent to be autistic!" I went on to get 'O' levels and 'A' levels. What's Q.E?

Q.E was the school. I ended up with no qualifications  :angry:  as ended up out of school!

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Toran

If a child is in mainstream school in my opinion without help things wont work out as you had hoped. I ended up with nothing because i was put in the slow learners and basically forgotten about. You can now do whatever you feel like doing taking courses or training with the correct methods. School days was out of your control but now isnt dont think of school days they were lost on a lot of people because of how they treated us.

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Saveyourscissors

If a child is in mainstream school in my opinion without help things wont work out as you had hoped. I ended up with nothing because i was put in the slow learners and basically forgotten about. You can now do whatever you feel like doing taking courses or training with the correct methods. School days was out of your control but now isnt dont think of school days they were lost on a lot of people because of how they treated us.

Sorry to hear that! Also I agree with the mainstream thing, but its hard too when you don't want to stand out too much! I can't afford to go back to college now though! I did how ever go before and get my maths and english :)

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