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Kuribo [old account]

How to Feel Positive/Motivated

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Kuribo [old account]

I won't bore you with a long explanation of why I'm depressed, as I've already done so many times before. I am at a complete and utter loss. I have no idea what to do.

I lack the motivation do do some of the most basic things in life. Being at school all day tires me to the extent that I feel the need to sleep as soon as I get home and I'm so mentally exhausted that I struggle to recall basic general knowledge facts. I find even speaking to my parents very difficult and it seems like such a huge effort. My sister who is also Autistic. She sensitive and difficult to communicate with a lot of the time, and I try my best to help her, but I just can't even work up the motivation to speak to her during school terms.

Yes, the solution is planned. Yes, it is a mere 24 weeks away. But I'm tired of playing the waiting game and I need to do something to feel somewhat better now. I have another meeting on Monday about extra accommodations in school, but I can't ever feel relaxed and happy at home because of how stressful I find school.

Damn, I've rambled a lot more than I intended to, so here is my simple question:

How can one minimise the effects of depression, think positively and stay motivated to do things in life?

Thank you.

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coffeebean

Depression isn't an easy monster to fight. I guess some basic questions would be:

 

Are you able to keep up with basic care like showering, keeping your living space clean, etc?

 

Do you have time to get sunlight or a small amount of exercise?

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Guest Chris

I think it's fairly common for those with AS to feel tired after social encounters (even if it is only passive).

 

I'd start with making sure your health is in check - how is your diet? Do you get enough exercise? Sunlight (does SAD effect you?) may be a factor - though difficult to remedy at this time of year.

 

After tending to that, if things haven't improved, maybe pickup a book on cognitive behavioral therapy? It doesn't sound very helpful, but just trying to manage your thoughts more positively and taking an optimistic outlook on things can help a lot. i.e. "Woohoo, only 24 weeks left until I'm out of this place :)" as opposed to "Ugh, 24 more weeks of hell".

 

Failing all else, keeping busy works for me. Focus on task x and you won't have time to worry about depression or other issues. :)

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aspiesw

Regular exercise and participating in my special interest usually help me deal with depression, it's difficult, but you'll get through it :)

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Jale

Now, the main reason I think you have low energy everyday is probably because of the ADHD/ADD.

ADD compulsed activities can take away so much energy from your body that you'll feel very exausted and sleepy after only 5 - 6h (at least for me, for some autistic ppl even less) of daily activities (assuming that they are random, not scheduled).

And plus you are adolescent which makes it even worse.

 

And the main reason for that assumption comes from the fact that you are anxious every time something new happens or something randomized. Normal brain for example will not notice small changes but for autistic brain, that's another story. It will treat every action with the greatest respect and it will focus on it instantly.

 

So, basically your brain is cooked.

But if you organize everything in some order you won't have to deal with that kind of stress every and each day.

 

Try to brainstorm your daily schedule, what are you going to do each day, for example i'ma rest for 5 mins after I get from school (btw my school-time is always scheduled for the morning) then I'm gonna study for 3 - 5h (try to make schedule of all your subjects you are gonna study for that period for example mine goes from the most boring to the less boring for example:  math>English>what ever subject you have)

 

And while you are doing some subject that takes a lot of attention try to listen to some songs repeatedly so you can kick all that noise out. First listen to them carefully then start working.

 

Now after that you can watch your favorite show or play video games or work on something else that excites you or try to make plans for some things for the future

Also don't forget to take a walk now and then, it doesn't have to be outside you can do a walk inside your apartment or around a house, try to stretch and yawn so your brain gets more oxygen.

Also try to find which day would be good for taking a break for me its classical: Fryday :)

Its going to be hard to get used to the new schedule but once you do, it will be piece of cake.

 

Also try to find a hobby as well and you can stick it in your free time, but if you prefer not to, fine choice is yours, just something that will give you progress it doesn't have to be much but progress will make you happy every day no matter what happens.

Edited by Jale

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Kuribo [old account]

Depression isn't an easy monster to fight. I guess some basic questions would be:

 

Are you able to keep up with basic care like showering, keeping your living space clean, etc?

 

Do you have time to get sunlight or a small amount of exercise?

 

As for basic care, I can keep up with this usually, but only just. The amount of effort it should take to do these things is very far below the amount it feels like to me.

 

I think it's fairly common for those with AS to feel tired after social encounters (even if it is only passive).

 

I'd start with making sure your health is in check - how is your diet? Do you get enough exercise? Sunlight (does SAD effect you?) may be a factor - though difficult to remedy at this time of year.

 

After tending to that, if things haven't improved, maybe pickup a book on cognitive behavioral therapy? It doesn't sound very helpful, but just trying to manage your thoughts more positively and taking an optimistic outlook on things can help a lot. i.e. "Woohoo, only 24 weeks left until I'm out of this place :)" as opposed to "Ugh, 24 more weeks of hell".

 

Failing all else, keeping busy works for me. Focus on task x and you won't have time to worry about depression or other issues. :)

Coincidentally, my dad bought me an SAD light a few weeks ago, but it was for the purpose of helping with my bizarre sleeping patterns more than depression. I have thought a lot about SAD over the past few years, but it didn't seem to affect me at all this year - I was significantly happier than I normally am over the Christmas holiday.

My diet is good enough, but I have a tendency to eat too much when depressed, similarly to what Wren posted about in Chit Chat earlier.

Thanks for the recommendation of cognitive behavioural therapy, I will look into it.

  

Regular exercise and participating in my special interest usually help me deal with depression, it's difficult, but you'll get through it :)

I gather that this isn't the case with most Aspies, but my emotions almost always override my special interests. I've stopped playing the games I was enjoying because I project my negative emotions onto them and start to associate them with the way I feel.

  

Now, the main reason I think you have low energy everyday is probably because of the ADHD/ADD.

ADD compulsed activities can take away so much energy from your body that you'll feel very exausted and sleepy after only 5 - 6h (at least for me, for some autistic ppl even less) of daily activities (assuming that they are random, not scheduled).

And plus you are adolescent which makes it even worse.

 

And the main reason for that assumption comes from the fact that you are anxious every time something new happens or something randomized. Normal brain for example will not notice small changes but for autistic brain, that's another story. It will treat every action with the greatest respect and it will focus on it instantly.

 

So, basically your brain is cooked.

But if you organize everything in some order you won't have to deal with that kind of stress every and each day.

 

Try to brainstorm your daily schedule, what are you going to do each day, for example i'ma rest for 5 mins after I get from school (btw my school-time is always scheduled for the morning) then I'm gonna study for 3 - 5h (try to make schedule of all your subjects you are gonna study for that period for example mine goes from the most boring to the less boring for example:  math>English>what ever subject you have)

 

And while you are doing some subject that takes a lot of attention try to listen to some songs repeatedly so you can kick all that noise out. First listen to them carefully then start working.

 

Now after that you can watch your favorite show or play video games or work on something else that excites you or try to make plans for some things for the future

Also don't forget to take a walk now and then, it doesn't have to be outside you can do a walk inside your apartment or around a house, try to stretch and yawn so your brain gets more oxygen.

Also try to find which day would be good for taking a break for me its classical: Fryday :)

Its going to be hard to get used to the new schedule but once you do, it will be piece of cake.

 

Also try to find a hobby as well and you can stick it in your free time, but if you prefer not to, fine choice is yours, just something that will give you progress it doesn't have to be much but progress will make you happy every day no matter what happens.

I'm not diagnosed with ADD/ADHD and show no symptoms of it as far as I'm aware. I'm not really sure what you mean about being anxious over small changes. What have you noticed on the forum relating to this?

I have tried a more rigid routine in the past, but it hasn't been very helpful. I may try again...

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coffeebean

 

As for basic care, I can keep up with this usually, but only just. The amount of effort it should take to do these things is very far below the amount it feels like to me.

 

I know the feeling... but once those things start to slip the true downward spiral begins.

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MrGrey

I'm feeling pretty much the same.  A general lack of motivation.  I now what it triggering it, but can't really do anything about it at this time.  So, I can relate.  

 

Hang in there bro.

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Ben

Just as a quick one. 

 

Diet wise, you're overeating to gratify your brains serotonin levels - break this cycle as soon as possible. Eat big and nourishing meals, that fill you up and leave you feeling satisfied. Eat only when you know you're truly hungry, and avoid sugar like the plague - starting here will produce remarkable results in a surprisingly short time. 

 

Try and get out and about, and wake up an hour or two earlier to give yourself plenty of time to prepare yourself mentally for the day. Squeeze in some you time, and if you can, then do walk to and from school. On the journey back, walk somewhere scenic and calmly reflect on your thoughts. Also, try to break every single bad, obsessive and unhelpful routine you've got - beating depression, is all about embracing change to your routine. 

 

Most people know lack of vitamin D causes depression. Why? Because you're malnourished. If you're malnourished in anyway, then I'd be surprised if you wasn't depressed. So, vitamin D, just like every other vitamin, is vital for optimal brain function - this should be obvious, but it's not. But, ask anyone who's been a patient in a mental home, and they will tell you, that one of the first things they do, is fix your diet and supplement it... With certain vitamins I've mentioned a hundred times, as well as other minerals. 

 

But above all, be patient. Patience is the key here. Now, I'm no expert, but I've had crippling depression in the past and sent it packing because I genuinely wanted to change. You have to genuinely want to change as well, and refuse to be eaten up by the depression monster. 

 

And the honey monster! 

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Alex

I just want to say that I've been severely depressed too, to the point where I thought about taking my own life every day, so maybe I can say a few things that could help you.

 

- First of all, I am affected by SAD (seasonal affective disorder), so I usually get depressed in the cold and dark winters. You mentioned a SAD light? I assume you mean one of those lamps to treat SAD. And what I can say about that, is that it has worked very well on me personally. I started using it last year, and at the time, I could definitely feel that I was getting depressed by the darkness. But, soon after I started using it, I felt much better, and this winter has been without any depressions. So if you're anything like me, that could help you!

 

- Chris mentioned CBT. That's a good one aswell. I am going through some therapy sessions where my psychiatrist uses CBT, and I feel like it drastically clears up my mind. I feel so much better and happier after every session. So I would definitely recommend either picking up a book on it as Chris suggested, or maybe see if you could get some sessions with a therapist (if that's possible.)

 

- And as Ben says, be patient. They say that "time heals all wounds" and I think that's true, atleast to some degree. It doesn't mean you should just sit and wait for it to blow over, but be patient and work at getting better, and let time help you recover. Take one day at a time, and more importantly: take care of yourself. Personally I would say that, if school tires you to such an extend (believe me, I know how it feels), then see if you can take a day off every once in a while. Maybe you could get a schedule with less school hours, or something. 

 

But to be honest, I might not be the best to help you... You see, I've fallen to depression many times. My life has been utter shit sometimes, with no routines and no happiness what-so-ever. And I still haven't beaten it completely. Sometimes it sneaks up on me at the most unexpected times, and tells me that there's no hope, and only one way out of it.

 

But try to look for all the good things in your life, even if you have to look harder sometimes. And fight for what you have in life!

 

And my ultimate advice to you, and this might be hard; Try to find that teeny-tiny bit of courage and hope, and hold onto it. If you let go, try to catch it again. Don't let it fade... 

 

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall"

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