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Saveyourscissors

Anxiousness

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Saveyourscissors

I seem to be a lot more anxious lately I though going back to work would help as I'd get my routine back but I'm still anxious a lot.

I feel like I'm walking on broken glass waiting for the next thing to make me anxious. It seems to be so often /: I've been taking myself out of the situation where possible but well that's not always possible. I'm finding bruises everywhere where I've bitten myself or hit myself or whatever else I've done in whilst in a state of anxiousness.

An example which is making me notice this more than ever is on monday night I went to a gig, my favourite artist in the whole world! Dallas Green (city & colour) but I had to really force myself to go the whole time thinking I don't think I will cope I'm not in the right frame of mind, it's going to be really crowded in a small venue I won't be able to breath people will touch me. I'm too anxious already to go. But I know if I didn't try I'd regret it, when I was on the way I started to feel super I'll when we stopped at my mums (great another thing to unsettle me further) I questioned going again and I was already super struggling with noise and had my ear defenders on already at this point. They convinced me to go because the tickets cost like £60. So I got there and the queue was huge :/ we arrived late on purposes as I wanted to avoid crowds as much as I could in the situations. We queued and when it was us at the front they wanted to check my bag the man touched,y stuff which I don't like and he touched my arm as he was looking thought it and he was rude and I didn't him at this point I was ready to run off and phit something I was noting my cheeks wanting to bite my arm or anywhere I could reach I held back as much as I could and bite my hand as soon as I felt I could with out him seeing. He took my water bottle (brand new) and said I couldn't take it in and I got super stressed and questioned it and said well I have a very severe allergy and need access to it at anytime I may need to take a pilland he was all you can buy drinks inside but we had no money to buy drinks and that's another reason I took it but in the middle of a crown if I had a reaction I wouldn't be able to access water quick enough I was getting angry and it showed and he got ruder and more unreasonable. He to,d me to drink it or throw it away. So I had to drink some then throw it away /: he then took my deodorant and said I wasn't allowed that, I said why he said cause its an airosole pathetic it's a gig I don't want to smell and I always have it in my bad anyway! :( I had enough I'm poor right now why do they not tell you this on the website if it is a problem no other gig has ever done this too me!!!! They have only ever stopped you taking cameras with removable lenses in! I'm angry they didn't put this as a warning on website so that I wouldn't have taken it and lost my belonging. I had no more deodorant at home or money to buy some. Luckily we sorted it. Anyway I got in there and couldn't see a thing when the org act was on and I felt so stressed I was read to have a meltdown right there but held back for Josh's sake and to save myself being embarrassed that people could see me. I was biting and pinching myself fiddling with my hair and pulling and I was getting so anxious then josh suggested we change places and it was better we had a good view and space on he was close enough to touch me I was still on edge though then the inevitable happened support act ended and it was almost time for Dallas and people were getting closer and closer. I thought I could handle it but I was struggling anyway I coped just but then once he started that was is I accidentally touched a girls hand trying to get Josh's to feel safer and I freaked out inside. People were literally touching me from sides and front and josh behind. I kept him as close as possible to cope better but usually I would be in the zone and so distracted by dallas I wouldn't care but not this time I just couldn't stop worrying and thinking about it /: I enjoyed the music but as soon as we left I got to the car andre my ear defenders straight on it didn't help josh was walking really fast and wouldnt wait as he said I needed to speed up but my feet were killing and I couldn't but it was raining and cold and he wanted to get back to the car /: I just wanted to get home and get to bed. I wasn't excited or anything.

Dallas green is my favourite thing, I usually completely shut f and calm down etc when I hear his music or am at his gigs I'm usually so happy I just couldn't get into that this time /: but I don't know why?

Why am I seeming more anxious still now I have a routine back /: I don't like it and I need to find some calming/avoidance methods!

Other thing is I used to have tiny outbursts and build it all up into one huge meltdown now I'm having more and each timer entry much instead of the build up I don't know which is better /: it's having less effect on others but not on me. I'm anxious 80% of the time worrying about almost everything /:

If you have any iut or help or ideas or advice I will be really happy to hear from you .

Thanks for reading

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aspiesw

I think I've asked you before, but I don't remember the answer, but do you take medication for your anxiety? It may help, does for some people, but not for others. I know how you feel by the way, last week I was anxious all the time, I had my dissertation presentation, I bought my new car, I had an interview for a job, it just never ended, and I didn't feel better after it. I think having every organised and knowing what to expect from any situation - as much as possible, helps me with my anxiety.

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Saveyourscissors

Only media I take are, inhalers and the pill. On a daily basis. I don't take men's they tried to put me on mess when I was first diagnosed but I refused them. And they tried once since but again refused to take them.

I don't really see any doctors or physiologists anymore for them to try and put me on anything etc now haha. I just hate it.

I don't feel uncomfortable with meds, I am who I am yanno? Plus I'm bad enough at taking the pill and my inhalers let alone anything else.

/: I don't like the idea of meds at all /: do you take any? Im remember you mentioning Kalms but I don't believe they do anything really myself! But I understand everyone is different.

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InDubioVeritas

I am sorry to read you had such a difficult time at the concert. Anxiety is something I am all too familiar with and although I cannot offer a magic solution, I will pass on what little I have learned in my own quest to silence those particularly unhelpful voices.

Medications can be beneficial to some people, but they are not for everyone. Lower dosages of benzodiazepines can sometimes offer some relief, though it is important to avoid becoming reliant as such drugs are potentially addictive.

Anxiety, though perfectly natural and indeed evolutionarily vital, can often become distressing or paralysing when it builds up without relief. The most important idea I learned was to attempt to remind yourself that it will pass. Our brains tend to create the illusion that anxiety will continue to mount without relief, whereas what always happens is that it builds and then subsides. It comes in waves and learning to anticipate each wave breaking helps avoid the sense of powerlessness and panic. Just repeating the self-reassurance that this will pass can make a lot of difference.

Concentrating on measured breathing can also be beneficial. I have also found picturing the anxiety flowing out of your body is sometimes helpful. I am not suggesting anything as formal as meditation, but simply choosing to think about your breathing and creating an image in your mind of your anxiety moving down your arms or legs and out of you. It sounds a little foolish and my instinct – being a natural skeptic – was to associate such notions with the vagaries of alternative medicine, but it is nothing more than controlled breathing and distracting the emotional brain.

I hope that helps a little.

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Saveyourscissors

I am sorry to read you had such a difficult time at the concert. Anxiety is something I am all too familiar with and although I cannot offer a magic solution, I will pass on what little I have learned in my own quest to silence those particularly unhelpful voices.

Medications can be beneficial to some people, but they are not for everyone. Lower dosages of benzodiazepines can sometimes offer some relief, though it is important to avoid becoming reliant as such drugs are potentially addictive.

Anxiety, though perfectly natural and indeed evolutionarily vital, can often become distressing or paralysing when it builds up without relief. The most important idea I learned was to attempt to remind yourself that it will pass. Our brains tend to create the illusion that anxiety will continue to mount without relief, whereas what always happens is that it builds and then subsides. It comes in waves and learning to anticipate each wave breaking helps avoid the sense of powerlessness and panic. Just repeating the self-reassurance that this will pass can make a lot of difference.

Concentrating on measured breathing can also be beneficial. I have also found picturing the anxiety flowing out of your body is sometimes helpful. I am not suggesting anything as formal as meditation, but simply choosing to think about your breathing and creating an image in your mind of your anxiety moving down your arms or legs and out of you. It sounds a little foolish and my instinct – being a natural skeptic – was to associate such notions with the vagaries of alternative medicine, but it is nothing more than controlled breathing and distracting the emotional brain.

I hope that helps a little.

That's great way of dealing with it but for me I have to leave the situation for it to stop properly or I have to let it out and let it pass, I find that it can take hours/days/weeks for the beginning cause toass though /: I also find that I don't know something's happened after its happened unless I'm told it happened if you know what I mean? I will try breath techniques and look some up and see what may help but I can't picture it leaving me as well I don't know how to? I've never been able to picture anything I don't understand the whole concept of picturing something that's not happening or visible to you. I agree about the drugs thing though, I don't want to be reliant on anything like that /:

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InDubioVeritas

I can certainly appreciate that you might find picturing something so abstract difficult. In fact, I struggle with it myself. I mentioned it only as a piece of advice I was offered and in the hope it might prove more effective to you than it was to me. It certainly makes sense in theory...

It is probable that the AS makes imagining such things more challenging for us. It may be an almost universal trait, but autism/Asperger's manifests so differently that even basic traits vary in presentation.

 

To tell the truth, I struggle with often crippling anxiety myself so I cannot pretend to offer more than ideas. What I can promise is that I understand what you are experiencing and that I will gladly offer whatever help and understanding of which I am able. You are far from alone.

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Nesf

Oh gosh, that sounds horrendous - you'd think you were going through airport security. What do they think, that you're a terrorist or something? It's a shame it happened because something like that can totally ruin what should be a fantastic experience. I agree that they should inform you on the website about these security measures.

 

I have a constant low level of anxiety which isn't crippling and doesn't prevent me from going about my daily business, but it means that if something unexpected happens I become more anxious very quickly. As InDubioVeritas says, it comes in waves, and something quite trivial can set it off. I find the situations like the incident you described very upsetting and to control my emotions I often bite my lip, dig my fingernails into the palm of my hand, or even pinch the skin on my back.

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Saveyourscissors

I can certainly appreciate that you might find picturing something so abstract difficult. In fact, I struggle with it myself. I mentioned it only as a piece of advice I was offered and in the hope it might prove more effective to you than it was to me. It certainly makes sense in theory...

It is probable that the AS makes imagining such things more challenging for us. It may be an almost universal trait, but autism/Asperger's manifests so differently that even basic traits vary in presentation.

 

To tell the truth, I struggle with often crippling anxiety myself so I cannot pretend to offer more than ideas. What I can promise is that I understand what you are experiencing and that I will gladly offer whatever help and understanding of which I am able. You are far from alone.

Yes I agree with you completely, I will try it out but I think I will find it incredibly hard to get the picture in my head if I manage it! I participate all of your ideas, thank you for you help and being so kind! You've already made such a friendly impression of yourself with only 8 posts! Thank you again.

Oh gosh, that sounds horrendous - you'd think you were going through airport security. What do they think, that you're a terrorist or something? It's a shame it happened because something like that can totally ruin what should be a fantastic experience. I agree that they should inform you on the website about these security measures.

 

I have a constant low level of anxiety which isn't crippling and doesn't prevent me from going about my daily business, but it means that if something unexpected happens I become more anxious very quickly. As InDubioVeritas says, it comes in waves, and something quite trivial can set it off. I find the situations like the incident you described very upsetting and to control my emotions I often bite my lip, dig my fingernails into the palm of my hand, or even pinch the skin on my back.

I know right! It was ridiculous! Like I'd spend all that money just to go there and throw a bottle or something!!! Utter joke Nesf I can tell you that I will not be going to the O2 academy Bournemouth again!!! Exactly and it did ruin it, completely. I feel like that's what's happening with a constant level of anxiety but I don't know if it's low/medium/high or something I between one of those? I in ink your right though it's just when something little happens extra it becomes a lot worse in no time at all. yes I was biting my hand/arms/cheek/lip and fiddling a lot :( im just gutted as its now a negative experience of the thing I enjoy the most :'(

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Saveyourscissors

It's happening again :( I can't cope :@:@:@

ARRRGGGGG!!! Fuck sake.

I need coco.

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Pinky and his brain

That sounds like a really bad experience. :(

 

I do not know you personally, but I think you are pushing yourself a little too hard at the moment. You said you are back to having a routine with your work, but you have to remember that you only had this job for about 1 month. Aspies do not adapt that quickly. Even if your job is a lot like the one you had before. It is still a completely new place, with new people. A lot of things has changed. And you have been ill on top of that. Give yourself a break, you need it.

 

One advice I can give you that sometimes work for me, is to take one thing at the time. Simply try to clear your mind, and focus on only the next thing you have to do. When it's done then you start thinking about the next. It may sound stupid and too easy. But it is not easy, it takes a lot of will power to shut everything else down. But when you succeed, you will feel much more calm.

 

Try to ignore things that are not really important right now.  Your biggest enemy is an overloaded brain. Stress causes anxiety, anxiety causes more stress and so on. Try not to make too many new plans for what you have to do.

 

Find a cosy place and spoil yourself a little. You have the right to feel good. Forget all the troubles, and focus on what makes you happy. :)

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