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Sofi

'borderline Paranoid Schizophrenia' And 'schizotypal'

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Dakohi

My psychiatrist wrote on my notes 'schizotypical personality' possibly, too, ages ago because I too suffer from delusions but yeah I don't know enough about it... however I know someone who had schizophrenia and it seems too extreme... actually hearing clear voices talking to you over and over? no that's not me

 

I keep seeing things moving all the time now. Even in the day I see them. Sometimes I see things in mirrors like, if I look away the mirror is RED and there is no reason for it to be red. I don't have eyesight problems. And last night I suffered a lot because we were watching Supernatural and it was late.. like 1am.. and too dark in the room. Bad idea huh. I kept seeing things in the mirror and the room, couldn't sleep til 3, woke up gasping, it was horrid /: and i'm so stupid.

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Sofi

My psychiatrist wrote on my notes 'schizotypical personality' possibly, too, ages ago because I too suffer from delusions but yeah I don't know enough about it... however I know someone who had schizophrenia and it seems too extreme... actually hearing clear voices talking to you over and over? no that's not me

 

I keep seeing things moving all the time now. Even in the day I see them. Sometimes I see things in mirrors like, if I look away the mirror is RED and there is no reason for it to be red. I don't have eyesight problems. And last night I suffered a lot because we were watching Supernatural and it was late.. like 1am.. and too dark in the room. Bad idea huh. I kept seeing things in the mirror and the room, couldn't sleep til 3, woke up gasping, it was horrid /: and i'm so stupid.

Remember, though, any of these illnesses will appear differently in each person with it. I think that's why I was confused as to how I could possibly have schizophrenia, because whenever I had heard of it, it seemed far too extreme too and I'm not like that. Maybe I am milder with it... but it does make sense, or maybe not necessarily milder but with me it was just hidden. Not everyone with it will all hear voices or all see things, everyone will have a different experience. With me, it is more delusions than anything else but that leads to seeing and hearing things around me about the delusions and then I am so paranoid about them

You should read about it online, you'll maybe see if it describes you too. You can just be an 'ordinary' person but have it  you're not stupid you can't control it. Do you still see the psychiatrist? 

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Dakohi

Yup I stll have to go see him for checkups but I don't like it and just say 'I'm fine'. I've been trying to tell him I don'y want to be on my meds anymore, but everytime I do he's just like, "well you need them or the symptoms will come back, we can just switch to something else or lower the dose and see how it goes". And then I tell him how I hate having no motivation to do the fun stuff I like sometimes like art or gaming. And he's just like "yes yes some people are known to feel 'less excited' as a side effect. I don't tell him about how I'm seeing things that aren't there, quite often, anymore because he will just tell me to increase my dose or put me on something stronger.

Then I know I'll have zero creativity left in my brain.

It's a strange life :I

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Sofi

Yup I stll have to go see him for checkups but I don't like it and just say 'I'm fine'. I've been trying to tell him I don'y want to be on my meds anymore, but everytime I do he's just like, "well you need them or the symptoms will come back, we can just switch to something else or lower the dose and see how it goes". And then I tell him how I hate having no motivation to do the fun stuff I like sometimes like art or gaming. And he's just like "yes yes some people are known to feel 'less excited' as a side effect. I don't tell him about how I'm seeing things that aren't there, quite often, anymore because he will just tell me to increase my dose or put me on something stronger.

Then I know I'll have zero creativity left in my brain.

It's a strange life :I

I know what you mean :( are you/were you on an antipsychotic? I am on 2 now  but and antidepressant too which is apparently supposed to counteract the side effect of the antipsychotics making me feel like I don't enjoy anything or just numb to what I used to like. The olanzapine and fluoxetine are supposed to be good together so I am hoping that happens, that's what my psychiatrist tells me

You need to think if the seeing things and delusions are seriously affecting your everyday life and the way you function, if it is then I know medication is the best but it will take a while to get the exact right mix of meds for your body, that is what I'm doing right now and some of these side effects are just making me feel worse, I'm waiting! At least I am in more control of my delusions now, maybe I'd rather live completely numb than have delusions. they are horrible

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Dakohi

Nope I'm not on antipyschotics but yeah that is what I worry of, not feeling anything D:

I'm on antidepressants to (but for anxiety) and some days it's just like...UGH why do I bother ... tbf, my anxiety hasn't been bad like it was befrere i was on them, so i kinda just don't take them... but then, how do i explain delusions? Surely it must be caused by anxiety right?

I kept thinking I was seeing Bloody Mary last night and it feels like the only way they go away is if you start screeching D:

They don't affect me THAT much, I just get them alot. I dont know what yours are like but I don't think mine are as strong..
The only time it is bad is- late at night, like last night, or being alone at night, or going out alone :( but that doesn't happen much.

If they get worse I might consider ):

my fiancé has been looking up natural recipes and supplements to help with it...I just got some chamomile and honey tea to help sleep tonight ^^

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Sofi

Nope I'm not on antipyschotics but yeah that is what I worry of, not feeling anything D:

I'm on antidepressants to (but for anxiety) and some days it's just like...UGH why do I bother ... tbf, my anxiety hasn't been bad like it was befrere i was on them, so i kinda just don't take them... but then, how do i explain delusions? Surely it must be caused by anxiety right?

I kept thinking I was seeing Bloody Mary last night and it feels like the only way they go away is if you start screeching D:

They don't affect me THAT much, I just get them alot. I dont know what yours are like but I don't think mine are as strong..

The only time it is bad is- late at night, like last night, or being alone at night, or going out alone :( but that doesn't happen much.

If they get worse I might consider ):

my fiancé has been looking up natural recipes and supplements to help with it...I just got some chamomile and honey tea to help sleep tonight ^^

I don't know what delusions are caused by, but when it's something like schizophrenia it's a brain biochemistry imbalance which cannot really be altered without medication, it's a brain structure defect :( My anxiety has decreased a lot since I've been on medication too, i think anxiety just seems like a factor of having weird delusions and it can be scary. I have bad anxiety anyway! I know people can just experience these things without it being an illness though, I don't want to scare you!

Yeah my delusions seem a bit different to yours, mine are 'real' circumstances which have evolved over time - many years - and I just thought I was surrounded by these... people and places when I wasn't really and, I was only living my real life through them, there was no line between real life and not real life. I couldn't distinguish the difference anymore. With something like schizophrenia, I think it gets to a point when you don't know what is real life and what isn't, like the facts about your real life are on the same level as how real your delusions are, so I don't know if you think like that? I'm only learning they weren't real....

I would obviously say you should tell your psychiatrist about it if you think it's got to a bad point. You may not even need extra medication so don't worry about that yet, the psychiatrist will be able to help you work out what sort of delusions you have, the fact you know they are not real means it might not be psychosis. He can just help you deal with them. 

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Dakohi

I don't know...now I just feel confused XD

Mine have only gotten worse over the past year... I didn't really experience any before that but I have been very paranoid most of my life, in daily life...

I know the delusions....or whatever they are aren't real. I know it, but at the time it's different... I get the sense that something is behind me, or surrounding me, when I get these it is overwhelming and I cover my ears/head, close my eyes and just screech or make a high pitched noise, or shake my head so it 'goes away'. It's like being haunted. That's during bad times though, most of the time I'm just seeing things moving to the side of me. And it's shocking, but after I just think I'm 'seeing things' and that's all.

I used to do those actions or screaming into the pillow when my ocd- obsessive thoughts was very bad. I remember thinking the microwave was some kind of evil and it wanted me to do bad things (I don't want to say what) it was awful... maybe it's linked to that? I still get obsessive thoughts mainly about lorries and roads. I don't actually get it about the microwave much now but I know if I looked at it a little too long...

 

Sorry for the life story there... 

 

:P yeah, maybe i will just mention it to him next week...i'm bad at explaining so he might think i'm making it up ahh x.x 

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Sofi

I don't know...now I just feel confused XD

Mine have only gotten worse over the past year... I didn't really experience any before that but I have been very paranoid most of my life, in daily life...

I know the delusions....or whatever they are aren't real. I know it, but at the time it's different... I get the sense that something is behind me, or surrounding me, when I get these it is overwhelming and I cover my ears/head, close my eyes and just screech or make a high pitched noise, or shake my head so it 'goes away'. It's like being haunted. That's during bad times though, most of the time I'm just seeing things moving to the side of me. And it's shocking, but after I just think I'm 'seeing things' and that's all.

I used to do those actions or screaming into the pillow when my ocd- obsessive thoughts was very bad. I remember thinking the microwave was some kind of evil and it wanted me to do bad things (I don't want to say what) it was awful... maybe it's linked to that? I still get obsessive thoughts mainly about lorries and roads. I don't actually get it about the microwave much now but I know if I looked at it a little too long...

 

Sorry for the life story there... 

 

:P yeah, maybe i will just mention it to him next week...i'm bad at explaining so he might think i'm making it up ahh x.x 

Yes I would recommend that it is always the best idea to tell your psychiatrist about anything like that, even if you don't suppose it is an actual illness or to be diagnosed - I don't think that matters, because that's just labels really, you just need to be able to cope with those things in your life and they should be able to help with that. Also, a very low dose of antipsychotics can be given without it meaning you actually have schizophrenia. He'll know what to do for you. He won't think you're making it up, the fact you're even saying it, is the issue, if you find it hard to explain you could write it down like you have here... or just print something you've typed out! 

I get weird paranoid things like that too, about the foreign office and foreign polices and prisons, I think I'm just getting searched down and going to get put into prison and telling me to do certain bad things too. So, I understand that. Some of my delusions were actually not 'bad' though and a comfort for me so it makes it harder to know it's not real. 

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Sofi

Euthanasia is people with illnesses being allowed to say when they want to die when they feel too ill to be alive anymore but why not people with mental illness get to say that too, It's human rights when it's euthanasia. It's unfair because mental illness is the same as physical illness. 

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