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Kuribo [old account]

My Mum's Step-Dad is an Abusive Pig.

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Kuribo [old account]

The title says it all. I have never known a more self-obsessed, lying, manipulative, controlling, two-faced bastard in my entire life.

When my mum was sixteen, my grandmother (not the one who's ill) decided that she'd be moving in with him. Shortly before this, my mum had a serious accident and was therefore unable to sit her exams. She coped fantastically in the school system and was in the most advanced class for almost every subject. Getting those qualifications would have set her on the right track, and she was going to be allowed to sit them at a later date because of her injury. However, her step-dad talked my grandmother into moving in before she was allowed to do this. When she objected, he pinned her against the wall and screamed that she ought to consider herself lucky that she had a home at all, and that she should "stop whining and deal with it". She ended up renting a room with family and eventually everything worked out okay, but this is just one example of his disgusting nature.

He lies. To everyone. All the time. If doing so will allow him to get his way, he'll gladly talk utter bullshit at other people's expense. Usually, the goal of his lying is to make himself seem like a completely different person from whom he really is. For example, he spends a large amount of his time boasting about well-paid and exotic jobs he's done, such as being the head chef of a hotel in Canada, being the "depute park keeper" of a park near me in Edinburgh, even though he was apparently a homeless alcoholic from Glasgow at the same time, and many more. I know that he hasn't worked for a single day since my mum met him.

He has lied to me a lot about other things too. In spite of everything that happened, he told me that if my mum had listened to him when she was young, she would have been a lot more successful. He also told me that when he was a homeless alcoholic at 19 in Glasgow (while he was also the 'depute park keeper' in Edinburgh), God came to him in a vision and taught him how to live a good life. When I first met him, he couldn't care less about religion, and he only started claiming to be a lifelong Christian five years ago. Considering that he's been banned from several churches and voluntary organisations for being abusive and manipulative, I think I understand his motivation for "becoming" Christian.

He constantly manipulates people to get his own way. For example, he tries to appear loud and threatening, often repeating things several times to intimidate people into agreeing with him. He also puts people on the spot by saying things like "I'll have to come over to your place for lunch soon, won't I?" whilst under the impression that people will be too polite to decline. During his latest uninvited visit to my great aunt and uncle who are both lovely, quiet people, he did the same and apparently was pretty annoyed when they declined.

My grandmother is a very shy, introverted person who can't really stand up for herself, and he orders her around, forcing her to pay for everything he does, and even dictating word-for-word what she should be saying over the phone. She changes her attitude, beliefs and mannerisms when around him. He has apparently raised his fist to her during a fit of rage too. :(

My mum doesn't even want to contact her own mother anymore, because every time she does, he tries to speak to her even though she hates him, and if he doesn't, he'll be sitting there dictating her words and nagging her to ask certain questions. More disturbingly, he's recently been taking her mobile phone and texting my mum while impersonating my grandmother with the intent of obtaining my contact details so that he can attempt to manipulate my opinions as he has tried to in the past. He assumes that because of my age, I'll believe everything he says and that he can mould my opinions in a way that would be beneficial for his ego. My grandmother's texts are always grammatically-correct and polite. We received one yesterday saying "[my name]'s mb nombre now please" which was obviously from him. A few hours later, we received another one written in a way that was obviously an attempt to mimic (badly) my grandmother's writing style.

I hate seeing my mum as upset as she is just now, knowing that every time she sends a private message to her own mother, this sack of shit will be reading them, planning his next move. My dad now needs to answer the phone and make sure he isn't there in the background before giving it to my mum or saying that she's not in just now. He just causes so much unnecessary misery and drama. I'm sick of it.

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Sofi

I'm so sorry that your family are having a difficult time with him, it sounds like the last thing you need in your life right now. I feel sorry for your mum that she feels uncomfortable contacting her own mum. 
I hope it can somehow get better at least, just so at least your mum can talk with her mum happily.

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Heather

Ahh wow, that sounds horrible, Kuribo!  I hope things can get better soon.. that your mum's step-dad will somehow see what he's doing and try and stop or that your mum or grandmother would figure out a  way to help the situation and at least be able to talk without the step-dad interfering. 

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Kuribo [old account]

Ahh wow, that sounds horrible, Kuribo!  I hope things can get better soon.. that your mum's step-dad will somehow see what he's doing and try and stop or that your mum or grandmother would figure out a  way to help the situation and at least be able to talk without the step-dad interfering.

Thanks, but he'll never stop. He's been this way throughout his entire life and he absolutely loves it. Honestly, I don't think things are going to get better. I think this might just be the end of my family's relationship with them both.

I just posted this because I'm upset about it today.

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Smithy The Wizard

I'm sorry that you have this horrible man in your life to deal with. At least you know some of his tactics, and that they won't work on you. I hope things get better soon, Kuribo. Sorry that I can't give you that much advice.

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Nintendo2

 Kuribo I'm really sorry to hear this :( I hope things get better somehow and I will pray for you and your family. God Bless You.

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Kuribo [old account]

Shit, I just received a text to my phone, and it's obviously from him. Well, my iPhone is jailbroken, so I guess I'll just have to install a tweak to block specific numbers.

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Toran

Shit, I just received a text to my phone, and it's obviously from him. Well, my iPhone is jailbroken, so I guess I'll just have to install a tweak to block specific numbers.

Keep them as evidence let him send them then you have them to prove his actions if he gets too far the wrong side of decency.

I'm sorry that you have this horrible man in your life to deal with. At least you know some of his tactics, and that they won't work on you. I hope things get better soon, Kuribo. Sorry that I can't give you that much advice.

Your there for support that means a lot I'm sure

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AutismUnrestricted

Hi Kuribo, I'm sorry to hear about it, that must be extremely hard to deal with. It's unfortunate that you have him as a family member :(, It sounds awful that he pretends to be someone else to manipulate you. Its good that you can identify that its him and not your grand mother. 

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Heather

Thanks, but he'll never stop. He's been this way throughout his entire life and he absolutely loves it. Honestly, I don't think things are going to get better. I think this might just be the end of my family's relationship with them both.

I just posted this because I'm upset about it today.

 

 

Shit, I just received a text to my phone, and it's obviously from him. Well, my iPhone is jailbroken, so I guess I'll just have to install a tweak to block specific numbers.

 

Aww well I hope your family can come to terms with the limited contact.  It sucks when supposed family act mean,abusive and manipulative.  I know my boyfriend has dealt with abusive family members and therefore currently the only family member he can talk to and trust is his dad.  I've been fortunate though, my family has never been too mean, though I don't talk to them much but that's just because our family sort of just aren't that social to begin with.  I wish you luck, at least to develop a sort of coping mechanism to help you when these things happen so it doesn't always affect you too much.  Though it's really sad that these things happen!

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