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Acting Neurotypical

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ASDCommunity

I do not highlight my traits to others. I think it is something that is personal and for me to show who and how I choose and not dictated or property of anyone else. That said I do not make a conscious effort to "act" neurotypical. I DO try to fit in best I can and do not beat myself up if I fail. 

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Toran

I do not highlight my traits to others. I think it is something that is personal and for me to show who and how I choose and not dictated or property of anyone else. That said I do not make a conscious effort to "act" neurotypical. I DO try to fit in best I can and do not beat myself up if I fail.

Doesn't that keep the dividing line a kind of them and us situation? I'm not ashamed of having Aspergers and while you don't need to tell everybody it will help. If you say you fail you don't beat yourself up about it ain't you denying those individuals the chance to understand you?

After all if they knew they may be well meaning and because they understand they may act differently and be fully excepting. While it's an individual's right not to tell anyone I think being open about it in the community gives everyone a chance to mix together a lot better.

If society in general is to have a chance they do need us to be open otherwise we lock ourselves away and can create our own isolation through the fear of the reasons you wish to keep your real identity and personality secret. We need to move forward and be a constant part of society in general otherwise people will never understand and be excepting.

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annalise_fox_ford

yeah i do and i get told off by people that i copy them but i just want to be normal but still keep my talents like dance and drama i have not been offical diagnosed but i think i might be cos of the way i act and my routines and other stuff like that.

 

 

 but mostly i would just like to make friends by myself without people having to do it for me cos i have no clue whatsoever how to so yeah i do act neurotypical alot. just so poeple think that i am normal and so i dont get bullied

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Toran

yeah i do and i get told off by people that i copy them but i just want to be normal but still keep my talents like dance and drama i have not been offical diagnosed but i think i might be cos of the way i act and my routines and other stuff like that.

 

 

 but mostly i would just like to make friends by myself without people having to do it for me cos i have no clue whatsoever how to so yeah i do act neurotypical alot. just so poeple think that i am normal and so i dont get bullied

I understand why you feel the way you do and why you do it not to be bullied.

I find this the saddest statement because if we are ourselves then bullying is what we can expect.

Society has to be encouraged to except the differences and although it's going to be a major challenge to do this its the only way we are going to live a life without hiding our identities.

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ASDCommunity

I think the answer is the fact that I am less than a 1%'er. People reject what they do not understand. I hold a decent job and it is not in a field that is Aspie-friendly. It is hard. I like challenges though. If I could not conform to certain "standards" and let some of my more natural tendencies to come in, I would not have my job nor my lifestyle nor the challenges at work I do nor really be the person I am for it. 

Doesn't that keep the dividing line a kind of them and us situation? I'm not ashamed of having Aspergers and while you don't need to tell everybody it will help. If you say you fail you don't beat yourself up about it ain't you denying those individuals the chance to understand you?
After all if they knew they may be well meaning and because they understand they may act differently and be fully excepting. While it's an individual's right not to tell anyone I think being open about it in the community gives everyone a chance to mix together a lot better.
If society in general is to have a chance they do need us to be open otherwise we lock ourselves away and can create our own isolation through the fear of the reasons you wish to keep your real identity and personality secret. We need to move forward and be a constant part of society in general otherwise people will never understand and be excepting.

 

 

Give people the option to do the wrong thing but you and they generally will. It is the way the word is. 

Edited by ASDCommunity

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Toran

I think the answer is the fact that I am less than a 1%'er. People reject what they do not understand. I hold a decent job and it is not in a field that is Aspie-friendly. It is hard. I like challenges though. If I could not conform to certain "standards" and let some of my more natural tendencies to come in, I would not have my job nor my lifestyle nor the challenges at work I do nor really be the person I am for it. 

Doesn't that keep the dividing line a kind of them and us situation? I'm not ashamed of having Aspergers and while you don't need to tell everybody it will help. If you say you fail you don't beat yourself up about it ain't you denying those individuals the chance to understand you?

After all if they knew they may be well meaning and because they understand they may act differently and be fully excepting. While it's an individual's right not to tell anyone I think being open about it in the community gives everyone a chance to mix together a lot better.

If society in general is to have a chance they do need us to be open otherwise we lock ourselves away and can create our own isolation through the fear of the reasons you wish to keep your real identity and personality secret. We need to move forward and be a constant part of society in general otherwise people will never understand and be excepting.

 

 

Give people the option to do the wrong thing but you and they generally will. It is the way the word is.

It may be the way the world is but in the 1930s and 40s millions of people were killed by a dictator that created the world that allowed it to happen.

Because it was the world at that time does that mean you would have decided to act with the dictator because it was the world you lived in?

Or would you have had the courage to say no I will not do this because it is morally wrong and I will not take a human life. If nobody then had the courage to say no you would not be here today.

The point I'm making Is that we don't have that terror to contend with but we do have a responsibility to be who were are and the right to be excepted.

If you have to hide it from your employer that's your business but personally I am not scared to say hey I'm an aspie at the appropriate time and not hide behind a shield of false reality because someone may not like me.

Only you can make the choice but as my old grandad used to say if you don't stand up for yourself don't expect anyone to do it for you you just have to decide if being an aspie you have the courage to do what's your right to do or hide away like so many people do.

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ASDCommunity

It may be the way the world is but in the 1930s and 40s millions of people were killed by a dictator that created the world that allowed it to happen.

Because it was the world at that time does that mean you would have decided to act with the dictator because it was the world you lived in?

Or would you have had the courage to say no I will not do this because it is morally wrong and I will not take a human life. If nobody then had the courage to say no you would not be here today.

The point I'm making Is that we don't have that terror to contend with but we do have a responsibility to be who were are and the right to be excepted.

If you have to hide it from your employer that's your business but personally I am not scared to say hey I'm an aspie at the appropriate time and not hide behind a shield of false reality because someone may not like me.

Only you can make the choice but as my old grandad used to say if you don't stand up for yourself don't expect anyone to do it for you you just have to decide if being an aspie you have the courage to do what's your right to do or hide away like so many people do.

Toran, I think you pretty much lost me on equating my not telling people who I do not wish to about my Asperger's diagnosis with Adolf Hitler. 

 

How many people have you given a talk to about your difficulties with living with Asperger's? Me? I can not be sure. I think there were about 200 or so. Interested citizens, parents with kids on the spectrums and a heap of professional in the fired of health services. Scary stuff. This also prompted a couple of group sessions with one of the Disability support centres. Helpful they later said. I have helped with a PhD on Adults with Autism, I have written countless articles into news papers online and off in or against specific articles and always make myself available for lending support to petitions. I also set up an online forum for people on the spectrum.

 

But in this you are alluding to me not having courage to stick up for Aspies or to disassociate myself from my condition. I think that the implication on basis of what I have just written is wrong and on the basis of you not knowing these things ought not have been implied on the basis of you simply having no idea who or what I am or my life experience or history to weigh the implication against.

 

I am an Aspie but I am a good many things as well. That is NOT the sole aspect to my personality and identity. I do not need to flaunt it and I won't make myself vulnerable to appease an autistic community's or an autistic person's sensibilities. That would be counter-productive. It is in my way of viewing things like saying that my gender ought to be flaunted by snapping nude photos and sending them around to prove that I am not ashamed of my gender or my identity. At the same stage I can not think of a reason why my having Autism is any of my employer's business. I certainly more than suspect I would never have been employed by them if they had of suspected.

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Toran

It's about being true to yourself, if as you said you have been active in these areas then are likely to know anyway.

Company's use social media to keep track of employees as you know and being very high profile as you claim if you use your name at some point you are likely to be found out. If of course you hide your name as you do here then the work you do is devalued as the faceless voice means little to people as it seems unreal.

People respond to people like willow and others on YouTube because they can relate to them as individuals.

If you put a blank screen and hide your voice like a whistle blower who would take you seriously you could be anybody.

This is an open site you don't need to feel threatened in any way, people have problems with work and talk about them openly to share experiences and for mutual support. If you engaged in this you would be more integrated into the group. If your not comfortable with this its your perogative but if you hide in work and not feel able to integrate here you will be lonely and opinionated.

It isn't a criticism I talk from experience.

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ASDCommunity

Sure Toran. That is your real name right? Toran? That is your photo as your avatar? Great you look jus like Willow Hope's plush toy. I kid, of course. 

You are right about that being from experience ;)

 

I am sure you are much better at telling the world than I and your efforts in addressing inequities for people with Autism are far more. I simply do not want to enter into who has the longest......sorry that should be who more comfortable with who and what they are. It is not interesting. I am not that moved that you may think me hiding or uncomfortable with who I am or any other notion you have of me. Just don't care or care to discuss it because I find it banal.

 

Hope you are Ok with this and someone else can wade in with their 2cs worth.

Anyone, Anyone....?

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Mike_GX101

One thing that hasn't really been raised is the fact that 'neurotypical' itself covers a very large and diverse group of people.  Perhaps it is worth exploring that point a bit more deeply in order to gauge better with what is meant by 'acting neurotypical'?

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