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Echo

"Asperclickers" - Our Story - Living with Aspergers

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HalfFull

I was born in 1973 and was always socially different to children of my age, and even got held back a year at infant school due to not talking to the teacher. I got bullied a bit at secondary school and college, and couldn't understand what it was that made me seem different to everyone else, even when I thought I was doing all the same things. At University I was more solitary than most students and I lost a few simple jobs and even 2 work placements. The worst thing was that from where I was standing nothing was glaringly obvious. I knew I was much more introverted than others and that I did things more slowly, but never knew that I was actually missing out on other things, really subtle unspoken things that I either did or should have been doing. These things had never been mentioned to me, but then I suppose thats because to them, how could I not be aware? Do you think that if I knew I seemed odd, that I would deliberately continue this odd behaviour or continue to not do things that my failure to do makes me seem odd, cold, rude, aloof or whatever way it makes me seem? If you had told me at the time, I would have acted more like everyone else, not to the point of being a sheep and not being myself, and even now knowing that I have AS, I can't mask my symptoms 24/7 and still find certain things like eye contact and spontaneous social reciprocation extremely cumbersome, but after my mother offered this 'unheard of' condition related to Autism called Asperger Syndrome as an explanation, everything started to make sense and I had a sharper sense of many of the things that I did and others didn't, or others did and I didn't. It hasn't fixed all problems but I now know myself so much better, and I find websites like Asperclick and one that I run myself are wonderful for exchanging stories of experience, so that not only can I understand and manage myself better, but can also share my experiences with other Aspies like pixiedust, It can seem quite magical sometimes.

Edited by HalfFull

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Auletes

That's my try: I hope grammar and stuff is more or less correct and it's not too long.


 


Dealing with the outside-world


 


My outside-life consists of lines, rhythms and melodies. When I leave my house- when I have to be in the outside-world -  I walk along lines. I’m very creative in imagine lines as I’m not always walking on cobbled streets. I imagine lines between the tree on one side of the road and between the care on the other side. Light and shadow build my lines. When I’m walking outside a melody is constantly repeating in my head, mostly just one or two metres of a peace of music I know. I cross my imagined lines according to the rhythm of the melody and I move a finger for each note of the melody. I move the fingers thumb to little finger, and back again. So I’m actually doing tree different things and always try to coordinate them, that's why I most times don't walk on a straight line, do same small, even tiny steps, and then bigger ones or I nearly jump. Actually cobbled streets are extra difficult, because the lines they naturally build need to be matched with trees, cars, street lamps and other stuff on each side of the road.


You think this sounds very complex? Yes, it is as I can hardly describe it properly.


Do you think it sounds like a lot of effort? Yes, it is, but otherwise this world is to much a mess, a disorder, mixed up.


So maybe you understand why I might not greet you while walking on the street. People are just other points for my lines. So you may understand as well why I don’t like crowds: all the moving people really need effort to be somehow put in lines. You may understand why I can’t stand it when you interrupt me when I’m shopping, because on top of all my lines, rhythms and melodies I need to concentrate on what I want to buy.


You see, my way to be in the outside world is exhausting, but it helps me to deal with everything, to navigate trough this load, bright and never resting world.


But on a good day, I put my fingers around the thumb and make a fist and I just walk down a road with straight even steps and am proud of myself=)


Edited by Auletes

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Echo

These are fantastic peeps!!! Really good. Thanks  :wub:

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Alex

This is a great idea, great thread. 

 

I have been working a bit on something myself. I guess you would call it a poem. It's not very good though, and I don't think it's finished/I'm not satisfied with it. But maybe, once it's finished, I could convince myself to post it.

 

Or I may just write another paragraph on my life, but it would take some time!

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Echo

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Edited by Echo

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Echo

I'm using the Britstrip app on Facebook - Just type Britstrip into your Facebook search bar and add the app. :) If you are having any problems, I can create a character for you, invite you to join, from there you can customize your avatar and start creating these little beauties. E 

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